Teach Me to Love
by Kapootya
Summary: Bella 27; English Professor. Edward 36; Famous novelist. Rosalie 23; Italian heiress. Emmett 25; Football coach. Jasper 21; engineering undergrad student. Alice 27; Fashion Designer. This is their story. BPov, Emotional, Lemons, Human. Enjoy
1. Same Shit Different Day

**Disclaimer**: None of the characters belong to me. Characters based off Twilight.

I got the idea from one of my friends when she asked me what I thought Bella would be like if she got a chance to live a human life. I thought that she would be a perfect English teacher...so I started writing my first fanfiction in 4 years, and made an account on this site just to put it up for everyone's opinions :) Thank you for reading!! Let me know what you think :)

Bella's PoV

* * *

Getting up is the hardest part of the day. Especially when being a card carrying member of "same shit – different day" club. But today my membership was up for discussion.

I moaned hearing the alarm clock – or well my phone's alarm going off. It annoyed me, and every morning I swore I'd change it, and every night I kept it the same. Same shit – different day. I sat up slowly, my blanket was tangled up in my feet and I slowly removed it. My eyes refused to open. I moved ungracefully to the edge of the bed and my naked feet touched the cold tiled floors. Shivers ran up my spin making the hairs on the back of my neck stand up and my body was filled with gooseflesh for a moment. I hate mornings. I moaned to myself and my eyes forcefully opened and I looked around.

The sun was up, and my room was bright. I had never seen my room filled with so much light. My room wasn't anything special; it consisted of a bed with purple sheets, blanket, and 2 pillows in the left hand corner. A rosemary wooden desk with papers stacked in no order all over with 3 empty mugs for company across from the bed. There was a single window in front of my desk, and I could always watch the sunrise from it.

Next to my desk was the door to my walk in closet which was only 1/4th filled with clothes, in the back of my clothes were stacks of old books from my high school, undergraduate and graduate years of reading and research. Across from my closet was a 6 drawer dresser. The first 2 drawers held undergarments and the rest held books, notebooks, papers, and pens. I was a stationary junkie.

In the corners of my room (and up against every open space of my walls) were even more stalks of books, nearly all of them owned by me. Then across my room was a door leading out to a narrow hallway with a bathroom to the right and a living room straight ahead.

The living room/ kitchen /dining room would be a better description. It had a black leather coach in the middle of the room, with a glass coffee table in front of it; both facing a flat screen T.V that cost nearly a month's worth of my paycheck but it was given to me as a present from Alice. God knows that I would never spend that much money on electronics…books yes, but anything that beeped and buzzed and flickered wasn't my cup of anything.

Behind the coach was the kitchen area, which consisted of a sink, oven, stove, and fridge with a bar-like metal counter covering half the perimeter separating it from the living room. My apartment screamed single.

I let out a sigh, I needed be thrown into the Black Sea or thrown out of a plane with no parachute. Something to wake me up. The amount of sleep I got wouldn't supply me with enough energy for another 10 minutes.

_A hot shower would be so nice_ I thought to myself and it usually woke me up nicely. But today wasn't a usually type of day. After all, my club membership was up for debate because of today.

Like normal, I went to sleep at 5 A.M, but instead of waking up at noon, today I woke up at 7 A.M. It was rare for me to be up with the rest of the working world almost as rare as a girl with real confidence.

My life had become so dull and repetitive; I almost became revolted by this new change in my daily schedule. If I wanted change, I'd read another book, that's how I kept my life interesting for me. This was not interesting, this was torture. This was against the 5th amendment. Or was it the 8th? My brain wasn't even functioning yet.

The two hours of sleep I got was such a tease, my eye lid closed on me again and I forced myself to my feet and into the bathroom to shower. I should have just not gone to sleep. It would have made the day so much easier; I glanced over through my sleep deprived vision at my bed. It looked better than an Abercrombie model. Although god knows how long it has been since I got laid. Sleep vs. sex… I didn't know which I needed more.

But I wasn't going to get either today. Esme, the Director of just about everything at the University of Forks, had asked me to met with our new midyear transfer group and give them a tour of the school. One of them was flying in from Italy, another from Greece and another from California. She made this into a big deal because the one flying from Greece apparently published some revolutionary dissertation under the University of Fork's name. She sounded like she was in love with him, she just wouldn't shut up about him.

But that was Esme for you. She never had anything bad to say about anyone. But this Greek guy was something special apparently because the way she talked about him was nearly the same way as Carlisle and that says a lot.

_I think his name was Eddie._ _Or something._

I opened the door to the bathroom and it let out a cry as it screeched open. I'd get around to oiling up the hinges one day. Just not today, or tomorrow…or anytime soon. I closed the door behind me, it squeaked in protest.

My bathroom, much like the rest of my apartment was simple. A mirror, a toilet, a bathtub, and a hanger for towels. Simple.

I looked at myself in the mirror as I stripped down naked for a shower. I didn't wear any Victoria's Secret type pajamas to bed, just shorts and a tank top with a built in bra. Because sleeping with a bra was just so…uncomfortable. Being comfortable was important to me.

I looked at my pale body being unraveled and thought to myself, _Or wait, was it Ed? Or maybe Edmundo? _I remembered reading the textbook sized dissertation a few years ago. It was well written; it reminded me of Victorian writing. It had a lot to do with human condition and rhetoric and how it was shown through classical literature, politics, and economics. It was very Plato and Socrates-ish. I was pretty sure of that, but I couldn't recall how it made me feel or what his stance was. Or if I was even thinking about the right thing.

I heard my front door open, _oh no I'm being robbed_, I thought sheepishly to myself. Knowing far too well it was my Assistant, Jasper, making sure I was actually out of bed. Apparently the Edwin character was quit a celebrity. It had both Esme and Jasper super excited. I rolled my eyes.

I remembered that he might have written something else, a book maybe? _Maybe_. I read about 3-6 books a month and that's not including the 100 or so papers I had to grade so it was hard to keep titles and authors straight in my head. That's what my assistant was for.

I turned on the shower, and then turned my attention back to the sink. It had a crack going across its metallic bowl leading down to the drain. I could move to a better apartment, I certainly saved the money up for it. The apartment had a lot of downsides to it, but it was small, simple, and sturdy. I liked that.

I placed my hand in the way of the falling droplets of water coming from my shower head, it was still cold. It took a few minutes for the hot water to kick in, so I began to brush my teeth in the meantime. The one good thing for 2 hours of sleep, I didn't have to deal with morning breath so the minty toothpaste didn't feel all that disgusting foaming up in my mouth.

I heard the T.V turn on suddenly in the background, Jasper was certainly making himself at home. He lowered the sound to a respectable volume till sound of running water made it impossible to hear what he was watching.

I took a quick shower; the hot water only lasted 10 minutes in the morning. Afternoon was the best time to shower, I cursed under my breathe as the shower started to lose its comforting heat. Then suddenly the hot water stopped all together and frozen shards beat against my body violently. I let out a yelp and squeal that sounded something similar to a squirrel dodging getting run over by a 16 wheeler.

I tumbled out of the tub. I was dripping wet, and didn't even get a chance to wash out the conditioner from my hair completely. I shut off the water in defeat; I refused to go back into the arctic water to finish my shower.

I left my brown hair resembling a hay stack. I dried myself off with the green towel on the hanger and then wrapped it around my small frame. I wasn't rail thin, but I wasn't fat. I was soft and slim with no sign of muscles. Turning pages wasn't exactly a work out that burned calories. I walked out the bathroom and went to the living room first to see Jasper watching the news.

He was 20 years old, or maybe 21. Didn't matter, he was a senior working on his engineering degree and for some odd reason he wanted to be my teaching assistant after the first class he ever took with me. So I decided to entertain him and allow him to be my little pet – I mean assistant.

But he turned out to blow all my expectations away. He never talked much, he listened carefully, was very detailed and articulate and amazingly organized. Freakishly organized. Inhumanly organized. It was my first year teaching, and with him as my assistant my second semester was a breeze compared to the hurricane of my first.

He had a slender but built body. He loved to run, and was dedicated to the crew team. They usually met at 9 AM to 10 AM for work outs so they never interfered with his assistant duties to me. Plus I had to like him even more since he captured the heart of my cougar best friend.

I looked him over, he wore a plan black knitted sweater, probably made by Emse, and blue faded jeans. He took his shoes off in the hallway so his feet were covered my black cotton socks. I was stingy about shoes in my apartment; I kept it decently clean except for books and papers. He turned his head when he noticed me at the doorway.

"You! I thought I told you to be ready at 7!" He stood up from my leather sofa and glared at me his voice was harsh.

"What?" I was confused…and almost naked. I should have gotten dressed before coming to greet him. It was uncomfortable to get into an argument when you're nearly completely naked.

"You're supposed to be an adult!" He growled.

"Yeah tell that to Peter Pan." I was about to get lectured. I was about 6 years OLDER than him, and he was more of a mother to me than an assistant. He would have a field day with my mother, if I was a kid to him that would make my mother an infant.

"Didn't you get my messages?" I turned around on the heel of my feet trying to avoid the conversation, but he followed behind me swiftly.

"Nope."

"Do you _ever_ check your voicemail?"

"I forgot my password." I used that excuse every time I missed an important phone call.

"It's 0, 0, 0, 0!" It sounded like he hissed the last number. We both entered my room.

"Oh, why so early?" I went looking into my closet.

_What to wear, what to wear, what to wear._

"Because I wanted to go over Emmett, Rosalie, and Edwards portfolios so you'd be somewhat decently prepared."

"Edward!" I said with great satisfaction and nodded to myself.

"You need coffee." He said as he gently pushed me aside and picked out my wardrobe for me.

"Jeez, you're getting more like Alice every day." I grumbled as he handed me a white tank top, a white silk blouse with long sleeves and gray business slacks. Everything that had been purchased in Alice's store. Alice was my best friend since kindergarten, and once I introduced the two of them it was hot passionate lust followed by love and now it was only a matter of time till he popped the question. It wouldn't be a surprise if she would pop it out of impatience.

Alice was a tiny fairy-like girl, with short spiky hair and a graceful dancer like walk. She owned a designer name, and custom made all her own clothes and sold them in a store a few miles away from Forks. Her clothes were more expensive than college tuition for most of the students here.

"Get dressed, do something about your hair, and listen to me." He instructed me sternly, his dark, nearly black, eyes met my brown eyes and I nodded. I would have saluted him, but the clothes in my arms and the loose towel kept me from wiggling too much.

He stepped out of my room and closed the door and I heard him walk back into the living room. After a moment I heard the soft thud indicating that he was leaning against the door. I let the towel drop to my feet, and I tossed the clothes on my unmade bed as I went to my drawers and picked out a black thong and white bra with lace designs. He began speaking to me through the door after he heard me close a drawer.

"Rosalie is the daughter of Volturi." That name sounded familiar to me. "They are a very well known family with a strong Italian heritage."

"Old money or new money?" I asked as I slipped my panties on.

"Old…more like ancient. They're riches date back to the 15th century. And she is very privileged. She's been all around the world, twice over. Owns real-estate anywhere worth owning land. She loves wine, especially red wine."

I interrupted him. "What the hell, am I taking her out on a date? Want to tell me what kind of diamonds she prefers so I can get a ring ready too?" I replied making a smug face he couldn't see.

"Ahem, her family is famous for their wine."

_Oh, that makes sense._

He continued now that I had no more witty remarks. "Her mother had been born in Forks, and thought it would be good for her to take a year and study at the University. Her mother and father had a very Cinderella like story." He paused for a second. "Anyway she's 22 years old. She never received a degree in anything, but she is very well educated. Especially in physics. She is an avid art lover, and has collected 19.3 million dollars worth of paintings, 34 million dollars worth of statues, and at least 15 million dollars worth of photography."

I whistled under my breath as I put one foot in through my pant leg. _If I had that kind of money to blow…_

"Emmet was a football player protégée. He was USC's star player during his time in college, but refused to go into professional. He was invited to be the football coach here and a sport professor."

"Sport professor?" I scoffed.

"He has a medical degree."

That shut me up fast. Anything dealing with advanced science – in my opinion took a genius to comprehend. It wasn't that I was bad at science, but dissecting and the real life videos of operations repulsed me. That and I had real big problems with blood, like faint at the sight of blood type of problems. Give me a book on science and I'd ace the exam. Give me an artery to cut and I'll be the one rushed to the emergency room.

I was finally dressed and reached over for the comb on the top of my dresser. I stared at the picture of my father and sighed letting my eyes wander away and listened intently to Jaspers soothing voice.

"He is going to be teaching a sports injury class and coaching the football team and if the funding gets approved he will start a hiking club."

Hiking. Medical. This guy was definitely not my type.

"What about Edward?" I asked as I gave up trying to tame my honey nut brown locks. I put the comb back in place and pulled my hair back into a pony tail.

"Ahem," he cleared his throat, "Edward…I didn't think you needed an introduction for him."

Now I was confused…but at least I was dressed.

"You read his dissertation and wrote him a very…ummm." He went off looking for the right word, while I on the other hand tried to remember his dissertation. It was so rare for modern day writing to evoke a response from me. "Okay, I'm sorry Bella but excuse me for being blunt. But you called him a stingy narrow minded self centered living in a box jackass with no sense of emotion or feeling in his empty vessel excuse of a body with a mind that was incapable of registering anything that did not fit into an equation." He sounded like he had recited that part prior to talking to me. Probably needed the practice, I made run-on sentences a mile long when I was angry.

I mouthed the word "Oh." The memories came back to me. His dissertation was cold and cruel; it grouped humans together as irrational but predictable beings. I hated that. But even worse, it stated that everyone was evil on the inside. I hated that more than the word hate could describe.

I went over to my door and gave a slight knock, and Jasper leaned off it and opened the door for me. He looked down at me awaiting for my response.

"Let's pretend I wrote that while I was drunk?" I offered as he followed me across a narrow hallway towards the living room.

"You signed it, P.S: I have not been drinking and writing."

I mouthed another "oh." He picked up his books, planner, and folder from my coffee table and met me at the door, where I was putting on my black shoes – with no heels, because I was not suicidal. When I finished I took his items from him, which were really mine but again; he was freakishly organized and I didn't trust myself with holding my lecture plans, record books, and student papers for a long period of time. I was a klutz.

He bent over to put on his black leather shoes; they had a slight platform and looked very expensive, probably had "made in Italy" imprinted somewhere on them or "Pixie"; Alice's company name. He stood up looking at me.

"So I vote discrepancy is the key. You introduce yourself with your first name, and show them around quickly. I figure we start from –"

I interrupted him again. "Did Edward write some kind of book?"

I caught him off guard and suppressed an involuntary giggle. I loved doing that since he was usually so prepared for everything. At least it brightened me day up a little bit.

"Yes, you actually enjoyed his fiction books."

"I did?" My memory sucked when it came to names. He opened the door for me and I walked out still holding the books.

"Yes, it was about vampires. He wrote about them losing their souls when they were transformed. It was very gruesome and masochistic. You loved it. I couldn't read anything after the first book. The first book was just too disturbing for my tastes."

I remembered the books. It was a good series, better than some of Anne Rice's vampire novels, and a hundred times better than the original Dracula. I hated the original Dracula book, well at least the first part – if the book consisted of only the last 200 pages it would have earned more favor from me. Although I didn't remember the first book being as horrific as Jasper described.

"Shall we?" He grabbed the items back from me and I made my way down the stairs. I lived on the third floor, and each floor had its own apartment. So technically only 3 other people lived on the floor, the lobby was only for laundry, mail, and an exit/entrance.

"Why is Edward coming here?" I asked curiously when Jasper caught up to me on the second floor.

"I don't know." Jasper said as he stepped ahead of me to open the lobby door and held it for me once more. He was such a gentleman. He would so be my type if he had an ounce of bad boy in him. But he was good through and through. And whipped hardcore by Alice.

We walked in silence, my apartment building was 2 blocks away from the main campus…that was another reason why I didn't want to move to a better neighborhood – I still didn't have my license. With weather being as rainy as it is in Forks, walking long distances wasn't the brightest idea. I didn't trust myself in a car; I could barely coordinate my own feet without causing physical harm to myself or someone else.

"What's the weather like for today?" The clouds were a soft gray color, they nearly looked innocent, but I knew better. It would rain. It always rains eventually.

"Alice said it wouldn't rain till the evening." He replied opening one of the notebooks in his arms. "You're doing a discussion on Withering Heights today in Novel 252 class. Their homework was to finish the book, and they have a paper due next week. You haven't assigned them any topics." He looked at me confused. "Are you going to assign them any topics?"

"No, let them write what they want. They have 15 pages, let them go wild." I said with a smirk. Jasper rolled his eyes; he knew the papers that didn't catch my attention within the first page would go to him for grading.

The campus became nearer with every step, everything was so green. We had plants of every kind growing, and there was always at least a tree every 2 feet. We had 3 national acclaimed gardens, and owned 5 greenhouses. I didn't care much for plants; I tended to kill them than grow them. So I just stayed away when I could.

We had eight buildings on campus and one library. Four of the buildings went up to the fifth floor and were made of red brick, the other two were one story tall but were exceptionally long and had an underground floor. It consisted mainly of lecture halls and had a granite façade. The main building on Campus, which was named; "The Center", was the most ancient of all the buildings. It was built of timeless stone, and looked more like a cottage from a fairy tale. It was only two stories tall, the back and second floor were used as medical offices.

We had two parking lots, one in front of The Center and one near the newly renovated library building on the other side. Half a mile off campus near the Football Arena there was another parking lot but it was only used during games. Near the arena there was a state of the art gymnasium and fitness center. I never went there before. I assumed I'd have to show Emmett around there since that was probably where he would be spending the majority of his time. I tried to remember how to even get there from the campus. Jasper disrupted me from my thoughts.

"Your Creative Writing 402 class has their report due by Friday. You know no one will hand it in till a few minutes before midnight." He said more to himself than to me. "How many pages is their piece supposed to be?"

"Not less than 50 pages."

"You're killing me." He said closing the book and looking ahead.

"You should have been an engineering assistant."

"Maybe I will be, but I don't want to be responsible for your death."

"Har har." I said crossing my arms across my chest, it was cold and I was shivering. If I had my way, I'd be wearing a huge comfy sweater and sweat pants, and STILL in bed.


	2. Welcome to Forks

We arrived on campus 5 minutes later and were a few feet away from The Center in another 3. The doors to the little fairy tale cottage were out of place, they were modern doors – glass and see through. It felt that thick wooden doors that would give you splinters just from touching them would fit better.

We could see Esme sitting at the front desk talking to the school doctor as we approached. Doctor Carlisle to be exact, Cullen is his last name but no one uses it. Esme and Carlisle giggled at each other about something before their heads turned to meet us and they welcomed us with a smile. Jasper, obviously, held the door for me while we entered inside. The floors were wooden paneled and were in desperate need of a wax job.

Esme and Carlisle were both in their mid 30's but they both looked so healthy that they could pass for 25. Younger than me. But then again I could probably pass for 40 with my lifestyle.

Esme had soft blonde hair that had such a gentle shade that it was nearly peach colored. She usually left it down, and it grazed her shoulders gently as she moved her head from side to side. Her body was small and fit, but her curves were round and smoothed her body out nicely. Her eyes were a deep brown shade, similar to mine, and her lips were thin and always spread out to a comforting smile, it was rare to see a frown on her face. And you'd never see anything short of pure happiness when Esme was near Carlisle. They dated each other from time to time but neither indicated that they were in a serious relationship but you'd have to be blind, incompetent, deaf, and flipped outside down not to see the chemistry between them.

Carlisle was about a half a foot taller than Esme, and his graceful manner made him look more like a model than a doctor. He always wore his white jacket everywhere, but under neither he had a 1960's style vest and white collared shirt with slacks to match his vest. He also had blonde hair, but it was more silver than blonde. He worked nearly 12 hours a day and the gray was starting to show.

"Good morning my dears." Esme greeted Jasper and I as we came to the marble counter. Carlsilie greeted us with a smile and nod and Esme reached for something on her desk and shuffled some papers before she handed me my mail.

_Some students actually turned in some papers early. _

I handed them to Jasper and he placed them into his folder.

I looked back at Esme and she held out a Luna bar to me. Cookies and Cream. I gave an Esme an: Oh my god I love you have my children glance, as I unwrapped my breakfast. Esme asked Jasper about Alice.

The front desk was made of black marble stone, and it was where most of the teachers and teacher's assistants received their mail and packages. To the left was the Student Associations desk, similar to the front desk but it about half its size, and to the right was the Student Service desk, identical to its counterpart. No one was at those desks because school hours didn't start till 9. The clock behind Esme showed that it was 10 minutes till 8.

"How are you feeling Bella?" Carlisle asked me and I turned to face him, my mouth filled with a too big chunk of the bar. Esme began to whisper something to Jasper. I ignored them for the moment. I chewed quickly and swallowed. Nothing is more annoying than someone talking with a full mouth.

"I'm…" I tried to find an honest answer, "not a morning person."

"How is your shoulder?" He asked politely and placed his hand on the tip of my shoulder and rubbed it gently.

"Pain free!" I almost squealed about it. I had gotten into a car accident, as in a car hit me while I was walking home daydreaming with my head in the clouds, a few months ago. My shoulder was badly damaged. I had an intense dislike of hospitals even though the one on the second floor of the Center was homey and didn't reek of disinfectant whips and old-people medicine.

Carlisle was kind enough and treated me at home. Setting up an I.V, and all the strange medical machines that beeped and honked and went ding a ling. Okay I exaggerate but if I wasn't so drugged up it would have been impossible for me to fall asleep with all the noise. Alice, Jasper, Esme and Carlisle kept close watch on me and nursed me back to health. That was around the time Jasper started to walk to me to and from my classes every morning. Like he'd be able to stop a car from hitting me. He wasn't superman. Or batman. I liked batman more.

"How is your arm?"

"Good." I had fallen down my stairs last month and I had something in my bone shatter. That's when Jasper started walking inside my house to pick me up. I was a klutz.

"Ribs?"

"Great." I tried to go rollerblading last week, a bench stopped me. Alice destroyed my rollerblades with a hammer…after she made Jasper build a cage around my only window.

"Glad to hear." He gave my shoulder a tight squeeze. "Well I have to get back. Esme, I hope you have a wonderful day, I'll see you during lunch?"

Esme's pink cheeks turned a shade brighter, and Carlisle's smile widened as he took that as a yes. "You kids take care of yourselves." I took another bite of my bar, enjoying it this time.

We watched him walk away, to enter the medical part of The Center; you had to enter from the back. I turned my attention to Esme. "Like oh my god! He is sooooo into you!" I said in an overly enthusiastic voice as I teased her.

"Oh, well I don't know." Esme smiled gently. "He is a very nice gentleman." She said pretending to be slightly occupied with the papers at her desk.

Carlisle and Esme had been dancing the not completely committed to each other dance for the past 6 years. They weren't interested in anyone else but each other and they were close to having an actual relationship but Esme had a tragedy happen a few years back. I think it made her scared of relationships. But Carlisle is a patient man; I was positive that things would work out eventually.

She was by far the most selfless, kind, caring, and loving person I knew. Alice was a close second. I smiled warmly at her; she was one of my favorite staff members at the University. I absolutely loved her.

She derailed the subject from her, "Oh now you two, I know you will give a wonderful tour. I need them to be delivered back to café by the second lecture hall around noon for lunch with the president and dean. Afterwards, if you guys get off on the right foot maybe you can all go to dinner together." Her sweet voice was impossible to deny.

"We'll see. I have classes today and Jasper has papers to grade." I heard him groan and I took my last bite of my bar, savoring as much of it as possible.

The Center doors opened again, this time we were greeted by a Professor. Mike Newton. I didn't like him much; I had known him since high school and we shared too many classes together. I really didn't like his views on woman. We were once friends but our "Woman's Literature" class tore any resemblance of friendship we once had. He was also my ex boyfriend, I reserved every right to hate him and the skank Jessica that he cheated on me with. I looked away and Jasper gave him a polite hello and was greeted back in the same tone. Esme smiled and wished him a good morning as she handed him some papers. I pretended to chew as if I still had food in my mouth.

"Wow, can't believe it. The feminist is up in human hours, I was starting to think that you were a turning into a nocturnal being." He said smugly as he tossed a glance in my direction.

"Yes, I turned into a vampire, now run along before I bite you."

Before he could respond the door opened again and 2 unfamiliar faces walked in. I assumed they were two of the people I needed to give a tour.

_Here, early. _

I groaned. The earlier they came, the more time I had to spend time with them. I was kind of hoping they would be a half an hour or so late. Not that I didn't want to spend time with them, but my social life primarily composed of Alice, Jasper, and books. Pop culture eluded me, and small talk bored me.

They walked gracefully towards us; the female with an air of dominance and the man with a strong sense of masculinity.

The lady was about 5 inches taller than me, 3 or 4 of them were due to her stiletto type heels that clanked in rhythm as she walked towards us. She had the straight line walk of a model, and her gaze looked right through us with no expression to be read across her clear blue eyes and she puckered her red colored lips that hinted annoyance, or maybe it was their natural state. She wore a thick but tight, red turtle neck and a short black skirt that was probably made of some soon to be extinct animal. Her shoe straps looked more complicated than the blueprints of an atomic bomb.

I felt my self esteem take a hit, and then another…actually it was just getting pumiced for every second I stared at her. Her bright sunny blonde hair looked like golden strands. I wasn't sure if it was natural or professionally dyed or if it was real strands of gold. I stopped checking her out; I thought I might go blind from beauty. I looked over to the man walking a few steps behind her.

For some reason the first thing I thought of when my eyes swept him head to toe was that he resembled a bear. I wasn't sure if it was Emmett or Edward, but I assumed Emmett because most writers were not built like wrestlers. He was at least 3 inches taller than Rosalie in her heels, and looked at least a foot taller than me. He had an intimidating aura about him, but when he noticed me staring at him he gave me a big friendly smile that eased me down and relaxed me to the core. His smile made him look more open and approachable. He had short brown hair and his cheeks were shaded a bright pink from the weather he was probably unaccustomed to. He wore a surfer t shirt and plaid shorts and it was at most only 40 degrees outside.

_Not the smartest idea he's ever had…_

They both stopped in front of us. Mike took his leave immediately and I crunched the wrapper in my hand into a little ball and stuffed it in my front pocket. I was about to greet them but Emmett spoke first.

"What is up my lady?!" He said lifting his hand up for a high five. I was surprised but didn't leave him hanging, I gave him a high five and heard Rosalie scowl under her breathe.

"Hello Emmett and Rosalie. It's a pleasure to meet you two. I'm Bella; your tour guide and this is Jasper, my assistant, and this is Esme, she basically runs everything in this University."

"Pleasure to meet you all." Esme said honestly and whole heartedly. Emmett flashed his charming huge smile in her direction. It was hard not to feel Esmes' kindness.

"Delighted." Rosalie said but her expression showed no signs of joy; she looked like an ancient Greek statue of perfection.

_Like the Venus de Milo. Oh speaking of Greek. _

"Is Edward with you two?" I asked trying to hide the curiosity in my voice and make it sound monotone. I failed.

"Nah. He never showed up at the hotel yesterday. I heard he's some super duper famous dude."

"You're pretty famous too." Jasper said moving a little closer. "USC's best quarterback." He chuckled. "It seriously is a pleasure." He extended his hand and they both shook each other. I compared biceps; I wasn't sure whose was bigger.

_Steroids? _I dismissed the thought, Jasper wouldn't do that.

"Oh! Jasper Gram! You're the guy on this crew team! I heard tons of stuff about you, featured on sports illustrated. Not a bad feat my friend, not a bad feat at all."

_First time I ever heard of that_, I flashed Jasper an angry stare.

"Wow, honored you've heard of me man." They broke their grasp. "You've broken dozens of records, you could coach anywhere in the world. Why Forks?" Jasper ignored my stare completely and became engrossed with Emmett's company.

Before he could answer rumbling that sounded like thunder came roaring all around us. We all looked through the glass doors to see a motorcycle coming closer. It was big, chunky and black. It looked like the kinds you see in action movies, I think my mouth hung open for a moment before I promptly closed it and clenched my jaw. The rider parked at the very front, in the handicap parking; the person was obviously NOT handicapped.

He swung his leg over the seat with such ease it seemed like a common move to him. He must have been riding bikes for a few years. He wore black jeans and a black leather jacket, and he looked good in both. I squinted to try to get a better view as he took off his black and silver helmet.

_Should have worn my glasses…_

He placed his helmet on the black leather seat of his bike and began to make his way towards us. He ran his hands through his semi spiky messy bronze hair, and flashed a crooked smile towards us that seemed more like a half hearted grin to me. He should have been in his early thirties but he looked like a college student. I felt old.

"Hell hello ladies and gentlemen." He said, his strong and powerful voice echoing as he entered inside. His voice was smooth like velvet. His beauty was enchanting. His build was much smaller than Jasper and Emmett's but it fit his frame perfectly. His walk was soundless and he just…._dazzled me_.

"Hello and welcome Edward." Esme was the first to speak. His half hearted grin turned into a polite smile and he bowed his head down towards her.

"Esme it's been too long. Have you and Carlisle married yet?" My mouth nearly fell as he stood half a foot away from us and asked such a blunt question. He went from dazzling to repulsive in 6 words.

Esme stuttered her response. "O-oh now Edward." She seemed to be searching for the right words, my hand shot up in front of his chest in attempt to save Esme from embarrassment.

"Hello my name is Bella. It's nice to meet you."

He seemed surprised by my action, and hesitated a moment before shaking my hand. "Pleased." He smiled; his eyes were a bright green like of the Amazon forests I'd seen in textbook pictures and I almost got lost in them. I noticed a ring of orange around his pupil.

_A sunset in a forest. _

But I remembered my manners and his lack of.

"This is Jasper, my assistant. He will be accompanying us on our tour and hopefully will be able to answer any questions I am unable to. And since Emmett has informed me you haven't acquainted yourself with them, this is Emmett; he will be our new football coach and this is Rosalie; she will be taking a few classes at our University this semester."

"And I'm Edward, just some writer." He said introducing himself to them, yet he never took his eyes off of me. "A stingy narrow minded self centered living in a box jackass of a writer." He clarified and his eyes were scrutinizing me. I was appalled by his words, even though they were technically mine. I felt like he had just slapped me, so I slapped back.

"Don't forget, with a mind that's incapable of registering anything that does not fit into an equation."

"Oh yes, how rude of me." His expression became utterly blank and frightened me.

Emmett let out a low whistle at our grand display of affection and I cleared my throat as I began to walk towards the exit with fake confidence. "Well let's get going. I thought we'd first see the science lab and libraries. We received a very generous donation a few years back, our libraries are just breathtaking. We can also check out the greenhouse if you're interested."

Everyone followed except Edward – he was exchanging words with Esme. I tried to ignore it. "And then we will see some lecture halls and classes, I'll show you the nice places to eat around here, and the gymnasium and football court."

"Arena." Emmett corrected me.

"Football arena." I said apologetically.

Jasper stepped in front of me and opened the door for everyone, except HIM. He was still talking to Esme. I wanted to growl, I didn't understand why it angered me so deeply that he was talking to her.

Esme deserved better company.

* * *

I hope you are enjoying my story so far! I'd love to hear your opinions. Thank you for reading it :)

/bows


	3. Not the end of the world

I continued walking and pointing out random things on the campus. I also gave them the important tid-bits that would make their transition to the Forks lifestyle smoother like best time to park and best time to set up classes. I also warned them about the importance of an umbrella several times.

Emmett asked a few questions, easy to answer and it sounded like he just wanted to give me a break from talking. He also did a lot of comparing and contrasting of Forks to Southern California. Rosalie made one comment and I heard a soft Italian accent in her voice this time. She said that Forks would make Emmett pale and he put his strong arm around her small shoulders and replied that they would match. She didn't shrug him off but he didn't keep his arm around her for long.

On the other side of campus and 2 hours later, Edward rejoined us. His jacket was slung over his shoulder, and he wore a tight black shirt that outlined every little muscle underneath. If I wasn't so angry with him I might have drooled over his perfect physic.

"Thank you for joining us Mr. Masen." I greeted him bitterly and he only replied with a half smirk. He seemed lost in his own thoughts.

We continued our walking expedition out of the campus; we had to take a trail through the campus park to get to the football stadium. It was breathtakingly beautiful, and if there was sunshine and a yellow brick road it might have looked like a scene from The Wizard of Oz.

"What do you do Miss. Swan?" Emmett asked breaking the silence.

"Oh call me Bella. I am an English professor here."

"What classes do you teach?" Asked the voice all the way in the back, I turned around to look at him but he was looking up at the trees. We seemed to be surrounded by forest; it reminded me of the metaphor I made about his eyes.

I looked straight ahead putting those thoughts out of my mind as I answered his question. "A level 200 novel class and a level 400 creative writing class."

"Sounds boring." Rosalie spoke to herself, her voice was so sweet like honey but her words stung like bees.

"Well I try to make the class as interesting as possible." I replied to Rosalie's comment.

"She does a pretty good job." Jasper said defending me. "Rarely an absence." He gave me a reassuring smile. I definitely liked Jasper and Emmett more than Rosalie and Edward.

I debated on whom I disliked more; Edward or Rosalie.

Emmett broke my pro and con list of each person. I think Rosalie was winning.

"What do you teach the kids?"

"Well in my novel class…they just finished reading Wuthering Heights and have a paper due. It's kind of a response paper or an analysis paper, they're free to do what they want – I just want proof that they're actually thinking. I was debating on assigning another type of paper with structure, but I haven't decided yet."

"Do they read in class?" Emmett asked honestly curious. I was stunned by his ignorance.

"No." I didn't add the "of course not" to spare his feelings. Emmett probably never took more than the required English 101 class for non majors. In English 101 you only learned how to write (bullshit) a proper college paper. "They do the reading on their own time. During class we mostly discuss the novel, and compare it to other novels and the class often breaks up into debates over a topic. It's very exciting."

"Bella always brings out the best in students." Jasper said and that brought the corners of my mouth up and I looked at him with gratefulness in my eyes.

"I never liked English class. I was always more interested in how the body worked, how to make it stronger, how to heal it faster – that kind of shit."

"What kind of sports were you into at….USC?" I asked as I fell back into step with Emmett.

I saw Rosalie slow down her pace from the corner of my eye. She didn't want to walk near me. I walked between Emmett and Jasper, Rosalie walked behind Emmett and Edward trailed at the very end slower than everyone.

"Oh all kinds." Emmett said. "It depended on my mood really. Football was anytime. Rugby was for celebrating. Basketball was to release stress. Volleyball was to impress others. Boxing was to get anger out. Running was to avoid my problems. Just kind of like…" He hesitated. "Like how girls always talk about their emotions, and I guess some guys do too… but I just dealt with life through sports."

"I know what you mean. I go running at night every time shit gets too hectic." Jasper agreed with him.

I never used physical activates as a way of releasing anything, except maybe a bone out of its socket.

"Yea, I love running till I can't breathe without gasping and when my legs become so tight that it burns like I'm on fire."

"I don't take it that far…" Jasper gave Emmett a strange look.

"Heh, well we all have our extremes." Emmett looked down at me. "What's one of your extremes?"

"Crossing the street is an extreme for her." Jasper said with a chuckle and was met with a slap in the arm from me.

"I am not good at sports or anything." I said giving Jasper the evil eye before turning my attention back to Emmett. "I'm actually a very boring person."

"Ahhh now don't say that. What do you do for fun?"

"Read."

"And?"

"Read some more."

"We'll have to change that." He said.

"Good luck to you." Jasper said sarcastically. I rolled my eyes and looked down slightly disappointed in my lifestyle. But it was a really comfortable lifestyle for me. I couldn't believe I felt slightly ashamed of it at that moment.

"Well you have to do something else besides read." Emmett sounded determined.

"Ummm….I grade and teach." I said wishing that I had left my hair down so I could hide my embarrassed face from them. "Oh, and I used to write."

"Used to?" The voice came from behind me filled with curiosity. Edward was listening to the conversation. I couldn't help but suddenly wonder why Edward had no Greek accent. Rosalie had a hint of Italian in her voice, but Edward sounded completely American.

Jasper changed the subject. "Oh, and by the way Emmett the fitness center has the most awesome boxing ring ever."

"For real?" Emmett sounded like a kid being told that the video game store was giving away free games.

Jasper went on to describe it, and I walked in silence until finally we neared the exit for the park and the huge football stadium stood in our view. I never realized how big it was and how expensive it must have been to build…

_We could have built at least 4 libraries and purchased a ton of books with the money that went into this thing…._

"Wow, it's no USC but it's pretty nice." Emmett said examining it with a look of approval.

Now it was Jaspers turn to lead, I fell behind a bit walking near Rosalie but not close enough that it looked like we were walking together. Emmett and Jasper walked side by side. Like husband and wife.

Jasper explained that another half mile away there was a huge lake where the crew time practice – rain or shine.

_I didn't know that… _

He pointed out the track, tennis courts, handball courts, and the huge gymnasium. Then he took us inside to see the fitness center. The equipment looked like a modern day version of medieval torture devices to me.

I heard Rosalie sigh as she wrapped her arms around herself. "Bored?" I asked her trying to make conversation, having decided I preferred her company over the man walking behind us.

Rosalie gave me a blank look and then looked away. It was silence between us the rest of the way. Jasper and Emmett bonded like brothers and I was just about to suggest leaving them in the gymnasium when Jaspers phone rang a familiar tune and he picked it up and after a few moments handed the phone to me. I grabbed it and walked a few feet away for some imaginary privacy.

"Hello?"

"BELLA! Oh my god! I just heard. Edward is there!?" It was Alice.

"Yes." I couldn't give her too many details since he was only 4 feet away from me.

"Does he know it's you? You threw SUCH a fit when you read that thing of his. I swear I begged you to go shopping with me to relieve the stress but noooo you just had to write that letter."

"Yea, funny how things work out."

"So he knows it's you?"

"Yes"

"Oh wow I can't believe that. I checked out his pictures online, he is a hottie. Mmm mmm mmm. No Jasper though of course."

"Of course." I rolled my eyes.

"Let's go out to dinner tonight!"

"Sure." Having dinner with Alice and Jasper was a way better plan than having dinner with any of my new 'friends'.

"Great, what time does your class end today, six?"

"Seven."

"I'll be there!" She squealed and hung up on me. I looked at Jasper, and from his expression Alice had already told him that we were having dinner. I bet he wanted to spend some time with his new glued-to-the-hip brother Emmett than listen to Alice and me rant about girl-stuff.

I handed Jasper his phone and he opened it to check the time and then placed it back in his pocket.

"Well we should start heading back. You guys have a lunch meeting." I heard Rosalie sigh again and thought I saw from my peripheral vision Emmett whisper something to her and for a second it seemed her expression softened. But it could have been the light playing tricks on me. The sun was begging to be free of the clouds.

We all turned around to walk back to the park. Our time was passed by eavesdropping on Emmett and Jasper. They were exchanging sports and drunken stories. I had no idea Jasper was such a partier or sports fiend. He hit me as the coy intellectual type that always followed the rules. I made a mental note to interrogate him afterwards.

Jasper and I dropped them off at the schools café on the third floor of the science building. Emmett was the only one who said goodbye, and even gave me a big bear hug. Rosalie kept her distance, and Edwards' eyes looked everywhere but towards me.

Jasper and I didn't speak till we left the building.

"They're pretty cool people. Plus Edward and you behaved very civilized. I think that deserves a gold star" Jasper commented as he held the door open for me.

"I can't believe you never told me about any of that!" I was frustrated and wanted him to know before I'd forget to be angry at him. It was hard to stay angry at Jasper; his presence was just too comforting and calming most of the time.

"Yes because I'd want to tell you about how I got so high that I went skinny dipping with 3 foreign exchange girls from France."

"I can't believe you even did that!"

"It was pre-Alice." He said stern voice, making sure I got the point that he would never ever even think of doing anything that would cause disappointment from Alice.

"Does she know?"

"She knows everything."

My eyebrow twitched. I felt so out of the loop so I changed the subject.

"What time is it?"

"12:20."

"God, this is when I'd be waking up."

"Hungry?"

"Yes." And we both walked towards the Dining Hall in the second red brick building for some cheap student style food.

We arrived in the cafeteria and went to the sandwich and wrap section. We stood in line and Jasper grabbed himself a sports drink and a bottle of water for me from the refrigerator.

"Do you like them?" I asked as we moved up a couple of steps in the line. He knew who I was referring to when I said 'them'.

"Em's cool." He said handing me my bottle of water. "Rose is…I don't know. Her outside appearance is obviously remarkably stunning but she's just so bitter."

"And vain." I added.

"And vain." He added.

"What about Edward?" I asked turning around, not wanting to face him when he replied.

"I don't know – that depends on you."

The lady behind the counter asked me for my order.

"Turkey wrap with lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers and blue cheese sauce." I turned around to Jasper with my eyebrow raised. "Depends on me?"

"Yes."

The lady asked for his order. "I'll have the chicken salad sandwich with extra pickles and a plan bagel toasted with cream cheese."

I waited for his response, when he didn't say anything I asked him what he meant by saying that.

"I can't like someone you hate, and I can't hate someone you like." He replied simply.

"Do I like him?"

"You tell me."

"There you go ma'am." The lady behind the counter handed me my wrap wrapped in foil and I thanked her.

"Do you think that maybe I was too cold to him?" I asked Jasper seriously concerned as we moved up further in the line.

"Maybe." He said grabbing a bag of chips from one of the counter stands.

"I was…wasn't I? I mean he was probably just being defensive to my bitchyness."

"Maybe."

"I don't want him to hate me."

"Do you hate him?" Jasper asked as the lady handed him 2 of his items wrapped in foil and he thanked her.

"No of course not. I just hate his way of thinking. He's such a privileged jerk and he acts like the world he lives in is a poetic rendition of hell."

"Maybe…you should try to walk a mile in his shoes before you judge." Jasper spoke slowly as we finally made it to the cashier.

"That will be 4.65 ma'am." She said pressing numbers to on the register pad.

"This is all together." Jasper replied pushing his items closer to mine.

"Total is 15.33." The lady said and Jasper paid with his credit card.

"Thanks Jazz." I said as we walked off the line.

"That's for me having to leave you. I have a Calculus exam in 30 minutes and I missed practice and two classes already. I don't want to fall behind in everything."

"No problem." I said lying; I really hated eating alone in public places. "Have fun in class!"

"I'll see you later." Jasper said waving at me as he walked off to class.

I found a table for two with no one else there and sat down to eat my sandwich. I could have gone to my office to eat alone but I was absolutely starving and walking and eating was like asking for another broken bone. I opened my wrap and took a bite out of it. It was heavenly. I reminded myself to get blue cheese dressing next grocery trip.

"Wow you're dressed up." I looked up at Jessica walking towards me.

She was an accountant professor, and we had both met each other through her younger sister Angela. Angela was one of my students in both my novel and creative writing class. I liked Angela more. She never fucked my ex boyfriend.

Jessica had black curly hair that she wore in two pig tails. She usually wore low revealing tops, and short skirts even in weather that required Eskimo jackets. She looked like a sorority girl more than a teacher most of the time. I heard rumors that she was dating Mike Newton for real now. I wasn't sure since I rarely interacted with Jessica anymore, we didn't click on anything. But apparently she didn't have anyone else to sit next to and the fact that she was the cause to a broken relationship didn't bother her at all. If anything Jessica had more balls than most of the men I've met.

"You look disturbed." She commented as she sat next to me. I wished Jasper never left me.

"I just didn't sleep much." I said sourly. I hadn't spoken to her in nearly a year and a half and pretending like she never existed worked well for me. Till now, because she was talking to me and I had to accept the fact that she DID exist during the conversation.

"I don't see the point of having all afternoon and evening class." She said and I didn't respond but took a bite out of my turkey with blue cheese wrap.

"Soooo, guess what I heard?"

My left eyebrow raised in question. I wished I had Cyclopes from X men super power at that moment. Burn two holes right through that head of hers that held nothing but Botox and make up.

"That you were giving Edward Masen a tour of our school!"

I nodded and took another bite, chewing slowly. How could she not tell that I didn't like her? How dense could you possibly be? I wondered if holding a sign that said, "I DON'T LIKE YOU" would have any effect on this conversation. I chuckled at the thought.

"Oh my god, he is such a hottie. I saw a few advertisements he did. Apparently Channel loves him half naked! And he did some D&G adds too! He is so fine." She smacked her lips together as she tossed a grape from her salad in her mouth.

I took another bite before I finished chewing what was in my mouth; my chewing was slow and hard. I was annoyed. Jessica didn't care for my silence, she continued talking. She would have probably talked to herself if it wouldn't classify her as insane. Her extreme activity had to be exercising her mouth…

"I heard that he was going to be doing some research here and even teaching a class! Oh baby, sign me up for that. He is so successful. And so rich. Not as rich as that Volly lady who came. Jeez what was her name?" Jessica only paused for a moment before deciding it didn't matter. "Anyway, I'm sure he's very experienced and –"

I nearly choked on my food, and forced myself to drink it down with water as I heard what Jessica was thinking. I was so repulsed by her vulgarity.

"Hmmm, do you think he likes it shaved or not? He did spend a lot of time in Europe." She had such a serious expression like someone contemplating world domination.

That was it.

I cleared my throat. "Listen Jessica, you want to fuck his brains out, go for it. Leave me out of it." I said grabbing my half eaten wrap and water bottle as I walked off. I was so angry at Jessica; I wasn't in the mood to hear about anyone wanting to screw Edward.

He was a narrow minded egotistical asshole. End of story. I wouldn't even want him to occupy his time with my enemies.

I walked outside, breathing in the fresh air. It was cold. I decided that I would go to my office and grade some papers or something. I couldn't wait for the day to be over so I could go back to my usual schedule of life. My days have been the same for the past 4 years; going to bed at 5 A.M reading, waking up at noon, eating lunch by myself, teaching novel class, volunteering in the library, and teaching creative writing class before returning home for dinner and a good book. There was no interaction with Jessica the skank, Mike the sexist pig, and when things got back to normal there wouldn't be any interaction with Edward the jackass or Rosalie the spoiled better than everyone else brat.

I moaned as a cold breeze hit me and made me shiver, I rubbed my hands together. I wished I brought a jacket with me because the silk shirt did little to keeping me warm. I rushed quickly towards the fourth red brick building and rushed up the stairs to the fourth floor. I tripped only twice and once dropped my water bottle. The little exercise got my heart pumping and warmed me up. I walked into my office, room 412. The class where I taught, room 450, was being occupied by another class till 2:50.

I unlocked the door and opened it. It was a simple room, only a little bigger than a corporate cubical. I had a white plastic desk that had 2 metal paper baskets, along with my planner, books, and folder placed on top neatly by Jasper no doubt, 2 black chairs, a Filling cabinet in a corner and a closet. The desk was pushed up against the wall so students who came into my office would sit next to me instead of across from me. I had no idea why, but I found it rude and uncomfortable when I had to sit across from a desk to speak to a teacher or receive help.

I closed the door behind me and opened one of my side desk drawers and put my half eaten wrap and bottled water on top of some books that were stacked in there. Then I went over to my closet door and opened it. It squeaked worse than my bathroom door. I had an emergency umbrella, an oversized sweatshirt and a pair of jeans on the hangers just in case. This was a perfect example of a just in case moment.

I quickly changed out of my Alice stamped clothes into something more comfortable. I had dressed professionally my first year and a half of teaching, and that was enough discomfort to last me my whole life. The students took me seriously no matter how I looked – I knew my stuff and the kids respected me and the other professors… well I didn't actually talk to any of them to know how they felt about me. Ratemyteacherdotcom proved that I was a good teacher, although I had a few too many "hot" remarks for my taste... But at least it told me I wasn't utterly hopeless in the looks department.

I hugged myself tightly, trying to warm up my sweater. It was a gray wool knitted Forks University sweater that I got when hosting an orientation last year. At least THAT event happened in the afternoon where I was a functioning human being and wasn't surrounded by vile people.

I sat in my chair and folded my legs; I probably looked like a kid. I opened the red folder Jasper left and found sticky notes marking each side. The right side had my syllabus and class lecture notes, while the left had papers handed in by students. I took out the papers from the left pocket and placed them into the basket on my right. Then I opened the center drawer of my desk and got out a purple pen. Red was so over rated. I clicked it and placed it in my mouth, for some reason I worked best with an item in my mouth.

I grabbed the top paper from the basket and began to read it. It was written by a student named Jacob Black, it was a short story, 65 pages, about a car accident using first person narration. He portrayed a drunk driver reliving past events and barely paying attention to the road, and then switched to the point of view of the 'victim' which was a female driver with her boyfriend in the passenger seat. The couple was in an argument, and Jacob often jumped from the girl and boys perspective, describing the different feelings experienced from both. It was very good, and I stopped looking for grammar and spelling mistakes after the first 10 pages and began to just feel the story.

It ended with an obvious crash, but it was the girlfriends fault not the drunk driver. The last section of narration was in third person and it turned out to be a newspaper report of the accident. Nearly every fact in the fictional newspaper article was a contradiction of what actually happened. It was very interesting. I quickly gave him an A and made a few encouraging comments and my only sign of negative criticism was that he made the drunk driver into a much flatter character than the couple.

I opened my grading book and turned to the Creative Writing section and looked down for Jacob's name and placed an A in the appropriate box. He also received an A for his two previous works. The boy had talent.

I opened to the last page of his paper once more and under my comments and grade I put, "Please see me during my office hours." And signed my name with my messy handwriting. I found it funny how science professors had better hand writing than English professors, and foreign language professors had worse hand writing than English professors. And math teachers had the best hand writing out of everyone.

I placed Jacobs's paper into the empty metal basket on the left and picked the next paper from the other basket. It was by a student named Jon Pena. I glanced at his cover page it was called, "Off Broadway", and before I could flip towards the first page of actual text there was a knock at my door. I looked up at the clock above my desk; it was only 2:05, so I knew I wasn't late to class.

"Come in." I said turning my chair to face the door. Angela walked in with a cup of coffee in her hand, and a copy Wuthering Heights and A Tale of Two Cities in the other. I smiled at her and patted the chair next to me; she smiled back and said, "good afternoon" as she sat next to me. The door closed with a soft thud.

She was a tall skinny girl, taller than average but shorter than a runway model. She had on a soft pink sweater and light blue jeans. All Pixie stamped probably. She was a simple girl and we got along well. It was hard to imagine that she was 8 years younger than me. But she was smart, she had skipped two grades of junior high school and I remembered Jessica telling me that she got accepted to a handful of excellent schools that even offered her scholarships. I had a lot of respect for Angela, she choose to remain at Forks to help take care of her two younger brothers since their parents passed away 4 years ago. Jessica never even mentioned her younger brothers from back when we did talk to one another.

She handed me the coffee, I took it without complaining, and if it hadn't been for Jacob's interesting story I would have been passed out at my desk.

"Esme said you had been up since 8." She said explaining her kind gesture but I was still grateful. "I know you hate coffee, so it's mostly milk."

"Thank you" I smiled taking a sip, I could taste the coffee but not enough to stop me from drinking more. It was like hot milk in coffee flavor.

"Yea I had to show around some new kids." I explained my early rise.

_They weren't really kids…_

"I heard. I actually met Mr. Masen an hour ago." She said softly. Her soft brown eyes avoided mine during that statement.

"Oh? What do you think of him?" I stared into her pale slightly freckled face.

"He's very….handsome. And very polite."

I muttered a profanity or two under my breath.

"You don't like him?" She asked.

"We don't get along." I said simply, and her face turned to shock. "What?" I asked not understanding her response.

"Wow, I certainly thought you two…well. I mean." She paused and I waited her response by sipping my milk with coffee. She was much better with words when a pen and paper were involved.

"He just seemed to look up to you." She finally spat out.

It was my turn to hold the shocked expression.

"What?" I asked dumbly.

"I bumped into him at the library and we just started talking. And he said what a wonderful and inspiring writer you are and…" She trailed off. I got the picture, but the picture was fiction in my head. Even though I knew that Angela wouldn't lie; her story was too farfetched for me.

I was silent, and she stared at me for a response, when I didn't give one she changed the subject.

"I came to ask you about the paper."

"Oh?"

"For Novel." She clarified.

"What about it?"

"Do we have a topic for it? The due dates next week and I'm at a loss on what to write."

"I was thinking about changing the paper due date and assigning another project. Don't worry about it."

"Are you okay? You look ill." She was honestly concerned.

"Lack of sleep."

Once more she knew better than to push the subject.

"I met a boy." She said, her cheeks flushed red.

I gave her a big smile, I was happy for her. "Oh, do tell!" I said leaning forward to show her that I was really interested. Angela didn't have many friends and spent most of her time playing mommy for her brothers. Without Alice's financial support, I had no idea how they would have managed since Jessica didn't even consider herself partially responsible for her family.

She smiled and said, "Well, his names Ben. He's in my philosophy class. He's a bit shorter than me."

I rolled my eyes as she paused waiting for my reassurance which said that I didn't think height mattered.

"Well he's really creative. And so nice. He likes comic books and old movies. And he is a psychology major, he's also in the martial arts club!"

_We had a martial arts club? _

"Oh, and he loves animals. He volunteers at the animal shelter."

_We have an animal shelter? _

"But sadly I never spoke to him." Her face fell a little and her tone became sad.

"Oh? Why not?"

"He wouldn't be into me." She sounded hopeless.

"What philosophy class?"

"Modern Philosophy 202."

I made a mental note to myself.

"If you like him you should make an effort to talk to him. I mean honestly Angela, you and Esme are two of the most honest good people left on the planet and BOTH of you refuse to make a move. Seriously I should write a book on you two and call it 'hopeless romance'." My words stung her a bit, and I quickly continued hoping to sugar coat myself a bit. "If he doesn't return the feelings at least you'd keep him as a friend. But he'd have to be downright stupid not to be into you. You can't control your heart, and it's hopeless to try. It doesn't matter if he's so different or if he's short or if he has a beak and webbed feet. If you like him then let him know you exist."

"So much easier said than done." Angel whispered.

I made another mental note to myself as I placed the coffee on the desk.

Another knock came to my door.

"It's open." I said and in came Jasper. I wonder if he was eavesdropping outside the door.

Angela and Jasper greeted each other. All of a sudden Angela had the look of someone who just remembered something vitally important.

"Alice asked me to tell you hello and she misses you, and that she laid out your clothes for tonight on the sofa." Angela told Jasper as he walked over behind me and sat on the edge of the desk.

"Thanks Angy."

"Oh and that reminds me." She looked at me. "She also wanted me to tell you she broke into your home and you made her cry."

"What?" I wasn't following Angela.

"She said she took a look at your closet and nearly committed suicide."

"Stupid pixie." I muttered under my breathe and Jasper kicked the back of my chair softly.

"She said she threw out all your clothes."

"WHAT?!" I was angry. Angela nearly leaped out of her seat hearing me scream.

"Don't worry she replaced all of them." Angela said trying to comfort me. I slammed my forehead on the table. This day was officially the worst day of my life. It could not get any worse.

"I need vodka." I said as a newly formed headache made itself known to me. All I needed cramps and my period and life would be perfectly miserable in every way.

Angela gave a soft giggle. "I like Alice's clothes."

Of course she did. She was one of Alice's main manikin/model to use when designing clothes. That's how Angela made enough money to support her family. Her younger brothers were used as models for Alice's upcoming children's line.

Jasper petted my head like I was a dog.

"Relax. It's not the end of the world. Alice raids my closet all the time."

"But you're getting some." I groaned.

"You want Alice to give you some?"

I moaned in frustration and lifted my head from my desk. "I want today to be over, that's what I want."

"I'm going to get going to class." Angela said getting up, I looked at the clock, it was 2:32. Angela was always early to class, and she made sure our friendship wasn't publicly known so it wouldn't cause either of us problems.

"See you in class."

"Bye Bella, Jasper." She bowed her head a little and walked out and closed the door quietly behind her.

"Kill me." I turned my chair to face Jasper.

"Oh come on. Today's not that bad of a day."

"You're right. Getting 2 hours of sleep, dealing with a jackass who is rude to me but acts like he adores me in front of other people, dealing with miss prissy panties-in-a-twist rich girl, having to TALK to Jessica, no wait that's not right. Having to listen to Jessica tell me her sexual fantasies and losing all my clothes is a GREAT day!"

It looked like Jasper was contemplating telling me something. I knew that look far too well.

"Just spill it."

"Better not." He said, "I'd rather have you kill me later."

I could not think of anything that would make this day worse. "Here." I handed him the paper I was about to grade. He began reading it and I grabbed another paper from the basket. I couldn't actually register any of the words I was reading. For some reason Edward wouldn't leave my mind. I was devastatingly concerned on how he viewed me. I wondered if he thought I hated him or if he hated me. I didn't understand why it was bothering me to such an extreme. I felt like pulling my hair out of anxiety.

I wanted things to be okay. I didn't want anymore enemies and I didn't want high school drama creeping into my adult life. I wanted civilized relationships and no worries. I turned to Jasper; he was nearly half way done with the Broadway story while I was only on the second page of…something. I forgot what it was called. I wasn't sure I actually even read the title.

"Hey Jaspy."

He stopped reading and looked at me.

"I was thinking about what you said."

"Oh?"

"Well he has to give lectures right? If he's not a full time professor right. I mean that's how it goes I think."

"Yea, a lecture a month." He said.

"Yea. So see. If I sit in for one of his lectures it will show him that I'm open minded." I said proudly.

"And cover up the fact that you're stubbornly set in your own ways." Jasper responded.

"Come on. I mean it will show a truce between the two of us. That I respect his way of thinking and I can act civil when in the presence of someone who is undoubtedly wrong."

"When you don't have a pen and paper in your hand." Jasper teased about the letter.

"I won't take notes." I said mockingly. "I really think it's the adult thing to do." I really did.

Jasper turned his attention back to the paper he was reading as he mumbled, "mm hmm".

"I mean, really; he can't hate me if I make an effort."

"Hmm."

"Really. I think it's very genius of me."

"Mmm hmmmmmm."

"Honestly Jasper. I'm being serious."

"Mmm hmmm."

"You suck."

"Wow, what an adult thing to say." He teased.

I stuck my tongue out at him to prove his point.

"And you teach our future generations. I hope none of your students run for president." He said sarcastically. That hurt my feelings a little.

"I don't like you very much right now."

"I'm sorry. I went too far."

"You okay?" I wondered if something was bothering him.

"Fine."

That was the biggest lie in history. Fine does not mean fine, no matter the dictionary definition of the word fine. Fine is a lie. I was about to interrogate him with questions….

"Get to class, I'll grade some papers." He said getting up off my desk.

I allowed him to get away with avoiding confrontation. "Oh read that paper" I pointed to the one I graded earlier, "it's by some kid with a lot of talent. I want to meet with him later."

Jasper nodded to me and I grabbed my planner, book, and folder with me as I stood and walked out the door.

"Head up Bella. It's not the end of the world today."

I didn't notice I was looking down.

"I know it's not. After all, it's tomorrow in Australia already." I said flashing him a smirk as I left my office in his hands.

I walked to class slowly. I could have cut through the middle but I decided to take the long way around. I didn't want to have any spare time before class began. Most of the kids were wandering the halls, either to or from class; many waved and smiled greeting me with "Hey Professor Swan!" I was easily liked by other students. And I felt so much comfier walking in my new outfit.

I entered class without looking at the students and made my way to the podium placing my items on top. I opened the planner and flipped to today's date. Today we were supposed to talk about Heathcliff character in depth. I was supposed to guide some of them to the conclusion that he was pure evil, and hope that the other students disagreed so it would lead to a debate.

I looked up from my podium; most of the kids were seated mumbling to one another. Angela sat in front….next to Edward.

_EDWARD?! _

* * *

Hehehehehhehee :D I'm having a lot of fun writing this

I actually had a Novel class in college and we discussed Wuthering Heights so not all of this is complete fiction. The way Bella teaches is very similar to how my professor did.


	4. Edward, pure evil, hatred

He stared at me.

I was angry. I was mortified. I was frustrated. I was surprised.

He was sitting in MY class. What the hell?! Was he mocking me? I couldn't understand his reasoning as I stared at him in disbelief. Why would he do this to me? Was it my punishment for the stupid letter? Why couldn't he just let it go?

Did he plan to patronize me in front of my students? I grinded my teeth. I was suddenly nervous. I had never been nervous as a teacher. I was always prepared but suddenly the lesson plan for today escaped my mind as I watched the sunset in his eyes.

I quickly broke our stare and looked back down at my planner.

_Heathcliff, pure evil, hatred. _

_Heathcliff, pure evil, hatred. _

_Heathcliff, pure evil, hatred. _

_Heathcliff, pure evil, hatred. _

_Heathcliff, pure evil, hatred. _

I cleared my throat; everyone's attention was directed at me. I looked at Edward and he smirked. "I'm sorry Mr. Masen but only students registered for this class are permitted to attend." My voice was filled with authority, I was proud of myself.

"Well Mister Laurent had suggested that it would be a good experience for me to sit in some classes."

I mentally cursed Laurent to the deep fires of hell, but I couldn't argue with him, he was the school's president and could fire me. I was sure Edwards's popularity exceeded mine tenfold.

_That sick twisted cruel bastard. _

I didn't know if that was directed souly at Laurent or at Edward as well.

"Well if Mister Laurent had suggested that, maybe it would be in your best interest to sit in a class that is more related to your field of study."

_Like a history class on the massacres of the French Revolution. Or the history of torture. Or a class on negative thinking…_

"Well; 'fiction is the base of all great ideas'." He said with a smirk. He just quoted one of my published papers.

_MY PAPER. _

I bit my lip so hard I nearly winced in pain.

"Very well, Mr. Masen it's a pleasure for you to join us." My voice had lost all of its authority.

"Call me Edward."

"Mr. Masen." I stared at him with what I hoped was a blank and unaffected expression, but I knew I wore my feelings on my face. And I was feeling annoyed and vulnerable.

A student raised their hand and my eyes left the picture perfect face that belonged to Edward Masen.

"Yes James." I called on him.

"I have a question about the paper."

I lifted my hand asking him to pause. "I will clear up the paper momentarily. But first I have an honest question, who actually started writing the paper already?"

No one raised their hand.

_Figures…_

"So since no one actually began to write the paper, this change will not inconvenience anyone. I will be moving the due date to February 2nd."

I made a note of that in my planner as the students did too.

"But because of this extra week, I have another assignment due in place of it." Then came the moans and groans from the students.

"Oh hush now." I said teasingly, making sure my eyes never made contact with Edward. I felt his eyes burn a hole through me.

"I'll announce the assignment before class ends it will be due Friday. Any questions so far?"

None.

"So," I grabbed my copy of the book from the podium and moved to the front of the class, "tell me your opinions."

It took a moment for someone to speak.

Kiran, a girl sitting in the middle spoke first; she was usually the first to speak. She was one of those outspoken in your face types. I loved her attitude. She was a leader, not a follower.

"The ending sucked."

"How so?" I asked.

Another student answered, Gary; he was on the track team."It's like she made us feel miserable throughout the story and then tied it up with a pretty bow."

"Yea." Another student, Carry-Anne who was a reporter for the school paper, agreed. "It's like giving herpes as a present."

"Herpes?" Max, a German business major, asked.

"Yea, you have sex…its enjoyable…that's the bow. But you get herpes. That's the present." Carry-Anne clarified.

A few students laughed, and I giggled a bit at her description.

"What do you think of Heathcliffs character?" I asked.

"I liked him in the beginning." Angela spoke.

"What made your feelings change?" I asked.

"At first you sympathized with him, but then he just became so cruel and cold that it was hard to look at him as the good guy." I nodded at her, understanding her point of view.

Kiran spoke again, "I liked him more and more as the story went on. Like what crazy fucked up shit will he do next." I had no problem with vile language in my class, I just rarely used it. "I mean the guys crazy! He's insane. But he's so passionate. Like that extreme desire stuff we talked about."

"He loved Cathy so much." Rin spoke, she worked part time at my favorite grocery store. "It's not fair what happened."

"Life's not fair." Max said.

"Women do that." James commented.

"Like life would be fair without woman." Kiran said rolling her eyes.

I spoke again, making sure they stayed on track. "What kind of love did he have for Catharine?"

"True love!" Answered Samantha, she was usually the one who lived in the fantasy world of perfection and she was a French major.

"That's not true love. That's psycho lust." Gary spoke again.

"No, it was infatuation." Kiran said.

"It's hard to say what it is because we don't know the base of their love. I mean what made them side together." Alexander spoke, he was a marine biologist major and got me a Fighting Fish for new years – it died in a day.

"It doesn't matter what their base was. It wasn't strong enough." Carry-Anne said.

"Money beats love any day." Max spoke bitterly.

"For woman." Gary said, and the rest of the men in the room nodded in agreeance.

"That's not true. There are plenty of girls out there that don't care for money." Samantha said.

"No woman like that exists." Tom, a member of the school gymnastics team said.

"Sure, my lady doesn't care for gifts much." Richard, a music major said.

"That's because she doesn't exist." Carry-Anne joked. Richard flipped her the birdie.

Again, I brought them back to the topic at hand. "What do you think was the most powerful characteristic of Heathcliff?"

"Love." Samantha answered immediately.

"Insanity." Gary said.

"Revenge." Carry-Anne said leaning back in her chair, obviously assuming her answer was the best one.

"What else?" I asked hoping someone would get to hatred. I hated giving it away because then everyone felt like they had to agree with me.

"Vanity." Alex said.

"Disappointment." Kiran said.

I rephrased my question, "What do you think drove Heathcliff to do what he did?"

"Resentment." Rin said.

"Hatred." Edward spoke. I looked at him, he wasn't supposed to participate, and clenched my jaw angrily.

"Yea he's right." Max agreed. "He hated everyone so badly."

"But he loved Catharine more than he hated anyone." Alex said.

"He hates everyone because everyone hated him first." Richard said.

"Everyone only hates him because he's gypsy looking." Samantha said.

"No, everyone hates him because he's evil." Kiran said.

"He wasn't evil until Linton treated him like crap." Gary said.

"Linton was the first person Heathcliff hated." Max said.

"No, it was Catharine's brother." Rin disagreed.

"What did his hatred do to him?" I asked.

Now the debate was going in the direction I wanted. It continued for another 20 minutes with many good ideas flying out of everyone's mouths. Edward didn't speak again after that.

After it seemed that everyone exhausted all decent ideas worth mentioning, I called attention to the class.

"Good job everyone. The main thing that everyone noticed is how easily this story can relate to anyone. Your new assignment will be to write a story – real please, about how your actions in a certain event relate to Heathcliffs'."

Alex raised her hand.

"Yes?"

"Does it have to be a single event?"

"It can be anything you want. It could be a single event or a number of events leading up to a certain scene, or a certain time that you acted Heathcliffianish. If everyone does a good job, I'll cancel the next paper. Also don't forget to get started on the next novel. Any questions?"

Kiran raised her hand. "When is it due?"

"Friday, wait no. Make it Monday. Put some effort into it. Any other questions?"

No one raised their hand or said anything.

"Okay, class dismissed. I'll see everyone Friday." I said returning back to my podium, writing in my planner the topic of the new paper. Everyone walked out of the class saying goodbye to me.

I looked up when I was done expecting to see an empty class but Edward was sitting in the same seat, not having moved an inch. He looked like a statue.

I didn't say anything as he stared at me. I wished I could have read his expression but the second my eyes met his, I felt my cheeks heat up. I looked away and stacked my items up, and left the class without saying anything. He infuriated me.

I took the short cut back to my office, for some reason I felt light headed and my heart rushed at a hundred beats a second. I reassured myself it as a reaction to my passionate dislike of Edward and the uncomfortable position he placed me in by sitting in for my class. I opened my office door to find Jasper with a red pen in hand marking up a paper. He looked up and smiled, then his face dropped as soon as he saw me. I placed my material on the desk and with a huff and puff sat in the chair next to him with a pout on my face and my arms crossed. I must have looked ridiculous.

Jasper opened his mouth to say something but I cut him off.

"I hate him!" I shouted.

"Who?"

"You know who!"

By Jasper's expression…he really had no idea who.

"E-d-w-a-r-d." I said sounding out every single letter of his name. Then I just let the rage pour out. "Edward fucking Malen!"

"What? Why?" With Jasper's reaction I knew he had no knowledge of Edward planning to sit in for my class.

"He sat in for MY class!"

"You just planned to sit in for his lecture." He pointed out.

"That's different" I stood up on my feet and did circles around my room.

"Really?" Jasper said, his eyes following me with a gaze of worry.

"Yes! He patronized me! He judged me!" I screamed, I felt my eyes blur, tears were threatening to pour out at my angry state of mind.

"You judged him first." Jasper reminded me. I ignored him.

"His eyes burned through the very essence of my soul!"

"Okay Shakespeare." Jasper said putting the pen down and raising to his feet.

"How could he have the gall to do that to me?!" I took a deep breathe trying to compose myself and then continued on my rant. "Why couldn't he just tear up that god damn letter and just pretend some crazy ass psycho wrote it."

"You are acting very psycho at the moment." I continued ignoring him as I paced with my arms folding tightly against my chest.

"Instead he has to come here to ruin my damn life!" I really was sounding paranoid, and crazy.

"You don't really have much of a life to ruin."

"EXCUSE ME!" I stopped in my steps, I was so angry that Jasper was not taking my side.

Jasper stood in front of my and put his hands on my shoulders. "Bella breathe. Just breathe."

Waves of relaxation coursed through me and my heart rate went down to a controllable beat and my breathing regulated itself.

"He's more evilier than Heathcliff." I said pouting.

"I'll call Webster and ask them to add Edwards picture next to the definition of evil."

"Why can't he leave me alone?" I asked looking up at Jasper, tears were spilling out from my eyes. I was crying like a 3 year old.

"You didn't plan to leave him alone." Jasper reminded me, and before I could respond his phone rang in a ring-tone I never heard before. He took his cell from his pocket and turned his back to me and walked two steps away as he answered it.

"Yea, hey."

"Okay"

"I can't tonight."

"Let's do it next week."

"Yea, don't worry about it."

"Me too. Bye."

During that conversation I had used the sleeve of my sweatshirt to dry my eyes. I felt incredibly immature for crying in front of Jasper. I was supposed to be the older more mature out of the two yet I behaved like a kid who just got thrown off the monkey bars by another kid. I just had never felt that way before, and could not even make sense of my emotions.

He shut his phone off and put it back in his pocket and turned around to me.

"Who was that?" I asked.

"Nobody." He answered

"You're lying to me."

_Two lies in one day. _

"Drop it Bella."

I didn't want the topic to return to me because I feared my eyes would turn into water works again. I wanted to forget my mini display of insanity. On a NORMAL day nothing like this would have ever happened...

"How do the papers look?" I asked and we both returned to our seats and he handed me a purple pen.

"Good, I went over some of them. I liked the Broadway one it was hilarious. There's one about a business man that put me to sleep."

"I assigned another paper in place of the other one for Novel class." I told Jasper as I grabbed an ungraded paper from one of my Creative Writing students.

"What is it on?" Jasper asked.

"Relating a real life moment or event to Heathcliff."

"That should be interesting. Half of them will lie."

"And the other half wont."

"Which half will have the better story?"

"The lying side of course. The truth is boring." I said smirking.

We went back to grading papers in silence.

Two papers later for me, and five for Jasper it was time for my next class. Creative Writing went by smoothly. Edward wasn't there.

I reminded the class that Friday was the last day they could hand in their paper and no late works would be accepted. I dismissed them 5 minutes early. I hurried out of the room knowing that Alice and Jasper were always 10 minutes early and I hated to keep them waiting.

I walked out the front door of the building to see Jasper with Alice in hand waiting. He was wearing a silk collared shirt tucked into black slacks along with his black leather shoes. All Pixie stamped no doubt. His hair was slicked back and his expression was slightly nervous. Alice was tapping her pointy little red shoe to the ground impatiently as I walked towards them. She wore a simple tight strapless red dress that reached her knees. Around her neck she had a single star shaped diamond necklace and matching earrings that Jasper got her for their anniversary. Her arms were folded across her chest and I couldn't tell if it was from the cold or from anger.

I opened my mouth to greet them but Alice beat me to the punch and then some.

"Hello Bella." Her eyes flared with anger. "Thank you for letting your best friend know what kind of life you've been living. How could you not tell me how naked for clothes you were! I mean come on! There was like 10 items in your closet! 10! How could you do that to me!?" She seriously sounded heartbroken. I had no idea how to comfort her.

_How do you comfort someone who's hurt by your sense of style…._

"Bella! I worry for you! And to find out you live like that…oh, what a bad friend I have been!" I thought she was about to burst into tears.

"Please Alice calm down, thank you for showing me the error of my ways." There was just a hint of sarcasm. "I am very grateful that you took it upon yourself to throw out all my possessions and replace them with Pixie stamps." Now that overflowed with sarcasm.

Alice made a humph noise, but her expression proved that I was forgiven. We began to walk towards my apartment arms intertwined. Jasper was silent as Alice hummed a silly tune.

"Well come on now. We have to get you dressed. They're meeting us in the restaurant." Alice said adding a little skip in her step.

"They?" I asked.

"Emmett, Rosalie, and Edward. Oh Jasper you did tell her didn't you?" She turned to look up at Jasper.

My face froze into a horrified expression.

"I told you that you'd hate me." Jasper said to me.

Alice turned her attention back to me. "Oh dear. You look sick."

I used that to my advantage. "I think I am getting something. Maybe I shouldn't come. You guys go on without me. I'll just go home, and get some hot tea in my system and go to bed early."

"Oh, I knew you'd do this." Alice said giving me a disapproving expression. "So…dead cat."

"What?" I raised my eyebrow at her as we crossed the dark empty street.

"You killed my cat."

"What? When?" Then I realized what she was talking about. "That was like in second grade!"

"You killed my cat." She repeated herself.

"It committed suicide!"

"Cat's don't commit suicide."

"Yours did!" I was shouting. I really didn't want to go to dinner.

"You killed it. And I'll never forgive you unless you go to dinner with us." She smirked.

"No."

"You heartless murder." A tear streamed down her face, she was one hell of an actress. Jasper held her close to him. I couldn't stand to see her sad face.

"I don't want to."

"You killed my cat."

I cursed at her silently and whispered, "fine." I wondered how many other pieces of blackmail Alice had up her sleeve.

"Yay! So I picked out this lovely blue dress. You'll look fabulous in it! Its cotton, but there's a silk one too if you want."

I rolled my eyes. "I plan for my life to go back to normal by midnight tonight."

Alice ignored me as she talked about a design that she was working on that would look just lovely on me. Not forgetting to mention it only consisted of two tiny clothes to cover the breasts and a sad excuse of a skirt. It sounded like hooker clothes...tasteful hooker clothes.

When we walked into my apartment, I noticed two dresses spread across the leather coach. Alice asked Jasper to step outside, and he waited outside the apartment without complaint.

Alice asked me to try on the clothes in the living room. She told me she didn't want me to go into my room just yet.

I was grateful; I knew whatever she did would probably give me a heart attack. I would have to go shopping for a few pairs of cheap jeans just to keep my sanity.

The silk dress made me feel naked; it clung to my body like a second skin and made me feel insecure about every curve and bump on my body. It was a dress that Alice or Rosalie could pull off without a problem. It wasn't my type of dress. I settled for the cotton version, it was soft but still tight. At least it felt like clothes and not a second skin. I tried to pull it down a bit, but it wouldn't go past my knees. I heard a disapproving ahem from Alice.

"I like it. The silk ones better though. You look divine in it."

"Ugh, can we just get this over with?"

"You act like I'm taking you to your funereal."

"You might as well be. Hold on, let me get my purse." I said turning around, but she stopped me by grabbing my arm with her thin stick like fingers.

"You won't need it, I have your keys in my purse, and I'm paying. Let's go." Alice said tugging me along.

I followed her out the door, I didn't bother locking up. There was no such thing as robbers in Forks. When we got outside, Jasper pulled out an umbrella, it was raining – hard. I was surprised I didn't notice when the rain started. It was so dark outside I could hardly tell that it was raining except for the loud noise made when the rain droplets hit our umbrella.

We all huddled around Jasper as he led us across the street towards his car. A sleek black BMW that Alice got him for his birthday last month. All I got him was a copy of Pride and Prejudice and a dorky clay ornament that I made every year for my friends birthdays. This year I made him a fairy ornament that was supposed to be Alice.

We climbed into the car and Jasper immediately turned on the heater. Alice sat in the passenger seat next to Jasper; they held hands as Jasper drove with his left handed.

"Why do you hate him?" Alice asked as we pulled got onto the highway.

"Hate who?"

"Edward."

"I don't know. But I didn't like his writing, and we just didn't hit it off."

Alice seemed to think about my answer, as Jasper sped 100 miles down a 50 limit high way. This no longer bothered me, I used to freak out but Jasper's reflexes were amazing and I trusted him. Somewhat.

Alice turned her head to look at me, "I remember when you read his vampire chronicles. You just about orgasimed from them."

I stared at her with disbelief.

"You became obsessed with him. Reading every book he wrote. Then you read that one thing and you absolutely loathed him."

I composed myself but my brain wasn't fast enough to think of a response.

"I can't wait to meet him!" She squealed and turned around looking ahead again. "Plus I have some business to attend to with Emmett and Rose."

"Business?"

At least this topic wasn't about me.

"Yes Jasper wouldn't tell me what Rose looked like so I looked her up online. She's pretty enough to model my adult line! And Emmett could do my sports line. I haven't figured out all the kinks, but I am considering magazine ads."

"You started a sports line?"

"Yeah, might as well. I have every other line. And I can't use Angela for my female adult line, she looks too sweet and innocent. The teen look fits her much better."

"You said sweat pants were the devils creation."

"My sports line has taste."

I rolled my eyes.

_Probably diamond studied running sneakers and emerald buttoned pants._

We chit chatted about class, and clothes till we finally arrived at the restaurant. Jasper remained silent. It was an Italian restaurant located 8 exists off the highway, it was a few miles away from Forks and near Alice's store. And Alice approved of everything in that neighborhood, probably because she owned half of it.

The rain had subsided slightly. Jasper got out of the car first and opened the umbrella and then ours doors. Alice loved his charming chivalry and always let Jasper be the gentleman, never uttering a word about female independence. It was probably because Jasper knew when Alice wanted to do things on her own without his help. They were so perfect it made all other relationships in comparison seem lacking. Maybe that's why I didn't date anymore.

I looked at Jasper and Alice as we walked into the restaurant. Jasper held the door and when his eyes met hers there was a certain fiery connection. The way he looked at her was indescribable. It proved that he would not only kill for her, but he would die for her. Nothing mattered except her. That's what the look read. And I never got that look from anyone, and I never would. I became accepting of that. But because I see them looking at each other that way every single day, I refuse to settle for anything less. So I'd live my life alone. Forever. Sadly, I couldn't even be that crazy lady with cats…animals hate me. So I'd live alone, in the complete and totally essence of the word.

Jasper hung the umbrella on the hat rack and we were seated right away, apparently the other half of our party was already there. We were put into a secluded part of the restaurant all the way in the back by a wall sized window, no doubt by Alice's request. The view out the window looked out into the deep dark forests.

* * *

I hope your still intersted in the story!

I know it's a bit slow but I really want to build the characters up.

Also "the look" I talked about is actually one of my desires in real life. I think "the look" is a very vital part of every good relationship. How can you love someone without "the look"?


	5. Rinse and Repeat

Emmett sat next to the window and Edward sat next to him, Rosalie sat across from Emmett. Emmett and Edward were in deep conversation and Rosalie was looking out the window pretending not to pay attention. When we came, both of the men stood up as we took our seats. Alice sat next to Rosalie and Jasper sat next to Alice. There was no more room on that side and I was forced to sit next to Edward.

We didn't make eye contact.

Alice introduced herself and not beating around the bush asked Emmett and Rosalie AND Edward to model for her. Rosalie seemed interested and Emmett seemed hesitant. Edward denied her politely.

Rosalie and Alice hit it off…really well. When Rosalie discovered that the Pixie name brand was Alice's, she showed Alice her purse – it was Pixie branded and then they became the best of friends. I couldn't deny I was slightly jealous as they talked about fashion and models and this seasons' must haves. Emmett and Jasper went talking football.

Edward and I didn't speak.

A waitress came within a few minutes and took our orders. She was a slim and slender lady in her mid 30's. She had on a white cotton blouse and black pants with a fanny pack around her waist. That was her uniform. She took out a notepad and welcomed us pleasantly.

"Would you like anything to drink?"

Rosalie ordered Oregon Pinot Noir wine. Emmett said he would share with Rosalie. Alice ordered Long Island Ice Tea, and Jasper ordered Tequila. When the waitress looked at my direction, Edward and I spoke at the same time;

"Bottle of Chopin Vodka."

Our heads turned towards each other and we stared with an unknown facial expression plastered on our faces till the waitress interrupted our gaze.

"Is that one or two?"

"Two" I said. "One" He said.

"One" I said. "Two" He said.

"One" Alice said after I flushed with embarrassment and looked down at my hands resting on my thighs. I felt the weight of everyone staring at us.

The waitress wrote something in her notepad and asked Edward and I, "Would you like a chaser?"

Again both of us said, "No" at the same time.

I got so uncomfortable. I didn't know anyone else who could take straight shots of Vodka or even enjoyed it. The waitress left us and no one's stares left our bodies.

Emmett cleared his throat and turned his attention to Rosalie.

"So tell me what your favorite thing about Italy is."

Then suddenly it hit me. Emmett was into Rosalie. I looked up at Rosalie.

Rosalie looked out the window after our eyes made contact. She answered dully, "The people. They're very nice and respectable. And the fresh produce is unparallel."

Alice talked about the Forks greenhouses to her, and Jasper and Emmett fell back to their comfortable conversation. This time about weights, who could bench press more.

My eyes fell back down and never left my hands; I didn't understand how I was feeling about Edward. This man's morals were against everything I valued and yet I wanted to talk to him. I longed to talk to him. I wanted to look at him, but my eyes refused to move. I was scared.

_Of what? _

When I finally got the courage to raise my head and look up, I saw the waitress had already brought our drinks. I had a shot of Vodka already filled to the brim in the crystal clear glass.

Emmett declared a toast.

"To fun." He said, and we all clanged glasses, Edward and I were the last to touch. Our eyes met for a moment but I looked away the second his eyes met mine. He was too beautiful to look at. He was perfect model material; I didn't understand why he denied Alice.

_Maybe he had a better offer…_

I drank it down quickly, it warmed my chest and it felt so good. I put the glass down at the same time Edward put his down. He then gripped the Vodka bottle and poured another shot for both of us. I mumbled thank you, he grunted a you're welcome in response.

Alice seemed to warm Rosalie up, because Rosalie's puckered lips spread out and looked relaxed. She looked undeniably beautiful when she laughed at Alice's wit. I liked watching Rosalie; she was everything I wanted to be.

The waitress came back and was prepared to take our orders.

Rosalie ordered parmesan pasta. Emmett ordered steak and spaghetti. Alice ordered Prosciutto Cotto. Jasper ordered meat lasagna and mozzarella cheese sticks. When she looked in our direction again, I didn't know if Edward was supposed to go first or me. Someone kicked me under the table.

_Alice..._

"Mushroom Ravioli." I said quickly.

"Manicotti Formaggio." Edward spoke delicately, pronouncing it in perfect Italian.

The waitress nodded and left us once more.

Alice spoke her in her melodic voice that she used when she wanted something.

"A toast! To new friendships!"

"And new stories!" Emmett said chuckling with Jasper.

We toasted once more, when Edwards glass clanged with mine, my shaky hand spilled some on his slacks. He ignored it and took his shot. After I took mine, I apologized and he told me not to worry about it. He refilled our glasses.

Emmett began to tell us a story about a camping adventure of his. How he ended up running away naked from a drunken grizzly bear. We all laughed hard. By the time his story came to an end, our food arrived.

We toasted before the food was set in front of us. This time by Jasper's request, "to being carefree."

Alice's cheeks were already pink from her drunken state. It didn't take much to get her little self drunk especially with Jasper pouring Tequila into her tea.

The food smelled delicious as the waitresses settled each dish in front of everyone. My plate was the last one to be settled down, and the worst thing that could possibly happen...there were olives.

If you wanted me to gag, it was to put olives in front of me or in my mouth. I hated them with a passion. I felt dizzy with the smell of my food hitting my nose. I excused myself to the bathroom, feeling like I was going to hurl. I didn't care if everyone looked at me as I swiftly left the scene like a criminal escaping prison.

When I got to the bathroom, I washed my face with freezing cold water, and I felt my gagging reflex kick in. Olives really made me sick. Olive oil and olive juice was fine, but anything with the actual physical display of olive in them was my kryptonite. I spit saliva into the sink and rewashed my face again. After I dried off I felt miserably pathetic. Everything that could make the day worse, happened.

_Murphy's law._ (What can go wrong...will go wrong)  
_He must be courting me into marriage. _

I sighed to myself; I'd just have to deal with it. I was too embarrassed to get prissy about a few olives in my food.

I'd swallow my own vomit if I had to.

I cringed at the thought. I really didn't want to do that...

Just as I was about to walk out the restroom, Alice danced in.

"Guuuuuesss what?" Her voice rang.

I stepped back slightly startled.

"What?"

"Edward stole all your olives."

I was beyond surprised for words.

_Murphy just got competition. _

"He said you wrote a very disturbing paper on the cons of eating olives. He said it was based on as much truth as The Simpsons. He's so cute."

The ability to speak still didn't return to me.

"I thought it was so adorable. I was about to ask the waitress to take back your dish and remove the olives, but he got to it first. Hehe. He likes you." Alice winked at me.

_My knees were weak. _

_Yes…My knees were weak. _

"Jeez don't look like I just lynched your favorite teddy bear."

I opened my mouth and closed it again. I folded my arms around my chest.

"Wow, you either really like him or have gotten psycho paranoid. I told Jasper we need to take you out more often. Living in those books can't be good for your health."

"He hates me." At least I finally said something, my voice cracked on the last word.

"If this is hate, I wonder what love would be like." She was teasing me, but I was convinced he hated me. There was no other possible explanation. By all logic he should be trying to poison my food.

_Could he really be this two-faced? _

"Come on let's get back before Jasper calls a search party for us. Try to look like it's not the absolute worst day of your life will you?"

I smiled weakly. I couldn't understand Edward at all. What was his motive? What did he want from me? Why was he being so….unpredictable?

We returned back to hearing the end of Emmett's story about a skateboarding accident that caused a 4 year old to do a back flip to get out of his way. When we took our seats, Emmett proposed another toast.

"To good sex."

The alcohol was getting to him. We all clanged glasses in the middle this time. Jasper had ordered Alice and him another round of drinks when she went to the ladies room. Jasper and Alice clanged glasses twice before drinking for that toast.

I was hesitant to take my shot to my lips, but when I saw Edward easily take his shot – I couldn't let him beat me so I drank up. Enjoying the warmth spread down from my throat to my chest. I looked down at my plate, olive free. I glanced up at Edward but he was looking at Emmett as he continued to tell his story.

_I should thank him…._

I looked down at my food and began to eat it slowly. It was good.

We had 5 more toasts afterwards, one even by Rosalie; "To reality." We didn't understand the meaning to it, but Emmett, Alice, and Jasper were so wasted that no one cared. Jasper and Alice were on their fourth round.

Edward and I seemed to be unaffected, or maybe we were affected but refused to show it. The waitress eventually came to take our plates and we all ordered desert. 6 huge gelatos.

Sour grape for Rosalie, Pineapple for Emmett, Cherry for Alice, Chocolate for Jasper, Green apple for Edward, and Pomegranate for me.

Alice made another toast before they brought the desert.

"For SOMEONE to finally get some!" She stared at me as she slurred the last word.

She was drunk, she was wasted, she had no idea what she was saying….That didn't stop me from kicking her under the table.

And yet everyone but I toasted to that, when I looked over to Edward he didn't drink his shot. I didn't know how I felt about that.

Laughs started again when Rosalie began talking about an embarrassing moment during boarding school. She was drunk enough to loosen up and act as if she wasn't repulsed by everyone. I liked her like that. Her cheeks became a natural (drunken) shade of rosy red, and her plump lips spread out to form a beautiful and captivating movie-star smile.

We toasted again, "For getting dri-drunk." I forgot who made that toast.

When we were finished with our deserts, Emmett looked over at me. "Hey kroshka." He addressed me, I was confused. "How about you make a toast."

I thought about it for a moment and decided it was safe; they'd be too drunk to remember.

"To that look."

I was right, no one questioned me, everyone just toasted all together in the middle. I wanted to look over at Edward, but I dared not to. We had somehow managed to sit even closer together that our shoulders were touching and the heat emanating from his body to mine was so gratifying that I was angry that I was enjoying it.

_The first moment I was grateful for him. _

_The second moment I questioned his motives. _

_The third moment I wanted him. _

_The fourth moment I was scared of him. _

_Rinse and repeat. _

Eventually we were done and everyone agreed that we were all too drunk to drive. Alice reassured us that there was a hotel nearby. So everyone except Edward and I stumbled out of the restaurant.

No one paid, Alice owned the place.

Emmett held Rosalie tightly around the waist, almost possessively. Jasper carried Alice bridal style. Edward and I walked in back of everyone quietly, not even close to touching anymore. Whatever connection we made in the restaurant had a swift guillotine death.

Alice was telling an embarrassing story about Jasper that I wasn't listening to. I probably heard it already anyway. Suddenly the alcohol hit me, and I the only thing I remembered was my face about to kiss the pavement.

* * *

Short chapter, but I hope it was enjoyable!

FYI I seriously hate olives...lol. :P

Thank you for reading so far :) I really appreciate reviews and opinions.


	6. Good morning

I woke up with one of the worst headaches I've ever had. A migraine would have been a better description. Or better yet, little imps flying around banging my head with hammers while little fairies with razor sharp claws clawed at chalk boards in my ear.

My head throbbed and I refused to open my eyes. I seriously believed for a moment that I was drowning underwater. I gasped quickly filling my lungs with as much air as I could, my arms shot up to my throat and I stuffed my face into what I thought was a hard pillow. Suddenly I realized it wasn't a pillow and my eyes darted open.

It was Edward.

_Without a shirt. _

I stared at him, and forgot to breathe. I looked away and exhaled sharply. Then I scooted aside ungracefully, to the very far end of the bed – away from him. I turned my head, he was still there. I pinched my arm – I winched and he didn't disappear.

"What the..." It hurt to talk, my head pounded even harder and I moaned as I brought my fingers to my temples and rubbed gently.

_Stupid stupid little imp things..._

I stared up at the ceiling – it wasn't my ceiling.

"Shhhh relax. You passed out last night." His voice was soothing…but it didn't comfort me when I realized he was actually…physically…100, no doubt about it, next to me.

_Oh god…._

"I remembeh…the pahement." My voice was horse and the pounding became unbearable. I closed my eyes tightly trying to prevent tears from streaming down. My eyelids didn't even provide a sanction for darkness, everything around me was blood red from the inside of my eyelids.

"I caught you before you hit it." He reassured me.

_I should thank him for that. _

I replayed as much of last night as I could remember in my head. It was a good evening…maybe. My mind was still fuzzy and anytime I concentrated too hard on a particular moment my head began to thump uncontrollably.

I felt ashamed; my behavior last night was outside my character. My father would have been ashamed as well. I should have never gone out last night to make a fool of myself…now stuck here…

_Here? Where is here? _

"Where a-are weh?" I asked in a cracked voice, I could smell the rotten tomato breathe coming from my mouth.

"Hotel." My eyes shot open again and my breathing became rapid, I felt like I was about to start hyperventilating.

_Oh my god…._

"We didn't have sex if that's what you're thinking."

_Thank god. _

_I think…_

"What ti-time is it?" I tried to control my breathing.

"Noon."

At least something would be normal about today. I got up at the right time.

"Where is –" My voice died on me.

"Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, and Alice shared a suite. There was only one other room available. They slept one floor above us. Alice and Jasper left two hours ago. Alice to work, Jasper to class. Alice asked me to give you a letter; it's on the desk….No I didn't read it. And I'm not sure if Emmett and Rosalie are still here."

_What idiots go drinking on a school night…_

I closed my eyes again and moaned as I rolled over on my side, my back to him. I was nearly on the edge of the bed a light push from him and I would have fallen face first to the floor.

"Don't fall." He sounded serious.

_How could he be so composed!? _

He seemed to read my thoughts. "In Greece I drank a lot to get my writing out and I drank when I was bored. I'm used to large amounts of alcohol."

_And I wasn't. _

I rolled over again on my back. I heard my stomach rumble.

"I'll go get us some lunch. Do you want anything in particular?"

_A shower, new clothes, a tooth brush, toothpaste, and a time machine. _

"Anything is fine."

_I should thank him. _

"I'll be back in half an hour." He said and I heard him get off the bed. I opened one eye to see him standing still half naked with his back to me as he reached for a t shirt lying on the table. He looked so perfect. His caramel skin glowed in the sun coming from the window. I closed my eye when I saw his head twitch in my direction.

He left without another word.

After a few more minutes of laying in bed I opened my eyes and forced myself to sit up slowly. I suddenly felt the need to throw up. I needed to get to the bathroom, but before I could throw myself off the bed I noticed a garbage can next to my side of the bed. I picked it up and hurled into it. My throw up reeked worse than my morning breath did. I gasped for air, and I spat out my insides once more.

I tried to calm myself and regulate breathing but another round of throw up escaped. After round four, I felt like I had nothing else to throw up. The room began to spin and I became dizzy and closed my eyes tightly. I tried so hard to concentrate on not hurling and fainting that my head began to pound with a new fierceness.

_This is hell…_

I tried to relax, untenseing all my muscles and slowly I opened my eyes again. My nose regained consciousness; my throw up reeked and the smell alone was about to make barf up my insides again. I looked over my shoulder and found a lid to the can on the dresser beside me. I closed it tightly and placed the garbage can back on the floor.

I looked around the room slowly.

A bed, 2 dressers, a window, a table and 4 walls. That's all the detail my hung over brain registered as I stumbled to my feet.

I had to stand still for a few moments. I counted to twenty in my head before I tried walking. I headed towards the door that looked like it was for the bathroom. I was right.

_I need new clothes…._

As I stepped into the bathroom, my feet hit some unknown fabric. When I looked down I noticed a t-shirt and pants folded by the wall. I bent down slowly, careful not to disturb my delicate stomach, and examined them. They were my size.

_Thank you Alice…_

I walked towards the bathtub and turned on the shower. The water poured down like a waterfall. I turned my attention to the sink. There was a pink toothbrush and Colgate toothpaste with a sticky note saying, "Yours".

_I love you Alice. _

I brushed my teeth for a good ten minutes and used up half the toothpaste before I took off my dress and underwear to enter the blazing hot shower. It felt so good. I stood motionless for what felt like an eternity before I began to rub the hotel manufactured soap all over my body. I took it slow and didn't make any sudden movements. The pounding of my head returned every time I moved too quickly. I felt too weak to move out of the bathtub and my knees began to shake so I just sat down and let the shower head rain on me.

I cradled myself, wrapping my arms tightly around my legs and my knees were pulled up to my chest. My head laid between my knees as I began to cry. I couldn't stop my cries from turning into sobs. I was so scared.

_Life wasn't supposed to be like this…_

This wasn't safe. Nothing I was doing was safe. I was allowing myself to fall for Edward.

_That's what happened right? _

He made me feel vulnerable and made me venture into the unknown corners of my emotions. Everything felt so new to me, as though I had shut off that part of my life and kept it in the darkness for so long that I forgot it even existed. I forgot what spontaneity felt like. I forgot how to trust in new people. I forgot how to talk to other people.

I forgot how to believe in people.

_I like him…_

_I don't want to like him…_

Life wasn't a book…I could stop reading a book when things didn't go my way, but I couldn't stop living life when things didn't go my way.

I liked Edward. I really liked Edward. But how can I like someone with such monstrous notions on humanity? Why couldn't I control my heart?

_But what if he isn't like that anymore? _

_It was a possibility. _

And that possibility alone gave me some hope and I stopped crying. I raised my head up so my face was hit with the water droplets – washing away my tears. I only wished it could wash away my fears as well.

I slowly raised myself to my feet, careful to grip the ledge as I stood up and shut off the shower.

I put on the clothes after drying myself off; sadly Alice didn't include any underwear. I thought she'd get a kick out of dressing me in sexy lingerie. But the outfit she gave me wasn't her style, I wondered if she felt pity on me and didn't want me to suffer anymore than I had to. The shirt was black with a gray motif of sketched flowers that looked beautiful to me and the jeans were plan and faded. The type I would have picked out on my own.

_Wow, Alice put friendship before clothes. _

_This was a day to remember…and forget. _

I did my best to dry my hair with the towel but gave up on it. I left it down and messy, I didn't want to frustrate myself into unconsciousness.

I opened the bathroom door and saw Edward already sitting on the edge of the bed staring out the window. I opened my mouth to say something but closed it when he looked over his shoulder at me.

"Hey." He said softly.

"Hi", I said weakly. I sniffed the air; the lid on the garbage can did a good job of keeping my barf smell from dispersing into the air. A breeze came at me. I shivered; he must have opened the window.

I walked towards him slowly.

_Left foot_

_Right foot _

_Breathe _

"I got an Italian sandwich, ham wrap, turkey wrap, and deli sandwich. I wasn't sure which you'd want."

"Turkey wrap please." I said approaching him. He handed me a plastic box. I sat next to him. Close enough to smell him but far enough not to touch him. He bent over and took another box out of the grocery bag between his feet. He ate an Italian sandwich as I slowly nibbled on my wrap.

We ate in silence. It was awkward. I wanted to say something…

_Like a thank you…_

But I couldn't get my mouth to obey. Sitting this close to him, I noticed something else. His hair was so messy but so perfect. Its bronze shade went with his complexion and accented his almost fully-green eyes into a masterpiece of a face and it matched the sunset orange in a way that only a picture could describe.

He also smelled amazing. Like vanilla and cinnamon. I took a deep breath, enjoying his scent.

When he finished his sandwich he waited patiently for me to finish mine. I only got half way before I declared myself full and put it back into the box.

I stood up slowly; I felt his eyes on me. I wondered what was running through his mind.

I took the letter from the desk. It was written on the hotels stationary, apparently the place was called Twilight. Alice didn't own it. In a messy handwriting she scribbled;

"**Hi, I'm so so sorry. I got called into work for an emergency. Holy crap – hang over. Anyway, Pixie is 2 blocks to the left when you walk out of the hotel and around the corner. Sorry for the shitty hotel room!**

**Call me when you wake up and I'll order you car service here or just stop by. I'll get you changed into something else! I love you! I'm sorry!! **

**Xoxo!" **

I smiled at it. Alice was too sweet.

"Everything okay?" Edward asked.

"Yeah, I'm just going to go over to Pixie."

"No class today?"

"No, I have office hours, but I'm sure Jasper is taking care of it."

"I see." His voice was soft. Was it always that smooth?

"Do you want me to drop you off?" He asked. I felt him stand near me. I took a deep breath. He smelled heavenly.

Was I losing my mind? This man hates me! And he has a right to hate me! I couldn't believe how I was feeling about him. I wanted to say yes, but my logic and stomach said no. I couldn't handle a bike ride.

"No, I'll just walk there. It's nearby."

"I'll walk with you."

He didn't give me a choice and if I was being honest I didn't want him to give me a choice. My pride might have made me say no. We left the hotel in silence.

_Did he think less of me? _

Edward returned the key and checked out while I waited in the lobby, holding a bag of my half eating wrap and yesterdays clothes.

_Or did he pity me? _

Edward and I walked the whole time without speaking. I wanted to say something…anything…but my mouth failed me once more. I wanted to have a real conversation with him, but I was confused on how he felt about me. I didn't feel safe talking to him. Would asking him his favorite book be appropriate? Or was that something only friends asked?

_Were we friends? _

We came to Pixie in less than 5 minutes, Edward and I stood in front of each other. We both avoided looking into each other's eyes or maybe he did look into mine and it was just me that was doing the avoiding.

"Well have a good day." He said after what felt like an eternity. He raised his hand and did a lazy wave as he turned around.

I felt disappointed.

I didn't know what else I should have expected from him.

"BELLA!" Alice screamed from the inside of the store. I stopped staring at Edwards back and looked at Alice rushing her little self to me. She met me outside and hugged me tightly; I suppressed an unconscious will to vomit. She had put on too much perfume to cover the smell of hang over.

Alice held me by the hand and we walked inside. The store looked like a museum. It had one article of each type of attire the store owned on display, and the sales people were to go to the back and bring out the proper size for the interested buyer and direct them to the section of the store (that was covered with mirrors from ceiling, to floor, to walls) that held the fitting rooms.

Apparently this seasons fashion was the color green. I suddenly loved green and I forgot the reason why. The floors, walls, and ceiling were tiled with white limestone in the main rooms of the store. In the middle of the room were tables displaying shoes, boots, sandals and stilettos. Each room was about the size of 5 of my classrooms.

Her store took up a whole block and she was debating about adding a second floor to it.

I was greeted by familiar salesman. He used to go to my high school. Alice turned and examined me – head to toe, and toe to head.

"You changed?" She questioned me.

I was confused and becoming very annoyed at being confused so often. "Yea, you left them for me?" I questioned her back.

"I didn't leave you anything." Alice said startled.

_Did Edward…._

"Not even a toothbrush and toothpaste?"

"….no? The hotel was much crappier than I remembered. They didn't even supply shampoo." Alice raised her eyebrow. "Where did you get the new clothes?"

"They were in the bathroom."

"Oh." Alice smirked as she walked me to the back of the room. "Edward must have done some shopping; I knew I heard his bike around the neighborhood."

_Wow…._

"I don't think he slept." She stated. "He seemed so distressed by you passing out. At least Jasper said so. I don't remember anything from last night." She led me to the back where they kept the clothes.

"I don't need new clothes." I said realizing what Alice was doing.

She looked me over. "I suppose not."

I smiled at her softly as she stopped and looked at me with a strange twist of her mouth, her facial expressions changing every few moments as she cocked her head from side to side.

"Did he buy you underwear?"

"No." I felt my cheeks flush.

"What a gentleman…." She remarked. "Or not….Hmmmm."

I raised my eyebrow and that action caused my headache to return.

"I'm the only one who sells underwear in a 25 mile radius of here. Hmmm. Is it better that he did or didn't. I wonder."

"Alice stop." I begged her.

"Fine." She said, but I could tell that she was still thinking it. "Want some underwear?"

I had to admit, commando was uncomfortable. I gave in. "Yes."

She gave me…not one, not two, not three….but six pairs of undergarments.

1 set of black and lace, 3 sets of different shades of green; one silk, one lace, and one cotton, 1 set of angel white with lace, and 1 set of a butterfly motif made of cotton.

I put on the light green cotton one and after a short mindless conversation with Alice in the dressing room. It was awkward seeing your reflection from every angle, including between your legs. We argued about my transportation home as I slid my shirt back on.

I said I'd take the bus but she nearly burst into my room to rip my head off instead she politely ignored me and called one of her personal drivers to get me home. She bagged my items without charging me and gave me a water bottle and 4 pills of Advil. I took them with gratitude.

We heard a honk and she walked me to the door of the car, it was a really nice car. I didn't know what style it was, but it had a horse symbol in front of it. She held the door open for me and instead of closing it she bent over and stuck her head in and whispered to me.

"Just so you know I approve of him." She said carefully choosing her words.

"Who?" Apparently my hung over state prohibited me from quick thinking.

She rolled her eyes and closed the door on me.

The driver drove at a reasonable speed, only 10 miles over the speed limit. I was grateful that the car ride was smooth and didn't rock me. The driver also didn't make small talk, another thing I was grateful for. I just stared at my feet the whole time. I still wore the black flats that I had on since yesterday morning. I could feel the blisters in the back of my heel.

The driver arrived in front of my apartment building within an hour, and I thanked him – he only nodded his head. I walked up my stairs slowly, I wasn't in a hurry. I had classes Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Tuesday and Thursday were my Teacher's hours where I was available for 4 hours to assist any student with any problems regarding the class…and more often than not I dealt with personal problems too. Today Jasper dealt with my problems, after all I wouldn't be in such a state of delicacy if it wasn't for him and Alice. I didn't actually blame them, but I would if someone were to put my resting time in question.

When I entered my apartment it was dark, the sun was on the other side of the building. This was the lighting I was used to. I went to the fridge to put away the nibbled wrap and got out a bottle of cold water. I drank nearly the whole thing in one breath. It caused the room to spin for a little bit, I stood still till my vision cleared up and then slowly walked towards my room after tossing the empty bottle in the trash.

I had to eventually check out my new closet. There was a piece of paper in fancy name-brand stationary taped to the door. It reminded me of the Wittenburg Church Door and I giggled at myself as I peeled it off and read it closely.

"Don't hate me!

I tried to keep in mind what you like…."

I taped the paper back on my door, and slowly opened it. There in front, to my surprise, were jeans, sweat pants, t shirts, and tank tops. I had to rub my eyes to make sure.

Everything had Pixie tags on them. All the prices had been dashed out with black permanent marker of course. I pushed the first row of clothes aside, and then I found what I was expecting. Alice style clothes. Sun dresses, little black dresses, cocktail dresses, slacks, blouses, skirts, skin tight sweaters, and anything else I wouldn't wear out of my own free will.

I had a huge smile on my face, not because I had a new wardrobe; 75 of which I would not wear…but because Alice had taken my tastes into consideration. And this time it was really her.

It was really hard for her to be swayed to other people's styles.

I turned around towards the light switched and turned it on. The light irritated me but I was patient with the discomfort till I was able to ignore it. I looked at myself in the mirror; I liked the clothes Edward picked out. They were so….me.

I bent down, going on my knees and crawled into my closet and began to pull my books from the back. After a half an hour of searching through at least 95 titles I found what I was looking for. A 4 book saga written by Edward Masen. I placed all the other books back carefully.

Then I went through all my drawers, in search of something else. When I didn't find anything, I went back to the living room and to the back towards the kitchen and got out another bottle of water.

I felt so dehydrated. I drank half of it and took it back with me to my room. I searched the drawers of my desk to no avail. Then I searched the stacks of papers that were stacked up against the walls of my room.

Finally found what I was looking for after I made a mess of my floor.

"The story of a human"…by Edward Masen.

I grabbed his books and dissertation and wobbled slowly to my bed. I opened the first book of the saga and fell in love once more as I began to recall the universe he had created. The first book was as gruesome as Jasper had first described it. It was dark and bloody and every single action the vampire committed felt utterly hopeless. I finished the first book within 7 hours, and another 9 or so for the next. Two chapters into the third book I passed out hugging the book close to my chest like a stuffed animal.

* * *

Do you think it was gentlemenlyish of him not to buy her underwear?

I'm not even sure how I feel about that lol.

Hope you enjoy


	7. Hiking

I woke up to the annoying ring of my phone. It was 2 PM. I needed to get out of bed. I also needed to change the ring tone. I shut off my phone and then went through my daily ritual of showering and lunching – which consisted of half a turkey wrap from yesterday and cereal with milk.

Jasper came in when I was washing my dishes.

"Good morning sunshine." He said, holding my supplies for the day.

_Ahh….life as usual. _

I smiled back at him, "hey they mister." I dried my bowl and placed it back on the counter.

"So I was wondering if you had any plans for the weekend?"

_Translation: Alice was wondering if you had any plans for the weekend. _

_Answer: Yes I do have plans. I plan to read papers, finish Edward's saga, reread his dissertation, and watch a documentary or two while eating a pound of chetos. _

"No" I replied. My version of plans wouldn't pass inspection.

"Well Alice was wondering if we could all get together and maybe go hiking."

_No…_

"Who else is coming?" I asked leaning over the counter towards him.

"Emmett and Rosalie."

"No"

"And Edward."

_Shit….yes? _

I stared at him. If I changed my mind, then I would look foolish. If I didn't change my mind, then I would feel foolish. The stubborn in me won.

"Let's go we don't want to be late."

"Okay." He said not willing to argue and turned to the door to put on his shoes.

"Oh wait, I forgot something." I skipped into my room and picked up the third book in Edward's saga off my bed and carried it back with me.

I wore an extra-large navy-blue turtle neck and loose jeans with my hair down. And they were Pixie stamped, and I didn't mind one bit.

"What do you have there?" Jasper asked as I handed him the book. His expression changed to a defeated one.

"Do you like Edward?" He asked as I put on my green Pixie stamped tennis shoes.

"As much as I like cruel and unusual punishment."

"You enjoyed Saw."

_Damn… _

I didn't say anything else, instead in my head I wondered over and over.

_Did I like Edward? _

_Maybe…_

_Maybe not. _

_I liked his saga. _

_I liked his physical appearance. _

_I liked his smell. _

_But did I like him? _

_I didn't know him._

_I hated his dissertation. _

And he probably hated my guts and acted out of pity the day before. I grimaced at that possibility. I had some sort of feelings for him…maybe. I wasn't sure anymore. I could have felt that way from my intoxication to the large amount of alcohol. Nothing was certain. Especially Edward. He was uncertain.

_He likes me…_

_He doesn't like me…._

I didn't know.

We walked out of my apartment in silence. When we stepped outside I looked up, the sky was dark and gloomy but no sign of rain yet.

"What Alice say about the weather?"

"Dry all day and sunshine for the weekend."

Alice had some weird gut feeling about the weather all the time, and she was right – all the time. She was my weather fortune teller.

"You should come with us…hiking I mean."

"And you should wear a dress and prance around singing the theme song to teletubbies." I replied back. Edward would not have to deal with me, or take care of me. I was not going to be something that had to be dealt with. It was beyond obvious that he had no feelings towards me.

_Right? _

"That show promotes obesity." He replied with a smirk.

"And stupidity."

"I was a power ranger watcher."

"Green ranger."

"Red."

We continued the conversation about childhood shows all the way to The Center where we were greeted by Esme and a few Student Association and Student Service members standing bored at their desk flipping through the pages of magazines.

Esme handed me a huge pile of papers.

"Apparently kids want to get a head start on the weekend." Esme said with a soft smile.

"Yea…" I was surprised by the massive amounts of papers. But if the weather predicted sunshine, many of them went out of Forks for a weekend adventure and a little English class was not going to stop them. But at least they respected me enough to actually hand in my paper on time. Jasper took the papers from Esme and didn't bother to put them in the folder. There were too many. With a 50 page minimum the total in Jaspers hand probably exceeded 800 pages.

"How are you doing deary? I didn't see you yesterday. Jaspy said you were sick."

_Jaspy…hehe. _

I loved hearing other people use Alice's nickname for him. He only let Esme, Alice, and I call him that and I loved see his eyebrow twitch at the nickname.

"I got drunk off my ass, passed out, and spent the majority of last night getting over a hang over." I couldn't lie to Esme to save my life.

"Oh my, how are you feeling?"

"Good, life's back to normal." I said with a huge happy smile.

"That's good. Any weekend plans?"

"Jaspy…hehehehehe." I began but couldn't suppress my giggles; Jasper elbowed me in my ribs, "Owie. Anyway Jaspy and company are going hiking, I'm going to stay at home doing… uh, home stuff."

"Oh is that boy going too? Edward?"

Jasper answered for me, "Yes."

"He asked about you yesterday you know." Esme said with her eyes on me. I stared back.

_He couldn't possibly like me. _

The door opened and a student walked in, we all smiled at her politely and she handed Esme a folder. "It's for Professor Renesmee." She declared. Esme nodded and wished her a good day as she walked out.

Esme turned her attention back at me, but I stopped from the subject being about me. "So do you have any weekend plans?"

Esme's heart shaped face flushed pink. Jasper chuckled. He knew something I didn't.

"Well…Doctor Carlisle and I are going to go furniture shopping. He bought a new house a few years ago that we've been restoring it and now that that's complete he thought it was time for some furniture."

"And you just couldn't say no to the puppy dog eyes." Jasper said teasing; it was my turn to elbow him in the ribs.

Esme's face flushed even more.

"We tease Esme. I hope you have fun. We have to get to class. Let us know how it goes!" I said smiling and we departed.

We began to walk towards my red brick building. "Damn I bet no one's going to show up to class today." Jasper said looking up at the sky.

"I'm sure I'll have at least 15 kids show up."

"Out of 60."

I sighed. At least today would be an easy day. I wondered if Edward would show up to my novel class.

Jasper and I entered my office. He placed all the papers into the empty basket next to the basket with graded papers.

"You graded all the papers?" I was surprised.

"No one came to the teacher's hours since you weren't here. I had nothing else to do."

"Awww, thanks."

"You get to grade all these though. Since you refuse to go hiking."

Jasper sat in one of the chairs.

"Will you stay here?" I asked Jasper.

"I have to be home at 5. Alice asked me to go home early and pack for us." That meant he had to leave at 4:30 and my class ended at 4:00.

"You're leaving tonight?"

"Yea, we figure we'll set up camp and get wasted tonight and stay up till morning and hike till Saturday night. Then sleep half of Sunday and hike back to the car. Hopefully be back before midnight."

"What a good plan." I said mockingly.

"You're not coming, so no opinions from you." He said giving me a glare.

"What's the lesson plan for today?" I asked sitting in the seat next to his.

"Novel class. You start the introduction to Dickens; you'll be reading a tale of two cities. Umm, for Creative Writing you'll be going over some excerpts. Oh I haven't made copies of these yet. I'll make them while you're in novel class."

"What excerpts?"

"Action ones. Something from Steven King, R.A Salvatore, and something from Ursula K. LeGuin."

"Oh yea. I remember planning this. Their next paper would be physical conflict."

"Most people suck with writing fighting scenes."

"I know. You'll get to grade the sucky papers."

He gave me a face.

"Hmmm." I said to myself.

"What is it?" He closed my planner and slid it along with Edwards's book towards me.

"I was wondering. Do you think I could make them read 1984?"

"That's a high school reading material." He stated blankly.

"Do you think most of them read it?"

"Probably."

"Hmmm."

"You can assign it as a weekend read."

"I'm not mean enough to do it this weekend. I guess I'll do it when the weathers cruddy." I contemplated that in my head. I would have to do it after they finished reading Dicken's book, because I wouldn't want to make them read two books at once. "What do you think of reading 1984 and then having them watch V for Vendetta?"

"You're obsessed with that movie."

"I know."

"Might be a good idea, but don't do it in pieces. Watching half a movie sucks. I'll see if I can get the Cullen Theater slot next month."

"Thanks."

"You better get going to class."

I looked up at the clock. It was 2:52.

"Grade some papers." I said as I grabbed my planner and Edward's book.

"Aye aye Capitan." He said with a click of his tongue.

I held Edward's book close to my chest as I walked down the hall. I felt excitement as I entered my room – hoping he would be there…


	8. Edward will be single too

Edward didn't show up to my novel class and although I was slightly disappointed it was for the better. I had to lecture the whole time about the French Revolution to the 5 kids that actually showed up to class. I made a mental note to type up a version of my lecture for the absent students. Two of the five kids, including Angela, handed in the assignment I gave last class. I ended class 15 minutes early after I got bored with listening to myself lecture. I'd do better Monday.

Angela walked out of class with me. She told me of a project that her Philosophy teacher was going to assign them today. They had to work in pairs. I could hear the yearning in her voice to work with that kid Ben.

We walked inside my office, Jasper was marking a paper – it looked like he bleed over it; that was how many mistakes that student had.

"Jeez go easy Jasper." I said putting my books on the table.

"Oh you're reading Edwards books?" Angela noticed.

"Rereading." I corrected her.

"This kids an idiot. I don't know why he even bothered to take a 400 level class. It's like his first writing class." Jasper complained looking at us.

"Go easy on him." I repeated patting Jaspers back. "Listen I got to go meet with an English professor for some…ummm…tips on….a lecture." I sucked at lying.

Jasper's eye brow raised and I winked at him. Angela didn't even question me…she probably didn't believe I could lie.

"I'll be back in a jiffy."

"Who says jiffy?" Jasper teased as I opened the door to walk out.

"Oh bite me." I mumbled.

I rushed down the stairs to the second floor. It consisted of mostly philosophy classes. Or at least I was pretty sure of that. I stopped a kid walking in my direction. He was tall, had blonde spiky hair, and wore an AC/DC shirt with ripped up jeans.

"Hey Swan." He was evidently an old student of mine, I couldn't recall his name. I tended to forget kids after a semester unless they kept in touch.

"Hey, I have a favor."

"Sure anything." He liked my class obviously.

"Who's the Modern Philosophy 202 teacher?"

"Professor Lillian." He replied quickly. I assumed he was Philosophy major.

"Where is she? Or he?"

"Room 223."

"Busy?"

"His office."

"Thanks."

"No problem, take care!" He waved goodbye.

I smiled back and looked for room 223. When I found it I knocked on the door, a deep male voice replied that it was open.

"Hi, Professor Lillian?"

"Oh, Professor Swan. Hello. No I'm sorry he's out today. I'm his T.A. Jacob Black." The boy stood up, or well I should say man. He nearly cowered over me he was so tall. I shook his hand. His name sounded so familiar.

"You're in my creative writing class aren't you?" I questioned.

His smile widened. I guessed right. My creative writing class was a lecture class, while my novel class was a discussion class. I didn't know many kids from my creative writing class.

"Yea! Glad you remembered." He gave me a big smile as he brushed his long tangled black hair out of his eyes. "How can I help you?"

"Oh, yes before that. I read your paper! It was outstanding."

His cheeks turned light pink as he blushed from my compliment. "Ahhh, why thank you." He grabbed my hand and gave it a small kiss. I was startled and then amused as I let out a giggle.

"Hehe, yes it was wonderful. I assume you're a philosophy major?" I asked.

"No, I'm a biology major."

_What the hell was up with T.A's for the wrong subject…._

"You might want to consider a double major with English or maybe an English minor Jacob. You have a lot of talent."

"Awww, shucks. Well if that means I get more classes with you, I'd consider it."

_Was he flirting with me? _

I gave an uneasy smile.

"So is there anything I can help you with?"

He took a step closer to me, I took a step back.

"Uh yes, Jacob. Listen, do you happen to know which groups will be made for the…uh. Modern Philosophy class?"

"Yea I'm making them right now." He indicated towards the desk where papers were scattered all over.

"Well I was hoping you could do me a favor."

"Anything." He answered too quickly.

"Could you pare off a girl named Angela with a boy named Ben? I don't know the boy's last name though if there's another Ben in that class."

"Oh no, I know them. They sit next to each other. They rarely talk to one another though."

"Oh please Jacob? Do it for me?" I hated the way my voice sounded. It was so needy; I didn't want to give him any weird ideas.

"Oh…for you. Sure."

"Thanks a lot Jacob. I owe you!"

"See you in class Professor Swan." He said as I left the office quickly.

_That was so awkward and disturbing. _

I took a deep breath as I rushed towards the staircase and tripped on a step but caught myself before flying down a flight of stairs.

The Jacob kid just rubbed me the wrong way…and kissed my hand. I rubbed the back of my hand against my jeans creating so much friction that the skin on my hand turned ruby red. I never had any kid hit on me, not directly. They would do cute things once in a while like buy me sweet gifts or walk me to my office but they all kept their distance. That Jacob guy hovered over me. It was really disturbing.

I made my way up the stairs and back to my office.

"Welcome back." Angela said with a smile, I saw her stand up.

"Oh no sit down." I motioned her down but Angela moved out of the way.

"I have to get ready for Philosophy class."

"You have fun with that!"

Angela was startled by my excitement. "Alright thank you Bella. Have a wonderful evening Jasper – Bella. I'll see you two Monday." She smiled at me and we exchanged a quick hug.

As soon as she left I sank into the seat next to Jasper, he didn't take his eyes off the paper he was grading as he asked me, "So what did you do?"

"I didn't do anything."

"Don't plead the fifth on me."

"Just got Ben and Angela as partners for their Philosophy project." I said with a proud smirk. Jasper raised his head and looked at me.

"You're going to be the last single alive, you do realize that?"

"No, Edward will be single too."

I was surprised by my own words.

_Did I just say that? _

_Did I really just say that? _

_What the hell was wrong with me? _

"Are you sure?" Jasper asked, placing the pen on the desk, forcing all his attention on me.

"Forget I said anything."

"Offer to go hiking still stands."

_Yes…_

"No." I said sharply. "I hate hiking you know that."

"Mmm hmm." He turned his attention back to the paper. I picked up Edward's book and turned to the page I left off last night and got completely absorbed in his writing.

The next time I looked up, Jasper was gone with a long sticky note on my desk saying, "Not even an atomic bomb could get you back to reality. I'm gone, see you Monday. Take care of yourself. Don't die.

P.S: Photocopies are on your desk in the room."

I rolled my eyes and looked at the time. It was 6:05. I was late for class! I gasped and put the book down and quickly rushed out of my room, forgetting to lock it and semi-ran and semi-slide down the hall to my class. Where a total of 8 kids were seated, looking exceedingly miserable at the fact that I showed up. I noticed Jacob flash a smile and my stomach sank as I smiled back weakly.

_Who else did I expect to be there? _

I looked at the class, and then the photocopies on my desk.

"Oh screw it. Class cancelled, see you Monday." I said in defeat. I grabbed the photocopies from my desk and headed back to my office.

Jacob caught up with me and walked beside me.

"That was really nice of you Professor."

"Well the weekends suppose to be beautiful, and an evening class on a Friday isn't exactly a big ball of fun."

"Your classes are always fun."

"Why…uh thank you."

"I like the way you teach a lot."

_Uncomfortable…._

"I try my best."

"You're very amazing."

_Creepy…_

"Oh look, my office door. I'll see you later Jacob. I have a lot of work to take care of."

"Have a great weekend! I hope to see you soon!"

I closed the door quickly and locked it. That was the first time I locked my office while I was actually inside it. I sighed as I slid back into my seat, it was still warm. I got comfy, putting my legs on the table and continued reading where I left off.

When I finally finished the book I glanced up at the clock, it was 5 A.M. I let out a yawn and finally heard the angry rumbles of my stomach...I was starving.

_Great time to be leaving the office…._

I rolled my eyes as I lifted all the unmarked papers from their basket and grabbed my reading material. I unlocked my door and relocked it from the outside.

Walking outside at night did not scare me. Worst case scenario was that I would run into a drunken college student. Bad people didn't exist in Forks.

I was in my apartment within 10 minutes of leaving my office. The connivance of that could not be beat. I turned on the lights and opened my fridge. I poked around trying to find some sort of nutritional substance to calm my ravishing state. I decided on a salami sandwich with pickles and tomatoes. I made it and ate it on the way to my room. I turned on my lights and placed the plate with my sandwich on my dresser.

I began to undress and change into my sleeping attire. I suddenly felt so tired that sleeping naked began to have some appeal. I forced that thought out of my mind, believing you only slept naked when you slept with someone else.

I changed into an incredibly baggy old t shirt that Alice didn't get her hands on and some old shorts. It looked like she didn't go through the top shelves of my closet. I was grateful once more. The t-shirt belonged to my father.

I finished my sandwich in 4 more bites and sat at the edge of my bed. Edward's last book and dissertation was a few inches away from me. I was too tired to read it, but a strange feeling rushed through me.

It felt like he was near me. His sweet vanilla and cinnamon smell filled my lungs. I knew it wasn't real but it made the corners of my mouth spread into pure bliss. There was something about him that made me smile when I thought about him.

I stared at his dissertation. It was his views on humanity that ruined any chance I had on believing our compatibility. That and his breathtakingly captivating beauty that could only belong to a God. He was out of my reach…

I sighed as I stood up once more and shut off the lights and went to bed, with his works resting beside me.


	9. Edward's World

I woke up by myself. I had shut off my phone yesterday so it wouldn't wake me up over the weekend. I used my phone as an alarm clock more than an actual phone. Esme, Alice, and Jasper were the only ones that knew the number – I didn't even remember it. No one ever actually called.

I woke up still hugging his book. A little smile crossed my face when I thought of how pathetic I looked and I became grateful no one could see me. I slowly stood up with the book still in my arms and headed towards the living room – I grabbed the crumb filled plate off my dresser with my free hand on the way.

I placed the Vampire book on the kitchen counter and the plate into the sink. I let out a yawn and stretched out my body by raising my hands over my head and going on my tippy toes. I leaned back and then forward so my palms touched the floor; a few bones cracked during the process. I poured Cheroes cereal into a big blue bowl and drowned it with milk. I reached for a spoon and opened the Vampire book up with my other hand. I put a spoon full of cereal and milk in my mouth and my eyes returned to the last sentence I left off at.

I forgot to chew sometimes, and left the food roaming in my mouth as the pages became more interesting.

I hated how absorbed I got into books sometimes. It was the reason for my odd eating habits and even odder sleeping patterns. I closed his book after finishing another chapter and concentrated on the food in front of me. I ate it quickly and placed the empty bowl into the sink on top of the dirty plate. I didn't wash my dishes on the weekends.

I walked towards my couch with the book in hand. I reached for the remote on my coffee table and turned on the Television; I left it on whatever channel it turned to and reopened the book to continue my vampire adventure. My body curled up on the edge of the couch and I went back to the love triangle Edward created in the book between human desires, vampire desires, and love.

Hunger was what brought me back to reality. I felt like I had just eating but my stomach disagreed with me. I sighed and flipped the book down on the coffee table and increased the volume of the T.V to the max.

It was on some comedy show. An overweight man was doing stand up, the crowd laughed at a joke I missed.

I walked towards the kitchen section of the room and began to make pasta. I planned to make enough to last me throughout the day. I grounded some mozzarella to be used as the toppings for the dish and used alfrado cheese as my sauce. It didn't take long to finish making my meal and the smell of pasta and alfrado cheese sauce filled my windowless living room. It made my stomach roar in protest. I wanted food, not smell.

I poured half of what I prepared into another bowl and grabbed a fork from a drawer and placed it in my food. I sat back on the couch and absentmindedly watched the T.V, I wasn't actually listening or watching the program, my mind was in another world.

Edward's world.

I imagined the world of vampires, the life of eternity that they lived. Soon as I was done with my food; I placed the empty bowl on the coffee table and I returned to the last 352 pages left in the book. The plot thickened, the turning point created unpredictable scenes and every word had me at the edge of my seat – metaphorically speaking of course. I was spread out on the couch like a yoga instructor who just had their ribs removed.

I finally finished reading it all in some immeasurable amount of time. I didn't check when I woke up that morning but the clock read 2:53 A.M when I finished the book. I went back into the kitchen section to pour myself another bowl of pasta.

I was completely satisfied with the last book. His saga was a window into a world that I could have never come up with on my own. The first book seemed to posses only violent and depressive qualities but he was able to find a happy ending in a seemingly hopeless world. He was able to develop the characters into "people" that were easy to relate to.

I stuffed another forkful of pasta in my mouth.

I couldn't understand. His dissertation was the worst thing I had ever read, but his fictional stories were captivating and inspiring.

_Which one was the real him? _

I wanted to know the real him, what he was about, who he really was. I knew you could look up people online, but I was about techno savvy as a goldfish. Plus that was just a little bit creepy to search,

_stalk,_

him online. I wanted to have a face to face conversation with him.

But I couldn't talk to him…

Besides my obvious incapability of phrasing coherent thoughts that didn't contradict each other around him…he was out camping.

_He was out having a life. _

I was at home, with a half eaten bowl of cold pasta as my only companion.

I wanted to cry like a little kid again…I wanted to rip out the spot in me that held all my emotions. I wanted to examine them under a microscope. I wanted to know what the fuck it was that made me tick….

_Tick tock…_

It was 3:15 A.M when I finished eating and I stared at his dissertation like it was a panther in the jungle and I was its prey.

I picked it up.

I put it down.

I picked it up, opened the first page.

I closed it.

I put it down.

I picked it up.

I put it down.

I picked it up.

I threw it across the room.

I went to my coffee table and picked up the assignments from my Creative Writing students and began grading.

The first paper was boring; I gave it a C- and lots of criticism. In all honesty it was 63 pages of who knows what. The kid should have been grateful I read it, Jasper would have failed him. I had a hard time failing students.

_Sigh_

The next paper in the file was an early submission from my novel class. It was Samantha's paper. It was about the true love she felt when she was a foreign exchange student in France. It was so romantic and frivolous she lost sight of the main topic at least 5 times. I gave her a B-, just because she did tie up everything her conclusion.

_Next_

Another Creative Writing paper. It was a story about summer love. It reminded me of Grease. The plot was incredibly unoriginal, but the writing style was amazing and the author used so many metaphors that I felt like I was reading poetry. I gave him a B and encouraged him to think outside the box.

I passed out on the couch after that with tears in my eyes as the song "Summer Loving" replayed over and over in my head.

_Stupid paper…_

_Stupid Grease…_

Sunday came and Sunday went. I marked 7 more Creative Writing papers, ate Raman, and took a 3 hour bath while rere-reading the first book in the Vampire Saga. I was looking for clues.

_A window. _

I wanted to find an entrance to his soul. I wanted to understand him.

_Understand my feelings about him. _

**Monday**: Same shit, different day.

**Tuesday**: Same shit, different day.

**Wednesday**: Same shit, different day.


	10. Black Eye

**Thursday**:

I was in my office with a 10 different high lighters scattered across my desk, Edward's third book on my lap and a pencil making notes in the margins. Every page was colored like a rainbow.

Red highlight: anger

Dark blue highlight: confidence

Light blue highlight: hope

Pink highlight: love

Yellow highlight: Strange metaphors/ similes

Dark green highlight: death

Light green highlight: Salvation

Purple highlight: Historical/literature reference

Orange highlight: fear

There was a lot of orange and light blue.

I'll admit, I was taking it a bit too far…

Angela came into my office a quarter to 5 and disrupted me from my cliff jumping insanity. She sat next to me and handed me an apple.

"Good evening Bella."

"Hey." I took the apple and bit into it. I was forgetting to eat like a normal person again. "How are you and Ben doing?" I asked after I finished chewing my first bite.

"Great, we're going to the movies this Friday." Her smile was genuine.

I smiled back but without much feeling.

_Was I jealous? _

"Mister Masen asked about you today."

_Edward…_

I tried to sound diplomatic. "Oh really?" That was the first time anyone said anything to me about Edward all week. Jasper said Edward canceled on the camping trip last minute and didn't hear from him since.

"Yea, he asked how long it usually takes –"

"Usually what takes?" I cut her off, I was too eager. Too curious.

"For you to grade the papers."

_Why would he care? _

Angela continued, "I told him a week from the due date is usually when we get them back."

_That's Monday. Will he show up to my class on Monday? _

"He's doing a lecture this Friday. Are you going?" Angela asked me, pulling me away from my thoughts before they deepened into paranoia.

"Uh, erm. What time?"

"Six."

"That's during my Creative writing class."

"Would it….be okay…if…if I'd go?"

_No…_

"Yes."

"Thanks Bella. I promise not to fall behind."

"I know you won't." I knew she wouldn't…she was too good.

"I'm sorry, I have to run. Ben's meeting me in 15 minutes. He's meeting Alice today."

"Poor boy." My voice sounded emotionless. She gave me a half smile, she looked at me with concerned eyes. I gave her a big overdone smile.

"Have a good day." She said as she stood up.

"You too…"

She left, and my eyes fell to my lap. I was pathetic. I wasn't even grading my student's papers because I was too busy trying to understand Edward. I was being irresponsible because I had fallen for someone I rejected before knowing.

I mentally slapped myself and closed the book. I couldn't take it anymore. I needed to put him out of my mind. I tossed the book into my drawer and swept all the highlighters into the drawer as well.

_I need to move on…_

I really needed to. I grabbed a pen and one of the ungraded papers from the basket and began to grade Kiran's Novel paper.

On the fourth paragraph when my door opened. I didn't look up because the smell of peppermint let me know it was Jasper.

"Hey." He said as he took a seat next to me.

"Hi." I said. My voice sounded dead.

_I felt dead…_

"Glad to see you're actually doing your job." He teased.

I gave a weak grin.

Jasper reached across the desk to help me grade. At that moment I noticed; he wasn't around much this week. I looked up to ask him where he's been but my words fell down my throat when I saw his face.

He had a black eye. His right eye was barely open and he had his face scrunched up awkwardly. It was so a light purple under the eye and then went off to blue near his cheek bone.

My jaw dropped.

He noticed.

"Relax it's no big deal."

Jasper didn't get punched…it was a fucking big deal. No one punches Jasper. I was about to go and kill the person who hurt him, unless Alice was already shoving that person into an Iron Maiden. He was like my younger brother, who acted like my older brother. No one punches my younger/older brother.

"Emmett just hasn't been himself lately."

_Emmett? _

"Emmett?"

Okay…so maybe I'd hire someone else to beat up Emmett…

_He was kind of big though. Really big. _

"Yeah. He's been out of it all week. So I tried to cheer him up yesterday but that just made things worse, and today he just flipped out. He's not doing well."

_Wow…_

"Is he okay?"

_What a dumb question. _

"I don't know."

"I wonder what happened…" I said to myself. I was angry at Emmett, but he had said that he doesn't do a good job of talking about his feelings. He gets his emotions out physically, so it was understandable. But it didn't make it right.

I realized I was worrying about Emmett. I wanted to find some way to comfort him. Even though I never spent time alone with him but there was something about him that made me connect with him. I didn't want him to be upset or distressed if I could help it.

"Don't worry about it. He'll get better."

I nodded, not convinced. I couldn't concentrate on Kiran's paper anymore. I was trying to imagine Emmett furious and violent.

I couldn't get a clear image.

He was just too friendly.

_That smile. _

I didn't notice when Jasper left me, I was too busy trying to push Emmett's mystery out of my mind and concentrate on Kiran's paper…

The day ended the same as all the others.

* * *

Next few chapters will be mostly about Emmett

Because he's just too cute not to love :)


	11. Boxing

**Friday**

I had nearly forgotten Emmett's problems when Jasper burst into my office with such angry aura that my office seemed to darken by his very presence.

"What happened?" I asked as I wrote a B+ grade on Carry-Anne's paper. I finally finished all the Creative Writing papers and moved on to my novel class. I had only about 10 more papers, 2-3 more hours and I'd be done.

"Emmett is going to fucking kill himself." Jasper was royally pissed off. His black eye had darkened even more from yesterday.

"What?"

"I swear I think he was trying to drown himself at the pool."

I was speechless. I didn't deal well with suicide.

"I was going for a shower after crew practice and on my way I noticed him at the bottom of the pool. He wasn't moving so I jumped in to get him out. He fucking flipped out. Stick up his ass flipped out. Jesus fucking Christ. What is wrong with the guy!?"

I was about to say something…I'm sure I was about to say something. When his phone rang in that tone that I didn't know who it belonged to.

"I have to go Bells." He groaned as he left my office as angry as he came in.

He didn't even say goodbye. But I didn't notice at that moment.

My mind rushed at a million images. I couldn't bear it. I had so many questions in my mind, and my normal response would have been to let them settle themselves.

_Everything got better with time, right? _

_No. _

That wasn't my way of thinking anymore. I didn't know what I planned to do, but I knew I had to see Emmett.

It was a gut feeling. Some type of intuition that told me that Emmett needed someone. I was going to be that someone.

I grabbed my gray University of Forks sweater from my closet; it was only 30 degrees outside. It rained in the morning and the ground was still wet but the weather was only foggy and damp when I got out of my building.

I headed in the direction of the campus park. I was determined to pay Emmett a visit. I was determined to save his life.

I was grateful that I wore so much fabric on my body; 2 long sleeve shirts, a sweater, a sweat shirt, tights, sweat pants, and 2 pairs of socks. Most of all though, I was grateful for my sneakers. They were Alice Stamped, but the grips on the bottom of them were so reliable that they kept me from slipping with every step.

It took me nearly an hour to get to the Athletic section of our University and I managed to keep my balance through the trek in the park. There was almost no one in the park, after all it was a Friday afternoon. I forgot about my classes for the day, Emmett was more important.

I checked the gymnasium and pools; no Emmett. The football stadium was closed. The basketball, handball, and tennis courts were all deserted. I went into the fitness center; it was empty except for a figure all the way in the back.

_Found him. _

I walked towards him slowly. He was shirtless, and in red boxing shorts. He looked like a hairless human version of a savage bear. His body was beaded with droplets of sweat and his brows were scrunched together in deep concentration. He hissed out his breathing as he wailed on the punching bag. His feet shuffled and his elbow connected with the bag, then right hook, left hook, shuffle and 5 sets of straight punches. He hit the bag so hard that it cried out in protest and the hook connecting it to the ceiling squeaked.

I stood a few feet away from him, he still didn't notice me. His hands reached for the left side of the bag and his right knee connected with it 5 times as he growled out in frustration.

He was an animal.

I was scared.

He returned to punching the bag.

"He-hey Em." I said softly hoping not to catch him off guard.

He hit the bag harder.

I cleared my throat. He hissed louder with each hit, he was doing sets of hook punches to the sides of the bag. It trembled violently from his massive force.

"Remember me?" I asked hoping he would stop hitting the bag.

Low right hook, low left hook, right elbow, left elbow, right straight punch, left straight punch, grip, knee, knee, high left hook, high right hook.

"Ummm….I was just…just wondering…"

"GO AWAY BELLA." He snarled my name.

I stepped back.

Right hook, left hook, he shuffled his legs, and did a 4 sets of straight punches.

"Em…are you okay?" My arms crossed my chest and my hands gripped my shoulders. I wasn't going to leave. I needed to stay.

"Does it FUCKING look like I'm okay." He stopped hitting and turned to look at me. His eyes were bloodshot and wide with fury. "Tell me Bella. With all your great Sherlock fucking Homes deductive skills. Do I fucking look okay?" He snaps a left straight punch at the bag to prove his point.

"I was…I…just…I'm here…if you know, you want to talk."

He looked at me, his expression remained the same, and I felt my body shake in fear. I didn't want to be his new punching bag.

He spoke again, this time his voice was cool and collective. "I'm going for a run." Sweat rolled down his face but it looked like a tear streamed out of his eye as he walked past me.

My body was frozen. I stood there until I heard the door to fitness center open and close. I collected myself, letting what just happened sink in and then rushed out the door without a second thought. I was not going to leave him. I was not going to let him get away.

I saw him power walking through the tennis courts and towards the park. I ran towards him.

_Left foot, right foot. _

I didn't trip.

I came to a jog as I neared him, he looked at me – he was crying there was no mistaking the tears for sweat anymore.

"I'm not leaving." I declared.

He gave me a dirty and disgusted look and immediately broke into a jog. I ran after him. I was not going to leave him. I was not going to fall. I was not going to let him be alone. I was going to be there for him. My breathing turned into gasps and gulps within minutes, it was so hard to keep up with him on the trail. There were so many hills.

"Bella leave me the fuck alone." He growled as he sped up.

"No!" I yelled as I huffed and puffed.

Suddenly he turned left into the forest.

He was trying to get away from me.

I turned left into the forest after him.

There was a rock. The grass was wet. There was no path.

My ankle touched the floor, my legs twisted, I lost balance, and I fell down the hill. My back slammed into a small tree and I tried to get up but my leg protested and I slipped again, rolling down the hill. Branches and twigs scrapped me and everything around me was becoming a green blur. I screamed.

Something stopped me, I opened my eyes and looked over – there was a fallen tree in my way. It stopped me from rolling down the hill to the very bottom. I laid on my back trying to catch my breath and calm my heart. Within 2 gasping breathes Emmett was running down the hill towards me screaming, "Bella, Bella! Bells! Bella!" All anger that was previously in his voice was replaced his honest worry.

He slid to his knees near my head; he didn't know what to touch. "Bells. Are you okay?" He asked as he reached over to grab me but I screamed, "No! Don't touch me!"

He looked hurt; he brought his hands back to him without protest. He probably only wanted to examine me for injuries.

"Let me call the police and get a doctor to look at you." He said reaching into his pocket for his cell phone.

I tried to lift my hands up to grab it from him, but a dozen needles of pain shot up my left arm. I wasn't able to move it. His concentration at that moment was on his phone and he didn't notice my wince of pain in mine. I quickly composed my face.

With my right hand I snatched the phone from him and stuffed it down my shirt. The look on his face would have been hilarious and brought me to laughter in any other circumstance, but I was too busy trying to hide the pain of my arm from him to express anything but a blankness.

"No police, no touching. I want to talk to you." I tried to make my voice was level as possible. I didn't want it to give away anything.

"What?" He was stunned.

"I want to know what happened to you. I want you to tell me. I don't want you to keep it in. And I don't want you to punch Jasper." I said and my hands balled into two tight fists as tried to keep the screams of pain locked up inside me.

"You're absolutely. Utterly. Completely. Undeniably. Insane you know that?"

"Yes I do." I gave him a cocky smile.

"Let's get you out of here please. You're all scratched up. I can't do this. Give me my phone."

"No." I was stern; I stuffed it down my shirt for a reason.

"Bella I can't do this."

"Yes you can. It's like telling a story. I'll listen you talk."

"I can't."

"I refuse to move."

_I can't move. _

"Bella this is stupid."

"Emmett you're being stupid."

He chuckled and looked down at me. "If I tell you, will you let me check you to make sure you're not hurt?"

"Tell me first, check me out later." I said with a wink. He chuckled again, the friendly smile returned to his face. I had managed to calm him down.

"Please Emmett." I begged him.

"Okay. I'm sorry for scaring you earlier." He gave in. "And I'm sorry for punching Jasper."

I was satisfied and lifted my head and shoulders up slightly and twisted myself around a bit, making sure not to move my left arm. I placed my head on his lap. "I'm ready." I said with a smile.

He brushed my face off gently and got dirt and little twigs out of my hair before he began talking.

"It's really stupid."

"I don't care."

"It won't make you happy."

"It won't make me happy if you leave anything out or lie." My arm started to become numb.

"Okay. But I swear the second I finish I'm carrying you to do The damn Center."

"And no sooner or else I'll beat you up!" I teased.

He smirked. "You really are something."

* * *

And that's all I have edited so far

R&R please

Thank you for reading :D


	12. Real men cry

"Okay. So…no. Wait. Okay, let me start from the beginning. It's going to sound like a biography. Or autobiography. Whichever." He looked out into the damp green forest as he spoke.

"Get on with it Em." I said rolling my eyes not wanting to lecture him about narrations. He looked over his shoulders and then back down at me. He stared at me for at least 30 seconds examining if I could handle what he had to say. He looked back into the forest and began;

"Heh, so alright. So in high school I was your average jock. I went to a school in the middle of nowhere. Fucking Palmdale California. Seriously nothing to do. So I had sex, got drunk and played sports. And went dirt biking; I have so many damn scars from that." He looked down on me; his eyes were gentle as he reminisced.

"There was nothing going for me. I wasn't good at anything except sports, getting into fights, and making girls orgasim." He looked as though he was waiting for me to become disgusted or offended; I wasn't either. I listened carefully without judging him.

"I wasn't close with my folks. Hell, I just about hated them. I slept over my girlfriend-of-the-week's place usually. And these girlfriends didn't care how I treated them. They were so god damn fake. All of them. All they cared about was their makeup and weight, like there weren't bigger problems out there. Well I guess in Palmdale that was the biggest problem. Heh. I had no respect for anyone. I visited the dean at least once a week but I never got in trouble, she went easy on me as long as I did a few favors…thooose kinds of favors. I never met a girl worth keeping. They were all the same, at 14 at 20 and at 30." He gave me a gentle smile as if to reassure me I wasn't one of those girls. I refused to say anything; I wanted him to say everything and anything without any interruptions from my side. He continued after clearing his throat.

"During my senior year I got recruited for USC's football team. There was no way my grades would have ever gotten me in. My parents were thrilled that they could tell people I got into USC. I think my dad actually said he was proud of me." He rolled his eyes as he gently caressed my face.

"I had no plans for the summer, and Palmdale was like I said – boring as fuck. I couldn't move until late August and I had 3 months of nothing to do. One day, I think it was around spring break. Because that was around the time when I blew up Sulpicia's car. She was a damn piece of trash. I hated women, but I lusted after them. So it was lose lose kind of situation."

It was hard to imagine this side of Emmett; he was so respectful to Esme, Rosalie, and myself.

"I saw a flyer in school when I was ditching one of my classes to go get high. It was about a foreign exchange trip for the summer. You went and helped out in some country and got paid 100 bucks a week. Room and board was taken care of and so was food. My thoughts were on foreign beer and sex with foreign girls. So I signed up. My G.P.A was something like a 2.1, but I fucked the teacher who was in charge of it and with a little bit of blackmail I was in."

I tried to ignore the fact that he had sex with a teacher. Being one myself, I could never imagine having any type of physical relationship with my students. They were like my children and I was their mother. Mothers don't have sex with their sons…And I was nearly 10 years older than most of them.

"I could always get anything I wanted from people. I guess that was another reason Palmdale was so damn boring. I never had to work at anything. I was born with good athletic skills and good looks. Back then that was all that mattered. That was all that anyone cared about, I didn't realize how stupid I was. Anyway…

I was going to be sent to this place called Ukraine. The town thing was called Oshgarod. And I was going to help construct an elementary school. Now, first off I had no idea what Ukraine was or where it was or anything. I really didn't care. It gave me something to do during the summer. I couldn't stand another minute of my life in Palmdale. I would have lived in the bottom of the Black Sea to escape Palmdale if I had to."

He bent his neck down towards mine and gave me a kiss on the forehead and smiled. He was checking my temperature. I smirked at him knowingly and watched his adam's apple bounce around as he continued to tell his story.

"So June 2nd School was over. June 3rd I had my first orgy and later got so drunk I threw up blood. And June 4th I left for Ukraine with the worlds' biggest hang over. The flight was like 30 hours long."

It was more like 9…I knew my geography.

"I had to transfer planes, and then it took the car like 3 hours before we even arrived in the town. I slept through almost the whole trip. I was so hung over. I never drank that much again…ever.

The whole town was simple, that's the best way to describe it. Nothing fancy. It had parks, it was green, almost all the buildings were run down, and most of the streets weren't paved. There were tons of graphitti and a lot of crime. The house I stayed at wasn't any different from the rest. Electricity went out often, no hot water after 6, and no water after midnight. That's all I really remember of the house. Oh and it leaked like crazy during storms.

I shared it with 5 other guys. All of them were Ukrainian born but they all spoke chopped up English. I got along with them pretty well, and holy fuck can they drink. Vodka vodka vodka. I think it's easier to buy a bottle of Vodka there than a bottle of water. I have no idea how you and Eddie can drink that crap. After the first two shots I was as fucked up as a drunken monkey on E."

I giggled at him. My arm had lost all feeling. I ignored it. It was getting really cold and the sun was setting behind the trees. I could see the fog breathe coming out of Emmett's mouth as he talked. He seemed unaffected by the cold even though he was without a shirt. His body didn't even have gooseflesh while mine refused to disappear.

"Heh, so we started work. It was some heavy duty crap. Lifting, pulling, pushing…it was just crazy. I gained like 10 pounds of muscle that summer. They didn't have money for machines so everything was handled by us and another 2 groups of guys. After work we'd go to a bar, get drunk and get laid and then the day would start all over again. It was like I was back in Palmdale except I didn't understand anything that people said to me. Well not totally like Palmdale, the girls were prettier and they did have a bit more class. But soon as they found out I was American, they were all over me. Heh.

The guys tried to teach me some Ukrainian and I picked up a few things. Still couldn't read for shit. Their language looks worse than Japanese with all the boxes and dashes and squiggly things. Not like I could speak Japanese…whatever you get it.

This one time…I think it was after a month of being there cuz I actually started understanding when our boss gave us orders in Ukrainian. The playground we built in the very beginning was supposed to open that day, and kids were going to be playing there. I remember him telling us that. During my lunch break I went to check out the playground, not at the kids but at the MILFs. I'm telling you those Ukrainian mommies were hotties."

He began to play with my hair and our eyes were glued to each other. He broke from his story for a moment, "you know – you are a really easy person to talk to." I gave him a smile. My body felt so weak and cold, I didn't want to risk saying something and him hearing the uneasiness or pain in my voice. He looked back into the dimming forest and his hand froze on my forehead as he continued talking. It felt so warm against my cold skin.

"I noticed a girl there. She looked around my age, give or take a year or two. She had sunshine yellow hair, and wore the most beautiful rose red dress I'd ever seen. She danced around with a few elementary school looking kids. She was singing some Ukrainian song and they were giggling to it. I was…I can't…I mean…She was beautiful. Beyond beautiful, she was…she pulled something from inside of me. The world seemed brighter with her in it all of a sudden. I didn't know her name. I didn't know who she was. But all I could think about was that….was that this was the woman I wanted to marry. That was my first thought. I didn't think about having sex with her. I didn't think about rocking her world. I didn't think about her naked. What I thought about was spending the rest of my life with her. Getting old together…

I wanted her to be mine. Only mine. Can you even imagine feeling like that with just one look of a person you've never seen? I mean I was blown away with everything I felt. She looked at me and gave me a smile. That smile had knocked me off my feet. It wasn't just her model body that captivated me. But it was everything about her. The way she moved, the way she smiled, the way her eyes looked from side to side at the children, or the way she blinked when the wind blew too hard.

Her voice was so angelic to me and when she laughed I thought it was the sound of a goddess. I stared at her the whole half hour I had free, I even forgot to eat. I just couldn't take my eyes off her. I wanted to watch her forever. Just watch her forever. To be near her forever. God, that's all I wanted.

It took my boss to yell at me and threaten to send me back to my country and then literally pull me back to work because my eyes refused to disconnect from the perfection that was her. I worked with my head in the clouds, thinking about her. Wondering what her name was, how old she was, what was her favorite food, what music she liked. I wanted to know everything about her.

I hated the fact that I spent more time getting drunk than learning the language. I wanted to approach her…but I was scared to talk to her, because what if she didn't understand me, and worse what if I didn't understand her?

Work ended at 8, and we all usually went to the bar. But I didn't go. I went to the playground with hope that she would still be there. She wasn't. It was dark and woman never walked alone at night around there. But I still had hope, ya know?

I sat on the bench and stared at the playground imaging her there. I replayed the images from earlier that day with her in them. I imagined her still dancing around in a circle while holding other kids hands. I pretended I could hear her voice, her laughter, and see her flash a smile at me.

That's when I noticed something under the bar things… uh umm…oh – monkey bars. There was a red rose and a letter. It said 'ya dumayou scho ya kokhayou vas.' Now I had no idea what it meant. I didn't even know if it was meant for me.

But when I sniffed the rose, it smelled like how I imagined she would smell. My gut told me that the rose was her flower. I desperately wanted to believe it was her and at that point I would have probably used any logic to convince myself that it was from her.

I stopped about 5 people on the way to my house to ask them what the words in the letter meant but none of them spoke English. Finally a young girl, who I would have found attractive earlier told me it meant, 'I think that I love you'.

She thought she loved me. She really thought she loved me. Can you believe that? Someone loved me? Someone felt the same way about me that I felt about them? It was incredible. I never felt so happy in my life. No football championships, no other girl, no award, no amount of money, nothing could possibly make me happier than what I felt that day.

The next day, lunch went by the same way as the day before. Except this time she looked at me more and smiled at me wider. We were flirting without talking to each other. I wanted to approach her, but what dumb thing would I tell her? I could barely hold a conversation about the weather and I wanted to profess my undying love to this woman.

I stopped going to the bar and clubs, instead I bought dozens of English to Ukrainian books. I studied for hours. I never so much as studied for something as important as the SATs, but for this girl I'd learn another language. I didn't even want to return to America. As far as I was concerned, I'd live in Ukraine the rest of my life just to be with her. I didn't care about USC or football. Hell I didn't even notice other girls anymore. I brushed everyone off. She was the center of my life."

A tear streamed down his cheek, rolled to his chin and landed on my cheek. I wanted to comfort him. But I had no idea how. I could tell that it hurt him so deeply to recall his past. I only hoped that he would feel at the end.

"A month passed and I still didn't have the guts to approach her. Every day she wore a dress that made my heart stop, and a smile that melted me from head to toe. When she looked at me, my brain stopped working and my jaw wanted to hang at my feet like in cartoons, heh. It was just so intense. To see her playing with the kids, to tickle them and laugh with them was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. I almost thought I was hallucinating because I didn't believe someone like that existed.

One day she approached me when I was leaning against the half built school building watching her. She spoke fluent and beautiful Ukrainian to me. Her voice was like the sweet song of birds in the morning.

I didn't understand a word she said. I looked at her dumbly, and she waited for my response. She repeated herself slower, but still I couldn't understand her.

I was right though; she did smell like roses, only better. Heh.

Her eyes looked sad when she realized I didn't understand her. She must have thought I was retarded or something."

He chuckled again and closed his eyes shaking his head from side to side. He took a deep breath and continued. It was completely dark now, and I felt as though my body had turned to ice but I didn't dare move or try to warm myself up.

"I apologized to her in English quietly as I was about to walk away – giving up on the possibility of an 'us'. Her hand grabbed me; her skin was so soft and smooth. It sent chills up my spine. I got an adrenalin rush from just her touch. No woman had ever had ever invoked such a crazy response from me. A touch of her hand sent my heart rushing a million beats a second. I turned around and looked at her. Into her perfect blue eyes. She was a rose floating in the ocean.

She said, 'my name is Rosalie. It's a pleasure to meet you.' You have no idea how surprised I was. She spoke English! And not just broken up English like everyone else, but she spoke fluently. I found out that she wasn't even from Ukraine but from Italy. I introduced myself to her and when she repeated my name I thought I would start jumping up and down from happiness. I asked to see her again and she agreed to meet me after work.

She kept her word and waited for me in the playground. She didn't even look scared to be sitting alone in the playground after dark. She was like a Picasso picture just waiting to be painted. We walked around together till the break of dawn when I had to get to work. Sleep wasn't important anymore. All I needed was her around to function. When we walked around we would talk about everything and anything. She told me all the random details of her life and I told her mine. I could write a book about her from all we talked about.

And that's how we passed week after week. Every weekend we traveled on the bus to another town and explored it together. We climbed mountains, we danced in clubs, we went swimming, we ran and raced each other. God she was the most amazing woman I ever met in my whole life.

But life is cruel isn't it. It has to take away your happiness. It just has to."

He bit his lip and his body trembled slightly as he recalled the emotional pain he felt.

"She had to leave soon, back to Italy for a month and then she would go to Israel. She told me she couldn't disobey her father. She told me how much she hated the life she lived and the only sanity she got was to travel everywhere as much as possible. Where she could be anyone she wanted to be. Where she could smile without having to point her nose up to the sky. Where she could dance without having to be graceful. Where she could be rich with happiness instead of money.

I begged her to stay. I begged and begged, swearing to her I'd take care of her.

But she refused.

I told her that I loved her; she told me that she loved me.

But she still left me.

We never even had sex, and I never even pushed the topic of sex on her. I hadn't gone 2 days since I turned 16 without sex, but the day I met her I no longer wanted empty lustful desires. I needed her. Just her.

She refused over and over again each time saying she loved me. She begged me not to stay in Ukraine and to go back to America. She told me she wanted me to get a college education and do well in school. She said that's what she wanted from me. How could I deny her? I couldn't. She had tears in her eyes when she begged me. Tears in those ocean eyes. I couldn't do anything but obey her wishes.

I gave her my California address where I would be staying at for USC. She told me she would write. I told her writing wasn't enough for me. Then she asked me if I'd wait for her. I told her I'd wait forever for her. She told me that she would make us work eventually.

I believed her. She sealed that promise with the first really passionate kiss between us. I remember that first real kiss. I had never kissed anyone with my emotions on my lips like that. It's like speaking with lips and tongue but not really saying anything."

Emmett let out another deep sigh and looked down at me, although I doubted he could see me that well. It was nearly pitch black except for the moonlight. The forest bugs were singing in the background to his story.

"The morning she left I saw a transformation within her.

Her lips changed shape, her eyes grew dull, and her clothes became constricting. She didn't wear a red sundress or a smile on her face. She didn't walk with a bounce in her step but walked in a straight line. She didn't look like my Rose.

She gave me a final kiss goodbye that was pathetic in comparison to the other kiss. And then she left into a sleek black limo. Nothing I did would change her mind. She wouldn't stay. I watched her limo steal her away from me.

I was left alone. The last two weeks in Ukraine were the worst of my life. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't concentrate, and I couldn't do anything without thinking of her. I didn't talk to anyone, I didn't go anywhere. I ran a lot during those two weeks. Any chance I got, I went running like I was chasing her. I wished I could go to Italy, to go after her but I didn't have the money and had no idea where she lived."

He choked back a sob and his fist had gripped my hair tightly.

"God Bella. That…that was hell. Worse than hell, because I couldn't get used to it. I couldn't grow numb. Every single moment was worse than the last. I hated it. I hated breathing. I hated existing. I hated being without her. Coming to America only made it worse. I was so fucking far away from her. All I had were memories and no proof that they were real.

I did poorly during the first month of class and even worse in football. I knew they were going to kick me out soon…I wasn't living up to my reputation."

He took a deep breath and wiped the tears from his eyes with the palm of his dirty hand.

"But then at the end of that month I received a package. A huge box. When I opened it, it had a letter from every day that we were apart. They were all from her. Each letter was half English and half Ukrainian. In English she told me what she did that day, and what happened and how she was feeling. In Ukrainian she wrote me love poems and songs. She confessed her secrets to me in those.

She never included a return address; she said it was because she didn't want to get caught. I wanted to write her back, I wanted to tell her how much she meant to me. I wanted to tell her how much I loved her.

In a letter she said if I wanted to prove my love to her I would do well in school and make a name for myself. I did just that. My grades went from F's to A's and I once again became the star on the football team. I had a reason to live. She wanted me to live. I would live for her as long as she wanted me.

I worked my ass off every day, and I bought a journal notebook thing. Each day I wrote a letter back to her. I could never send those letters, but I needed to write them. For her. Eventually it turned to 2 journals, then 3, now I have over 30.

For 2 years I received a box of letters at the end of every month.

I never dated, I never drank, I never went out. I practiced, studied, worked out, and learned Ukrainian till I was fluent enough to read her letters without a dictionary.

Then a thin long box came. It was unlike her other boxes. I was worried when I opened it but it wasn't anything bad. It was her first present to me. The best present I had ever received. It was a painting that she painted of us in Ukraine. It was of both of us dancing in a ballroom with roses all around the boarder. In the back of the picture frame, was the date she drew it, her signature and a letter tapped to the corner.

The letter literally revved up my heart and revived it back to the intense storage of emotions it once was for her. She said to pick her up from Los Angeles International Airport at 5:00 PM on August 21st. I reread that about 15 times before I believed it was real. She stayed with me for 4 months; it was one of the best four months of my life. At first it was hard because she was still in her Italy mode, but within a few days she broke through her façade and she was back to my rose.

We made love for the first time. It was incredible. Her body connected with mine and we became one. It was like she was built for me, everything about her fit together with me perfectly.

She came to watch me at my football games, and cheered me on. She sat in for my classes and we passed each other notes like we were still in high school. We went to house parties and danced around to crappy American techno.

She loved California and I loved having her in California. She burned so easily though. Heh, I remember when we went to the beach and she forgot the sun screen, she was a red tomato the next day. I made sure to kiss every inch of her burnt skin to make her feel better and I didn't mind doing that at all. I loved touching her. I always held her hand, even when we slept cuddled together. I sometimes didn't even sleep but just laid with her in my arms and watched her sleep.

Man, life was always so perfect with her. But she had to leave me again.

Always fucking has to leave me.

It broke my heart to see her go AGAIN. Again I wasn't good enough for her to stay with me. She wasn't convinced I could give her the life she wanted. When she left I changed my major from liberal Arts to Sports Medicine. I was determined to become good enough for her.

The letters were the only thing that connected us to each other, and yet again I couldn't send her shit. It wasn't fucking fair. It wasn't fair at all."

My heart was breaking from his story. I felt terrible at how I had judged Rosalie, I had misunderstood so much. I could hear the pain and heart break in his voice; it was so hard for him. He probably never shared this story with anyone else before.

"I graduated college, and was recruited to professional football but I refused. I got my masters in Sports Medicine and worked in the school, saving as much money as I could. I couldn't go to see Rosalie, I had no idea what country she was in. She would sometimes tell me in a letter, but then the next one mentioned another country.

One month she didn't send me anything. Then the next month nothing. I was a fucking wreck. The only thing that kept me sane was the letters I already had from her. Finally after 4 months I received a single letter from her. It said, "Move to Forks. I'll be in the University January 20th."

I dialed to that school begging for a job there. I swore I'd work as the janitor if I had to. Esme obviously wouldn't have that. Heh, their football coach wasn't even a real coach. He was a gym teacher, and they gladly reassigned him to make room for me.

Finally I was with Rosalie once more. Finally she was within reach. Finally I could touch her again.

I bought us a house here in Forks. A nice big house with all the money I saved up. It had everything she loved. Rocking chairs, empty frames for her favorite photographs and paintings, colorful flowers in vases, orange curtains, blue carpets…every fucking thing she ever told me she wanted. I gave to her in that house. I bought her painting supplies, the best I could get. And those professional cameras and even that stupid rotating vase making thing. Every-fucking-thing. I bought her stationary and journals and books on her favorite artiest to fill up the library room. I even bought her a huge stuffed duck because she saw one in China once and thought it was cute.

I wanted to show her how important she was to me. How much I wanted her. How I'd do anything…anything…absolutely anything to make her happy."

He couldn't talk anymore. He was choking on his own words trying to hold back the sobs.

"Oh Emmett." I said trying to lift my arm up but I had no energy to.

"She broke up with me Bell. She called it off. She said I'd never be good enough for her. She said she never wanted to see me again."

My heart ached for him. I felt hopeless that I couldn't do anything. I wanted to make all his pain and worries go away but I wasn't Rosalie. I couldn't do that. Only she could. I didn't believe time could fix Emmett. Time can't fix heartbreak from true love – ever. My father was proof of that.

We were still for while, Emmett cried and I laid on his lap unable to do anything. When Emmett released all his emotions out of his eyes he looked down at me, his cheeks were still damp from tears and glistened in the moonlight.

_Whoever said real men don't cry has never been in love. _

"Don't give up." I begged him, my voice was quivering.

"Thank you Bella." He whispered and bent down to kiss my forehead again. "Holy fuck." His voice changed from soft and gentle to angry and frustrated. "You're frozen. Come on we have to get you out of here." I couldn't believe how quickly he put his feelings aside because he was worried about me. He probably didn't want to talk about it anymore either.

"You should have told me you were cold." The irony of me being frozen while he was in shorts and still shirtless was comical. I rolled my eyes but when I felt him trying to pick me up I shouted in excruciating pain.

"Fuck fuck fuck!! Stop!! Please stop! OW!" I screamed at Emmett and he placed me back down. He climbed over me to examine my left arm.

"Oh my god." I heard him whisper and I tried to look over my shoulder. I didn't see anything.

"This is going to hurt." He glanced down at me. "A lot."

I looked at him helplessly. He went inside my shirt and got his cell phone. I didn't say anything as he dialed the school emergency line.

"Carlisle?"

"I need an ambulance at the Athletic center."

"In front of the park."

"Bella."

"It's an emergency." His voice was urgent.

"Thank you."

He hung up and looked down at me and placed his phone on my stomach.

"Bite on your sweater." He took neckline of my sweater and placed it near my mouth; I took it without saying anything. "A tree branch went into your arm. I have to pull it out and stop the bleeding."

"Jesus, you're as white as a ghost. I can't believe I didn't notice sooner." He growled at me as he straddled me from my waist tightly. "Bite hard and scream as loud as you want but don't fidget." His voice was full of authority. He grabbed the cell phone from my stomach, opened it, and put it in his mouth. He directed the light towards my arm. "Don't look." He said.

I closed my eyes tightly and took a deep breath preparing to scream my lungs out. I felt my arm burst into flames and every muscle in my body tighten up as my screams were muffled into my sweater.

Everything went black.

* * *

Thank you so much for reading!! And the reviews are very encouraging and wonderful! I'm so glad people are enjoying the story so far. :)

And I have to apologize, I wont be able to do another 7 chapter update anytime soon. lol. I had typed up the story up to the last chapter a few weeks ago, so I only had to edit it a bit and upload. I typed this one up from scratch a few days ago and edited it today.Hopefully I'll get another chapter done before the weeks over.

And isn't Emmetts love wonderful? He loves her so much...


	13. He kissed me?

I realize I was coming back to consciousness when the distant rhythmic beeping of medical machines grew nearer and nearer. My suspicions of being inside a hospital or The Center were confirmed when I heard Carlisle speak in his soft caring voice.

"She's coming to."

Besides my hearing, all my other senses were nonexistent for a while. But slowly everything was coming back. My eye lids went from pitch black to dull red. I could smell the hint of the fluoric fragrances of flowers and eventually it became overwhelming.

Even as reality was returning to me, I still could not feel anything. I was probably doped up with enough morphine to knock out an elephant. I wanted to moan, or groan, or show any sign that I wasn't a mute but my body was still recovering from amnesia. Everything was still dim.

Suddenly I felt a gentle squeeze on my hand and Emmett's deep masculine voice rang in my ear and I could feel his hot breath inches away from my skin.

"Oh Bella, I'm so sorry. They had to chop of your arm."

_My arm?! _

_My arm was gone!? _

_I can't live without an arm! _

The machines connected to me began to beep rapidly as my heart accelerated. My eyes darted open and they burned like when you kept your eyes open in the pool for too long. I found my voice, and it gave a pathetic whimper as my head shook from side to side. My vision slowly returned to me but was clouded by my newly formed tears.

I felt soft strong lips push against mine. They smelled like apples. My shaking and tossing stopped. I wasn't sure if I should kiss back…

"Shhhhh…" Emmett's voice whispered as his lips moved up against mine. "I kid."

_Oh my god..._

My heart returned to normal. I could eventually see his face clearly, he had gray eyes – I never noticed. His eyes were covered with dark rings from lack of sleep. I wanted to hit him for lying to me, and for kissing me. I just wanted to hit him like he hit Jasper. To leave a mark.

I was gasping for air when our lips departed and I heard Carlisle chuckle in the background. My face grew red…or at least it should have. I became engulfed with embarrassment.

_I just got kissed by Emmett. _

"How do you feel?" Carlisle spoke softly as he flipped the pages on his clipboard. I slowly moved my head to look at him, but quickly turned back around. The light from the window behind him was blinding.

_He saw Emmett kiss me…_

"Hot." I said with a hoarse voice, my body felt like it was on fire.

_Emmett kissed me…_

"Well you are smoking hot." Emmett said laughing to himself as he sat on my bed.

_He kissed me…_

My eyes trailed from his body and I looked around. I was in one of The Center's medical rooms. My body was wrapped around thin white sheets and my left arm was wrapped up in bandages. Between small gaps in the bandages wires came out.

Emmett was sitting on the edge of my bed by my waist. He was wearing a red shirt with TROGANS printed in yellow lettering and white basketball shorts.

My head turned, Carlisle was on the left side of me next to the machines I was connected to. I couldn't make out the machines because of the light, but there were at least 3 computers shaped and I could make out an I.V nearby. I cleared my throat as my eyes traveled away from the, evil, medical equipment.

In front of my bed was a plastic white table filled with colorful spring blooming flowers and Get Well Soon hallmark cards that were probably from my students. Up against the wall near the door were 4 empty black cushioned chairs. The walls were a soft blue with yellow, pink, and purple palm sized stars all around. I remembered when Esme took it upon herself to redecorate The Center's medical facilities. I admired her work for a moment. She had painted every room all by herself; it had a sense of youth about it. I felt like the walls belonged in a nursery instead of a hospital room.

"Well if your temperature increases I'll start you on steroids, otherwise you should be fine. I'll check up on you in a little bit." He touched my left shoulder, I saw the action but I couldn't feel it, it was too gentle. "The wound was pretty serious, and we even had to do minor surgery for it. When it heals it will look like a bullet wound."

"You can become a rapper now." Emmett teased and I exhaled a sarcastic smile.

Carlisle chuckled and made his way to the door but he stopped in front of the door frame. "By the way, what were you doing in the park at night?" Carlisle asked.

"Jogging." Emmett said. Carlisle raised his eyebrow at me.

"Jogging." I said, my voice sounded better.

"Uh huh. That's what they're calling it nowadays." He mumbled as he left before I could deny anything.

I turned to Emmett with a fierce glare. "You kissed me!" I screeched in a tone that was unfamiliar to me.

"Pretty gross wasn't it?"

…_.YES! _

Emmett chucked and turned around to grab one of the chairs up against the wall and pulled it to my bedside. "I'm sorry Bells." He placed his elbows on the edge and leaned closer to me. "I like you." He said.

I stared.

"Okay fine don't like me too. I see how it is." He said with his voice full of false heartbreak. "I just, I thought that maybe kissing another girl wouldn't be so bad – ya know? And I like you, so I thought; hey why not. And by the way, that was the most disgusting kiss ever. Like kissing a sister." He said with a cringe.

"You're a terrible kisser." I retorted and he chuckled. I smiled. "So what are you going to do?" I asked implying the situation with him and Rosalie.

"I'm not going to give up on Rose." He said in a matter-of-fact tone.

"I'm glad."

I really was. There was no way she would be able to reject him forever…at least I hoped that. I realized it was unfair for me to be completely on Emmett's side, but I just couldn't see any reason to reject him except him not owning a couple of hundred billion dollars… was her love for him really so fickle?

"So guess who canceled their lecture and nearly sent the SWAT team searching for you?" Emmett said with a devilish grin.

_Edward? _

I didn't say anything.

"He's been coming in to check on you a lot."

_Edward? _

"Who?" I tried to sound stupid but I think pathetic would have been better description.

Before Emmett could say anything Alice bounced in the room with 4 plastic bags in her hands and Esme by her side.

Alice wore a tiny black miniskirt and black socks that went up to her thighs. She had on a tight black long sleeved low cut shirt and a blue scarf that Esme had knitted for her last year. Her blue dancer shoes matched the scarf right down to the hue and threading. She looked like she just came out of a Hollywood movie set. Not a hair out of place, and her makeup made her face look like a manikin.

"Wakie wakie sleepy head!! Carlisle said you were up!!"

_Jesus…any louder? _

I didn't realize how softly Emmett was talking till I heard Alice's excited screams. Alice dropped the bags nearby and bent over shuffling through them. When she stood up again, a flashing light made me close my eyes tightly in irritation. She took a picture.

"What the" I began.

"I am making a scrap book of every time you get sent to the hospital!"

Emmett bawled out laughing. Esme left Alice's side and sat down silently in one of the seats up against the wall. She wore gray slacks, gray shoes, and a soft red sweater. The only bright thing she had was a large orange shoulder bag that she placed on her lap. She normally dressed in bright spring colors that screamed happiness but today she looked like my grandmother. When she noticed me staring at her she gave me a soft smile but her expression showed that she was distressed.

"How are you feeling sweetheart?" Esme asked as Alice leaped onto my bed and straddled my legs. Emmett and Alice exchanged two huge smiles.

"I'm alive." I said to Esme. I wanted to tell her I was doing great but lying to Esme was against the laws of physics.

"I wish you a speedy recovery." Esme said.

"So… we brought foooooooood!" Alice squealed. She was obviously putting on an act. She was never that hyper.

"Whatcha get?" Emmett asked leaning away from me.

"We went to Boston Market; I figured I might as well check out the competition for my restaurant." She said jumping off the bed again and returned to the bags she dropped moments ago.

"We got mashed potatoes with that chunky stuff and chicken. Lots of chicken. And this weird thing." She started to take out the plastic boxes and place them on the open spaces in my bed. "And we got a ton of cornbread; apparently it's like some kind of comfort food. Like chocolate. Hmmm, I should have gotten chocolate. Oh anyway, we have roasted turkey. And and…wait what is this?" She opened a box and sniffed the insides. "Something with garlic!" She exclaimed and closed the box tossing it on the bed. "And we have ice tea, Corona, Jack Daniels, and Pepsi." She placed those on the open spaces on the desk.

"I don't think I can drink." I said.

"Oh it's not for you. The Pepsi is but the rest is for Emmett and me." She smiled.

Apparently Emmett and Alice bonded.

"She thinks I saved your life." Emmett whispered at me. I tried to sit up, but my body wasn't responding to the movements I needed. I gave up; the morphine must have messed with my motor skills.

"Esme?" I asked, and Esme lifted her head and looked at me, her face not changing at all. "Did Carlisle tell you when I'd be free to go?" I didn't feel comfortable in any medical office, even in The Center.

Before Esme could answer Alice chimed in. "Not till thuuuuursday!"

Then I realized I had no idea what day was today. It was Friday when I was with Emmett.

"What day is today?" I asked.

"Monday." Emmett said. Alice danced around handing everyone except me forks, spoons, cups and napkins.

"Why do I need to stay here that long? I'll be great by tomorrow." Carlisle was known to work miracles.

"Oh…"Alice's face fell a bit as she stopped in her tracks. "Well…"

_What did she do…_

"Alice?" I was pretty much ready for just about anything she'd say. Another shopping spree with my closet, coloring my walls, buying a garden sized fountain to somehow fit in my living room, or having an exterminator come into my house as a 'just in case' visit.

"I knocked down your wall." She said handing Emmett his utensils.

_I wasn't ready for that. _

I imagined Alice punching a wall…and I couldn't help laughing.

"No seriously, Alice." I said through my giggles.

"She's serious." Emmett said grabbing a box from my bedside. "We knocked down the wall yesterday, building the frame today. Hopefully the window will be up by Wednesday."

"You're putting a window in my apartment?"

"It's sooooo dark in your living room!"

"Alice, I RENT that place. I don't own it! You can't go knocking it down!"

"Oh no worries, I bought the whole building." Alice walked over to Esme with a meal box. Esme thanked her.

"You bought my building…" I couldn't comprehend it.

"Yes."

"When did you lose your mind?"

"First grade, 1:30 P.M in Taris Elementary school backyard playground on the swing set."

_That was the day she met me._

"Cute." I mumbled. My stomach grumbled.

"Open up." Emmett said with a spoon full of…something… in front of my face.

"What?" I turned my head at him in disbelief.

"You didn't actually think we'd let you use a fork or spoon without supervision did you?" Emmett said sarcastically. "We're starting off slow, now open up."

My stomach growled again, I obeyed. It was mashed potatoes and chunks of meat with gravy.

Alice sat on the bed by my feet as she ate her meal. Emmett shared his meal with me, and we ended up eating two boxes worth of mashed potatoes and meat. Esme didn't move from her spot in the chair by the wall. She didn't speak throughout her whole meal but only chewed silently staring at her food. Esme wasn't usually like that. She would ask us questions and say something encouraging. Esme's silence didn't have any effect on Alice and Emmett as they debated the realism of wrestling.

"Wrestling's as fake as implants." Alice stated as she munched on a piece of half eating cornbread, being very careful not to get any crumbs on her clothes, my bed was another matter all together.

"Maybe that T.V shit, but college wrestling is hardcore." Emmett said downing the rest of his Arizona Ice Tea.

I was more than happy not to be included in their conversation; it really looked like Alice was going to claw at Emmett if he wouldn't agree with her. Alice was starting to scare me.

"Wrestling is for men not boys." Emmett said.

"Yes, men who enjoy being half naked in skin tight leotards and climb on top of each other."

"Well some of us are into foreplay." Emmett teased and Alice growled; she was being serious and Emmett was being playful.

"Wrestling shouldn't even be considered fighting." Alice said finishing her cornbread and drinking it down with Jack Daniels. Her cheeks were already flushed from the half cup of JD she had.

"Do you know how many injuries happen from wrestling?" Emmett stared at Alice in disbelief.

"What do injuries have to do with anything? Bella gets her ass handed to her by walking across the street."

"Wrestling builds your resistance to pain. It makes you tougher and able to handle larger opponents."

"I bet I can make you scream like a little girl." Alice said jumping off my bed and walking towards him.

"One head lock on you little lady and you'll be crying for mommy." Emmett said standing up.

They faced each other.

Alice looked childlike standing next to Emmett. He was twice the size of Alice in every way. I was surprised Esme didn't calm them down or ask them to relax. I opened my mouth to say something, but that's when Alice moved into Emmett and her hands went straight for his ribs.

Emmett burst out into a roaring laughter as he tried to push Alice away gently. "Stop, hahaha, oh my god, haha, Al-haha-Alice! Sto-hahaha-stop stop stop hahahaha."

An uncontrollable laughter escaped me. Who would have imagined the big bad Emmett was ticklish. I even heard Esme giggle in the background at the scene before us.

"Ahem." Everyone stopped and turned their heads to the door. Jasper walked in. He wore a navy blue cotton sweater and dark blue jeans. His black eye had turned yellow and was healing quickly. In his hands he held a small 6 inch vase of orange daffodils for me.

"Hey Jaspy." I said with a smile.

I wasn't worried that Jasper would be offended or uncomfortable with Alice and Emmett being so close. Jasper was the least jealous person on the planet and he trusted Alice unconditionally. At least that was what I believed.

"Hey Bella." Jasper smiled – there was something different about him.

"Excuse me; I'm going to the restroom." Alice said quietly as she moved away from Emmett and walked past Jasper without even giving him a look or greeting. Esme followed her, leaving her bag in her seat.

"Ahem, so how are you doing Bella."

It took me a moment to hear him; I was too busy being shocked at what didn't happen. Alice didn't jump at Jasper and wrap her legs around his waist and she didn't kiss him over and over and tell him how much she missed him.

"I'm okay. Just a few bruises." I debated on asking what was going on with him and Alice. I thought better of it, Alice was my best friend – if I was going to get news about her life, and it would be from her mouth. "My arm's going to have a bullet wound in it. How awesome is that?" I sounded like a kid who was showing off a scar for show-in-tell.

"Hah, I heard." Jasper said setting down the vase of flowers at the very edge of the table as he walked towards me. Emmett returned to his seat beside me almost protectively.

"Hey Emmett." Jasper said extending his hand, Emmett accepted.

"Hey man."

"Thanks for saving Bella." Jasper said wholeheartedly.

"She saved me first." Emmett said tossing me a wink.

"Super Klutz to the rescue. Duna-na-na-na-na." Jasper teased me. I stuck out my tongue. "Sorry Bella, I can't stay. I hope you can get out of this place soon – I know how much you hate it."

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"Well someone has to teach the classes don't they?" He patted my head gently.

"Oh." I said.

_Not the answer I was expecting. _

"I gave novel class a better introduction to the French Revolution, and I'll give the hand outs for Creative Writing."

"Did you grade the novel papers?" I asked.

"I haven't had the time."

_Another answer I was not expecting. _

"Just bring them to me after class. I could use something to do."

"Alright. See you Bella. Emmett." He took his leave.

I looked at Emmett, he looked perplexed.

"I think he's hiding something." I told Emmett, I could not disguise the worry from my voice. Emmett didn't respond right away, he took a moment to pick his words out.

"He smells funny." Emmett finally said.

I realized he was right. Jasper didn't have the fresh peppermint smell to him when he came into the room; he smelled…I sniffed the air…sweet.

Alice walked in while I was trying to figure out what was in the sweet fragrance that Jasper left behind. Alice held a frown tightly across her face, as she picked up Esme's bag and sat in her seat. She took out two knitting needles and a ball of green yarn from it and began to make a slipknot to start knitting.

Emmett stared at her confused….but I knew what knitting meant. She was upset. The last time Alice knitted was when her fiancé 6 years ago left her for another woman. I didn't know what to say.

"Alice..." I spoke softly; my voice was nearly drowned out by the machine's beeping.

"I saw the absolute cutest dress yesterday. It had this wonderful hemming at the sleeves. It was…" Alice continued talking with fake interest for nearly 30 minutes about the dress. She nearly had a foot of fabric made. Her hands worked at impossible speed. When she exhausted the subject of the dress she then began to tell us the advantages of wool to cotton for an hour.

She didn't seem like she was going to stop talking, and neither Emmett nor I dared to interrupt her. Emmett had sensed that something was wrong and he respected Alice far too much to do anything but listen. No matter how little interest he had in what she said.

Carlisle walked in, and Alice stopped talking and only continued knitting. That's when I noticed that Emmett had fallen asleep on the chair beside me. Alice must have bored him into a slumber. I looked at Alice. She had nearly made 4 feet of knitted fabric. She knitted like a manic and never made a mistake, or if she did I didn't notice.

Carlisle had checked all the machines I was connected to, and my temperature. I wasn't hot anymore and he gave me a relieved smile. I noticed that Esme didn't come back when she left with Alice, and she wasn't beside Carlisle like she usually was.

"Where's Esme?" I asked.

"I don't know." Carlisle said simply. "You should be getting to bed soon. Rest will be good for you." He left my room immediately.

He ALWAYS knew where Esme was. Always. I was in pure utter shock. Why were everyone's relationships becoming so messed up? Carlisle and Esme weren't near each other, Alice and Jasper avoided each other, and Rosalie was rejecting Emmett.

_What about me? _

_Edward…? _

_No…_

Alice had gotten up, with the fabric touching the ground and shut off the lights when he left. For an immeasurable amount of time all I heard were the machines, Emmett's soft snoring, and Alice's needles tapping one another rythmaticly. I stared at the ceiling the whole time.

"Alice?" I asked and she stopped knitting.

"Yes?"

"What's happening?"

"With?"

"You and Jasper."

I heard the hesitation in her and her voice cracked when she spoke. "I think he's cheating on me." She said bluntly.

_Impossible…_

"That can't be…" I whispered.

_They have that look…they look at each other that way….it can't be…._

Alice went back to knitting. I felt the tears forming in my eyes. If I felt like the world was coming to an end, I could not even fathom to imagine what Alice was going through.

"Alice." I asked again.

"Yes?" I could hear the pain in her voice.

"Lay with me, please." I asked her. The knitting stopped. I looked over and saw her shadowy figure walking towards me. She placed her half done blanket on Emmett and climbed into the bed with me. She half hugged me, making sure to stay away from my left arm.

She placed her head on my chest and cuddled close. I could hear her uneven breathing and feel the tenseness of her body on mine. Alice eventually broke down and cried. I felt her hot tears being soaked up by my hospital gown. All I could do was cry with her.

"I can't…I can't leave him…" She said between sobs.

I didn't think she could either…

"I lo-lo…I love him." Her hand clenched my waist as she hugged me tightly.

_It's not fair…_

If Emmett was awakened by our sobs, he pretended to still be asleep. Eventually sleep took Alice and me away from reality as well.

* * *

I can't believe I wrote this chapter so quickly. I'm sorry for any grammatical mistakes I missed!! :x

Everyone's reviews are sooooo inspiring!! Thank you!! I am really really grateful! :D

Time to stop procrastinating studying...hehehe


	14. Keeping Busy

**Black. A lot of black. Everything was black. I didn't feel like I was standing or sitting or anything. It was like I was weightless. I was floating in the dark sky. I was free. I enjoyed the feeling. But something told me to make it stop. Something inside me urged me to come back to reality. Or maybe I convinced myself that I was coming back to reality. **

**I opened my eyes, into reality or into another dream – but either way – there he was. He stood up against the door with a look of distress and immense sadness upon his statuesque face. I wanted to reach out to him, but my body didn't move. I wanted to touch him, but he was so far away. I wanted to say something to him, but I had no voice. **

**His brows arched down to shadow over his exotic oval shaped eyes and his beautiful kissable lips were pressed into a tight line. He looked like he was standing near a corpse or heading to a funereal. His aura had darkened his image even more; it was like he, himself, was moments away from being eaten by the darkness itself. I wanted to comfort him. But then the blackness ate him, or maybe the blackness ate me. I was back to floating weightlessly in the dark sky. I didn't feel free anymore, I felt lonely. **

"Good morning!" Alice said kissing my nose softly.

I moaned. I was just stirring; the images from my dream were traveling into the unconsciousness part of my mind. I opened one eye to see Alice, dressed in a tight bright blue silk turtle neck dress and knee high boots. She had her hair spiked up probably with water, and she wore large white gold loop earrings matching the 15 white gold bracelets she wore on her left arm. She had changed.

My body responded to me and I managed to sit up. Alice was getting ready to leave for work. Emmett was cuddled up with Alice's unfinished wool blanket like a teddy bear. He sat sideways in the chair with his legs thrown over the arm rest. His chin was pressed tightly up against his chest and his hair hid his eyes. I didn't know if he was still asleep, his hair looked like it was strategically placed just so I could be unsure.

He wasn't snoring.

I looked back at Alice and forced a smile.

"Good morning." I mumbled back. "What time is it?"

"10 A.M" Alice sang as she grabbed Esme's orange bag from a chair up against the wall. "Edward just left."

That's when bits and pieces from my dream returned to me. Was it a dream? Or a moment that I was pulled back to reality and he was with me. In the same room. Watching me.

_Was Alice sleeping beside me during the dream? _

I didn't remember.

"What did he want?" The words came out in fragments; I was barely able to put them together coherently.

"To make sure you were okay."

_I wished he would have waited for me to wake up…_

I didn't realize what I thought as I watched Alice lean into me and give me another kiss on my nose. I felt the lipstick smear on my nose. I didn't complain. She always gave me nose kisses when I was in the hospital. She turned on the balls of her feet and did a small twirl out the door.

She stopped when she was halfway out the door and turned around, doing a half skip back to me. She reached into her bag and handed me a cell phone. It was my alarm clock of a cell phone.

"Can you just keep this with you?" She asked.

I nodded. I was not about to go into my usual rant and tantrum on how cell phones warp peoples mentalities into moronic, incapable, insufficient, incomprehensible idiots. I didn't complain. She said she would try to visit me in the evening but I knew not to count on it. Alice would keep herself so busy that she would probably end up sleeping in the store just to stay away from Jasper.

I felt lonely for a moment.

But then that moment disappeared.

"I thought she'd never leave." Emmett mumbled as he stood up, placing Alice's knitting on the chair and did a monstrous display of stretching and groaning. "God I'm tired." He yawned as he lifted his arms over his head.

"How long have you been up?" I asked as I rubbed my nose with the heel of my palm, smearing away the lipstick.

"After Edward, before Alice." He said bending down to touch his toes. He was flexible.

_After Edward? _

"After Edward?" I asked clearing my throat.

"He was here when I woke up." He arched his back – I heard a few snaps.

_Should that be creepy? _

_How long did he stay?_

"Oh." I replied dumbly.

"He really likes you. Or at least cares for your existence." Emmett sat back down in his chair and pushed it as close as possible to my side. He yawned again.

Carlisle walked in and Emmett no longer spoke of Edward. Carlisle had a look I was very familiar with. The; _I stayed up all night doing who knows what and no I'm only running on caffeine and half a sense of sanity, _look_._ The moment I made the initiation of asking him about his night he talked medical babble to me and began to unwrap my bandages. Emmett told me to look away, I obeyed. Carlisle continued saying terms that went over my head and I had no idea what he was actually saying except the words "better" and "improvement" were thrown in for my reassurance.

Emmett and I stared at each other throughout the procedure of whatever Carlisle was doing with strange poking, pinching and rubbing of my arm. He rewrapped my sorry excuse of a bicep with new bandages that smelled like oatmeal and a dentist office.

"I'll be able to put you on just over the counter pain killers by tomorrow." He said reaching for my chart and a pen from the top of one of the machines.

"So I can leave tomorrow?"

"If your apartments not in shambles. I saw a bulldozer there a few days ago." Carlisle said as he made marks on my chart.

I groaned and Emmett chuckled, I gave him a 2 second long evil glance, but then I smiled. I really liked Emmett, I couldn't stay mad. Carlisle left after he completed my check up.

"Are you going to stay the whole day?" I asked Emmett.

"Well you don't actually expect me to leave you alone with wires so close to you, what if you trip and accidently hang yourself." Emmett said slyly.

"And you're going to save me?" I challenged.

"Most definitely." His voice was serious. I smirked and he cocked his head to the side and smirked back. "I do have to leave for a little while though." His smile faded when he remembered his other duties. "I have to coach and I have a class to teach today. They're not letting me take another day off. Heh."

"I promise to stay in bed." I said lifting my right arm up. "Scouts honor."

"Ever a scout?"

"Not suicidal."

"Fair."

Emmett and I passed our time throughout the morning and lunch time talking about everything we could think of. Although he admitted almost his whole romantic part of his life to me, I didn't know other things like his favorite color (blue like Rosalie's eyes), or his favorite band (Muse), or his favorite breakfast (Bacon egg and cheese toasted croissant with a huge bowl of grapes), or his favorite book (Our Town). We talked a lot about nearly everything that came into mind. No matter how ridiculous.

He asked me questions too, but again – I wasn't that interesting. My favorite color changed daily. My favorite book changed weekly. My favorite band…I had no idea since I was so far out of pop culture – but I did respect the classics. My favorite breakfast…didn't exist since normally I wasn't awake for it. But that morning Emmett made me eat a cafeteria supplied breakfast. I thought I'd keel over from sodium overdose, but the sandwich wasn't half bad. I couldn't eat the grapes that Emmett offered, breakfast sandwich and fruits wouldn't have mixed well in my delicate stomach that was already half full of pain killers and penicillin.

Jasper came in when Emmett and I were discussing the disadvantages to a space suit shaped like a donut.

_I said Emmett and I talked a lot…I didn't say that a lot of it made sense. _

"Good morning Bella." He smiled walking towards me. Emmett immediately got to his feet and stood half way between Jasper and me. It was like he expected Jasper to jump on top of me and skin me alive and he was prepared to stop him.

The room reeked of sweetness instantly. I still couldn't put my finger on what kind of sweetness. It wasn't candy like…maybe like a bubble gum flavor?

_Tramp flavor. _

"Good morning Jasper." I greeted back expressing my confusion at Emmett, but he ignored me. His eyes squinted slightly as he pretended to look out the window and ignore Jasper completely. The way we were all situated was awkward. Jasper didn't try to greet Emmett, and Emmett pretended Jasper didn't exist because he was too interested in something out the window.

I heard the fumbling of papers. "I brought you some paper to grade." I saw him take out papers from the red folder. All his finger tips were wrapped in bandages and then he had bandage wrappings all the way from his left wrist to his elbow. I was uncertain what they were for or why he had them on.

Emmett turned his head to Jasper and took them from him without a sound. The tension between the two of them thickened the air. "I'll give them to her." Emmett said only after he took them.

Emmett handed them to me, I made sure to thank them both. I could see the uncomfort in Jaspers stance and the expression on his face supported my assertion. He didn't understand the hostility from Emmett. I think I did…

_He only pretended to be asleep last night…._

"How are you feeling Bella?" Jasper asked after a fake clear of his throat.

"Much better." It was the truth. I could order my body to move, and it actually listened. I was thrilled. "Carlisle said I'll be on normal pain killers soon."

_Should I ask about his bandages? _

"Nice nice. Well ummm….I guess I'll get going to class." His eyes were on Emmett when he said that.

Unspoken words passed between them and Jasper left without even petting my head. I could hear Emmett mutter a string of profanities and maybe something with a homicidal reference or two.

"You weren't asleep last night." It was a statement – not a question. Emmett nodded as he took the seat beside me.

"You don't have to hate him for us." I said us because I felt as though it was Alice, Jasper, and me in the relationship that was slowly disintegrating.

"I hate men like that." His voice rang in anger. "I hate woman like that too." His tone didn't change.

"Alice said she thinks' he's cheating." I emphasized the word "thinks" and looked down at my fingers as they toyed with one another on my stomach. "Alice is known for jumping to conclusions."

"I saw him with another woman." Emmett said. I didn't dare to look up to show the horror on my face to him. I would have thought my heart stopped if the beeping didn't continue.

He explained himself; "I was buying flowers at that big place on Ree Avenue."

"Flora Gardens." I said.

Flora Gardens was the biggest garden shop I'd ever been in. If it's green and blooms, Flora has it. That was also the place where Jasper and Alice had met many years ago. I had asked Alice to come with me to pick out seeds that I would plant and try not to kill. She cancelled last minute and Jasper went with me instead. Alice showed up when her appointments at the store got rescheduled and that's how she and Jasper met. The second their eyes met, the look was instilled into one another for one another…and they became inseparable. They walked around in the store as if they were already a married couple and sniffed every flower in bloom that day.

"Yea Flora Gardens. I was buying flowers there for the house. Rosalie loves orchids, calla lilies, and iris's." His voice grew sad when he mentioned Rosalie's name, and then it became even sadder as he continued his story. "It was about a week ago, I saw him with this black haired chick. She was dressed in one of those super tight business crap. Like a secretary kind of, but a really hot one. I didn't think of it, and just said hello to him….but man….I should have known. He took a few steps away from her when he saw me. He probably looked guilty too. Damnit, I had no idea him and Alice were so…ya know…invested in each other. I would have punched him in the face or something."

"You already did." I said trying to lighten the topic. Tears were already streaming down my face. I couldn't share this information with Alice. It was breaking my heart just hearing it. It would tear Alice into unfixable pieces.

He chucked, but it was a fake chuckle. He changed the subject immediately. "Hey, let's read one of these things." He picked up the papers from my side of the bed. "I'll be a speaker dude for it."

"Narrator." I still didn't look up from my hands. My voice was breaking down on me, and I felt my body tremble. How could Jasper do this…to Alice!

Alice wasn't cold hearted like Rosalie. Alice wasn't scared of commitment like me. Alice was Alice. Alice took control of situations and did her best to make it better – even though it would sometimes come off as crazy instead of well intended actions. She was true to herself and to all her friends. She was strong and powerful. She had even made a name for herself and created a million dollar empire out of nothing.

_She wasn't greedy, she wasn't selfish, she wasn't cruel, she wasn't…._

Emmett was hugging me tightly without being careful with my left arm. I didn't notice how long I'd been crying to his chest, but I didn't stop. My sobs were uncontrollable. I hated that I couldn't do anything to fix the situation between the two of them.

_It just wasn't fair…_

When I had calmed down, Emmett climbed off the bed and returned to his chair. He began reading the first paper through my sniffles. It relaxed me, and by the third paper – although no grading was done, I felt calmer.

It didn't last though, Emmett had to leave to teach class and I was left alone. Alice wouldn't visit till night time if she would even show up. Esme hadn't visited me either. Carlisle only came in to replace my bandages again, with ones that smelled like Nyquil and rubbing alcohol. The new bandage burned a bit at first but after a few moments the feeling settled into comforting warmth. I didn't ask Carlisle to stay, even though a part of me wanted to. He looked like he had other things on his mind – my loneliness wasn't one of them.

When Carlisle left, I gave up with trying to entertain myself by counting the stars on the wall. I leaned to Emmett's empty chair and picked off the papers to read. Carlisle left a pen on one of the monitors that recorded my heart rate. I used it to grade the papers.

My phone rang, I picked it up.

"Hello." I said.

"I love you." It was Alice. I smiled a sad smile.

"I love you too."

"So I just got invited to a fashion show in New York."

"When?"

"For tonight."

"Wow…" I knew she didn't just get invited, but she did just decided that she was going to go.

"Do you want to come?"

_No…yes…no…yes….yes. For Alice…yes. _

I was about to respond but Alice spoke again.

"Oh, nevermind. Carlisle said that you wouldn't be allowed to leave till tomorrow. Would it be okay if I went alone?"

_No…_

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"I can't stay locked up in my store all day. I need to get out. I just need to do something." Her voice was weak.

"Okay, but make sure to call me every few hours."

"Every half hour." Alice reassured and I gave a painful groan and she giggled. "Okay okay. Every few hours."

I smiled because I made her giggle. She would be okay. She had to be okay. We said our goodbyes and I love yous and I stared the ceiling for a little while. Tears threatened to escape, but I forced them back. I wasn't going to cry because Alice was trying to get better…I would not cry for that.

I grabbed the papers from my lap and prepared myself to grade them. I would keep busy like Alice. But it was much harder done than said.

I wasn't dedicating all my attention to the papers as I should have. My mind's thoughts were on Alice…and sometimes wandered to Edward.

_Why wouldn't he check up on NOW? Now that I'm awake. _

I wanted his company. I wouldn't admit that to myself. But I really did. I flipped to another paper, hoping to find something more interesting.

_Careful what you wish for. _

The next paper had nearly caused me to faint or go into coma, or have a heart attack, or pass out…or….or….

It was by Edward Masen.

**Edward "Heathcliff" Masen  
By: Edward Masen**

The machines that monitored me, beeped rapidly. My breathing was becoming uncontrollable. I didn't know how to handle myself.

I didn't move and eventually I calmed down to a respectable – only slightly accelerated state. I was like a statue in bed, staring at the paper like it was one of the most life altering pieces of work in history. And to me it might as well have been.

I stared at the cover page for a long time, wondering if my eyes were playing tricks on me. I wondered if Carlisle's drugs had a side effect of delusion. I wondered if I was dreaming.

I hoped I wasn't. I wanted it to be real.

I touched the paper like a child touching a whistling kettle for the second time. It was real and it didn't burn my fingers. I flipped the cover page over and began reading so intensely I was scared to blink and forgot to breathe in the first paragraph. The moment my eyes trailed to the first letter, I forgot anything else in the world existed.

* * *

Tada! Okay...worst cliffhanger ever. Sorry :x

Hehe, thank you for reading!! And thank you VERY much for the reviews. They have been the biggest motivation ever :)! I less than three all of my reviewers! :D Hehe.

I hope I can get the next chapter finished up soon, it's very long and has been a challenge to write but hopefully will be well worth the wait! :D!!


	15. Edward Revealed

Good evening. I assume you'll be reading this in the evening, or possibly the morning before the sun goes up. In that case good morning. Next; thank you for taking the time out to read this. You don't know how dearly I appreciate this.

Imagine a character, let's call him Edward Masen; mid thirties, tall, decently built man with bronze hair. He'll be the protagonist of our story. The true hero of our story will be called Bella Swan. She'll be a beautiful English professor with chestnut brown hair and deep brown eyes with an impeccable writing style. Then we have the supporting cast of Alice, playing the role of Bella Swan's best friend. Jasper will play the role as Bella's assistant and Alice's young boy toy. Emmett and Rosalie will play the role as the new residents at Forks, who have some unexplainable chemistry between each other. I hope the names are not hard to follow; a chart can be supplied upon request.

Let's start at the beginning. Edward was born into a middle class family in conservative Connecticut. He was blessed with two very supportive parents who worked extremely hard at their jobs. His mother was an elementary school teacher and his father was an accountant. He had two lovely little sisters, who were angels when they weren't behaving like demons.

He was very fond of his family, and didn't even go through the phase of teenage rebellion. During his junior high school years his father and a friend of his had made a partnership and created their own accounting firm that concentrated on helping its customers with mortgages finances. Two terribly difficult years followed filled with a lot of phrases of, "we cannot afford that" or "if you want extra money get a part time job". Edward understood that everything was not well with the family financially and he helped out as much as possible.

During his freshman year of high school his father struck big. His company began making a profit, but this profit cost all of the father's time. So Edward fulfilled the duty of "man of the house". Once more he didn't mind, he loved his family dearly.

Sundays were declared off days, where the whole family would get together. Those days held Edwards most precious memories. His sisters, one 4 years younger and the other 8 years younger, became spoiled to the core, but never became rotten or greedy. Their smiles were always pure and their giggles were the sweetness that topped the day. They would go on a picnic or a trip to the zoo, or aquarium…or any other family orientated location. It was the most hectic time of the week, but it was also the most peaceful. His parents walked hand in hand, and his sisters would run off and cause mischief.

All the children had bank accounts by the time Edward had finished his junior year of high school. Edward worked hard in school, and did as much extracurricular activities as he could. He enjoyed being active and most of all relished at being his little sisters' role model. He didn't smoke, or drink, and didn't even date girls. As long as he didn't date, it didn't give his sisters any ideas of dating either. He also made sure all his friends had an eye out for his sisters just in case as well. He always wanted to keep them safe.

When Edward started to receive his college acceptance letters, his father was determined to provide Edward the best possible education. When the acceptance letter came from Oxford University there was no question on where he would go. Edward was reluctant to leave, he loved his family. His family was there during the high school drama, during his personal struggles, during his slip ups, and through every other event – they were there for him. He felt like he had a debt he needed to repay and he swore he would repay it and he wanted to stay in Connecticut to repay it.

But his father told him that he would take over the family as a real father once more. He promised that he would hire an assistant to do his busy work so he could be an active part of his family once more. His mother listed off the pros of Oxford every moment she got. His sisters said they were excited for him to go, even though he didn't give a definite answer. Everyone but him was prepared for his departure.

The deadline for a response was fast approaching and Edward was unsure, he would rather go to a community college and stay at home. But his father said that they would all be disappointed if he would not take the chance to study in England. His mother reminded him that he would be home for the summertime and that they would spend every moment he was home together.

Edward sent a reply to Oxford and registered as an incoming freshman. There were graduation parties, congratulations' parties, and going away parties. Edward was finally ready to leave…till a day before his flight. He was in his room packing when the eldest of his sisters walked in and sat on his bed. She had bright red wavy hair that complimented her pale face and extenuated her blue eyes. She was tall for her age, and even well matured both physically and mentally. She was Edward's best friend.

"I don't want you to go." She said bluntly. Edward was surprised. She was the one who had made the biggest deal about him going to Oxford. She even arranged the going away party and bought him items that she believed he would need in college…although he hadn't the faintest idea what good a Lava Lamp would do him when he was studying biochemistry.

"You said you did." He replied sitting next to her, wrapping his arm around her shoulder. She always smelled of coffee. She would drink at least 3 a day, every day, since she turned 10.

"I lied." Edward was shocked by her response. She was on hell of an actress, would have possibly had a future in Hollywood or Broadway.

"Why did you lie?"

"I wanted you to be happy." She sounded sad.

"Why don't you want me to go?"

"Because no one will protect us. When the boys pick on me who will be there to chase them away? What about my first boyfriend? Or my first kiss? Who am I going to talk to?"

Edward didn't have a response.

"Mom won't remember what it was like to be young; she'll flip out over every little thing. Dad…dad. You know dad. And Ashley is too young to understand. You're supposed to be here for me. For us. I don't want to take the bus to school, and I don't want to ask mom to drive me to the mall. I want you to be around. I want you to be my brother."

"I will still be your brother."

"But you won't be around around."

"You know you can call or email me anytime. I don't care if I'm in class. I'll still pick up for you. And in another year you'll be driving. I'll make sure dad leaves my car for you."

She looked at him nodding her head in approval, but her eyes disapproved of every word coming out of his mouth. They stayed together just talking about how they would keep in contact. Edward promised to take her on a road trip to California next summer, and he swore to take a hundred pictures of England for her. Eventually she had to leave to make the bus for dance class and Edward continued pacing alone. He began regretting his decision, and prayed his father made good on his promise to be around in the family more.

His sisters cried when he went to give in his ticket for the plane. His mother tried to be strong but her body trembled when she tried to suppress her tears. His father only gave him a pat on the back and a thumbs up. When he turned around one last time to look at them, not exactly treasuring the moment as he should have, he saw his older sister mouth the words, "You promise", and he nodded at her.

Edward worked hard in Oxford; he received top grades for all his classes and couldn't wait to come home. His sisters and mothers kept in touch with him almost every week, but his father only called twice his first year of school. When he came back in the summertime everything changed. His sisters were off to summer camp and his mother took a vacation in France. There was no one home. No one came home, no one called home, no one wrote. No one had even picked him up at the airport. All there was was a letter on the refrigerator explaining where everyone was.

He tore it up. He was bitter and resentful. He only stayed a week in the states before returning back to England and registering for summer classes. He didn't realize that the summer camp wasn't his sister's choice or that France wasn't planned in his moms favor.

He didn't bother coming back the next summer, or the summer after that. Eventually he stopped talking to his family every week and only spoke to them every month. But slowly it was only every few months. He no longer wrote to his sisters, or picked up the phone if they'd call and he was busy. They were no longer his priority because they did not make him their priority. When he did talk to them, he did not notice the guilt in their voice or their apologetic tones. He never noticed the hints his sister gave him. No, all he noticed was blind rejection.

He got a part time job during the school year working in a bar. He refused to use his father's money for anything except tuition and by the fourth year he was paying for that out of his own pocket too.

Graduation was coming up when he received the life altering phone call. In just a week of that phone call he was going to receive his bachelor's in Philosophy and Biology. He was busy memorizing his valedictorian speech that week.

He had planned to enroll in the best medical school right away; he already registered for all the exams and passed everything with flying colors. He wanted to be a doctor. He wanted to save people, to be the modern day superhero.

The phone call came from Connecticut Department of Justice…his whole family was dead. The boarding school his sisters were eventually sent to where for their protecting, his mother jumping countries was really her fleeing for her life and his father never being home was so his family would not be put in danger. Edward was sickened to his very core during the whole conversation. He practically believed that he had lost his soul.

His father supposedly had mob connections, but they could not prove that, the Italian mafia killed them during one of the rare days they were all at home. His sisters were rapped and while being suffocated by saran wrap till they lost consciousness and eventually died. His mother was drowned in the pool in the backyard. His father had his fingers cut off, and a bullet to his head. The whole time the man on the other line spoke so nonchalant that Edward wished he could rip off the man's head. He spoke of his family as figures, not as people. He sounded bored…he held no sympathy for Edward and he became the first person Edward hated with all his being.

Edward didn't protect his sisters. His sister had asked him – no – begged him, to stay. He broke the biggest promise he ever made. He might as well have been the one who killed them. He spent 4 years being bitter towards his family for neglecting him, and he quit making an effort at communicating with them.

Self hatred consumed him.

The man on the phone mentioned that it took a while to be able to find Edward and that they believed there was no other heir for some time. He said that since none of the money was literally connected to the mob that it all went under his name and then the man hung up saying Chase Bank would contact him.

His family had been dead for 5 weeks before that phone call.

Edward attempted suicide a number of times before his graduation that he didn't even attend. He didn't leave his apartment for months. Every time he was ready to die, his sisters faces appeared in his mind and he sobbed himself to unconsciousness.

He could no longer attend medical school. He couldn't be the hero. He was the bad guy. He began to write dark stories, gruesome stories…everything was a tragedy because his life was an inescapable tragedy.

He couldn't die.

His sisters wouldn't let him.

He hired someone to plan his family's funereal and paid for all the costs but he didn't attend. He swore never to return to America again. He invested his father's money to real-estate all over Europe and spent 2 years traveling; he learned he had a gift for picking up languages.

Eventually he settled in Greece, and under the University of Athens he earned his P.H.D and wrote his dissertation. When it was published, everyone swallowed it as brilliant….no one saw what mendacious text it really was. No one saw that it was artifice façade to get everyone to conceptualize the world as a dark place. Everyone saw it as a Shakespearian work of art. It was poetry, it was novelistic, and it was dark and beautiful. When in reality, it was only propaganda with a bow.

He taught classes at the University to pass the time, but otherwise indulged himself in his dark research reports, papers, and fictional books. His first vampire novel was published in 2001. He was slipping into madness and hatred. He was a hermit in all respects of the word. He could not remember how to smile or interact in social settings, he was losing his humanity and because of that he believed that true humanity and humility no longer existed. Everyone was a monster feeding their innermost selfish desires that would eventually destroy everything around them. After all, that was what he was doing, and if he – who once had a perfect life – could drown to the deep depths of evil, that meant everyone else could too. There was no such thing as good. The world was filled with the bad, the worse, and the evil. His nightmares proved it.

Years passed by, and nothing changed. He published other horror books and critics acclaimed it as genius. He didn't even know how miserable he was, he didn't understand how much he suffered because he forgot what the opposites of those emotions were. He was living a one sided paradox.

In one of his Human Condition and Rhetoric lectures a student wrote a paper sighting works by a graduate student from the states named Bella Swan. The quote was disturbing in his eyes. It was repulsive. It said that humans could not be evil by nature. It was absurd, it was lies, it was ignorance. It was wrong.

He researched Bella Swan. She was a graduate student at Forks University. He could not find out anything else about her; she wasn't much of an internet user. He researched Forks University; apparently they had an online library of all their students and professors accomplishments and papers.

He logged into the Forks libraries and read all of her previous work. He was mesmerized by her writing style and her opinions. He didn't realize what her writing was doing to him. Suddenly he began to open the curtains and let the sun swim around his room. He began to greet his workers without an air of arrogance. His lectures began to soften and his nightmares began to disappear. He even continued his vampire saga; he planned it being a onetime book but yearned to put hope in his stories. The second book came, then the third book, and eventually followed by a fourth. It all flowed so freely that writing became an enjoyment and an escape instead of a punishment and torture.

When he learned a little about her, he expected certain things, but all his expectations were blown away by every single work she had written. He became infatuated with her, completely in love with her mind. He would reread her works over and over, taking in every detail and treasuring every word in every sentence.

After years of following her work like a hawk he realized that he wanted her to notice him. He forgot the contents of his previous work when he blindly called his publications manager. He requested for his dissertation and previous works to be published under the University of Forks and for all his works to be available in their libraries. He even called the university and spoke with Esme. She was thrilled when he donated a large sum of money for a renovation of their current libraries.

Esme spoke to him often, keeping him updated on the renovations and often she would ask him about his life. Esme became a friend to him, a real friend. He began to confine in her, telling her about his adoration for Bella Swan. Esme wasn't disturbed by his actions, but instead she encouraged him. She told him as much as she could about Bella.

Bella was working on her dissertation and he was ecstatic to read it. Esme asked for him to come back to the states and sign up as a professor in Forks but he refused. He was still ashamed of himself, and a beautiful soul like Bella's deserved better than him. He could only hope that maybe one day she'd stumble upon his work and do some research on him like he had done on her. He only wanted to be noticed…at least that was what he believed.

After half a year of waiting, her dissertation finally came out. He read it, eight times without sleep. He was in love with her opinion and her way of displaying it. Everything about her screamed intelligence and perfection to him and that piece of work alone made him entertain the idea of taking Esme's advice and meeting her. To meet this person who healed his heart of the hatred to humanity.

His vampire saga, called Midnight had a happy ending and she was the cause. She was responsible for the happy ending, because for once he almost believed in happy endings. There was such a thing as happily ever after, she was the princess that proved it.

After her dissertation was published she began writing shorter pieces. He read her silly piece on olives, and her serious piece on the French Revolution. He read her brilliant criticisms of Wuthering Heights. It made him reread the book in a new light. She was changing his life, and yet she didn't know him at all. He wanted to meet her. He yearned for it, everything in his body, mind, and soul called out to her. Even if he could not turn Bella Swan into his lover, he was sure she was his soul mate. And it was unjust of him to remain so far away from her. That was his train of thinking.

He was teaching, what he believed to be his last semester in Athens when a letter reached him. He would often receive letters from fans and critics, but this letter was different. It was from Bella Swan. His heart raced, his palms sweated, he was overcome with nervousness. He felt like a teenage boy once more. He didn't know what to expect.

He opened the letter hastily, and read it thoroughly. He didn't understand it the first time. Then reread it again. Surprised at what he read. And reread it again. Feeling the effect of the letter vibrate through his body. Then once more his eyes traced the words on the paper till it broke his heart.

Edward reread his dissertation. He was horrified by its contents. It was the exact opposite of Bellas'. If you were to compare the two pieces, one was pure evil and one was divine goodness. But his evil no longer had value; it was no longer real to him. It was fiction as far as he was concerned. He was no longer the boy in London filled with angst and anger towards the world that owed him nothing. But Bella believed so.

He reread the letter again and understood the meaning behind every word she said. Her handwriting was round and cursive like soap bubbles and she used a green ballpoint pen. Her addiction to run on sentences would have been humorous if the words she used to build the sentences had not been so hurtful.

He felt himself start to become spiteful and angry once more. But Bella continued to publish under the Forks libraries and he continued to read them. Every sentence she built was like a paradise to him. Her writing made him forget her hatred towards him for just a little while. He could not imagine a world where she did not write. It was like a drug, the perfect drug for him.

Then suddenly 2 years later her writing stopped. For 5 months she published nothing. He began to worry, he checked with Esme if Bella was still alive – she was. She was still teaching but she was no long writing. He needed her writing. He survived another week in total solitude from her. He couldn't take it anymore. It was a withdrawal that he could not handle.

Dropping everything, he called Forks University and asked to be admitted to the school as a part time professor or just a researcher. They couldn't deny him; he had established a name in Europe and America. He requested to have a tour with Bella Swan, the wonderful Esme on the other line was more than delighted to oblige, claiming that 2 other people were flying in the same week he was.

The day he arrived in the states, he could not settle himself. Jetlag had nothing on him. He was filled with adrenalin, and he was on a natural high. He would finally meet her. Bella Swan. He didn't care if she was a midget, or if she was purple and old…he had fallen in love with her soul. He made sure to never look up her pictures online – that was too much of an invasion of privacy.

He arrived at Forks University with a few minutes to spar but everyone was already gathered. He had been riding the whole night, with no direction in mind. Just riding on his bike till everything in the world became a blur, till his thoughts were not as fast as his bike…and that was way above the speed limit. He was lucky no sane person drove around at 4 A.M.

When he met her gaze, everything shattered. His self confidence and all the lines he planned to use to win her heart vanished from his mind. She was breathtakingly beautiful. Her deep brown eyes intimidated him, but his pride would not let that show. Her perfect body made him lust for her. He was slowly becoming a prisoner to the seven deadly sins because of her.

So he spoke to Esme instead of her. He lost his manners because of the beautiful Swan. But to his surprise she tolerated none of it and put him in his place. He loved it when she held her hand in front of him, being forceful and demanding. She was a strong woman. So he tested his waters, introducing him with quotes from her letter, she responding quoting too. She was not to be messed with. She was not fragile, or at least put on a very believable act that she wasn't.

He remained behind to talk to Esme. He needed advice, how to handle the mysterious creature known as Bella Swan. Esme couldn't offer much help on her romantic life. All he found out was she had a long term relationship with Mike Newton who was a professor and a guy named Aro that Esme didn't know much about. Edward had gone in search of this Mike Newton in the Biology department, not before getting lost for a good thirty minutes.

When he discovered this character, he was teaching in a lecture class of 100 students. Edward took a seat in the back and watched Mike Newton poorly explain Meiosis. Mike Newton was a tall man, a little taller than Edward but lacked definite muscle and his frame looked lanky. Edward was not only disgusted in Newton's teaching style but the way he looked at the girls in the class was disturbing. He could not imagine Bella Swan being in his arms, or maybe he just refused to. She was too good for Newton.

Bella was too good for Edward too, but he knew he had to try. He watched Newton till the end of his class; half the students were not even paying attention to him. He didn't receive much respect and Edward was having an impossible time wrapping his head around the fact that Bella had a long term relationship with him!

When class ended he had left hastily and began to wander around with his mind in the clouds. He wondered what he could do to sweep Bella off her feet. He pictured her in his head once more, with tight lips and narrow eyes when she introduced herself. He noticed that her eyes looked dark and tired when they first met, but the passion and depth behind her brown eyes was something lack of sleep could never take away. He eventually wandered around the school grounds long enough to tell which building was which, and what floors had what. He wished he had stayed with Bella and the group instead of erring off alone.

He was stopped numerous times by students asking for an autograph and commenting on how brilliant his dissertation was. It was a piece of shit he thought to himself each time as he politely answered the questions they had for him. Eventually he got the valiancy to ask a girl whose binder he was signing whether she had seen Bella Swan. She replied that the group was behind the parking lot near the library heading through the campus park. So avoiding as many people as possible, he made his way to meet up with the group.

The moment that he was near Bella once more, he felt like he was losing his stability. Her outer beauty was beyond comprehension. He knew the beauty of her soul, and that had already flipped him head over heels, and her outward beauty was making him do cartwheels like a little kid in the playground.

Too bad she hated him and found him rude. But he couldn't help it; he didn't know how to confess his love to her without coming out as a weird deranged psychopathic stalker. So he silently watched her from behind. She looked so uncomfortable in the clothes she wore, but she wore them well nonetheless. He asked a few questions, but either Bella replied coldly or not at all. His heart sank a little.

The other characters of the tour seemed to hit it off well, except Bella seemed slightly nervous near the other lady; Rosalie. During the whole tour his mind was racing with thoughts of how to rewrite his dissertation, to show that he was not the same person he once was. To write about truth and unpredictability…and love. And how human emotions were uncontrollable and wonderful. That's what he wanted to write about and he wanted to read it to Bella, so maybe she would fall for his soul as well but she already hated his veneer and he was doubtful that she would ever willingly want to see him or ever read his writings again.

She was so mesmerizing. She received a phone call during the tour near the gymnasium, and she walked a few feet away to speak. Her voice was so angelic, he felt like he was in the presence of a divine being. And when this goddess worthy figures eyes met his, his heart skipped a beat. He could not help but believe the conversation had mentioned him. That made him smirk, at least she was talking about him. She was finally taking a notice to him.

They began to head back; every moment that Bella was silent was a moment where he wanted to ask her a question. He wanted to hear her delicate voice again, to see her stunning facial expressions and maybe change her first impression of him. He wanted nothing else more than for Bella Swan to see him a different light, a bright light…not the dark light that no longer haunted him.

But sadly nearly every moment was filled with silence between the two on the way back. She said goodbye and wished everyone a good day, he could not meet her eyes in fear of starting to recite Victorian love poems to her.

Lunch was boring, he could not have paid any less attention and only recalled the time that he was directly addressed.

"What do you plan to do here?"

Win the heart of the most amazing being on this planet would have been the honest response. But instead he lied…partially.

"Teach, write, and maybe sit in for a few classes."

"Oh yes, sitting in for a few classes sounds like a wonderful idea. We have some of the most outstanding teachers' right here in Forks."

He could not bring himself to ask where and when Professor Swan taught, it might have made the administration a bit too curious. After lunch was done, Jasper had met up with the group. This time he spoke to Edward a little more and got invited to dinner that night. Edward asked who else was coming. He said his lady and Bella.

Bella.

How could he deny the chance of seeing her once more? He couldn't. Jasper was a good person, he was grateful that Bella had such a good and loyal friend.

Edward asked a few discrete questions about Bella, like why she looked so exhausted. Apparently she goes to sleep at 5 A.M most days that made him chuckle when he compared her to a vampire.

He asked what Bella's favorite book was. He said it was the book she was currently reading.

He asked what book Bella was currently reading. He said he wasn't sure but she was going to be rereading Tail of Two Cities for her novel class.

Dickens.

Edward did not push his luck further; after all he did not want to bring suspicion on his questions. He would ask her favorite jewel, flower, color, cereal, author, country, city, animal, car, movie and more if he would not look like an infatuated teenage girl. He did have a façade to hold up; he just hoped he was holding up the right one.

The girl of the group had wandered off and Jasper said he needed to go run an errand for Esme and then meet up with Bella. Edward longed to follow Jasper but resisted the erg and instead kept company with Emmett. He was a good distraction from Bella for a while, but with the two of them together it seemed that every student was either a literary junkie or a sports junkie. Too many kids had some sort of obsession. Edward excused himself from Emmett after signing his 19th book and went to the library. He wondered if Bella spent a lot of her time there. He had both libraries renovated just for her. The one he went to was the smaller library which held mostly classics or required readings for history and English classes. That's when a miracle happened.

He had accidently bumped into a girl named Angela and her books had fallen to the ground from the impact. When he bent down to pick them up he noticed one of them being Wuthering Heights and the other A Tale of Two Cities.

He introduced himself, and asked her if she was reading them for a class. She replied for Professor Swans' novel class. He felt as though he had just won the lottery.

He asked when she had that class, the girl seemed uncomfortable…he quickly explained what a fan he was of Bella Swan and how her literary work had captivated and inspired him. He did not lie one bit, the girls presence seemed to demand honesty.

She told him when and where she had the class. They talked a little about Bronte's other works, he was impressed by the girls vast knowledge but every time he gave her a compliment she said it was because of Bella. He and the girl departed their separate ways, and he felt like he was walking on clouds as he checked the time. He had 35 minutes till her class would start.

He wandered around the library aimlessly; he had already read nearly every book in there. Twice. Unable to contain his excitement he went to her class early, when he arrived in front of the appropriate room, another class was exiting. Besides him Angela and a short black haired girl were the first ones to enter the classroom when it emptied. He brought up a short conversation about John Gardner with her to pass the time.

Eventually Bella walked into the classroom, she did not look up at first. He was blown away by her inhuman beauty. She no longer wore the tight white silk blouse or fitted gray slacks; instead she wore a large sweatshirt that fit her like a dress and jeans that seemed a size too big. And she looked undeniably gorgeous and now comfortable too. He wanted to take a picture of her and always keep it in her pocket.

When she looked up, their eyes connected. He could not keep a smile from forming on his lips. She warned him to leave, he replied that the president encouraged him to sit in for classes; she replied that he should sit in classes of his interest. He quoted one of his favorite papers by her, "fiction is the base of all ideas." He could have sworn that brought a blush to her face and that widened his smile that he could have such an effect on her.

He paid close attention to her teaching style, and did not fail to notice that she avoided looking at him directly. She taught the class in an informal manner and allowed everyone to speak their ideas. Rarely anyone raised a hand unless it was a question not dealing with the topic at hand. She was careful not to let anyone stray too far away from the point she was trying to make.

He understood the concept she was trying to get everyone to grasp quickly. He could not help himself from saying it when the class seemed hopelessly lost from the main idea.

She looked at him, he would have continued speaking if it would have kept her luscious eyes on him longer, but another student had agreed with him and the conversation went back to the students as they argued his point back and forth. Edward was silent the rest of the class. He was so amazed with the way Bella carried herself, it was like she was born to teach.

When Edward heard of the assignment that she had planned for class he could not resist the erg of writing up proof of how Bella was the Catharine to himself – a modern age Heathcliff. When she dismissed the class he could not leave, he wanted to stand up and talk to her but he couldn't figure out what to say. How could he explain his behavior? No words seemed to excuse his attitude. So he stared at her elegant figure packing and then eventually leaving the classroom, their eyes connected once and he nearly opened his mouth to speak but all words were lost to him.

He had never believed that anyone would ever have such a powerful control over him. He wasn't prepared for her at all. What to do, what to say, how to act. He couldn't be fake around her. He couldn't use his charisma to get what he desired because she saw right through him.

He had been with woman before and thought he understood them. He thought he knew how those creatures functioned. But once more, Bella proved him wrong. She was the exception to every rule. When he was forced to leave the classroom, because another class was starting, he walked around the hall. He could still smell her; her fresh citrus smell loamed the hallways. It intoxicated him.

He walked outside towards his motorcycle wondering what her opinion of him was as he drove home. He just couldn't read her expression to even be able to hypothesis on what she felt about him. He swore to himself that he would behave at dinner. He would not cover up his true persona with the hundred of walls he kept up; instead they would all come down for her. He would not hide anything from her. He would be honest with her, that's what she deserved after saving his life from the cold darkness that threatened to swallow him.

Emmett had called him; he was surprisingly interesting to talk to when it wasn't about sports. Edward didn't care much for sports but he did follow American Baseball and European football out of habit. Emmett and Rosalie were going to meet there 15 minutes prior to the actual meeting time and he asked Edward if he would mind being early. Edward did not question the favor but obliged.

He drove his bike through the rain to the restaurant. It was wet and dangerous but he wasn't scared, he'd been through worse weather on his bike. He also brought a change of clothes in the compartment under his seat. He arrived at the restaurant and greeted everyone and went to the bathroom to change.

When he rejoined Emmett and Rosalie they were silent and staring away from each other, it was only a few moments before the princess and her friends arrived. She wore an elegant blue sundress that looked like it should be matched a beautiful sunset on the beach. She sat next to him, and her intense smell took over him. He had prepared questions and conversation to have with her but his jaw was clenched shut and he could not even bring himself to look at her in fear of somehow repulsing her.

The waitress arrived for their drinks. Everyone ordered theirs and when she turned her attention to them, they spoke at the same time. Ordering the same type of Vodka. He had never met a non Slavic who enjoyed Vodka. Rarely woman could even handle vodka, but shot after shot she was as composed as him while everyone else's cheeks were flushed red and they were ranting off stories.

He enjoyed the cheerful environment, but his eyes could not help but travel towards her constantly, if only just for a moment.

When the main dishes came, he noticed that her plate contained olives and he tried to contain his laughter remembering her piece dedicated to the "little black round balls of doom" as she referred to them. But when his eyes fell to her face she looked green and queasy. She immediately excused herself to the bathroom. Edward looked at the olives as though they continued the plague…the evil olives that caused her such distress.

"Oh, I think it has to do with the food." Alice explained as they all watched Bella leave. Edward was already picking off her olives with his fork and hiding them under the green leaf on his platter.

"She hates olives. She once wrote a paper how the world would be a better place without them." He chucked under his breath remembering her Mark Twain type wit throughout the paper. It also reminded him of Douglas Adams style of writing. He wondered if she liked either author at all.

"What else do you know about her?" Alice inquired, but he only smirked back as her plate became olive free.

Everyone stared at him, but he didn't care, he only awaited the return of the anti-olive lady.

"I'm going to check up on her." Alice declared and Jasper stood to allow her to leave. Emmett quickly changed the subject and began to tell another story. Rosalie stared at him intensely and Edward cast nervous glances in the direction of the bathroom. He truly hoped that she wasn't nauseous.

Minutes later Alice danced her way back with Bella in hand. Edward smiled warmly but Bella didn't notice as she sat down, her cheeks were a gently pink. She was embarrassed for her little display, he thought. She was such a gentle soul, and even though they didn't talk he relished every moment of sitting beside her.

The night progressed with stories and toasts, and yet again Bella kept her composure with Edward. Neither of them seemed the slightest bit drunk, but he could feel the alcohol begin to work against him, he felt light headed but nothing more. He could probably handle another bottle or two before he'd lose control and confess his feelings.

Alice had given a distasteful toast towards Bella. He wanted to say something but there was no right response, so he toasted but didn't drink. He would not insult Bella that way. Later in the evening Bella gave a toast, she toasted for "that look", and Edward had no idea what she meant and that has been vexing his mind since it escaped her lips.

They walked out and headed to the hotel. He hated the distance that formed between him and Bella outside. He wanted to take a step closer, but he wasn't sure if he'd be able to handle if she were to take a step back. Suddenly while he looked at her debating stepping closer to break the gap, her eyes rolled back and her body began to fall forward. With perfect timing he darted towards her and caught her before she connected with the cement.

He whispered her name over and over. She had passed out from all the alcohol. He debated taking her to the hospital to get her stomach pumped when Jasper appeared beside him. He reassured him that Bella always passed out when she drank too much. He picked her up bridal style and carried her all the way into the hotel. He could not take his eyes off her. He was so worried, even with Jaspers reassurance; he needed more proof that she would be okay.

When they got to the hotel room, Alice had become a babbling fool that even Jasper could not follow coherently and Emmett and Rosalie were nearly passed out on each other. Edward ordered the rooms; only two were available, he put the other 4 in the suite and took Bella up into the other open room. He set her on the bed, laying under the covers, and made sure to bring a garbage can to her bedside for the morning would not treat her well – he was sure of that.

He sat in the dark next to her, listening intensely to her breathing. She shuffled and moved herself to lay on top of him. She placed her head on his stomach, her face looked towards him, and the rest of her body crunched strangely into a sideward's ball. After a few moments she laid motionless in that position, then she let out a soft moaned and her eyes slowly opened.

She looked at him.

He looked at her.

She raised her hand slightly with her palm facing him. He was unsure what she wanted. She didn't move her hand when he asked if she was alright. So he pressed his hand onto hers, and her fingers fell into the gap between his and they held hands while staring at each other.

She smiled.

He smiled.

She lowered her hand, but did not let go of her grasp on his and fell into a deep slumber. Bella spoke in her dreams, mumbling little things here and there. Mostly about forests and sunsets though. Sometime during the night, sleep took over his body as well.

He woke up with the sunrise, and Bella was entangled in his body.

He smiled; their hands were still held tightly together.

But he needed to leave her for a little bit. He needed to buy her a pair of clothes to change into, and a toothbrush and toothpaste. He had gotten Bella off him, being very gentle and unwilling. He wanted to stay wrapped up with her forever. But he wanted to make sure he took care of her, and his desire for having her body up against his was overcome with his desire to make her happy and comfortable.

When he got out of bed, there was a soft knock at the door. He went to answer it. Alice stood there – looking very hung over.

"Give thi-this… to Bella. I'm—I'm going to. Going to go to work in an…an hour…an hour." She didn't look well at all. He took the paper and she did a ghastly walk back to the elevator in the hallway. He placed the letter on the table, and then headed out to do some early morning shopping.

He was lucky enough to find a small mall open that sold clothing and a 24/7 corner store for the bathroom items. He was very unsure if it was appropriate to buy Bella undergarments. He had never even ventured into a lingerie store before. He didn't know Bella's size…and even more he didn't want to offend her. However, he wasn't sure if she would be comfortable going commando.

He ended up not buying any after finding out the only lingerie store nearby was owned by Alice. When he arrived back, he showered, changed and went back to bed to watch Bella sleep.

Bella stirred at noon, and she even moved to cuddle him, but the moment she realized it was him she reacted like a disoriented little kitten. He refrained from chuckling at her for a fear that she would mistake it for an insult. She looked so cute.

He explained the situation to her, and she seemed to try to piece his words together. He tried to be as gentle as possible but her state of mind was unnerving and hostile. He heard her stomach growl and offered to get her lunch.

When he asked if she would like anything, the look she gave him made him think that she wanted a time machine. He left to go to the nearby deli. He walked around aimlessly for a good while, to make sure she had plenty of time for herself, before he actually went in. He ordered a few sandwiches and got two bottles of water. Later he realized he should have also gotten her Advil, but that was after he reviewed the time they spent together for the twentieth time in his head.

When he arrived back in the room, she was in the shower. He noticed the lid on the garbage can tightly fastened.

He sat at the edge of the bed and listened to her shower. He could have sworn her heard her cry, but he could not have been sure…and it would have been awfully rude of him to go into the bathroom to check up on her. He just listened intently to make sure she didn't fall or trip on anything.

When she got out of the shower, she looked absolutely dazzling. Her wet hair webbed all around her face and shoulders. The clothes he bought her fit her well and he was proud of himself. He tried not to stare.

They ate mostly in silence, and when she had read Alice's letter she said she was going to go to the store. He couldn't let her go alone, he didn't want to. So they walked together, and just like their meal – it was in silence. He just could not think of any way to break the ice with her and before he could even develop a seemingly well intentioned conversation they had arrived in front of Pixie.

He stared at her.

She stared at him.

He said goodbye reluctantly and turned around without looking back – mentally cursing himself to the endless pits of hell. When he arrived home, he began typing up this paper. He needed to explain himself, needed her to hear him out.

Screw this third narration, its childish enough as it is isn't it? The inability to talk to you, the fear of rejection, and the constant need to be around you…it all drives me insane. I want you to know how I feel, and if you think I am absolutely out of my mind let me know and I will take the next plane to Greece and never come back. If you want to be just friends, I can accept and live with that. If you…

I want to know how you feel. I want to know your story how you now know mine. Please do not be repulsed by my words and do not think too deeply on my actions. I do not act properly parallel with my feelings because of the human fear of rejection. But I have decided that I can accept rejection, and it is the reason why I am writing this to you.

Thank you for reading the first paper I have written that exemplifies the real me.

Thank you.

Edward

P.S: I apologize if me not buying undergarments was in any way offensive.

* * *

-passes out-

i hope you guys liked it! Edward revealed!

R&R pleasums! :D -gives cookies to all the reviewers!-


	16. Love

I read the paper so slowly, that every word was as if it was pressed onto my brain with a hot iron. I gasped, I teared, I squealed, I blushed, I smile, and I was left utterly breathless. His paper had shaken me down to my very morals and beliefs. I felt his pain, and I felt his joy.

_I was the cause of the joy. _

I could not exactly wrap my mind around everything he wrote. I never would have thought I had the capabilities to influence someone half way across the world with my babbling – after all that is what I considered my writing to be. His writing on the other hand showcased more talent than I could ever dream of having. He was a Shakespeare with words. A natural born poet, while I could barely make a haku.

But by debating my writing powers I was avoiding the essence of his paper. It was a declaration of his love for me that I should have been paying attention to.

I mouthed the word "love" to myself as my eyes stared at the last page.

_Love? _

_Love_

I believed love was possible…I did, I wrote about it all the time. But I never in my wildest dreams believed love would be possible for me. Besides Alice, there was no one else that I really learned to love. I loved my dad, and Jasper, and even Emmett in their own ways. But Alice was my constant, I knew she would be there if I needed her and she knew I would too. But I did not love her how she loved Jasper. I laid the paper down.

_Edward? _

I looked down at my hand.

_His fingers had been there. _

I tried to imagine his fingers intertwined with mine, I tried to imagine laying on his stomach, I tried to imagine looking at him…the images that flooded my head were based off his text not my memory. I thought about how his skin would feel against mine, how he would smell, and how I would feel while looking up at him, seeing him look back down at me with subtle worry and undeniable care in his eyes.

_Would I give him 'that look'? _

_Would he give me 'that look'?_

He said it happened and I do believe him. I just wish I could remember it so I could treasure the memory like he did. I could recall the images from his description but it was like a foggy dream to me and all the details were based off his words. I closed my hand to a fist and opened it again staring at my palm facing me. I wanted to feel his hand on mine. I wanted to see his fingers close the gaps of my hand.

I looked down at the paper that I had carefully placed on my lap. That was his soul. I held his soul on my lap.

_Did I feel the same way towards him? _

I did like him, of course I did. I wasn't stubborn enough to deny that. But like was easy to run away from, easy to bail out when things got tough. But with love….love you have to make sacrifices. Love can lead you to stay when you know you shouldn't, love can lead you to suicide, and love can hurt you more than poison and a dagger. Love was dangerous. Love was unpredictable. Love wasn't normal.

But my life would no longer be normal.

_Or would it? _

If I were to reject Edward he would leave immediately to Greece. I had no doubt that he told the truth. He would not continue to pursue me if I told him I wouldn't accept him. But…I couldn't imagine it. Me rejecting him. Him leaving.

I could imagine his hand in mine, but I could not imagine him leaving and being permanently out of my life.

_Is it love? _

I could feel the tears build up in the corner of my eyes. I didn't know if it was and I didn't know if it wasn't. Emmett had fallen in love with just one look…and now he's heartbroken and trying to win the heart of Rosalie. Alice had fallen in love with Jasper within moments of speaking to him…and now she's half way across the country ignoring her broken heart. Dad had fallen in love with mom…and she left him for someone else.

How could I try to be happy with Edward when everyone around me was so miserable? How could I be happy when Alice feels worthless? How could I be happy when Emmett was losing his reason to live? And Esme and Carlisle…god knows what's going on with them and they were supposed to marry and have a happily-ever-after before I even graduated high school.

_How could I risk falling in love? _

_How could I give over my heart to let it be stabbed? _

_How could I leave myself defenseless? _

_Heartbreak cannot be fixed with books or writing. _

_How will I handle it when he breaks my heart? _

_What if he doesn't? _

_But what if he does…_

The tears started to flow freely down my cheeks and my vision blurred when I thought of the fact; what if he does. My tears dripped onto his paper and my breathing escalated. I brought my empty hands up to my face and cried into them for an immeasurable amount of time. I just cried for the pain I had yet to feel and for the happiness I wasn't allowing myself to feel.

_I was being selfish. _

_I was being human._

I didn't want to be happy when everyone was miserable. I didn't want to risk getting hurt. I didn't want to hurt him. I was tired of seeing so many broken hearts.

_I don't want to be loved. _

_I want to be loved by him._

_I don't want to love. _

_I want to love him._

I wasn't worth loving. How could he love me? I was so average! I wasn't anything special.

_But he thinks I'm special…_

_Do I think he's special?_

_Yes…_

I thought he was fascinating. He had overcome all of life's challenges and became a stronger person from it. He did not give up when he was left all alone, he stayed alive. Eventually…I…me…I was able to save him. He had a good soul and was a kind person and I knew his love was true. I just knew it. His words were placed in such a way that there couldn't have been a lie anywhere. No lies. Just the truth. The honest truth. That he loved me.

My crying subsided eventually when I realized that I didn't want to cry. I was crying because someone loved me. Someone amazing loved me. Someone special loved me. Me.

I wanted to talk to Esme. She was the only link Edward had to me, and he had confided in her. I wiped my cheeks and folded Edward's paper in half and placed it under my pillow but before I could throw my legs over the bed, Emmett walked in. He raised his eyebrow before speaking, he probably saw from my bloodshot eyes that I was crying.

"Heeey." He said sitting on the chair beside me.

"Hey, how was practice?" I asked, not really curious and I felt bad for not being curious…my mind was on Edward.

"Alright. Sorry I'm late I saw Rosalie on the way back."

Hope sparked in me.

"And?" I asked eagerly.

"Nothing. She ignored me the whole time I tried to talk to her. She acted like I was just some annoying gust of wind." I didn't dare look at him. He could not imagine how much of an impact his response had on me.

_What if Edward would turn away from me like Rosalie turned away from Emmett? _

My hope dimmed.

"Miss me?" He said lightly and with fake cheerfulness in his voice.

I rolled my eyes and smirked.

My phone rang. Emmett reached for it and handed it to me. I picked up, knowing already it would be Alice.

"Hello Alice." I said sarcastically.

"AHEM! I called you 4 times! Why didn't you pick up?"

_I didn't even hear her call… _

"Sorry I must have missed it. I was reading."

"It's okay, I'm only teasing! So I just got out of J.F.K, and grabbing a taxi to Manhattan. Victoria meeting me there and we're going to go to some after party later."

Victoria was an old acquaintances of Alice of whom she did business with. I didn't know much about her except she owned a boutique on 5th avenue and dated Usher for a while. Or something like that. I secretly liked Usher after Victoria sent me an album of him for my birthday last year.

"I really hope you have fun." I said.

"Me too…I just can't get him out of my head."

I wanted to cry again. I didn't want Alice and Emmett to be upset. There was absolutely nothing I could do to truly help either of them. I could not mend their hearts. But I could not change their hearts either. Emmett would not fall for any girl ever, and Alice would never leave Jasper.

I heard Alice sigh on the other line.

"Well no point in crying about it now. I bet he won't even notice I'm gone." She took inhaled deeply. She was almost as bad of a liar as I was.

"Alice…" I said wearily.

"Would you be upset if I stay in New York for a little while?" She interrupted me.

New York, London, Paris, some place in Australia, and Tokyo were Alice's little fashion spots. They were the places she went to for an extra high when she was down. I knew that my selfish wish of her being with me would only make it harder for her, so I did my best to lie.

"Alice you know I could never be upset with you! You know that." That was the truth. "Stay in New York as long as you want. Just don't run off to London or anything." I teased, hoping she didn't sense any disappointment in my voice.

"You're the best."

"Just get yourself together, and we'll figure something out when you come back, okay?"

"Okay." Alice said in an almost whisper.

"I hope you have fun. By the way, I –." I stopped myself from saying what I wanted to.

"What?" Alice asked noticing me start another sentence.

I couldn't believe I was going to ask that. I wanted to bit my tongue to keep me from speaking.

"What were you going to say?" Alice asked again after she got too impatient with my silence.

I wasn't a good liar. I was a terrible liar. I wasn't a quick liar. I was thinking too much.

I had to tell the truth.

"I just…I wanted to know, if you felt the same. I mean, about you know who." I didn't want to say his name.

"Yes." She replied with no hesitation.

I mumbled a barely acceptable version of, "okay".

"Anyone that wants to makes you happy makes me happy." She said with so much honesty in her voice that I felt like bursting into grateful tears. I was so lucky to have Alice.

"Thank you so much."

"I love you." She said.

"I love you too."

"I'll give you another call tomorrow. Get some sleep you sound soooo tired."

I giggled a bit, "okay. Have fun."

I hung up, and Emmett held his hand out for the phone.

I hesitated giving him the phone and imagined his hand holding Rosalie's. His rough callused fingers between Rosalie's thin delicate perfectly manicured fingers. I smiled. I bet they fit together perfectly. They had to, they were such opposites, but not so opposite that they should repel each other. Rosalie was the only one repelling.

"You okay ace?" Emmett asked and I realized I was staring at his hands for a little longer than was appropriate. I handed his open hand my phone.

"Yea, I was just thinking about something." I smiled at him and leaned back into my bed. I heard the soft sound of paper crushing under my weight proving to me that Edward was with me.

_Edward loved me. _

"So whose 'you know who'?" He asked leaning back in his chair as well, relaxing his legs into a wide v shape.

Silence.

"Edward." I spoke softly. His name felt different on my tongue. It was like vanilla and cinnamon. It was ice cream and coffee. It was a Danish and tea. It was flavor and sweetness. It was Edward.

I wanted to say his name again, but louder with more pride.

Emmett smiled a different smile. I stared at him trying to figure out what kind of smile it was. It had no snide or cockiness in it. It wasn't a teasing smile or a flirtish smile.

"What?" I asked.

"I'm happy for you."

_It was an 'I'm happy for you smile'. _

"There's nothing to be happy about." I replied.

"There will be. I've seen the way you two look at each other."

I got a feeling…a strange feeling. I'm not even sure if I have the ability to properly describe it using words. It was a tingle in my chest, then a tightening of my chest, and then a trace of the soft tingle remained there. It was light as a feather but strong as steel. It was deep in my chest, but I felt pieces of it travel all over my body. I couldn't feel my heart beating but I could feel the edge of my mouth creep up into the smallest most honest smile possible. The tingle disappeared.

_Edward…_

"Can you get Esme for me?" I asked him.

"She's taking time off work." He said as though I should have known.

"Esme never takes time off work…" I whispered.

"She looked green last time. I think the flu or something. Needs to dress warmer."

"Says the person in basketball shorts and flip flops."

"I'm perma warm." Emmett grinned.

I shook my head and rolled my eyes at him. "Have you seen Jasper?"

"No." He growled his answer and crossed his arms over his chest.

"You need a haircut." I said changing the subject quickly.

"Rosalie likes it like this." He said. "She loved tugging my hair when we did the humpty dumpty."

"Humpty dumpty ever fall?" I said being sarcastic.

"Sure, but he never stopped doing the humpty." He smirked cocking his head to the side.

"You dumpty."

Emmett roared in laughter and I couldn't help from chuckling a little at our little innuendo joke.

"So I made up a new plan." He said.

"Plan?"

"To get my love back."

"Really? What does that involve?"

"Fireworks, spray paint, that balloon thing that flies banners through the air, a 7 foot tall teddy bear, and a guitar."

I didn't even know how to respond, I just opened my mouth a bit in surprise. If I were a cartoon my jaw would be between my feet.

"And maybe a few small balloons too. Oh and definitely candles. Like a few thousand candles."

"And what do you plan to do?"

"I plan to paint sunflowers all over the road in front of her house. Put a teddy bear on her drive way. Have the flying balloon thing fly a banner that says, 'I love you", and put candles all around the picture. Oh and fireworks. But only pink fireworks. Because that just makes things sexy."

"Or blows off your ear drums."

"We'll see."

"What about the guitar?" I asked.

"Oh I'll be serenading her."

"The fireworks will be louder."

"The fireworks are going to be after she calls the police." He stated as a matter-of-factly.

"She's going to put a restraining order against you." I replied back in the same tone.

"She sure will. I'll spend a thousand days in jail for just a moment to make her give me a real smile."

I smiled at Emmett.

_That's true love. _

"When do you plan to do it? I want to see it. I can even testify against you." I teased.

"Har har, next week."

_He was serious. _

"Wow, that's awesome." I said.

Then Carlisle walked in and he looked dreadful. His eyes were unfocused and he had deep circles under them. He didn't even smile when he greeted me.

_Was this because of Esme? _

"How are you feeling?" Carlisle asked me as he flipped some pages on his chart. I handed him the pen I used to grade my papers.

"Fine." I lied. I was worried about him and Esme…and Emmett and Alice.

"I want to keep you here till tomorrow, that okay?" He asked me as he put the chart down and groped my arm with his hands. I nodded in response as he felt around a bit.

"The window is being installed now. Alice is making them work in the dark. Should be done by like 2 A.M." Emmett reminded me about the brand new hole in my living room.

I groaned and Carlisle let out a weak laugh.

"I'm going to replace your bandages in an hour." Carlisle said patting my arm and left Emmett and me alone once more.

"Why is everyone miserable?" I mumbled more to myself than to Emmett.

"Everyone's not miserable. Everyone's surviving through the roadblocks life throws at them." Emmett said softly.

"Life needs to start throwing flowers instead of roadblocks."

"Well some flowers are poisonous."

"Catch 22."

Emmett stayed with me for the rest of the night, he ordered pizza and I discovered pineapple toppings are not as repulsive as I would have thought. Carlisle changed my bandages when we were on our second slice. He even shared a slice with us and listened to Emmett's stories. Emmett has the most interesting stories and it's hard not to be completely absorbed at his ridiculous scenarios and unpredictable plot twists. They were so farfetched I think it would be impossible to even make up what came out of his mouth.

It seemed as though Emmett was able to cheer Carlisle up a little bit, but not enough to take the look of distress from his face.

Alice called me 4 times throughout the evening. One time just to ask me to tell her that I love her, and then after that to tell me that the show finished and that she bought half a million dollars worth of clothes. Later she called to tell me, half drunk and slurred that she was on the way home, Victoria took the phone and promised to get her to the hotel safely.

I was determined to stay up as long as possible, just in case Edward would walk in while I was sleeping – but for some reason it didn't occur to me to go to sleep early since he would probably come in the morning. Logic was taking a backseat while I was driving.

I ended up passing out for a dreamless sleep sometime during Emmett's impersonation of his mother when he created an elaborate plan to 'come out of the closet' just to see his parent's response.

* * *

Thank you for your wonderful reviews of the previous chapter. I had put a lot of energy into writing it, and avoided a lot of real life duties for it...which is why this next update took a while. I was eating the backlash of procrastination. But now its Friday, so WoooHooo!

Anyway, next few chapters will be fun. You just have to understand Bella is caught off guard and has to understand herself.Trying to keep her as in-character as possible; she always over thinks everything, and usually misses the obvious answer by a mile and a half.

As usual, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I appreciate all your awesome reviews :) They keep me going! :D


	17. My butterfly

**Thursday**:

I checked my phone. It was 11:32 P.M. I groaned and hit my head gently up against the new glass window in my living room. I was nearly certain that it was bulletproof. The only light in my room was the dim lamp that was turned on by my couch and the moon that was looking over my shoulder. I was surrounded by a sea of white, orange, and purple crumpled papers. And I had just destroyed my last piece of blank paper available in my entire apartment. I flipped my red pen across the room.

I tried to write a letter.

I was dull.

I tried to write a story describing my feelings.

It sucked.

I tried to write a poem.

I can't write poems.

I tried to draw a picture.

Stick fingers don't really show much.

I was finished failing.

I had just killed a forest full of trees in the past 2 days of being locked in my room of doing nothing except trying to somehow respond to Edwards's perfect paper.

I had written a response to Wuthering Heights, Wicked, Tail of Two Cities, 1984, Heart of Darkness and so on. But to his work of art all my words kept coming short.

Nothing could compare.

And now I was out of paper, and slowly running out of time.

_About 15 more hours…. _

Then I'd see him.

My phone rang next to me; I flipped it open with my index finger, knowing it was Alice. Obviously.

"Hi Ally."

"Hi Belly."

"How are you?"

"Doing well! Just getting ready for an anti-fur protest."

"Anti-fur protest?"

"Yes, I just came back from a protest against poka dots being mixed with strips in clothing."

_New York had protests for everything apparently…._

"Sounds like fun." I said brushing my hair out of my face with my fingers. I could not believe the massive sea of papers surrounding me. It just hit me what I was doing…and what I had actually done to about a thousand pieces of paper.

"What have you been up to?" Alice asked cheerfully.

"Writing." I didn't realize what that implied.

"You're writing again?" I could hear the surprise and unease in Alice's voice. She didn't understand that I wasn't _writing_ writing…I was writing to Edward.

"Nothing like that." I said with some hesitation between my words.

"Oh, well at least it's a start." Alice said deciding to be encouraging.

"Yeap." I let out a yawn.

"Wow before the A.M and you're sleepy." Alice teased.

I grimaced. I didn't tell her that I didn't go to sleep the night before. How else would I rip up, crumble, and torture so many innocent pieces of paper with my inefficient words.

"I'll let you go to sleep." Alice said after my moment of stupid silence. My brain wasn't working quickly. Back in college I could pull 4 all nighters in a row and still be at the top of my game. Now one night took a huge toll against me.

_Oh to be young again… _

"Thanks Alice. Good night darling." I said holding back another yawn.

"Good night! I'll be back in Forks soon. Bye!" I could hear an echo behind her. She must have been entering a lobby of some sort. I closed the phone and held it loosely in my hand.

I brought my knees to my chest and let out a long deep sigh.

_What do I do now? _

No paper. No ideas.

_And running out of sanity._

_And time… _

I still could not conceive giving up. I refused to. I would keep trying. I had to keep trying.

I **did** like him. And I wanted to give us a chance; to see if maybe there could possibly be a me and him that wouldn't end disastrously.

I hoped.

I got up and stuffed my cell phone into the back pocket of my sweat pants. I took a step towards the center of the living room and tripped on some of my rejected papers and fell with a loud "Yelp!"

My body flung itself backwards and I landed on my butt with a loud thud.

"Owwwww." I whispered and almost decided to stay there for a while but Edward's face came into my mind, and I HAD to somehow show him I accepted in a way that was at least a few steps above pathetic.

He wasn't my mom. He wasn't Rosalie. He wasn't Jasper. He was Edward. And I had no right to fear that he would be like them. But still deep inside somewhere in my unconscious mind I did fear that very thing. But I couldn't declare him guilty when he had given me his naked soul.

I tried to get up again but I slipped on another piece of paper before I could even get myself off the floor. I grunted and moved forward to go on all fours. I crawled out of my landfill of papers and into the safety of the unlittered ground. I stood up again slowly. Mentally reminding myself to recycle all the paper. It was the least I could do…

I grabbed my keys off my coffee table and with a soft jingle I placed them into the pocket of my hoodie. I turned off the lights in my apartment and slipped on my green sneakers. I was going to go to The Center and get some more paper. Somehow…someway…I would figure out how to tell Edward, "I accept."

It was raining outside, but not hard enough that I had to go back upstairs for an umbrella. I walked through the light rain and enjoyed the crisp fresh air with deep breathes. I hadn't been outside since I started my writing adventure for Edward.

I looked up at the sky that was filled with beautiful stars and then I stepped in a puddle. My sneakers got soaked to the sock. I groaned and kept my head down and eyes on the ground for the rest of the walk.

My stomach rumbled. I was hungry.

Emmett had come to feed me during dinner time and even bought me some groceries. He was nice enough to sit in silence next to me while eating his pizza or burger while I wrote hundreds of papers worth of failures in front of him. He didn't say anything and didn't question my crazy motives for single-handedly destroying a forest. After I'd eaten a decent amount of food he would kiss my forehead and take his leave, reminding me to eat when I got hungry.

_I'd have to thank him for that. _

Jasper didn't come to visit me since I got out of the medical center. I thought it was best that way. I didn't know what to say or how to act. Jasper was my friend before Alice became his, but Alice was my friend before everyone else. She came first no matter what…but she couldn't even end the relationship with him. She just traveled across the country for a getaway. She was avoiding him, and Jasper was avoiding me. It wasn't even a love triangle. It was just messed up.

_Everyone is so messed up. _

The Center's first floor lights were off when I came in view of the 2 story cottage-like building. I opened the door, and it opened easily. I bet that none of the school buildings were actually locked.

I didn't bother turning on the lights as I walked towards the Student Association table on the left; they always had tons of stacks of computer paper under their table. I bent down under the table and tried to feel my way around. Then the lights turned on; I jumped slightly and hit my head on the table top. I mouthed a curse in pain and wiggled out to announce myself to whoever was there. I didn't want someone to think I was a robber. I was just insanely in-like with Edward.

But then the painful cries reached my ears and I didn't move. Someone was having breaking down. I sat with my back against one of the tables front legs closest to the center desk. I looked over the edge of the table and saw Esme rushing towards her table with waterfalls of tears streaming down her face. She looked terribly pale and sickly.

She wore a long gray sweater that hung off her body like a drape and loose pants. I remembered those clothes and they had once fit well on her a few months ago but now hung off her thinning frame. She was like a skeleton with skin, and even the skin seemed to be thinning. I saw her body vibrate from her violent sobbing as she went behind her desk.

I slapped mentally myself for hesitation.

_This was Esme! Esme! _

I had to go comfort her. I slowly moved out of the cover of the table to go to her but at that moment the door opened again and I heard squeaky wet footsteps rush towards her. I dove back behind my hiding place under the table and froze. When the squeaking passed me, I looked over the edge and saw Esme fumble with her bag at her chair and Carlisle was hastily approaching her.

"Esme." He repeated over and over. His dreariness echoed in his voice.

"Car-Carli-Carlisle ssstop." Esme said lifting her hand up with her palm facing up to motion him not to come closer.

He ignored her.

"Esme stop it. You need to be resting."

She picked up her bag that looked as though it weighed more than she did.

Esme looked into his pleading eyes and bit her lip trying to calm her sobs. Carlisle reached his hands towards her arms.

"Please. Esme. Dear. Listen to me. You shouldn't be moving around."

I gasped loudly but neither of them heard me.

_Esme was sick. _

3 years ago she had gotten ovarian cancer and Carlisle was the one who treated her along with another doctor at the Forks Hospital. She had made a full recovery, but from then on a wall between her and Carlisle developed. I always connected the two together, but that was something so personal I never dared to intervene. I tried to control my breathing into silence, but to my ears; my heart beat echoed louder than Esme sobbed.

"Carlisle." She whispered his name so delicately that it sounded like the word itself would shatter when it escaped her lips.

"Esme my butterfly." He touched her softly. Carlisle had the gentlest touch I've ever felt.

"Leave me alone." Esme tried to sound demanding but her voice came out fragile and weak. She moved aside from him and tried to pass him but he moved ahead of her. He stopped her from continuing a few feet further than the front of her desk.

"No." Carlisle was stern.

"Please." She begged him.

Moments of silence passed by. I shifted my head over a little to get a better view, my insides twisted from my prying actions; but that didn't stop me. Esme's face looked down to the floor and her head rested on Carlisle chest. I saw diamond drips escape from her eyes.

_Oh Esme…_

Carlisle's face was as grave has it had been the past few days…I could only imagine why. His strong arms were wrapped around Esme's back and his hands gently massaged her.

_Did the cancer come back? _

I bit my lip so hard that I tasted a hint of blood mixed with my saliva in my mouth. I watched the two tormented figures in front of me and wished I could leave to give them the privacy they deserved. But I couldn't risk leaving.

"Esme, please my precious. I'm begging you to stay." I could barely hear his whisper of a voice.

"I can't stay." She said as her hands pressed against his chest and she tried to push him away. He didn't budge but he let his grip of her go.

"Why?" He demanded.

She raised her head, and their eyes met. With the back of her sleeve she wiped the tears from her eyes, and she rubbed them off so hard it left a red rash on her cheeks.

She sniffled and crossed her arms, not defensively but as if she was trying to hold herself up. Trying to keep herself together.

"We can't….we can't keep pretending." Her eyes fell down. She didn't look at him.

"Whose pretending?" Carlisle asked gently.

"We are…we both are." Esme raised her voice. "You know we are."

"What are we pretending?" He asked lifting his hand to her once more, but she took a slow stuttered step back closer to the edge of her desk. His hand fell to his side.

"We're pretending…we're pretending." Her sobs started to come back. "We're pretending that we can work. You-you-you know we can't work."

I couldn't see the expression Carlisle gave her, but mine was filled with disbelief. Out of everyone, their relationship COULD work.

"It can work." Carlisle agreed with me.

"No it can't. It can't! It can't! IT CAN'T!" Esme shrieked at him, her voice became unnaturally ugly and disgusting. I had never heard Esme raise her voice before.

"Yes it can." Carlisle remained soft and kind.

"You saw!" She put her hands up to her mouth, covering her gasps for air.

"Saw what?" Carlisle asked. He didn't seem at all disturbed by Esme's behavior.

"You saw it. All of it. Everything. I…I'm so weak." Esme looked like she would faint.

"I don't understand." Carlisle took another step towards her and Esme didn't take a step back.

"You saw me." She gasped for air and her cheeks glistened from the lights. "The chemo. The nausea. The pain. I was so weak…I-I-I am so weak." She fell to her knees and Carlisle hands were immediately at her elbows lowering her down slowly. He knelt down beside her.

"You are not weak." Carlisle said softly to her as he leaned in closer to her trembling body.

"Yyyes I am. I couldn't take it. The chemo. The cancer. I couldn't…I wasn't strong enough. Yo-you were disg…disgusted. I'm we-we-so-weak."

"You are the strongest person I know Esme. You have the biggest sweetest heart in the world. You never have anything bad to say about anyone. You always help everyone. You're so gentle and kind. You're absolutely genius and so strong."

"I…I'm not. I'm not! I'm NOT!" Esme raised her head and looked up at him with her hands still covering her mouth as she sobbed and gasped deeply for air.

"You are. Your body is just weak right now from the surgery. Your body is just getting used to the change. You need time." Carlisle sounded rational.

"I lost my hair and...and my dignity! And now…now…now…I lost –"

"You're hair grew back darling. You became stronger and better after the chemo. Let me take care of you and make you better again."

Esme bent over and cried into her hands. "You can't. I can't. You saw it…you took it out."

"You would have died if we didn't take it out." Carlisle said running one of his hands through her hair and then pushed her head towards him and she leaned in to cry on his chest.

"I wanted to keep it. I wanted to keep it. I wanted…I wanted…I needed to keep it Carlisle." I could barely make out what she said into his shirt.

"You couldn't keep it Esme." His voice didn't become filled with sadness like Esme's did.

"Yes I could!" Esme whaled deeply and pushed him away again. "There was still a chance."

"You would have died!" Carlisle voice was fierce and frightening.

"I don't care." Esme began to rock back and forth.

"I care." Carlisle said.

"No….no…I can't have children now. No children." Esme pulled her hands from her face and raised them up in front of her chest as if she were holding a newborn. "I can't give you children." Her arms trembled in front of him and he responded by grabbing her hands. He held them tightly.

"I don't want children. I don't want anything in this world, Esme. My sweet, my dear. I don't want anything else but you." I joined in Esme's tears.

"We will never have children! Doesn't that mean anything to you?!" Esme's shouts were in a strong whisper. "I can't have children. I'll never…never…" Her sobs became uncontrollable.

"No that doesn't mean anything to me. Esme. You're the one I want. You. Only you. Everything you are is what I want."

"I can't give you anything!" Esme shouted again trying to pull her hands away from him but he wouldn't let her go.

"I didn't ask for anything. All I ask is you go back and rest, the surgery was complicated and too much movement can cause some damages." Carlisle leant in closer to her.

"You don't want me. You don't! It's not the same! You're not the same!" Esme continued to try to break free from him.

Carlisle tugged her closer to him, almost violently. "Esme, I have not changed at all. I have not changed in any way."

"You, you." Esme's sobs were so uncontrollable, her chest kept heaving up and down as if her heart and lungs were about to burst out. "You don't feel…you do-don't feel the same. You don't love me anymore." She said between her sobs.

"I love you more than anything." When Carlisle said that he turned his head slightly, and in his eyes I saw it.

_That look. _

He loved her more than anything in the world.

"You can't." Esme denied him.

"I do."

"You asked me…years ago…." She couldn't finish talking it was too hard for her.

"To marry me." He finished for her.

She nodded and her sobs became worse. Her head fell down between her hands that Carlisle held.

"I asked you to marry me, and then you had an attack." His voice was smooth and evenly toned, he tried to remain as calm as he could. "I couldn't put anymore pressure onto you when we found the cancer."

I saw Esme's mouth open and close like she was trying to speak but no words escaped her lips. Carlisle continued talking; "I love you Esme. I couldn't put any pressure on you. I couldn't do that to you. Then last week when we had to take out your uterus…Esme you don't know how hard it was for me. Not because you can't have children, but because I had to watch you suffer. I had to watch you hate yourself." His voice cracked. "Fine, Esme…hate yourself as much as you want. But I will love you ten times, no – a thousand times more than you could ever hate yourself. Just please let me love you. Let me. Please." Carlisle voice had cracked into uneven emotionally charged words.

Esme's mouth had closed shut and she stopped trying to break free from Carlisle but her sobs and crying did not subside.

"Esme, from the moment we met you were the only one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I could not imagine a world where I could exist without you. No matter what our lives would turn into. Whether our future held the prospect of children or didn't. If we were rich or if we were poor. I don't care. The only thing I want is you. I want you to let me love you, and maybe you can learn to love me back." Carlisle no longer controlled himself in front of her. His eyes were glazed with tears trying to escape.

Her sobs came to a sudden halt, and she lifted her trembling body up slowly and looked him into his eyes.

"I love you." She said in a voice that had grown hoarse from crying and screaming.

"Then Esme. My love. My sweet. My precious. My everything. My butterfly. Will you marry me?" He asked letting go of her hands and reached into his pocket to pull a small red velvet box from his white doctor's coat.

Esme's eyes widened in utter surprise and recognition.

"I had never taken it away from me since I first asked." He said pulling the top of the box open. Inside I could see a huge ring, with a dozen diamonds shaped into a single large butterfly. "I love you." He said. "Please let me be yours." He asked her.

Tears continued to stream down from her eyes as her weak hands reached towards the ring, and he took it out and placed it gently on her ring finger. It was loose, but that was probably from Esme's sudden weight loss.

She looked up at him the whole time.

_Giving him that look. _

"You…you love me? Really love me?" She asked him as her hands fell to her lap weakly. She didn't even look at the diamonds.

"I love you, and only you. Forever and for eternity."

"I…I want children. I want children so badly." Esme looked at him pleading. "I want it back."

"I can't do that Esme. But we can adopt. We can adopt a house full of children." Carlisle wiped a tear that escaped from the edge of his eye with the heel of his palm.

Esme nodded and a tiny smile of hope crept across her lips.

"Now as your almost husband. I demand you to let me take you to bed and rest. I promise we can talk more." Carlisle spoke softly brushing Esme's hair behind her ear. "Please?"

Esme nodded to him and he reached his arms out, indicating that he was going to carry her. I turned around with my back pressed up against the table and curled up into a tight ball.

The lights went off, and the door closed behind them as they went to enter the medical section.

And at that moment I realized what I had to do.

* * *

Esme and Carlisle's relationship.

I think it's important to marry and love a person for who they are, and build a strong emotional and mental foundation which will lead to a successful love. What a person can and can't give you physically can change over time but if the loves strong you will remember why you love that person throughout all the good and bad times and stay together 'forever'.Your mental and emotional love has to be strong. Which is what I wanted Esme and Carlisle to demonstrate.

Also; sorry if your annoyed of me talking and not "Bella" talking...but; Esme's operation was called; Hysterectomies. It removes all chances of becoming pregnant...AND starts menopause. Which is why her hormones are out of whack right now. She's really young to be experiencing something like that...and if you remember in Twilight she had jumped off the cliff after her newborn had died (I know there was a little more to it) but main point - having children was important to Esme.

Anyhows R&R!! Next chapter will be Bella's LONG awaited response to Edwards paper! And I love it! :x hehe...now to actually get it outta my head and type it up.


	18. Bella's Response

**Friday**

Once I had completed my response to Edward; it was 3:09 A.M, and I easily passed out cuddled near my sea of my previous failures by my new window. I hadn't slept in my own bed in nearly a week.

I woke up at 2:04 P.M.; I managed to sleep through the whine of my cell phone alarm that was probably too far for me to hear in my deep slumber. When I realized that it was Friday…also known as THE DAY, my eyes shot open immediately and strange warmth and pent up anticipation spread throughout my body. I shuffled out of my manmade death trap and rushed into the bathroom without doing back flips.

I turned on the shower and quickly stripped down till I was naked. I fumbled with my clothes longer than I wanted to, but my fingers wouldn't remain steady. I was far too excited to act normal.

I looked at myself in the mirror. My whole body seemed to shine. I looked brand new. I looked reborn. Most of all I looked happy. And that was just my face. My eyes traveled down the rest of my body, my arm was still bandaged and I reminded myself to be careful not to get it too wet. My chest heaved up and down too quickly because of my accelerated breathing and quickening heart. My legs were antsy and shaking with the need of action. I tried to take a deep breath and relax, but it was a wasteful effort. I could not relax.

A sly smile reflected at me in the mirror as I squeezed toothpaste on my toothbrush and prepared to brush my teeth till they sparkled.

_Today was the day! _

I felt like I was floating on clouds. My stomach rumbled with butterflies and bubbled with intensity. My smile grew even more and I let out a little happy squeal that caused some of my toothpaste to spill from the side of my mouth. I looked absolutely mentally handicapped.

_Edward made me handicapped! _

I spat out the toothpaste foam into the sink and continued brushing.

_I am about to have a relationship! _

_A real relationship! With someone who loves me! _

And I was going to do my damn best to make sure I made Edward happy because I could only imagine the lengths he would go to make me happy. His sanity might travel towards Emmett's type of thinking.

_Mine already had. _

Finally when I finished brushing my teeth and rinsing my mouth out; I tested the water and stepped inside the bathtub anxiously wanting to be over with my shower before it even began. The water was lukewarm but my insides were heated and tingled with a special feeling that I still couldn't place my finger on. I rushed through the shampoo and conditioner roughly and if my nails were sharp I might have scratched my skull to blood. I began to hum an unknown tone to myself as I used my green bath sponge to clumsily soap up my body.

I felt like a giddy teenager about to go on their first date.

When I stepped out of the shower, I grabbed the towel hastily and rubbed it all over my body as I rushed out the bathroom; I didn't even bother to wrap it around myself as I walked naked into my room. I picked out the black lacey panties and matching bra that Alice had given me to make up for Edward not buying me any. I checked myself out in the mirror and bent over looking at my butt.

I wondered if he would like my butt.

I checked myself out from the front and struck a pose with my hands on my hips and then I bursted into giggles. My fake confidence amused me. I'd never be able to actually stand in front of Edward, with my hands on my hips while wearing lingerie all the while trying to look seductive. I'd probably trip over myself while standing still.

_But Edward would catch me. _

I turned my attention to my closet after my little private show to the mirror. I picked out black thigh high stockings, along with a silky black tight miniskirt. Then I tried on a black low v-neck cotton blouse that accentuated my cleavage and made my boobs look huge.

I looked at myself in the mirror and couldn't even recognize myself. I looked like a teenager going through a "phase". I was too old to look like that.

I immediately took off the outfit and tossed them over my shoulder.

Next outfit; a long blue skirt and a thick blue knitted sweater with large stitches; it itched.

I looked at myself and thought of my grandmother. I began to strip again and threw the clothes to the growing pile of rejects.

I never had second thoughts on what I wanted to wear. Before it was getting Alice to let me wear what I wanted, but now I couldn't find what I wanted…Now I was going through my closet unable to find anything suitable to wear.

_Suitable to wear for Edward…._

Next…I tried on black tight slacks, with a black tank top, and a tight black blazer over the tank top. I looked like an attorney.

"Edward Cullen you're charged with being too yummy!" I spoke into the mirror pointing my finger back at myself. I broke into another fit of laughter.

I was truly losing my mind.

I discarded that outfit and flipped through my closet looking for something else.

Next I tried on a simple bright red cocktail dress that stopped at my knees. I looked like the wife of some rich business executive or that business executive's mistress.

I tore it off immediately and stood nearly naked in front of the mirror in complete disarray.

Tears were starting to form in my eyes. The first outfit was fun…but it got old…fast. I wanted to find something Edward would like.

_I should just go to class naked…Every guy likes a naked girl. _

I turned back to the closet that was causing my disappointment. I spotted a pair of jeans I hadn't noticed before. I tugged them off the hanger that held them and checked the tag; Pixie stamped and it was my size. I tried them on and before I turned to the mirror I looked for a matching top.

_Dress normal. _

_Normal._

_What I'd usually wear. _

_What would I usually wear?_

A navy blue turtle neck caught my eye. It was perfect for the dark blue jeans I wore. I slowly put it on and tugged the ends down to make sure it fit well and covered me.

I looked in the mirror as I fixed the sweaters cuffs. I looked good. The outfit showed off my curves, but it did not cling to my body. It was perfect.

A weak smile formed on my face.

I looked like a dressed up Bella. I liked it. I sighed at the reflection of the mountain of clothes that formed behind me. I would get to that later…maybe.

I moved towards my dresser and grabbed my brush. I tried to untangle my wet hair as I nearly broke into a skip towards the living room.

I kicked some of my crumpled forsaken works as I walked towards the kitchen counter. I really needed to clean up the papers.

_I would get to that tonight. _

_Before…_

Once my hair felt presentable, I placed my brush on the counter next to my keys, phone, and student papers. The top paper held Edward's cover, but the contents were mine. I would never return his soul to him; it was a present he gave to me and I accepted. I would take care of it forever. Now it was his turn to accept my present.

I took his paper off the top and placed it on the very bottom. I had to make sure I'd call on him last. I checked my phone, 2:45 P.M. I had 15 minutes till class started. I put my keys into my pocket and scooped up the student papers. I slipped on my sneakers without the need to retie them. I opened the door and locked it. I broke into an almost-run down the stairs where I magically managed not to trip and tumble down. I didn't need another hospital visit.

The sky was cloudy and the ground was wet, but in-between it was fresh and breezy. I walked carefully avoiding all the puddles and made my way to the campus.

_Edward!_

_Edward! _

_I was going to see Edward! _

_We were going to get somewhere in our relationship today! _

I had never felt so excited in my whole life. Today was a mystery. There was nothing to expect, the only thing that was certain was that I would give him my response. Then the ball would be in his field.

_He would toss the ball back…and maybe one day we'd be in the same field without the need of a ball to connect us. _

I entered my building with a little sprint. I was excited. The prospect of a new relationship, a new friendship, a new life was intoxicating. Life became a blank when Edward entered my life.

I didn't want to live alone.

I wanted to live with him.

I unlocked the door to my office and walked in. Jasper wasn't there but he had left my planner, grade book, Dicken's novel, and some photocopies I would need for today's lesson on my desk. I didn't have time to care or wonder about him.

He was Alice's problem, and Alice was avoiding all her problems…therefore he wasn't my problem yet.

Edward was my problem.

_No._

_He's my solution. _

I looked at the clock on my wall; 2:57 P.M.

I was going to be late for class.

I grabbed all my belongings for the day and headed out the door. My 'gunshot' wounded arm was virtually controllable now and didn't feel strange when I moved it around. I rushed to class while brushing my hair with my fingers trying to straighten out the tangled webs that the wind made.

I wondered if anyone would notice that, without a (real) reason, I dressed up a bit more than usual. Alice would be proud.

Edward was going to be there; I was damn well going to try to dazzle him how he dazzled me. I entered into a chattering classroom.

_There he was. _

In a black turtle neck and navy blue jeans, along with his stunningly beautiful face. All of a sudden I didn't feel as pretty as I did moments ago. He was too beautiful.

The class looked up to me.

"Welcome back Proff!" Shouted Alex.

"Welcome back to reality." Kiran said sarcastically as she turned around to face me.

The class joined in with mumbles of "welcome back" and "we missed you"s. I thanked everyone as I walked towards my desk. I tried to keep my attention on the center of the room, and not in the front right hand corner where Edward's gorgeous herculean body sat.

"Sooooooo….wow okay. I've been M-I-A for a while. Sorry, but I'm sure Jasper did a good job at substituting for me." I tasted bitterness when I said his name.

"Now then. Your papers. Good job for the most part. And for those of you who lied, good job at fiction. Those of you who told the truth; very interesting personal analysis of your own humanity. Now since I haven't gotten a chance to input the grades, I'll call you up and put in your grade at the same time. Deal? While you're waiting you can chatter or ignore me by catching up in your Tale of Two Cities readings."

I took my seat at the desk. I rarely did that, and it felt uncomfortable actually sitting in front of the teachers' desk. I liked walking around in front of my students.

I placed everything neatly on the desk.

I looked up once, stealing a glance at Edward. He was looking at me and I tried to keep a straight face as l looked down but I couldn't keep the corners of my mouth straight and eventually my cheekbones rose in acceptance. I smiled.

Knowing that he was looking at me, wondering what I would do, and probably at least half as excited as I was made me smile.

We were like acting like high school kids. And that was fine by me. My adolescence was boring. He was spicing up my adult life and he was the perfect spice to any meal.

I opened up my grade book and took out my orange pen and called the first name. I flipped to the last page and inputted their grade at the same time as they walked up to retrieve their paper.

"Remember – grades on the last page." I said after the second student came up.

I continued calling names and inputting grades, till the last paper. Edwards paper. I closed my grade book and softly called, "Edward Masen."

He stood up slowly and without a sound and came up to get his paper. Or at least what he believed to be his paper. The class went silent and everyone looked up. I could see their curiosity and some of them had already started whispering. Angela smiled sheepishly at me and I avoided her gaze by watching as Edward approach me.

_So beautiful. _

_Inside and out. _

I handed him his paper and he took it, gracefully thanking me. I gave him another smile, and he gave me a smile…and we looked at each other. That was first time, together; we smiled and looked at one another that I would actually remember. I planned to honor the memory forever.

Quickly, before the class could get a discussion going about Edward's paper, I began class.

"So, who here knits?" I asked standing up from my chair.

No one raised their hand.

"Okay, what do you think knitting symbolizes in the book?" I walked to the front of the classroom and leaned back on the edge of my desk, my eyes glanced at Edward as he opened his paper. I saw some students trying to lean over to get a look and he closed it immediately to avoid prying eyes but the smirk was already implanted on his face. He accepted my present.

He looked at me with a soft expression, his eyes expressed absolute content as we locked glances for a second before a student spoke and I had to turn my attention over.

"It's like Death's Santa list." Kiran said.

"What the fuck?" Max asked.

"Think of it genius, Santa has a naughty and nice list. That wine lady has a naughty list." Kiran said rolling her eyes at Max's slowness.

"You make it sound so sexual." Gary teased.

"Everything sounds sexual to someone not getting any."

"Go fuck yourself Kiran." Gary got bitter.

I intervened before Kiran could say anything to make Gary cry.

"Good description Kiran. Now what classifies someone as being bad or good?"

"For or against the revolution." Replied James nonchalantly.

"Not true." Said Carry-Ann. "They were chopping heads off right and left. Even those that didn't deserve it."

"What about that little boy…oh my god that was so sad." Samantha said sympathetically.

"What boy?" Tom asked confused.

"Someone hasn't been reading." I said with fake disappointment. I knew everyone read as much as they could, and I wasn't going to go nitpicking a few chapter differences.

"Someone want to describe the scene with Marquis?" I asked leaning off my desk and taking a step closer to the students.

Angela offered a descriptive explanation of the scene in the market. It was hard to keep my eyes off Edward especially when he sat right next to Edward. I stopped trying after I got a good angle where Angela couldn't tell if I was looking at her or Edward.

_So so so beautiful. _

_Such a beautiful soul. _

_Such a beautiful heart. _

_Such a beautiful soul. _

_And he loves me. _

I was swooning mentally.

"Power to the dude that threw the money back." Alex said when Angela finished.

"Human life doesn't have a price." Samantha said.

"Uh, yea it does Miss. Perfect." Kiran said bitterly.

And from then on, the class traveled steadily into small debates about the book. I didn't try to get any point across; I wanted to get a feel of where they were in the readings and how they were feeling about the book.

Apparently a lot of kids weren't enjoying Dickens.

I ended class when I noticed a few kids in the back begin to pack. "Okay, read up to the third part of the book for next class. No assignment for today. We'll be following the syllabus starting next week." I said walking slowly back to my desk pretending to organize things and write something in my planner while the children left.

I looked up.

He was sitting leisurely looking at me, with a very deep smirk on his face.

He expected me to speak.

So I did.

"Take the tape off. Check the back. And then open it up." I said grabbing my books from the desk and brought them to my chest as I looked at him. He nodded and I made my way out of the classroom, knowing that he was watching me.

I walked towards my office imaging him gently examine the flat origami heart taped to a blank piece of paper. I thought of his fingers running along the edge and his lovely eyes admiring the pathetic coloring I'd done. I had taken all of my multi-colored highlighters and colored rainbows of patches into the paper. Then I wrote on it, folded it into a heart, and taped it to a blank piece of paper.

Esme taught me that I didn't need to give him what I couldn't. Instead I would give Edward what I could. I could not write to him like he wrote to me.

_That was Edward. _

_This was me. _

I imagined him slowly peeling the heart off and turning it over and seeing my address and 9:00 P.M written on it. I wondered if he would think that was very bold of me.

_I bet he thinks I'm confident. _

I breathed a smirk as I turned the knob of my door and walked into my office. I placed my books down on my desk and sat at the edge of my chair with my elbows on the table and my hands holding up my chin.

I imagined him slowly undoing my very intricate and complicated folded heart. He would read the words I carefully picked out for him when it became unraveled;

**I am scared and insecure.**

**I am emotionally fragile and lack in confidence.**

**I am clumsy and a magnet for accidents.**

**I jump to conclusions and my logic hardly makes sense.**

**Pop culture eludes me and I don't watch T.V much.**

**I suck at poetry and I can't convey my emotions appropriately.**

**And I like you.**

I wondered if he would read too deeply into it.

I debated if he would still show up at my door at 9:00 P.M.

I hadn't the faintest idea what we would do, or what we would talk about. I just knew we needed to actually have a conversation. And something inside told me that when we would actually get to talk, that we would click. We would fit.

He would fill my empty hands and close the gaps of my fingers.

I didn't realize that I had given him my real heart long before I gave him my origami heart.

I passed my time between my classes in the library, helping to organize the books. I needed to keep my hands and mind busy or else I'd start hyperventilating.

Alice called me twice and I debated on telling her about Edward but each time I almost got the words to slip out Alice would say something to start another conversation.

I taught my Creative Writing class with more emotion than normal. Their next paper was due Monday. 10 page action scene. It didn't need a plot; it just needed to convey physical or emotional contact.

I spoke a little too much about love.

When I dismissed the class, I was the first one out the door – I had to get home and clean up. After all, I was going to have company. VERY IMPORTANT COMPANY.

_If he would come over…_

I tried to push negative thoughts out of my mind as I carefully rushed home. The sky was a bright orange from the sunset; I admired it as I crossed the street to my apartment. My stomach churned with excited butterflies fluttering back and forth.

"Belllllllls!"

I turned around to meet Emmett running towards me. He wore a red baseball hat that flattened his hair so I couldn't see his eyes. As usual he was wearing basketball shorts, black ones, and a red t shirt with Popi the Sailor on his chest striking a pose.

"Emmett!"

_He could shorten my to-do list! _

"Hey." He kissed my forehead.

I looked up at him trying to do the puppy dog eyes; I assumed that they would work on Emmett. I had no right to ask a favor of him, but I was going to.

He raised his eyebrow. "Are you going to have a stroke?"

"Wow, you suck." Emmett chuckled as he walked with me down the block towards my apartment building.

"I need help."

"Sure, whatcha want me to do?"

"Grocery shopping?"

"Sure."

Emmett held the door into the lobby of my building.

"So what's the occasion?"

I could tell him Alice was coming home and we were going to have a girl's night.

But I didn't.

"Company."

But I also didn't tell the whole truth right away either.

"What kind of company?" He asked as he dashed up the stairs, already a flight ahead of me. I bent over and looked up through the railing gaps to see him bending over his railing looking down at me.

"Edward." I said, and that feeling came back to me. That tingle in my chest, with the tightening of my muscles, and then the feeling vibrated all over my body. It caught my breath and I stood motionless for a moment. It felt so good. Then the gooseflesh came and the feeling went away.

Just saying his name drove me crazy.

Emmett had already climbed up to my apartment while I was still on the second floor.

He didn't say anything about my company pickings till I reached the door.

"He's coming over?"

"Yes, I invited him." I said unlocking my door and pushing it open.

"You invited him in your apartment."

"Yes?"

_Oh…._

_Crap…_

"Do you have condoms? I'll buy so – holy fuck." Emmett stared at my living room with disbelief. Or at least the section with the crumbled papers. "Damn you got to work on massacring the rainforests when I left."

"Shhh, I'll clean it up now." I turned around to face him as I took off my shoes with the help of the heel of my other shoe. "Can you run to the grocery store for me?"

"Condoms?"

I blushed.

_Maybe? _

"No." I said sternly. "I invited him to talk."

"You invited him over your house. That's like a bootycall."

"It is not!"

I began to worry that Edward thought like Emmett. I was not a skank. I didn't plan to put out to Edward. Well eventually…but not on our first date.

_Oh my god this was a date!_

_I was having a date! _

Emmett must have seen the panic in my face. "Chill Bells. Relax. I know he doesn't think it's a bootycall, he has enough sense to know that you have none." He teased placing another kiss on my forehead to comfort me. I felt like I was about to combust from my newly acquired nervousness. "I'll get whatever you want me to get." Emmett said.

"I don't need the condoms."

"I'll get whatever you want me to get and a thing or two you don't want me to." He corrected himself giving me a big smirk.

I sighed.

"Okay, I'm making chicken parmesan and a salad. I need…" I listed off the ingredients to him. He nodded his head at each word that came out of my mouth. He swore he would remember everything.

"Aye aye captain." He gave me a little salute and placed the goodbye kiss on my forehead.

_I closed the door behind him. _

_Oh my god, this is a date. _

_I'm cooking for him. _

_It's a dinner date._

_Do I need a movie? _

_Do I have movies? _

I turned to walk towards my Television to look for DVDs.

_I need to clean that mess! _

I turned around again and walked towards the landfill.

_I need to find someplace to store that mess! _

I turned around again and walked into my kitchen behind the counter and began to open and close drawers. I remembered having those huge garbage bags somewhere.

_Where? _

_Where! _

_Where?! _

_Found it! _

I began to stuff the 5 foot long clear bag full of papers. When the bag was filled to the edge, I sat on it to flatten the pages and continued refilling it. When I finished I stuffed the bag in the unseen corner behind the curtains. I went into my room next to put my clothes back into my closet.

I didn't realize that I was cleaning my room, the room with the bed, for Edward. When I was hanging up my black miniskirt I heard the door open and close.

"Honey I'm home!" Emmett shouted and I rolled my eyes. I gave up trying to hang the pathetic piece of fabric and tossed it on one of the top shelves and skipped my way to Emmett.

I was still excited.

He was laying out the groceries, and I didn't fail to miss the big box of condoms he got.

"What the hell is this, a lifetime supply?" I asked picking it up and examining it.

"It's a one day supply for the horny."

I stared at him and he chuckled. I rolled my eyes and hid the condoms in a bottom drawer next to where I stored my grandmother's old plates. I needed to get around to decorating my apartment with them one day….The plates not the condoms.

I turned my attention back to Emmett and helped him unpack. He brought everything on my list, along with a little extra. I picked up the wine bottle to examine it.

"It's one of Roses favorites. It's really good." He said when I tried to read the Italian words.

_Really expensive…_

"Emmett I can't accept this."

"Sure you can. I have like 100 of those bottles at home."

"How many are in circulation?"

"99 after you guys drink this." He grinned.

I gasped. "Emmett please!"

"Please Bella. Come on. The dude makes you happy. Besides I like him too."

I raised my eyebrow as he placed the chicken meat on the counter.

"Not like that Bella. Unless Rose gets a sex change, I'm not interested."

I laughed and placed the wine bottle down on the counter and went towards the cabinets up against the wall and got out two never used wine glasses.

Emmett continued talking, "I talked to him a bit. When he came to check up on you, and he goes to the gym too you know. He's a cool guy. Plus his bikes saaa-weeeee-tttt."

"What do you know about him?" I asked as I began to stuff the plastic bags into an open plastic bag and then placed it in one of my bottom cabinets where I kept plastic bags to be used as garbage bags.

"Nothing that I'm going to tell you."

"I hate you."

"I love you."

"Get out; I need to get to cooking." I said gently pushing him aside.

"I haven't seen you this….glowy happy ever before." Emmett said leaning over the counter to examine me closer.

I hid a smile as I opened my oven and began to remove all the pots and pans I kept inside.

"I like him." I finally said when I was done cleaning the inside of the oven but when I turned around, Emmett was nowhere to be found.

All he left on the counter was a DVD. It was one of mine. "V for Vendetta." I smirked. I loved that movie.

_Dinner and a movie. _

_A date. _

_With Edward. _

_And me. _

_Together. _

My smile widened tenfold and I turned my attention to cooking. I finally understood what passionate cooking ment.

* * *

Sweet & Simple that's our little Bella. And over excited and over reacting...Hehe. But remember, this is her first real relationship that has a promise of future prospect. And it's Edward...who wouldn't be a giddy school girl for Edward? :P

I could never recreate Edward's confession into Bella's response. I hope no one was disappointed!

Let me know what you think :)


	19. On One Condition

8:45 P.M. my phone read.

_15 minutes _

_15 minutes_

_15 minutes _

I took a deep breath. The smell of chicken parmesan in the oven was enticing. I was a good cook.

I flipped open my phone once more and did what any good friend who's scared to hear their best friend's response about a very important matter; I sent a text message. I sighed as my fingers danced across the keypad to I typed what I was too much of a coward to say.

**To: Alice**

**Message: Hey, Edward is coming over in 15 mins. hopefully. im sorry. i suck for not telling you sooner. forgive me? **

Within moments my phone gave a ding from a text message received.

**From: Alice **

**Message: . . . I WANT DETAILS! His shoe size, his shoulders to hips ratio, & pictures of him half naked wearing my clothes….& DETAILS! have fun! B safe! Use condomz! **

I groaned at Alice's condoms reference. I was not going to have sex.

_No sex. _

I placed the phone on my counter and went back to washing the plump baby rose red tomatoes in the sink. My hands trembled as the water splashed off my fingers. My body started to sweat vigorously as if I was running a marathon. As the time remaining disappeared, so did my confidence.

I reminded myself to re-put on my deodorant and drown myself in perfume.

_Only a date. _

_Only a date. _

_Only a date with EDWARD!_

The first guy I have liked since…since…hmmm…I never did like Mike or Aro much. I just dated them because they liked me. I grew dependent on them over time. Then they rejected me and left my heart wounded. But that was because they didn't care.

_Edward cares. _

_I care._

_Edward likes me._

_I like him too._

_Edward loves me._

I concentrated on washing on the tomatoes.

28 tomatoes washed. I placed two in my mouth and chewed quickly without tasting much. I had been picking and "taste testing" the ingredients all day. I forgot to eat since I woke up, and reminded myself to put food in my mouth so I wouldn't eat like a pig in front of Edward.

26 tomatoes. I placed them in the salad bowl and got out the bleu cheese dressing from the fridge. I had two bottles, one was expired and could cause food poisoning to the undead, while the other Emmett had recently purchased. I checked the expiration date before tipping it over into the salad bowl.

I was nervous. Overanalyzing it, it seemed strange to have gone to such great lengths for a first date. But I just had to. There was no choice in it. I had to do this for Edward. I licked the bleu cheese dressing that got on my fingers and opened the fridge again.

I had questions ready for him whenever we would come to an awkward silence. I was ready. I placed the dressing back on one of the shelves; I'd need to throw away the old dressing sometime…sometime…someday. I grabbed a white plastic bag filled with grapes from the back of the fridge. I emptied out the contents to a small soup bowl and placed it under the running water in the sink. Then I toss the grapes either in my mouth or in the salad bowl.

I wondered if he'd dress up.

_Maybe I should change. _

_Into what? _

I looked across the living room at the clock on the wall. I had to squint, but it told me I had about 5 minutes left.

_5 minutes… _

_Till Edward._

_Till Edward and me. _

_Till Edward and I._

I chucked as I grammatically corrected my thoughts. I put another grape in my mouth. Then I realized what I was doing. I was putting grapes in my salad. That was something I always did for myself and every time Alice was over she would cringe and call it gross. I'd always have to make a separate salad just for her.

_What if Edward called it gross? _

The doorbell rang.

He was early! I nearly choked on the grape I had tried to swallow. I coughed into my hands as I tried to regain my composer.

_No dying now! _

_Die later! _

_No choking! _

_Stop! Stop! Stop!_

_Breathe!_

I was able to swallow the grape after a few near gagging coughs.

Then I REALLY began to panic.

Mentally; my thoughts raced so quickly that I could not keep up with them. I washed my hands quickly and I turned off the water, put another grape in my mouth, and tried to fix my hair as I walked to the door. I mind was out of control, I had no idea what I was supposed to do anymore. As disoriented as I was, I should have been grateful that I didn't trip over myself and break my leg before opening the door.

Nothing felt real.

I opened the door.

There he was. In all his beautiful glory. His hair looked honey colored in the hallway light. His forehead was smooth and even, showing no signs of worry. His brows were arched perfectly adding to his lusty cocky complexion. His eyes were soft and gentle and once our eyes locked, I couldn't look anywhere else. Eventually I noticed he wore a sapphire red silk button down shirt tucked into black slacks.

"Hi." He said.

"Hi." I said.

We just continued staring at each other tenderly. Both of us were totally content in our absorption of one another. Then his hands slowly raised and I noticed that he was holding a basket of flowers.

"For you." He said.

The basket itself was a masterpiece. It was both hand painted and crafted woven wood. It was decorated with orange tree leaves, like the ones you see falling in autumn. I looked at the flowers; they were breathtaking and very attractive. There seemed to be 50 fit into that small basket. One of every color and available species in Forks, I guessed. It was a condensed rainforest. The smell was very nice as well, I could only smell hints of the sweet flowers because of my over powering chicken parmesan in the oven, but it was enough to bring me to my toes for some odd reason. As if I was getting ready to kiss him.

I looked back up into his sunset forest eyes as I took the basket from him. "Thank you so much." I said sweetly. The tingle returned, and I felt my insides heat up as if I were inches away from a fireplace.

He was so beautiful. He radiated his beauty and kindness onto me.

We were standing at a threshold, and he didn't beg to be let in. We were both so lost in each other, that it didn't matter. Although, I eventually realized my rudeness and stepped aside, "oh, um, I'm sorry. Come in. Please."

He smiled and bowed his head politely as he stepped past me. He was observant because he automatically took off his shoes before taking another step into my living room. I was so grateful.

I looked down at the flowers he got me. They were so gorgeous. Like he took them right out of a painting. Then sadness hit me. My green thumb existed in an alternate universe. I'd end up killing all the flowers.

He noticed my sad expression and guess what I was thinking. "Only two are real. You won't kill them all." He said reassuring me. I was positive I had subconsciously put a metaphor or two hinting on my murderous tendencies to plants and fish in one of my papers. Leave it to Edward to understanding the meaning.

"Which are real?" I asked leading him into the living room.

"The ones that you'll kill." He teased me.

I looked over my shoulder and stuck my tongue out. I felt childish, silly, and was making a horrible first impression. But I didn't care. I forgot everything I planned to say. I forgot the walk I practice. I forgot the way I'd twist my hair around my finger. I forgot everything I'd fake to be attractive.

I was being real.

I lead him towards the kitchen counter and placed the basket at the very end. It looked out of place in my simple run down kitchen.

"Oh, umm. Well. Uh this is my kitchen; over there is my living room. Ummm, down there is the hallway, on the right is the bathroom and further down is my room." My tour was pathetic but I really didn't have much to show. The kitchen/living room was already almost all of my apartment.

He looked everywhere I pointed and nodded to me.

"Simple. I like it. It suits you."

I smiled. "Oh, uh. Have a seat!" I said nearly jumping out of my own skin when I remember the grapes were still in the salad.

_Please don't be disgusted. _

_Please please please don't be disgusted! _

He sat on the outside perimeter of the counter and I sat on the inside. My stools resembled those by the bar in clubs. It wasn't anything special.

_I need a dining table. _

"The windows a nice touch." He commented.

I rolled my eyes. "Alice's touch."

"She's a good friend." He said.

"Yes!" I agreed. I felt so foolish. I was barely making an attempt at conversation with him.

"V for Vendetta?" He asked.

I looked down and noticed that I left the DVD between our plates.

"Oh. Well. I thought maybe; dinner and a movie…" I trailed off; I didn't know how to continue.

"Very cliché."

"You brought the flowers." I retorted.

"Touche." He chuckled.

I bit my lip to try to keep myself from smiling. He understood me and stayed light hearted.

He looked at me.

I looked at him.

He smiled.

I smiled.

He, himself, was a work of art that I could not take my eyes off. Even the flowers seemed disgraceful near his inhumane beauty.

"You are absolutely lovely." He said with such charisma in his voice; I would have jumped on him and kissed his face till my lips became bruised if I didn't have my legs wrapped around the bar of my stool to restrain me.

I blushed. I was too embarrassed to compliment him back.

"Are you allergic to anything?" I asked as I stood up from my seat and turned to the other side of the counter. I picked up the bowl and placed it between us.

_I should have complimented him! _

_I was being so pathetic!_

_And he was being so romantic!_

"Nope, unless breathless is an allergic reaction to being around you."

_So corny!_

It darkened my already red blush.

"You're filled with pick up lines aren't you?" I asked as I lifted his plate up and placed my special grape filled salad onto it with the salad spoon.

"Would you prefer." He paused as I placed his salad filled plate in front of him.

I looked at him.

He looked at me.

"One day I wrote her name upon the strand,

But came the waves and washed it away;

Again I wrote it with a second hand,

But came the tide, and made my pains his prey."

I cut him off.

"Vain man, said she, that dost in vain assay

A mortal thing so to immortalize!

For I myself shall like to this decay,

And eek my name be wiped out likewise"

He cut me off.

"Not so (quoth I), let baser things devise

To die in dust, but you shall live by fame:

My verse your virtues rare shall eternize,

And in the heavens write your glorious name;"

I cut him off.

"Where, whenas death shall all the world subdue,

Our love shall live, and later life renew."

He moved his lips with mine as I spoke the last two lines. Our eyes broke contact and we cleared our throats.

It was as if we were possessed and could not stop ourselves.

It was as if we were living in another world where this wasn't our first date, or first real conversation.

It was as if we had done this a dozen times before.

It was a world I wanted to be a reality.

Edward was the first to speak. "I can't believe I just did that." He chuckled and our eyes connected. "I really do lose myself in your presence."

I nodded.

_So do I. _

"It feels very surreal doesn't it?" I asked him as I put salad on my plate.

"Very." He nodded smiling at me.

I was so glad he was experiencing what I was because it would have been impossible to explain what I felt to him in words.

I sat back down on my stool and then shot up again. "Oh the wine!" I said walking to the sink and grabbed the bottle and placed it between us.

_How do you open a wine bottle? _

"You like wine?" He asked curiously.

"Emmett got it for us." I said as I tried to pull out the soft brown sponge thing.

Edward chuckled and when I looked at him, he was giving me a sympathetic grin. "You need a cork screw." He informed me.

_A what? _

He noticed the confused expression on my face. He stood up from his seat and went around the counter to my side. He walked with the grace of a prince. "It looks like a pocket knife with a twisted metal that has a few loops instead of a blade."

_A what? _

I raised my eyebrow in confusion. I wasn't sure if I had that weapon around.

"Mind if I look?" He asked and I stepped aside with the wine bottle in my hand.

I watched him open my kitchen cabinets and drawers. He looked like he was photoshoped into my kitchen. I smiled. I liked him in my apartment. He didn't seem to belong there, but he fit. Somehow, he just fit.

Then he bent down.

_OH MY GOD! _

_NOT THAT ONE! _

"Uh!! I don't keep anything but grandmother plates there!" I nearly shouted.

He hesitated for a second and moved to the next cabinet. He found what he was looking for. It really did look like a red pocket knife.

I handed him the wine and he opened it; with a twist, a pull and a pop. He poured our wine like a professional and we took our seats across from one another.

"Thank you." I said smiling politely at him as I took a bite of the salad.

"It smells heavenly." He commented as he forked his salad.

_YES! He liked chicken! _

"Chicken parmesan." I said.

He nodded smiling as he placed the salad in his mouth and chewed. I watched his reaction intensely but he gave nothing away. He seemed happy and content from the moment he stepped in the door, and nothing changed.

"Uh, I know most people." I looked down and toyed with the salad with my fork. "They don't like grapes in their salad and think its gross."

"It's delicious Bella." He said and took another bite.

My worry disappeared.

I joined him in eating. He excited and relaxed me in the same time.

"How was your day?" He asked as though it was something he's asked me all my life. As though we've known each other all our lives and this was normal. That eating together was natural and none of what we were doing was in any way new.

"Uh, I woke up like an hour before class started." He chuckled at me and I looked at him.

He looked at me.

We stared at each other till I remembered to speak. "Oh, and well you were there at Novel."

"What was going through your mind today?" He asked taking another bite.

_He chewed with a closed mouth, and made sure to swallow before he talked. _

_He was perfect. _

"Well….ummm…you see….uhhhh…..ehhh….mmmm…hehhehehe." I broke down to a giggle and he laughed softly with me.

"Yea me too." He agreed and I smiled.

He smiled back.

"Are you going to get that?" He asked.

I raised my eyebrow. "Get what?"

Then all of a sudden I heard ringing. My parmesan was done! I had no idea how long my timer was ringing for. I was so absorbed in Edward that the world disappeared. I rushed to take it out of the oven, and I could feel his eyes on me as I fumbled to get a tight grip with the thick mitten.

I placed the tray on top of the stove to cool down and sat back down next to him.

"Do you like chicken parmesan?" I asked.

"I love anything you make." He said and took the last bite of his salad.

"Can I ask you some things?"

He motioned me to ask as he chewed.

"What are we?" I asked.

"That's an incredibly vague question." He remarked.

"What do you consider our relationship to be?"

"What are my choices?" He asked and my face twisted. I couldn't look at him anymore. I felt as though I had spoiled the entire evening with that question.

"Well." He kept talking. "I'll give the options then. A) Friends. B) Boyfriend/Girlfriend. C) Enemies. D) Strangers. E) Soul mates."

I put some salad in my mouth. I still couldn't look at him. I chewed slowly as I listened to him; trying to find the hidden meanings behind his words but they had none.

"Well let's do the process of illumination. Shall we?" I stayed motionless as he kept talking. "We could be friends. I think we'd make good friends, but I do not think that is all we could be. So let's move on. We could be boyfriend and girlfriend, but that of course requires your consent and is not entirely up to me."

I bit my lip trying to hold back my smile.

"I think enemies and strangers are blatantly incorrect and invalid options." He said.

I nodded and raised my eyes to meet his. He smiled as I did and continued talking. "Soul mates; I do believe is the best answer." He concluded.

Time passed filled with silence between us, where neither of us looked away, moved, or gave any attention to the salad. It was as if time stopped and allowed us to register the critical moment that just slipped by.

"What do you think?" Edward asked, sounding uneasy and unsure. I realized then, that he had left himself vulnerable before me. He walked in, confident and strong. He seemed prepared for anything. But now, he had no control. I had all the control and he had no barriers around himself for protection. He was naked.

So metaphorically speaking, I got naked to. I took down my walls. I didn't think when I replied. I didn't edit the words that escaped my lips. I spoke how a child would speak in the heat of the moment; every single word would ring true. I didn't realize what I said till I had already said it.

I let my heart take control and it was the best thing I ever said.

"I think that's a good choice. But I will only accept it on one condition." I said.

I waited for him to ask the condition.

He did.

"That you become my friend as well as my boyfriend and we remain soul mates forever." I said staring into his eyes, into his soul, into his very being that I adored so deeply and passionately.

I was prepared for him to run away. I was prepared for him to second guess himself. I was prepared for him to reconsider.

He did none of those. Instead he smiled, and his confidence and strength returned.

"I love you." He simply said.

"I know." I replied coyly and forked a bleu cheese dripping grape into my mouth. I finished what I had on my plate. He stood up and grabbed the salad spoons and put more on our plates. I was so happy that he enjoyed my strange concoction that repulsed others.

We ate our second portion in silence. Both of us drowning in our own thoughts – forgetting to speak – but both of us knew what the other was thinking. After all, we were thinking and feeling the same thing. We were one.

When we finished eating I asked him, "Want to watch the movie now? I'm feeling full on the salad."

He nodded. "Sounds good. Emmett said it was a good movie."

I grabbed the DVD box from the counter and we walked towards the living room together.

"Oh?" I asked.

I still wasn't sure how much, Emmett and him talked or how friendly they were. But it was Emmett, how could you not like him.

_Unless you were Rosalie. _

"He saw you registered the Film Hall for it."

"Oh….that's right." I said walking towards the Television. I thought I remembered how to put the DVD into the thin black rectangular scary blue blinking box. "I was going to have them read a book for it." I pressed a button or two, nothing happened. The DVD player only flashed the time in florescent blue.

"1984?" He asked. His voice grew closer. He was inches behind me. I could feel his warmth connecting with mine.

"Yea…good book." I mumbled wanting to lean back on him. Wanting him to hold me in his arms.

"Want help?" he asked and nodded. He appeared beside me, clicked and pressed something and the DVD holder shot out. I placed the DVD in.

He walked back to the couch and stood beside it while I shut off the lights. He only sat when I sat and the moment we settled in, our hands found each other and we grasped tightly. By the feel of it, I was convinced our hands were made for each other. His hand was warm and strong. My fingers fit like a jig saw puzzle into his gaps, and his into mine.

I leaned into him, and he moved closer. My legs were curled up under me and his were spread out in front of him. We were cuddled with my head leaning against his chest, and his head leaning on mine. Our fingers intertwined with one another – closing the gap. There was no space between us. I watched the T.V as the previews for another movie appeared.

I felt him lean in a little and I saw his free hand grabbed a book from the coffee table. It was his third Midnight Saga book. My face flushed.

He looked at the nostalgic cover with the assistance of the obscure T.V lighting.

"I was rereading it." I said.

"Heh. It does look worn down."

"For the fifth time."

"Oh. Like it?" He looked down at me.

"Loved it." He placed it on his lap and flipped the pages. "It's like a rainbow inside."

_Stupid T.V lighting. _

"Well its color coordinated."

"Mmm hmmm."

"I was trying to figure you out."

"What was blue mean?"

"Light blue?"

"Maybe."

"Hope."

"Pink?"

"Love."

"Orange?"

"Fear."

"I see." He placed the book down gently on the coffee counter and readjusted himself to make sure I was comfortable laying half way on top of him. He slouched down another level till his stomach acted like a pillow for me.

His stomach was rock hard, even though he wasn't flexing. I tried to imagine him and Emmett at the gym. I wondered how often he worked out and if he was obsessed with it. I could only imagine what he looked like under those clothes…

The monologue of the movie started and we both became absorbed in it. I'd giggle or sniffle or gasp in certain scenes and I'd feel Edward gently squeeze my hand. I got into movies too deeply sometimes. But when we watched the movie together, I did not disappear from reality. I always knew I was with Edward. I could smell him. I could feel him. I didn't want to leave reality. Reality at that moment was flawless.

_I need him. _

Throughout the movie, all I could think about was him and me.

_What would tomorrow be like? _

_When would we have our first kiss?_

_Did he want kids? _

_What was his favorite color? _

_What time did he wake up? _

When Natalie Portman was "captured" and being tortured for information, I lifted my head up to look at him. With the help of the changing light of the T.V, His face shadowed the different colors projected from the screen.

He was already looking at me. I couldn't tell if he had been for a while or if it was because of my shifting weight when I moved.

"Can I kiss you?" I asked.

His eyes widened in surprise and my cheeks flared with embarrassment.

_I didn't mean to ask. _

_I didn't mean to say that. _

_But I had to. _

_It was like asking if I could breathe. _

"On one condition." He whispered leaning in closer to me.

He waited for me to ask the condition.

I did.

I lifted myself up slightly, nearly closing the distance between our faces. Our lips were inches away from touching. "If I may kiss you back." He whispered.

I broke the void before he could finish the last word. I pressed my lips hard against his thick, smooth, luscious lips. The tingle I had when I was around him intensified. My chest tightened and my stomach clenched. I felt pins and needles spread throughout my body as our hands broke their connection to travel to the others body; to grope each other. I lifted myself up onto his lap and held his face between my hands as we kissed a little gentler.

Soft sweet baby kisses.

One of his hands held me at my hips and the other at the small of my back; massaging me.

_I want to lick the inside of his mouth. _

_To taste him all over. _

_I want to kiss him forever. _

"You're delicious." He whispered between our kisses and that one statement gave me the courage I needed.

My tongue darted into his mouth and danced with his. Our kiss became wet and needy. The passion and lust deepened as he gently landed on the couch horizontally with me on top of him.

I had never kissed anyone the way I kissed him.

He held me tighter as our tongues explored one another. He rubbed my back from my shoulder blades to the top of my buttocks. I leaned down closer to his body. I felt as though I had to get as close as I could to him. The closer I got, the more complete I felt.

I was nearly laying completely on top him when a loud noise came from the T.V and surprised me. I jumped slightly and gave a frightened squeal. His arms were wrapped around me and he held me tightly.

_He keeps me safe. _

_My protector. _

_My knight in shining armor. _

_My prince charming. _

"Shhh. My kitten. It's okay." He chuckled.

I giggled; grateful that my little scene didn't cause either of us to lose our tongues. I leaned my face back towards him and kissed his lips as though they were delicate jewels that would break from too much contact. He returned the kiss just as gently and tenderly.

I rested my head on his chest, listening to his heart. It beat to the most enchanting tune I'd ever heard.

His arms still held me tightly pressed up against his body. I turned my head a little, and we watched the rest of the movie with me laying ontop of him. He never complained or switched positions.

_He could probably bench me…whatever that means. _

We both stayed unmoving till the end, and I listened to his heart more than to the movie dialogue. When the credits rolled, I broke our silence.

"What's your favorite book?" I asked.

"The book you'll eventually publish." He sounded so serious that I almost believed him.

I shifted my weight slightly so my chin was on his chest and my chest was on his stomach. He bent his head slightly so he could see me.

He looked at me.

I looked at him.

"What's your favorite?" he asked me.

"Ummm, a few. 1984, Midnight, and To the Lighthouse."

"Woolf, eh?" He cocked his eyebrow.

"The way she brings life to her characters is just amazing. She was so controversial and daring. The way she could key into complex human emotions and the human psyche. And to read it! You really get into the characters heads, and what they think…I mean the fragments and the jumping. The disillusion and confusion!" I was getting too excited.

"That's the book where the son wanted to kill his father?" Edward asked.

"Only in the first page." I clarified.

"Oh, in that case…" Edward teased me and we both laughed tenderly.

"She gets psychoanalyzed as a crazy person instead of an artist sadly." Edward sounded genuinely regretful.

"She killed herself. All geniuses seem to go down that road."

"I won't let you do that, by the way."

_He thinks I'm a genius. _

I mentally laughed and then teased him.

"You know, I'm very accident prone." I said elongating the word 'very'.

"I've heard."

"You'll have to keep a close watch."

"I plan to."

"My bad luck doesn't go away."

"I'll stay forever."

He looked at me.

I looked at him.

He smiled.

I smiled.

"What was the last book you read?" I asked.

I firmly believed that a person's literary history told about their innermost secret fantasies. Not sexual fantasies. But warped reality fantasies. The kind of world they would want to live in, if reality was not reality.

"Ender's game."

"Oh? That's futuristic sci-fi isn't it? I didn't know you liked that."

"It's very good. Card's novellas are meant to be read out loud though. That's where they shine the most."

"Will you read them to me?" I asked.

"All you have to do is ask."

I giggled.

He stared at me.

I stared at him.

We smiled.

"All you have to do is ask…for me too. I mean, I want to make you happy too." The words did not come out as smoothly as I wanted to. But I wasn't thinking while I was talking to him.

"You being mine, has made me the happiest man alive."

"And you're mine." Those words filled me with excitement.

"Always." He said.

And we leaned into each other for another kiss.

* * *

What will happen next!?

I hope you're enjoying the development of B&E relationship. I have been swamped with work this week, and only got a chance to type this up this morning.

Let me know what you guys think! :D


	20. Beauty and the Beast

I woke up on top of the warmest, safest body.

I woke up to feel the softest arms wrapped around me.

I woke up in a rendition of heaven.

A smile spread across my face as I lifted my head from Edward's naked stomach and placed my chin on his soloplex. It wasn't a dream. I was really laying on top of Edward. We had really fallen asleep cuddling one another at who knows what hour of the night.

Life was perfect.

_This is nirvana. _

He was still asleep.

_So beautiful. _

His head was cocked to the side up against the arm of my leather couch. He had a five o'clock shadow forming which made him look scruffier and dangerous. I wanted to run my fingers down the side of his face and feel the prickles on my fingers. My eyes trailed towards his beautiful lips that were silently begging to be kissed again. I looked down and noticed he wasn't wearing his shirt.

_Did we?! _

I jolted up in panic and Edward's eyes shot open immediately from my clumsy movement. His grip on me tightened.

I felt something slid of my shoulders and I looked over and noticed that it was shirt sliding off me.

He used his shirt as a blanket for me…

"Hey kitten, you okay?" Edward spoke in a horse and raspy voice.

I looked back down at him and smiled.

"You're adorable when you sleep." I whispered leaning my body back down on his.

"Mmm, you're the most beautiful creature I have ever laid my eyes on." He lifted his head towards mine and placed a kiss on my lips.

I raised my left hand to his face; he raised his eyebrow, confused at my gesture. "Can I touch?" I asked hesitantly.

"You can do anything you want to me."

"Oh." I placed my fingertips up against his growing stubble and trailed my fingers from the tip of his jaw line to his chin. "Anything?" I asked slyly.

"Anything." He replied as I put my index finger on his bottom lip.

It was so soft.

_So warm. _

_So incomplete without my lips. _

I retracted my index finger and leaned in to kiss his lips again softly. "I love kissing you." He whispered before our mouths opened for exploration.

He tasted so good, I felt myself become needier as rubbed my body up against his and positioned myself to straddle him around his waist tightly. I couldn't get enough of him, my hands traveled all over his body; touching, groping, feeling. It was too much. Everything felt too perfect.

"S' ayapo." He grunted as his tongue darted into my mouth. I didn't know what that meant but it turned me on beyond my wildest imagination. Every part of my body tingled and lusted after him. I squeezed my legs tighter against him and pushed myself on top of him roughly.

I felt an uncontrollable hunger burn within me. I wanted him. I needed him.

_I want his hands on my ass. _

_I want him to grope me with need. _

_I want him to kiss down to my neck _

_Kiss down towards…_

_Down down…please. _

He wasn't doing any of that. His hands were tightly wrapped around my waist but he wasn't groping or feeling me up like I was doing to him.

I was being a beast.

And he was being a beauty.

I felt disgusted with myself. I couldn't control my lustful needs around him. I broke the kiss quickly when my mind caught up with my movements. We both gasped for air, our chests heaved up and down with the same rhythm. He opened his eyes slowly and looked into mine.

_Oh, how I love his sunset forest eyes. _

_His beautiful eyes. _

_So deep. _

_So mysterious. _

_So so so…._

"I need to shower." I spoke quickly, forming the words into one.

He smirked and cocked his head to the side. His lips teased me, begging to be kissed again.

_Does he know? _

Did he know what he does to me? Did he know that I felt as though I wanted him more than I should? Did he know that I couldn't control myself in his presence and was becoming a ravishing horny teenager?

He was so composed. So secure. So confident.

And I wanted him.

XXX porno wanted him.

"Don't trip." He whispered as he leaned in to kiss me softly on the lips.

It took all my energy not to attack his mouth and violate every part of his body. I rolled my eyes at him, trying not to show my disappointment of his self control.

His grip of me loosened and I slowly moved away from him. That's when I realized how unobservant I was. I felt the hard bulge in his pants. I felt his lust for me as I rubbed up against him when I was lifting myself off him. I felt his need for me.

He wanted me.

He was only being a gentleman.

I giggled and I heard him chuckle as he tried to cover it up by clearing his throat when he realized I noticed.

_I want to ask him to join me in the shower. _

_I want to do it in the shower. _

_I want to fuck his brains out. _

_I want to hear him moan my name. _

Instead, "I'll be quick." Came out of my mouth and I ignored it when his ruby red shirt fell to the floor. I rushed towards the bathroom without giving him another look. I wouldn't be able to handle it. Seeing him on my couch, half naked, with his head leaning on his shoulder and the inviting lazy smile plastered on his face….I wouldn't be able to resist him.

And I was not going to be the first person to give in.

_No way. _

I let out a dreamy sigh as I walked into my bathroom. I wished he would have followed. I wish he would have put his strong arms on my waist and kissed me. I wished he would have helped me undress…I wish…

_Stop stop stop!! _

I tried to push the erotic images from my mind as I stripped down till nothing remained on my body but the goosebumps and excitement he caused me. I stared at myself in the mirror.

_I need to start going to the gym. _

_Or take more walks. _

_Maybe I could start lifting weights. _

I couldn't believe what I was thinking. The gym was not for me. Walking was dangerous. And I couldn't imagine the injuries I would sustain from lifting weights.

_He likes me the way I am. _

I repeated to myself over and over as I started the shower and got in right away – I ignored the fact that it was cold. I wanted to be done with my shower as soon as possible and get back to Edward.

He was in my living room and I didn't want to keep him waiting.

I imagined myself walking into the living room with my towel wrapped loosely around my body while my hair dripped water down my already dripping body.

_Would he be able to hold back then? _

_Stop stop stop! _

I squirted my strawberry shampoo into the palm of my hand. I needed to compose myself, not intensify the lust I felt for my…_my….my boyfriend!_

_I have a boyfriend!_

_Edward is my boyfriend!_

_Mine. _

_All mine. _

A huge smile crept onto my face. I couldn't resist from letting out a little happy squeal.

I never knew how badly I needed him till I had him. I never realized how incomplete I felt without him. I never realized what a sad, pathetic life I lived before he became a part of it. It was as if I was living only half my life all those years, but now I was full.

I was whole.

I was complete.

When I finished washing myself up; making sure I smelled beyond enticing, I wrapped a Pixie stamped orange towel tightly around my body.

I carefully walked out of my bathroom and took a step towards my room but then stopped. I sniffed the changing air.

_Eggs? _

_Bacon? _

I turned around and walked towards my living room and I saw Edward in the kitchen scrambling eggs in a salad bowl. To my dismay, he put on his shirt again, which I preferred that he wouldn't have, but at least he didn't tuck it into his trousers. I wished I had a camera to capture that moment in print.

Edward noticed me from the corner of his eyes and turned to look at me. His shirt wasn't buttoned and I enjoyed my view of his bare beautiful chest. I saw him clench his jaw tightly as a he gave me a lustful smile.

_He wants me. _

I grinned.

"Making me breakfast?" I teased leaning against the wall and stuck my hip out to make my body look curvaceous.

"Mmm hmmm. Breakfast is the best way to start off the day." He said.

_Waking up next to you is the best way to start off my day. _

I smiled. "It smells yummy."

"So do you. So do you." He said taking a deep breath.

I was torturing him.

Who would give in first?

He had started the game by not giving in.

If he was going to be a gentleman, then I'd be a lady.

"I'll go get ready." I said turning around while swaying my hips side to side, deliberately allowing the back of my towel to slide down to reveal the small of my back to him.

_A teasing lady. _

I walked into my room and closed the door behind me, trying hard to suppress an escaping giggle. I unraveled the loosened towel and tossed it into the hamper. Cautiously I walked towards my closet.

I looked for something short, but longer than too short.

I looked for something innocent, but flirty.

I looked for something tight, but something that also left room for the imagination.

It didn't take long for me to find what I needed. Blue knitted thigh-high tights, with a knee-length khaki skirt to match, and a dark blue low cut blouse that hugged me just right. I grabbed my brush and began to tame my hair as I checked myself out in the mirror.

I still managed to look like me; just sexy, scandalous, and up to no good.

I grinned at my reflection and did a clumsy twirl.

Not model perfect, but as good as I was going to get at that moment.

_Good to go. _

I walked out of my room and down the small hallway towards where my boyfriend was cooking the bacon. I bit my lip and I tried to be as silent as possible as I approached him.

He didn't notice me till I wrapped my arms around him from behind, pressing my breasts up against his back and resting my head on between his shoulder blades. He froze in position as my hands gently caressed his chest. He had buttoned up his shirt while I changed.

He smelled so good.

_Still like vanilla and cinnamon. _

I took a deep breath inhaling his scent gluttonously.

"You smell so good." He whispered.

"You smell better." I whispered back and he turned around slowly. I kept my arms loosely around him. I didn't want to let him go.

I looked up at him, into his eyes.

He looked down at me, into my eyes.

I went on my tippy toes.

He bent his neck down.

Our lips connected tenderly. I could not get enough of his kisses.

He could give me a thousand kisses and I'd still need another.

He let out a soft grunt into my mouth as I leaned my body into his. He broke the kiss first and too quickly for my liking.

"Breakfast is going to get cold." He whispered.

_Such a fucking gentleman. _

I smiled in return and let him go unwillingly. "What's for breakfast?" I asked trying to sound seductive.

"Scrambled eggs, bacon, and a microwave heated chicken parmesan." He said turning his attention back on the pan.

I walked over the counter and watched him finish preparing our breakfast.

I tried to keep my mind out of the gutter, but the way he moved was just begging me to jump on him and wrap my legs around his strong waist and my arms around his neck…and kiss him hard while ripping his shirt off and….and.

I tried to force myself to look away. To look at the flowers he bought me, but my eyes refused to appreciate their beauty – they longed for Edward.

He placed two full plates onto the counter. "Where are the forks?" He asked, his eyes meeting mine.

He looked at me.

I looked at him.

Time seemed to stand still for that moment.

"Bottom right hand drawer." I said turning the present into the past. He looked away and opened the instructed drawer and got out two forks. He handed me one, and took the seat opposite from me. We began to eat.

"This is delicious." I commented after I finished my first bite.

_He could cook. _

_He could write. _

_He loved to read. _

_He was a gentleman. _

_He was handsome. _

_He was mine. _

"I'm glad it is to your liking princess." He teased me and gave me his unique half smirk.

I smiled back at him.

"So what's on the agenda today my prince?" I asked, feeling incredibly silly.

"If you don't have anything in mind; I was wondering if you'd want to see where I live."

"That sounds great." I felt so comfortable around him and I was curious to see how he lived. I heard you could tell a lot about a man from his furniture. I just had no idea what furniture meant what.

I took another bite.

"Where do you live?" I asked.

"By Lake Goria." He said after he finished chewing.

"Isn't that near Wade Road?" I asked.

"Yea, it's just a mile away."

"Alice lives there." I commented.

"So does Emmett." He said.

_Am I the only one who lives in a rundown apartment two and a half blocks away from campus? _

Then I suddenly felt ashamed of my apartment. The houses where Alice lived were beautiful, timeless, and looked like mansions. They were for the elite. Nearly 30 and I was living like a broke college student.

Then I realized something else that was more important than my petty living conditions – my actual living. I was deathly afraid of riding motorcycles. I was bad luck, and the accidents a motorcycle was able to get into were deadly.

"Will we be taking your bike?" I asked fearfully.

"Oh, no. I left that in the garage. I brought one of my cars."

_One of your cars? _

"How many cars do you have?" I asked.

"Only two."

_Two cars, a motorcycle, and a mansion. _

"If you don't like it, we can get another one." He added.

_We? _

_We! _

I felt better.

"No no! Not because of me, you won't." I said taking a bite out of the bacon suppressing my cheerleader like excitement at his "we" comment.

_Crisp. _

_Just right. _

He smirked at me as he watched me chew. I wish I could have read his mind. I wish I could have known what he was thinking.

All I could do was hope that his mind was being as dirty as mine was.

"Why did you become a teacher?" He asked.

"Oh, because in my high school none of the English classes went how I wished they would. I mean. We read books and wrote reports. And the teacher never asked our opinion or let us have discussions about the books. It was boring, but, like, I still enjoyed reading. And when I got to college things got better and I loved the atmosphere of learning here. So I realized that it was what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I wanted to hear other people's interpretations of the books without making them feel as though there's only one way to look at things."

"Do you normally just teach Novel and Creative Writing?" He asked.

"Oh no. That's just this semester. Well actually, I always teach Creative Writing. But last year I taught 18th century literature and Victorian Poetry. It all depends on what's available."

"What was high school like for you?" He asked.

And from there we went on talking for hours. He asked about my life, I asked about his life and our conversation never had a single pause until my stomach gave an unappealing grumbled. I flushed with embarrassment.

"So what would you like me to make you for lunch?" Edward asked leaning in closer to me.

I wanted throw all the dishes off the table, and crawl onto the table towards him…

"Just heat up the parmesan please." I said shyly but then tried to get my confidence back by adding, "I want all your attention on me."

He smirked and grabbed the plates between us and placed them in the sink. He went to grab two clean plates from one of the top cabinets.

He already knew my kitchen.

He belonged here.

_It's our kitchen now. _

"What's your favorite thing about Forks?" I asked.

"My girlfriend." He said placing our meal on the plates and putting one in the microwave.

It sounded so sweet escaping from his lips.

I wanted him to say it over and over again.

I wanted him to introduce me to everyone as his girlfriend.

"What's your favorite thing in Forks besides your girlfriend?" I corrected smugly.

"I actually enjoy the weather." He said as the microwave beeped and he exchanged the plates. "I love Greece, but the summers were just torture. It would reach 110 degrees with humidity at dangerous levels. There were days when people were advised not to even go outside. Here, it's nice and wet. Always moist."

I thought that was the dirtiest thing he had ever said. I was being a lecherous pervert.

I nodded trying to keep my face composed. "What's Greece like?" I asked.

"Well, it's very beautiful. I mean there's just so much to Greece, it all depends on where you live. I lived in Athens mostly but I did travel to other towns and cities. Everything is just so amazing there and –" He cut himself off.

He seemed to consider something and then gave a momentary smirked.

"What?" I asked.

"Teachers get summer vacation don't they?" He asked.

I nodded.

The microwave beeped. He took out the second plate and walked back towards the counter. He placed them between us.

"Then I'll take you to Greece this summer."

"What?" I was utterly shocked he said that but then shock turned to happiness.

I was thrilled about him wanting to take me to Greece, but not because I wanted to visit the country but because he still saw us together in 6 months.

We had a future.

"Oh please, don't give me that face, kitten." He said misunderstanding my expression. "It won't be expensive or anything. I have a house there."

"No, it's not that." I said softly and looked into his eyes. "It's…just you said in the summer."

He nodded.

"And well, it makes me happy that you plan for a future with me." I said.

"I plan for forever with you." He said and my heart skipped a beat and then accelerated to an inhuman pace.

I couldn't help but widen the smile on my face. I felt as though I was the luckiest girl in the world. "What other countries did you like?" I asked him, sitting at the edge of my seat, trying to get closer to him.

_Why did he have to sit across from me? _

Edward told me stories about Australia, China, Italy, and France. I told him that Australia sounded fascinating and he said that we'd go there the summer after Greece.

"You're spoiling me." I teased.

"It's only the beginning." He said.

When we finally finished eating, he washed all the dishes as I told him about my relationship with Alice and bragged about her amazing fashion sense.

He seemed interested in every word that came out of my mouth, and always asked follow up questions to anything that I was being vague about.

"What about your dad?" He asked sitting back in front of the counter.

"He's dead." I said flatly but he didn't push that topic, instead he returned to Renee and continued asking me questions about her and her new husband, Phil.

It felt as I could tell him almost anything.

"Let's go?" Edward asked standing up and walking towards me, he grabbed my hand.

Our hands fit perfectly together. I would never be able to get that. We were two pieces of a puzzle that created one beautiful picture. We never had to adjust our hand, or fingers, or position. Everything we did – fit.

The touch of his skin sent the tingle into my chest and shivers down my spine. I thought I had myself under control, but I could already feel myself reaching the brink from only holding his hand.

I stood up off my seat and went on my tippy toes to kiss him. He wrapped his free arm around my waist and pressed me against him. I couldn't help but let a soft moan escape my lips. I wanted him so badly. I wanted to kiss every part of his body. I wanted to mark every inch of his skin as mine.

My passion for him intensified as our kiss deepened.

When the kiss broke, we just stared at one another with desire in our eyes.

"You have no idea what you do to me Bella." Edward said leaning down to plant a baby kiss on my lips.

"You drive me crazy Edward." I said kissing him back. "Do you…" I began.

He leaned away a bit, pressing his forehead against mine and rubbed the bottom of my back gently with his thumb. "Do I what my love?"

I cleared my throat. "Do you want me to spend the night?" I asked.

"If you want to." He replied simply and that frustrated me.

"Nu uh. Not going to work." I said with a childish pout. "I asked you if you wanted me to. I didn't ask you if I wanted to."

"I'd love for you to spend the night, and every night after that." He said.

His reply was perfect.

"Are you asking me to move in with you?" I asked.

"I don't plan to spend a day without you." He answered.

I took a step back, his hand still held mine but his other hand let go of my back. "I think then." I smirked. "I should pack my pajamas with me."

"And maybe some extra clothes." He said smirking back.

I took steps away from him when I felt his hand tug me back. He didn't let go of my hand and didn't follow me. I turned around to see him raising an eyebrow at me.

"What?" I asked.

"Can I see your room?" He asked.

_Such a gentleman!_

"Oh! Yes!" I said tugging him along towards my room.

He followed obediently and I led him into my pathetic excuse of a room.

"What do you think?" I asked turning around to look at him. It was probably the size of his closet.

He looked around; his eyes fell on every single object and then back at me. "I love it. But I do think that you need a bookcase or ten." He said glancing back down at my floors that were littered with stacks and stacks of books.

I rolled my eyes at him and led him towards my closet. I let go of his hand and went on my tippy toes to grab my duffle bag from the very top shelf. Edward noticed that I was too short to reach and leaned over me to help me. He grabbed it and I turned around so he could hand it to me. I thanked him with a kiss on his chin, and then another one on his lips, and a third on his nose. He enjoyed my thank you.

"I'll be quick." I said planting one more kiss on his lips and he kissed me back.

"Take your time kitten." He said as he walked towards my bed and sat on the edge of it watching me, his girlfriend.

I placed the duffle bag between my legs and began to fumble around trying to find appealing yet comfortable clothes.

First I reached for my pixie stamped silk pajamas that still had their tag and placed them in my bag. Then I put in some jeans and a few t shirts. And then I saw it…

"What do you think of this one?" I asked turning around to face him while holding up the silk blue dress that I refused to wear for the dinner we had together two weeks ago.

"I think that dress is going to make it very hard for me to be a gentleman around you." He replied clearing his throat and I smirked folding it into the duffle bag.

"Is this okay?" I asked lifting the bag up.

"For now." He said walking towards me and taking the bag from me.

"Oh wait!" I said taking the bag back and walked towards my dresser and opened the top drawer. Without looking I grabbed a handful of panties and bras and stuffed them inside trying to seem as inconspicuous as possible. I heard him trying to suppress his laughter. I bit my lip feeling immature and childish.

_I shouldn't have invited him in my room. _

I turned my blushing face back to him and he extended his hand out. I placed my hand into his, making sure to avoid his eyes, then his other hand stretched towards me and grabbed the bag from me.

"Lace. I like." He commented placing a gentle kiss on my cheek and we walked out of my room slowly. I tried my best not to trip over my own feet as my tingling sensation mixed with my nervous emotions.

* * *

Thank you so much for taking an interest in reading my story, and thank you for anyone who leaves a review. I appreciate it, and I am very thrilled that so many of you are enjoying this story. I hope I have not let you down.

Also, don't worry I have not forgotten about Emmett/Rosalie and Jasper/Alice.

Thank you once more for reading. :) I am very grateful!


	21. My Prince

I fumbled with my keys as I locked the door – missing the hole at least four times, and Edward didn't even chuckle at me as I made a fool of myself. My cheeks were still flushed red from my embarrassing underwear scene. I mentally asked myself questions.

_Yes I want him. _

_Yes I need him. _

_Yes I want to do naughty things to him. _

While feeling all this, I felt, at the same time, embarrassed beyond comprehension. Having sex with him would mean he'd see me naked…and having sex with him so soon was…sluty?

_But I want him. _

_And he planned for us to last forever. _

_Forever…_

I put the keys into my jacket and looked at him as he waited patiently for me to finish molesting the door. He smiled a crooked smile that made my heart accelerate till the pounding echoed in my head. "Ready?" He asked in his velvety sultry voice that made every ounce of my being long for him.

I realized that I wasn't ready.

I wasn't ready to have sex with him…but I wanted to.

I wasn't ready to semi-move in with him….but I wanted to.

I wasn't ready to commit my whole soul to him…but I wanted to.

"Bella?" He asked extending his hand to me.

_I want you. _

I took his hand without hesitation and we walked down the stairs together. I leaned closer to him and he positioned his body to fit with mine so naturally, it was if we'd walked together all our lives.

He opened the door for me and cleared his throat as I walked through.

I stopped.

"Bella?" He asked again and I spun around to face him. I grabbed his face with my hands and pulled him down to me, placing my lips against his and kissed him as though it was the last kiss I would ever have.

He returned the passion of my kiss and even groaned into my mouth when my tongue met his.

_I am ready. _

I broke the kiss with a wicked smirk plastered on my face, and he stared at me bewildered but obviously filled with enjoyment.

"I'm ready." I said simply.

He straightened out his body and made a smirk to match mine, "well then kitten, let's go."

I grabbed his hand and we walked across the streets. I kept my eyes peeled to his face.

_Such a beautiful face. _

I should have been watching where my feet were moving, but I knew that no matter what; he would catch me if I fell.

I just could not stop staring at him, and he would glance down at me and in the moment our eyes met I wanted to jump on top of him and kiss him till my lips became sore.

He squeezed my hand and I couldn't resist smiling at him.

Suddenly he let go of my hand, turned me around and pushed me up against something curvaceous and small. My back arched backwards as I leaned against it and his body pressed firmly onto mine. His lips attacked mine and his hands gripped my ass tightly.

I tried to push back onto him, but I couldn't move him and there was absolutely no open space between us. Our kiss was ragging with so much lust and passion that I stopped trying to get control over the situation and just enjoyed myself.

I tried to gasp a breath but failed – kissing him was more important than breathing.

_I'll breathe later._

_Much later. _

_I'd stop breathing just so I could kiss him longer. _

My hands ran up from his hips, under his shirt, feeling every curving muscle in his abdomen and trailed up towards his strong chest.

My mind was moments away from agreeing or insisting on public sex, but then he broke the kiss and we both gasped for air, our chest heaving up and down together in the same pattern.

"That…was hot." I muttered.

_What a dumb reply. _

He grinned and pressed his lips up against mine once more, softly and gently and slowly moved his face away from me again.

"I love you." He said and loosened his grip on my butt.

_No no no! Keep grabbing me! _

_Kiss me again!_

_Again! _

My face must have been demanding what my thoughts were pleading because he said, "Let's get into the car before we do something that will get us a ticket for public indecency."

I gave a playful sigh and he stepped back allowing me to be able to lean off whatever I was leaning on. I looked over my shoulder to see a gorgeous sleek black car – the kind you see in Hollywood racer movies. My jaw nearly dropped as I couldn't even take in every detail of its exterior.

_Who the hell owns a car like this IN Forks? _

I shouldn't have been surprised when he leaned over and opened the passenger's door for me. I should have known it would be him.

"Wow." I mouthed.

"You like?" He asked as he motioned me to get inside.

I didn't know how to respond, so I only nodded in approval. Hesitantly I slid inside his car that reeked of newly polished leather.

I glided my hand gently on the leather covered door. It was so smooth and soft that if it weren't for the smell I would have thought it wasn't leather. I pulled the seatbelt over me and it clicked into position as I looked around at the car.

_This car could probably go from 0 to 60 in 2 seconds. _

After he put my bag into the trunk, he opened the door opposite me and sat inside gracefully.

He looked at me.

I looked at him.

We leaned in for another kiss. It was sweet but gentler than the last, although it was still filled with the desire we felt towards one another.

I could not get enough of him; I wanted to jump on his lap and kiss him and show him how much I actually did adore his body.

I let out a soft moan from the erotic images in my head and he stiffened slightly and broke the kiss. "Bella, Bella, Bella." He whispered under his breath as he moved away and put the keys into the ignition.

The car purred to life.

I leaned away from him and pressed my flaming cheeks against the cold window to try to relax but my eyes never left his face, therefore making relaxing nearly impossible.

"What do you think of speeding?" He asked carefully as he unparked and drove down my street.

"What do you consider speeding?" I asked.

"Over the speed limit?" He asked.

"How much over?"

"How much are you comfortable with?"

"How much do you normally do?"

He chuckled as he did a short pause at the stop sign. "You realize that whole conversation was only questions."

"And I didn't get any answered." I replied sheepishly.

"I asked first." He countered making a left.

"Umm, Jasper speeds a lot so I'm used to it."

"You don't drive?" He asked surprised.

"I get into accidents while standing still."

He laughed and nodded his head in agreement. "You've been very good so far."

"Mmm hmm, but I know you'll catch me if I fall."

"Of course I will." He said making an illegal U-Turn that I said nothing about.

"How fast do you normally drive?" I asked.

"Too fast." He said chuckling and I knew he was hiding something from me. "I want to drive as fast as you're comfortable with."

"No more than 10 over the speed limit, okay?"

His jaw clenched slightly.

_That was slow for him? _

"20?" I asked wanting to please him too.

"10 is fine Bella." He said turning on the radio by hitting a button the wheel. All the electric screens in front of his side of the car looked as though they belonged in an alien spaceship. Classical music blared from every corner of the car but he quickly fixed the volume.

"How fast do you drive?" I asked when he could hear me over the music.

"Let's just say in Europe, their left lane makes sense."

"Uh." I didn't know what to say. I didn't actually understand what he meant by that.

"In Germany there's a highway where there aren't any speed limits." He said getting on the highway.

"So you lived life in the fast lane?" I asked with a soft giggle.

"I hate going slow." He said looking at me with his special half grin.

"Eyes on the road!" I nearly shouted at him and he obeyed trying to suppress his laughter at my panic.

I looked at the window for a moment and watched the blurring environment around me. I tried to imagine what his house looked like.

_Will it be big and exotic? _

_Or small and homey? _

_What kind of furniture does it have? _

_Is he into wood or plastic? _

I turned my attention back to him and asked, "What is it like?"

"Mmm, what do you think it's like?" He asked cautiously.

"Big." I replied. Alice's house was huge, and had more rooms than a high school.

His lips tightened together and he was trying hard not to smile.

_Oh! He's thinking naughty! _

"And long." I continued fueling the innuendo and saw his hands clench on the wheel tighter. "And I think it will bring a lot of pleasure to me."

"Oh really?" His voice sounded seductive and it turned me on so badly that I had to shift my weight to feel comfortable.

"Mmm hmm. I think it will be perfect and I bet it will provide an adventure or two."

"Bella." I heard him his growl out my name and noticed he was going well over 30 miles over the speed limit.

"What?" I asked sweetly.

_Not my fault you're God's greatest creation. _

"You're going to be the death of me." He said trying to relax.

I smirked.

_That's what you GET for being such a gentleman. _

"I was only describing how much fun I think it will be and I'm really looking forward to seeing it." I said biting my lip.

He looked at me, probably noticing my flushed cheeks and inhaled deeply as he looked back at the road. "Bella."

"Yes?"

"I love you." He said cutting someone off on the road.

"You're being a very rude driver." I said.

"Well I'm sure they don't have an incredibly seductive, beautiful, amazing, angel in their car that is driving them out of their wits."

_I'm seductive? _

I let a huge smile spread across my face.

"How am I being seductive? I was only talking about your house." I said in such an innocent and naive voice that I almost believed myself.

"My house…Rrrrrrright." He said sarcastically and then his facial expression changed suddenly and he corrected himself, "our house."

_Our house… _

"Our house." I repeated, testing it out.

_Would we split the bills? _

_Will we sleep in the same bed? _

_Does he expect me to cook and clean? _

My mind began to race and at the moment right before the panic set in, his right hand reached over to my armrest and our fingers intertwined. His touch calmed me down and brought back the tingle in my chest with a revived passion.

_It's going to be okay. _

I smiled at him, and he turned to give me a smile back.

"Eyes on the road!" I squeaked and he rolled his eyes and positioned his gaze back to the highway.

He got off the next exit, and I recognized the neighborhood – Alice lived nearby. I shifted in my seat and started to feel uncomfortable. His house was going to be a million times better than my tiny apartment.

"What do you really think of my apartment?" I asked him nervously.

"Oh? I like it, it's a bit small but I think it fits you perfectly."

"I like you in it." I said softly hoping he didn't hear – but then he gave my hand a squeeze to reassure me.

"Here we are." He said making a left and driving up a hill.

"Where?" I looked around trying to find a house but all I saw was a one-lane paved road and a multi-colored garden on both sides with ancient trees loaming overhead.

"Just up ahead."

"Oh my god. This is your drive way?"

He nodded and I tried to keep my jaw from falling off.

_And I thought Alice owned the most luxurious house in Forks. _

When the house came into view, I thought we had just traveled back a hundred years.

The mansion looked like a cross between the Victorian, Medieval, and Gothic eras of architecture.

"Is there a horse and carriage?" I muttered as I stared wide eyed into the large stone bricked, 3 story, house that might have once upon a time belonged to a princess.

I heard him chuckle.

"Is that a chimney?" I asked pointing to the peeking tower.

"Yeap, there's another behind it. And over there." He pointed all the way to the right; I shifted in my seat and leaned over; trying to get a better view.

"Oh my god, is that a tower?" I asked in disbelief.

"Hah, yes. It's actually really neat."

"Wow." I whispered.

His house was like – Our house was like a castle pulled out from the past and restored. It was so amazing I could not even put it into words.

I leaned back into my chair as Edward pulled up to the front of the house.

"Is Alfred going to open the door?" I asked, only half kidding.

"No, but batman might stop by later." He teased me as he parked the car in front of the large stone steps leading to the huge wooden doors that seemed to be missing a drawbridge.

Edward got out of the car and I began to fumble with my seat belt, he was already holding my door open when I escaped the contraption.

I looked around.

The garden was perfect. All the trees were trimmed and no leaf was out of place. There were purple, pink, blue, or orange colored flowers decorated all around the front of the house in a pattern I didn't recognize right away. Ivy grew along the corners of the house that gave it a timeless quality.

Edward let me stand and ogle his house while he went to grab my duffle bag from the trunk of his car.

_Our car? _

I turned to see him coming towards me with his hand extended for me.

"This is amazing." I said as a fog of my words appeared in front of me.

"Come on, let's get inside – I don't want you to catch a cold." He said placing a kiss on my forehead.

I took one last look at it; the huge multi-shaded gray stones, and the tall thin glass windows and…the tower.

_Our house has a fucking tower. _

"I was right about it." I whispered as I climbed the cement steps with Edward.

"Mmm, what was that?" Edward asked.

"Your house, it's big and long." I said stupidly.

"Our house." He said smirking as he got out his keys from his pocket.

"It looks like there should be a huge key hole, for a key like the size of my forearm. And there should be unicorns and pumpkin carriage and a fairy god mother and a witch…and a dragon…and and and."

"Werewolves and vampires too?" He replied joining my childish delusions.

"Frankenstein can join too!" I said smiling as he opened the door. It didn't even squeak as he pushed it to reveal the open space round hallway.

I looked down; the floors were marble textiles of checkered black and white motif. My eyes traveled around towards the windows. Each had deep blue curtains, held to the side by golden ropes tied into a bow.

There was a single black grand piano all the way in the corner with a piano seat facing it. I thought it was a perfect prop.

I raised my eyes and was surprised to see the ceiling being incredibly long and far away. It was as if the ceiling reached the roof – and I wouldn't have been surprised if that were the case.

There was a beautiful glass chandelier with diamonds streaming down its empty candle holders.

"That's so beautiful." I whispered staring at the priceless chandelier.

"You look so amazing standing here." Edward whispered back pressing my back against his chest with his arm dangling across my shoulder.

"This is…" I lost the words again.

"Come on Bella. Let me give you a tour." He said squeezing my hand and tugging me along.

I tried to absorb everything he showed me; but that was impossible. The furniture all looked like they belonged in museums and I was too scared to even ask about the breathtaking paintings that hung on every wall.

_The Mona Lisa would look comfortable here… _

I loved the limestone fireplace, and adored the dining room with the rosemary wooden long table.

"Everything is so clean." I whispered, since anytime I raised my voice it would echo back three times.

"I just hired a maid to help with keeping the place clean. I didn't think you'd find cobwebs and spiders appealing."

"Can I see the tower?" I asked running my fingers along the edge of a picture frame.

I half expected some alarm to go off from me touching it.

"You can see anything you want." Edward said and once I was done harassing the picture frame he pulled me along through what he referred to as the second kitchen, the medium sized family room, and the second dining room.

"How many rooms are there?" I asked stopping to examine a candle holder on a stone counter.

"Uh, I think 32." Edward answered unsure. "I remember the lady saying there are 11 bathrooms."

"Jacuzzi?" I asked half joking.

"Maybe. I think. Somewhere. If not I'll have one installed."

"You are completely out of your mind." I said putting my finger on his chest.

"Shut up and kiss me." He said leaning his head towards mine.

I was shocked at what he said, but the way he said it was filled with light hearted teasing and a dash of lust. Even more so, his commanding tone had turned me on so it didn't matter.

He meant the kiss to be soft and gentle, but I couldn't allow that. I pushed myself onto him, pressing my chest onto his upper abdomen and stood on my tippy toes as I deepened our kiss. His arms wrapped around my waist and he tried to push me even closer to him. I was moments away from turning our innocent kiss into a naughty make out session when he broke it.

I lowered myself back on my feet and I stared at him with a pouty lip. He stared back at me with such lust and desire that I thought he was going to push me up against the wall, lift me onto him and take me then.

_God yes…_

_Do it…._

"The tower?" He said clearing his throat and taking my hand back into his.

_And then the bedroom…_

I nodded as he opened another wooden door and he led me through a thin and long corridor. The floor changed from marble to the same stone that the outside of the house was made of. The temperature dropped as we continued down the hall and my breathing turned into a fog around me.

I shivered and Edward pulled me closer to him. "Careful up the stairs" he said stopping at what looked like a dead end. He pointed to my left and I turned around, noticing the uneven, large, steep, staircase.

"Wow. I feel like I'm in a movie."

"Heh, I'll get you the renaissance dress and we'll film you climbing this tower."

"Oh can I be Elizabeth's mother?" I asked as I cautiously took a first step onto the stairs.

"The lady with 11 fingers?" Edward asked knowing what I was referring to.

_His mind is so on track with mine. _

"Yea, she was locked up in the tower before being beheaded." I said happily and my voice echoed five times back to me.

I hesitated for a moment and Edward put his arms on my waist. "Don't be scared."

"Catch me if I fall?" I asked carefully taking another step.

"Of course."

"This thing needs a hand railing." I mumbled after nearly tripping on the next step – but Edward kept his promise and held his hands tightly around my waist to help me keep my balance. "It's dark." I said as the staircase began to twirl and I could no longer see the steps. There were no windows and no lights or candles…or torch.

"I'm sorry Bella. There's still a lot of the house that needs restoration. I'll install lights and a handrail here as soon as possible."

_Do I have the most perfect boyfriend or what? _

"No no no! No apolo –ahh." I missed the next step and my other leg slipped from its position and my body flew forward. Edward's hands instinctively moved towards my stomach to keep me from falling and helped my feet find their footing.

_Damn strong. _

"Shhhh kitten. It's okay." He said as I straightened up again. "We don't have to do this right now."

"I want to!" I said stubbornly and tried to ignore the newly formed fear of tumbling down the stairs.

I heard him chuckle into my neck and it sent goosebumps all over my body. He placed a tiny kiss on the curve of my neck and whisper, "are you positive?"

_No, I'd rather see your bedroom and your birthday suit. _

"Yes." I said taking another step with my hands placed up against the stone walls.

_I can do this. _

_I can do this. _

_I can do this. _

"Take your time." Edward whispered as I tried to climb fast since I didn't want to aggravate him with my snail like movements.

"I love this by the way." I whispered back. "This is like surreal exploring. Like walking around in Egyptian tunnels."

"And you're the princess."

"And you're the prince."

Finally, we eventually reached a closed, shabby looking wooden door that would have probably given me a splinter from just staring at it for too long.

Edward carefully leaned forward and his hand lifted a black metallic lock that I didn't notice right away. The door opened with the echoing noise of fingernails on a chalk board.

The room blasted sunlight at us and I squinted my eyes to try to adjust to the light difference as I stepped in with Edward following right behind me.

It was freezing in this room, and I pulled Edward closer to me and wrapped his arms around me to keep me warm. "It's cold." I whispered, justifying my actions.

He kissed the top of my head as he squeezed me closer to him till our bodies touched. I moved my head side to side examining the single round room. There were two windows, directly opposite of each other, made of foggy dirty glass. The floor matched the walls and ceiling in the sense that it was the same stones, but the floor stones looked as though they were smashed together to fit. I looked up at the ceiling that was shaped into a cone with no light fixture hanging from it.

"This place looks so bland." I whispered.

"What did you expect?"

"I don't know. A dead body or two. Or maybe Rapunzel's corpse."

"Cute." He said giving me another kiss. "Let's head back?"

"Yeap, you can show me the bedroom." I said leading him back towards the stairs.

"How do you feel with piggyback rides?" Edward asked seriously.

"Umm." I responded.

"Get on my back."

"What?"

"Get on my back." Edward said turning around and bending over slightly.

I smacked his butt and my laughs traveled all around the room, "Get on Bella." He said rolling his eyes at me.

I obeyed.

I held onto his neck tightly and my legs wrapped around his waist. He went towards the exit and when he closed the door, it soon became evident why he asked me to climb on his back.

I couldn't see a thing.

If I would have tripped, I would have fallen and been nearly impossible to save.

I nuzzled my head into his neck.

_My prince charming. _

I closed my eyes and listened to his careful, graceful, echoing footsteps.

Finally – the light at the end of the tunnel, or in our case the light at the end of the spiral staircase – we arrived back into the corridor. He bent over and gently placed me back on my feet.

"Thank you." I said grabbing his hand and holding it tightly.

"You're welcome." He said leaning in to give me a kiss. "You do realize that means we're going to have to add Egyptian tomb exploration and German castle exhibits to our itinerary if you enjoyed that." He spoke casually as we walked back.

_Just show me your bedroom… _

"Let's start slow. Show me some rooms, you know – like your room." I said trying to be coy.

He smirked smugly and led me back into the round corridor where we entered. "The staircase is over here." He said pointing me to the other wing of the house. "These are marble and sturdy, there's another staircase in the back but I don't want you using it. It needs some more fixing."

We walked up the white marble stairs that were carpeted by a soft blue fabric and had a hand railing that I gladly held onto. When we reached the top, the walls became bone white and the marble floors were so clean they reflected our bodies as we walked on them.

"Wow." I whispered as he led me down the west hallway. My vocabulary seemed to be very limited when I was responding to his house.

"These few rooms are still under construction." He pointed to his right. "That room has a few paintings that I wanted to hang up, and some old furniture that needs to be restored." He continued; "That room is pretty bare, and this one has some books that I wasn't sure belonged in the library room."

"Library room?" I asked.

"It's in the other wing."

"Esme would love this place." I said.

"She's the one who actually recommended me this house." He said leading me past the large wooden doors with cursive imprinted motifs.

"Figures." I whispered.

"Carlisle and Esme are finishing up a house similar to this a few miles away." He said stopping at the very last door in the hallway.

"Does everyone live in this area?" I grumbled staring at him.

"Now everyone does." He smirked giving me a soft kiss on the lips. "Welcome to our room." He said opening the dark wooden door. It opened without a sound; he probably kept the hinges oiled. We stepped in – my eyes had never been wider.

There was a large, large, very very large bed in the middle of the room. It was covered with Persian silk pillows and a huge blanket. There were four bed posts surrounding it, and there were curtains tied to each post. It was the kind of bed you'd only see in renaissance movies.

I imagined tying him up to those bed posts and had to quickly move my gaze from his bed before I made my dream a reality. There were 2 nightstands on both sides of the bed made of dark red wood and had 2 drawers. The nightstand on the left had a modern age alarm clock that looked completely out of place.

_A sundial would look better. _

On the right wall there was a pair of two full length windows, which were held together by 4 black clasps. Through the windows, there was a balcony that was filled with pottery plants and looked out into the backyard and a private lake.

_I bet it has the most romantic view at night…_

On the opposite wall there was a very long dresser that held a huge mirror inside its wooden perimeter. I looked into it and saw mine and Edward's refection.

_We look perfect. _

Then suddenly something in the reflection caught my eye. I turned around to examine the other thing that was completely out of place.

A black metallic filing cabinet: it looked as though it belonged in a Law Firm – not inside this masterpiece of a house.

"Uh…" Edward hesitated for a moment. "It doesn't belong here." He stated the obvious.

I walked towards it and he followed. "What's in it?" I asked.

"Heh, remember my books?"

"Your books?" I asked wrapping my fingers on one of the handles and pulled it open.

"My books that you highlighted."

I nodded as I took out one of the files, I opened it and it held my paper on Ancient Greek Rhetoric. My paper was filled with marginal notes and passages were highlighted.

"Well I was trying to figure you out too." He whispered.

_He loves me…_

_So much… _

I placed the file back into place, or what I assumed was its place since Edward didn't have tab markings to organize them. I pushed the drawer closed and turned around to face him.

He looked at me, hoping for my approval and I let go of his hand and wrapped my arms around his neck. "Kiss me." I instructed and he obeyed grabbing me tightly into his warm body.

When our lips connected, it was as though electricity was passing between both of us. Our kiss depended till we had to break for a moment to gasp for air and then we resumed. He pushed me up against the cabinet and I began to tug his hair demandingly.

_I want you. _

_I want you. _

_I want you. _

I lifted my leg up his thigh and he automatically grabbed it and my other leg and pulled me up onto his body. My legs were wrapped around his torso and my arms were around his neck with my hands tugging his hair for more.

_Give me more. _

_Please give me more. _

His hands traveled down to my behind and he groped at it with greed and moaned into my mouth.

_So fucking sexy. _

I broke the kiss quickly and his eyes darted open in surprise, need, and confusion.

"I want you." I whispered softly.

"Bella, I want you so much that it is driving me out of my mind."

_Good, I've already lost mine. _

We looked at each other a moment longer then he spoke again.

"I love you and all I want to do for the rest of my life is make you happy."

I smiled at him…

_Such a god damn gentleman. _

He must have seen the pout on my face.

"And right now." He whispered and I hung to every word he said, "I want to make you happy with a few orgasms." He grinned slyly as his mouth darted to attack mine.

--

**A/N: **Yes I did end it there...yes I'm sorry. lol. Please don't throw stuff at me!! Hehe. Thank you for reading!

Lemon next chapter :) I'll try to make it as tasteful as possible.

Let me know what you think of this chapter! :D


	22. Lemon

I hung onto him like a spider monkey and my legs squeezed his torso when he spoke those words.

_He wants me! _

I looked at him for a prolonged period of time where I basked in his presence and he stared back at me, awaiting my response. At that moment, the worst possible moment, I realized something I should have known a long time ago.

I was looking at him like he was the only man alive – like he was absolutely everything in my life, and he was looking back at me the same way. He had been looking at me that way since he first laid eyes on me.

_How could I have missed it? _

_Oh my god…I love you. _

_I love you. _

My expression must have been one of a person about to go into cardiac arrest because he raised his eyebrow and immediately I pressed my lips against his before he could question me. I deepened the kiss within a heartbeat, hoping he could feel the unspoken words flow from my lips.

I wanted to tell him I loved him with my mouth. I wanted him to know how much he meant to me. I wanted him to know that the way I looked at him was filled with joy, happiness, prospect, respect, loyalty, and love.

I wanted to tell him I loved him, I really did. A pang of guilt settled in the pit of my stomach when I realized I never said it back to him when he had spoken those three sacred words to me consistently. I had loved him since…since, I didn't know since when.

_Was it the first moment we saw each other? _

_Was it the first time I read his books? _

_When did I fall in love with him? _

His tongue danced around with mine as we explored each other's mouths.

_I can't tell him now. _

He pushed my back into the cabinet and he pressed himself against me. I could feel his hardness growing and he let out a soft groan when I tugged his hair. His hands traveled up the outside of my thigh, lifting my skirt up further as he greedily groped my body.

_I definitely can't tell him now. _

I didn't want him to think that my "I love you" was in the heat of the moment. I didn't want to him to feel like I was using him for sex. I didn't want him to feel used. I didn't…

_Oh god. _

He moved his swollen lips from mine and trailed soft gentle kisses down to my neck. I lifted my body up and down slightly, creating friction between us and causing my skirt to hike up even more.

A moan escaped my lips and it seemed to turn him on. His hands traveled around my waist and he pulled me off the cabinet and slowly began to walk towards the bed.

Edward was going to make me his.

He stopped moving for a moment and bit and tugged a patch of skin on my neck, "Oh god Edward." I whispered and then with a soft kiss on the spot he bit, he lifted his head up from the nap of my neck and his lips met mine once more.

His lips were like vanilla flavored strawberry marshmallows. His lips felt perfect on mine, as though our lips were pieces of a puzzle that were made to connect. I didn't want them to ever separate.

My hands left his hair and traveled down to my own jacket and he squeezed me closer to his body to make sure I wouldn't fall as I tried to remove it. I fumbled with the sleeve since I was constantly distracted with Edward's glorious tongue working its magic in my mouth.

_I love you. _

_I love you. _

Finally my jacket came off and with a swat of my arm; it flew across the room – landing somewhere. Edward began walking again and I broke our kiss for a moment; just so we could catch our breath. Our eyes opened to stare at one another and our chests heaved up and down rhythmically from the intense making out we were doing.

"You're so beautiful." He whispered as I felt gravity change and soon enough I found myself laying on my back on his – our bed.

"You're amazing." I whispered back as he crawled on top of me, resting his weight on his forearms and my knees were bent, pressing against his waist.

"I've wanted you so badly." He mumbled into my lips before he took my bottom lip into his mouth and sucked on it.

I tried to keep my hormones in check, but I couldn't stop my moans from escaping as one of his hands traveled up my shirt and gently rubbed my ribs and the rim of my bra. His touch felt like a feather.

_Just take it off! _

"I…want you." I whispered as he tugged my lip.

_Stop teasing me!_

My hands traveled to the collar of his shirt and I tried to unbutton it but the buttons were not cooperating with me.

_Who the fuck invented buttons? _

His hand began to fondle at the fabric in front of my nipples, they harden immediately and his touch sent a jolt of shivers down my back and to my longing core.

I violently tugged at his shirt with both hands moving it in opposite directions; I heard some buttons fall to the floor – but who cares.

His shirt had come undone and that's what I wanted. He sucked on my bottom lip for a second longer before pulling away and straightening his back. He removed the remainder of his shirt from his arms and I lifted the rim off my sweater up slowly.

His eyes stayed on glued on mine, and my eyes stayed on his as I sat myself up slightly and he helped remove my sweater to reveal my dark green lace bra.

"That's so sexy." He said as his eyes trailed down to my breasts slowly appreciating every curve.

"The green reminds me of your eyes." I said shyly.

He leaned into me, forcing my back to hit the bed once more as our mouths made love to the other. My hands roamed from his chest down to his navel and lingered there – gently grazing my fingers along his skin. He shivered and let out a moan. "Bella." He hissed between kisses and squeezed my breast gently.

"Mmm." I replied.

His thumb began to make circles around my nipple, and I arched my back from the pleasure; pushing my body as close to his as possible.

_I need you. _

_I love you. _

I gasped for air when we broke our kiss; I was going to say it – I was going to tell him I love him…but then he kissed my neck and my thoughts went hazy.

With my back still arched towards him, his arm that he wasn't using for support reached behind my back and he quickly unsnapped my bra like a professional. I helped him remove it and he admired my exposed breasts before his eyes stared back into mine.

He was saying he loved me with his eyes.

I tried to return the look, hoping he knew what it meant.

"The moment I saw you." He whispered. "I couldn't imagine you being with anyone else." He kissed my neck gently. "I could not imagine anyone else having you." He licked down my collarbone. "I felt as though we were meant for one another." His wet kisses traveled to the center of my chest. "I love you Bella." He muttered into my body.

I opened my mouth to say it back, but all that escaped was, "I..ugn…Io…uhhhh…unhh" as he took my right nipple into his mouth and fondled my left tit with circular movements of his thumb.

He was making me undeniably wet, and beyond that, he hadn't even touched me down there yet. My panties were already soaked and probably useless, and I didn't care – all I wanted was him…him inside me, any which way – on top, on bottom, on side, up against the wall, in the shower…anywhere as long as he moaned my name.

I moaned again as he gently placed my nipple between his teeth and tugged on it. Then he rolled his tongue around my entire breast and my breathing gradually sped up and a knot formed in the bottom of my stomach. He was going to make me orgasm before he even took off my skirt!

He slowly departed from my breasts and went back to my longing lips, kissing me with so much passion that it gave my fingers the courage to work at unbuckling his belt. "Bella." He whispered leaning away a little from our kiss.

"Mmm?" I asked as my head leaned forward so our lips never departed.

"Are you sure?" His lips moved against mine.

"Mm hmm." I said taking his bottom lip into my mouth and grinded it gently between my teeth.

He leaned back into me and deepened our kiss as I tugged his undone plants down roughly.

_Fucking pants. _

_Go away! _

Edward helped pull them off with his boxers and then his hands were at the rim of my skirt and panties tugging them off as well. I lifted my pelvis up to help him remove it and it went flying across the room – somewhere.

He groaned my name as his hand gently trailed up my hairless thighs, lingering at the spot that was longing for his touch. I looked into his eyes that seemed to hold the passage to another world. I was mesmerized by him.

"You're so beautiful." He spoke gently as his eyes trailed to every part of my body.

"So are you." I managed to get some control over my voice as my eyes admired his body and slowly I brought my fingers up to his face down to his neck and trailed them across his body. He shivered at my touch and my fingers enjoyed feeling his soft hard skin.

His beautiful broad shoulders that seemed to be connected by a protruded collarbone that led down towards his strong powerful chest…

and his well defined 6 – wait no 8…8 pack…and his hip bones created a V pointed towards his….oh my god.

My fingers and eyes paused at his cock. It was stiff from arousal and looked absolutely perfect. It was long and thick, and I could not imagine that it would be even be able to fit inside me…but I wanted it anyway. It was just like every other part of his body – perfect.

Edward must have noticed the widening of my eyes as I examined him and he let out of a soft chuckle. My eyes darted towards him and I gave him a sly grin as my fingers gently touched the base and trailed along to the tip. He inhaled sharply as his eyes narrowed at me.

It was as if he had an intense erg inside him that he was trying to control.

"I want you." He whispered hoarsely.

My other hand reached for his hand that was laying on my thigh and I brought it up to my soaking wet pussy so he could feel how much I wanted him.

"So wet." He muttered as his middle and index finger gently massaged my clit.

I moaned as I in-cohesively said, "I want you too." He pushed his index finger inside me and my hand reflexively squeezed his cock. We both grunted. He added his middle finger into my entrance and slowly continued to push in and out.

My hand began to jerk off his cock with the motion of his fingering me. His thumb gently rubbed my clit each time, stimulating me even more.

He removed his hand from my pussy and placed his wet finger inside his mouth as he tasted me. He grinned as he sucked all the juice off his finger and then his placed his arms around both sides of my shoulders as he prepared to enter me.

He was about to ask if I was ready, or at least that's what I believed, so I responded before he could ask. Both my arms wrapped around his neck and I pulled him down into a deep kiss as I spread my legs eagerly and wrapped them around his waist waiting for him to take the final plunge.

It wanted him. I needed him. I desired him. At that moment my whole world revolved around him. Every movement he made affected me twice more.

Slowly he closed the gap between our hips and he entered me. There was no spot where he began and I ended. We became one at that moment.

We moaned into each other's mouths from the feeling of being complete. He fit me perfectly. We were made for one another.

I realized that he was staying still because I had managed to grasp clumps of his hair into my hand and I was so tense that I pulled them violently. He broke our lips to examine my face for pain. I took a deep breath, untensed my muscles and released his hair.

"You feel so good." He whispered and his hot breathe against my face set me overboard.

"Make love to me." I begged as he remained motionless. I wanted to tell him I loved him, but my voice got caught in my throat as he kissed me once more and his tongue explored my mouth.

I gasped as he raised his hips off mine and began to thrust into me slowly.

He kissed me with so much passion that I no longer had any sense of reality. All I could understand was the feelings that surrounded me like the very air I breathed. He was making me feel every emotion that I kept locked up all my life. He was making me feel everything that I thought was only possible in fictional novels.

Edward was making me feel utterly complete and happy. To me, it was magical.

As his cock slid in and out of me, it caused an electric shock in my body – building into a wave waiting to explode.

He was being gentle and careful with his movements. I wanted him to know everything I was feeling. I wanted him to experience everything I was, and when we broke our kiss his gasping breath and his deep eyes told me that in some way – he was feeling the same thing I was.

His thrusts slowly picked up speed as our eyes remained connected and all control over my body threatened to break.

_How could anyone have such an impact on another person? _

Something as simple as the missionary position was causing me massive amounts of pleasure.

"Oh god Bella." He groaned as he was close to climax. I could feel and see every one of his muscles tense up.

Alice's voice echoed through my head, _"Did you know guys cum faster if they're doing it in missionary? It's because of the bloody flow and the pleasure they – " _I pushed Alice out of my mind – to the very far back of my mind.

I was close to climax and so was he, but I didn't want the building feeling to end. I wanted to capture the feeling, freeze it in time and feel it forever.

I gripped his shoulders and lifted my hips to meet his and tried to put pressure on his right side. I knew that I did not have the strength required to be able to forcefully move him, but he took the hint and rolled us over so I could be on top.

His body glistened from the sweat he worked up and it made his body look even more unreal. He looked like he belonged in a poster for an erotica novel. I straddled him tightly and placed my hands on his chest to steady myself as I began to rid him slowly.

His hands slide down towards my ass he helped me bounce off his body. I bit my lip trying to stead my breathing but the lustful moans and sounds of desire mixed with Edward's name continued to interrupt my concentration and escape my lips.

His breathing increased as his hands groped my ass tighter. "Ung…Bella. Your body….is so perfect." He gasped as I pushed myself onto his hips harder and harder – taking in all of his cock with every thrust.

"Edward." I moaned and his eyes moved from my breasts to meet mine. He began to lift his hips to meet mine, making my body bounce off his harder and faster.

"Cum for me my love." He demanded in a husky voice.

_So close. _

"Cum for me." He repeated himself staring at me with such an intense gaze, that it alone would be able to make me climax.

"I'm so close." I whispered and the next time our bodies connected my climax hit me with a force I'd never experienced before.

It was utterly amazing.

In that moment I collapsed onto his chest and all my energy escape from me.

The orgasm flowed from my core to my scrunched toes and up to my trembling lips.

He rolled our bodies over so he was on top once more – I didn't feel anything except the bliss as he rode out my orgasm.

His lips met my lips roughly and he thrust into me hard and quick until he suddenly stiffened and cam inside of me with a load moan of my name into my mouth.

My orgasm was still vibrating throughout my body when he released himself onto me.

It was perfect.

He was perfect.

We were perfect together.

He slowly and gently removed his softening cock from inside of me and collapsed on top of me, holding himself up with his forearms.

"I have never…" He began.

"Felt like that." I finished his sentence.

He fell down beside me on the bed and his strong arms extended out to me. He pulled me into his sweaty body and I pressed myself against him – I could hear his heart beat with the rhythm of mine.

Thump...Thump…Thump…Thump…Thump…Thump…

I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply, savoring his scent of sex mixed with mine.

He is mine.

I am his.

I wanted to say, "I love you" but sleep captured me after I exhaled.

"S' ayapo," his voice whispered in the darkness of my dream as the song of his heart sang me to sleep.

.

.

.

.

.

My naked body was buried under a soft blue blanket and entangled with Edward.

The second time I woke up in Edward's arms and it still felt perfect. A smile spread across my face as I slid up so my face was inches away from his.

_I love you. _

I wanted to say it. I wanted him to know what took me so long to figure it out.

Everything was happening so fast. Just last week I thought he hated me, and now I was in bed with him.

_Now I love him. _

_Now I want to spend forever with him. _

_Is that normal? _

I closed my eyes and leaned towards his face and gently pressed my lips against his. When our lips connected his grip around me tightened.

"Good morning beautiful." He whispered moving his lips with mine.

_Morning? _

_What day is it? _

I opened my eyes to look into his.

_Who cares…_

I gave his lips another soft peck, and then took his bottom lip into my mouth and sucked on it playfully.

I heard him groan as he his hands roamed down towards my butt. I pressed my teeth gently on his lip and tugged it roughly, unable to keep the grin off my face. I felt like a teenager.

"Bella." He growled as he groped my ass hard.

I let go of his lip and asked, "You're an ass-man?"

"I'm a Bella-man." He replied pulling me closer so I could feel his hardness pressed against my hip.

"I'm an Edward-lady." I said licking his lips right before I kissed him again.

_Round two. _

He rolled himself on his back and placed me on top. I straddled his waist tightly as my tongue grazed the roof of his mouth.

_Stop!_

_Stop!_

_Tell him!_

_Now!_

_Stop!_

I pulled away from him so quickly that he lifted his head automatically to continue the kiss. The blanket fell from my shoulders and I let out a shiver.

"Bella?" He asked opening his eyes and staring carefully into mine.

"Edward." I whispered hoping my voice would not fail me.

"Yes?"

I opened my mouth but nothing came out. I tried again but only an "U-gnh." Escaped pathetically. My lips began to tremble and my eyes started to sting as I tried again and failed.

_I love you!_

_Say it!_

"I love you too." Edward said in such a sweet tone that my heart nearly leapt out of my chest.

"I do." I said stupidly.

_I love you! I love you! I love you! _

"I know." He answered simply as his hands departed from my butt and he began to gently massage my back. "You've said it a few times." He said with a coy grin on his face.

"What?" I began to panic.

_Please don't tell me…_

"You talk in your sleep."

_Oh my god. _

I fumbled off his body trying to hide my bright red face from him.

I brought the blanket up to my chest to try to cover myself up – suddenly ashamed of being naked. Edward sat up and leaned in to comfort me over something a normal person would not need to be comforted for.

_How long have I loved him? _

"When did I?" I asked in an uneasy voice unable to make myself look at him.

"Every night." Edward said gently.

"Since?" I asked feeling my legs begin to tremble.

"The night you pass out from the Vodka." He replied truthfully.

If my head could explode it would have combusted from embarrassment. I could only imagine what else I said to him.

"I'll be…I need to…I'll be right back." I couldn't comprehend myself or my feelings in that moment.

It was one thing to be naked in front of him – physically, but it was another thing entirely to be naked in front of him emotionally and spiritually without even knowing it.

"Wait Bella." Edward said as I stood up from the bed, wrapping the thick bundle of blanket around my body to try to cover up.

"Just bathroom." I mumbled.

I didn't even know where the bathroom was in his house…_no our house…his house….our house…his house…our house._

When I got out of bed and walked to the door – I wanted to turn around and run back into his arms.

_He's known the whole time…_

_What else did I say? _

_Why didn't he tell me sooner…_

I rushed down the hall, and then stopped.

I was being stupid and immature. I was about to turn around and go back to our bedroom when I felt his body pressed against mine and his arms wrapped around my chest.

"Bathrooms on the left." He whisper sent goosebumps down my spine.

I let go of the hold on the blanket and it dropped down forming a puddle between us.

We were both naked.

He placed his head on my shoulder and traced small kisses right under my ear. "Did I scare you away?" he asked worried.

"No…I just…"

_I just what? _

I didn't even know what I wanted to say.

Then I spoke without thinking.

"It's all your fault!" I accused him as I shut my eyes tightly trying to keep the tears from escaping.

"What's my fault?" I felt his body stiffen from my words.

"For making me love you so much." I whispered as a tear escaped and rolled down my cheek and dripped down to his arm that still held me tightly.

"I love you." He said, still not moving.

I took a deep breath and confessed to him so quickly that my words rolled over one another as I spoke, "It's happening so fast. I didn't think I was like that. I didn't think this was possible for me. I mean, it's the look. We have the look. I can't look at you any other way, and I didn't know I've been looking at you like I love you and you knew and and and…" I took another deep breathe, "I love you and I'm scared of what will happen between us. I'm so…" I paused trying to find the words as he listened patiently, "terrified at how fast everything is happening." I swallowed my words and became utterly grateful that his arms were around me because I would have crumbled to the floor without him holding onto me. "Everything is happening too fast. One kiss from you, and I couldn't resist you. After that first kiss, and then. I'm…I just….I'm just…" I took another deep breath and whispered the word, "scared."

His arms tightened around me and it became his turn to speak.

"I'm sorry I could not resist you either. I really tried but…" He planted a kiss on my neck. "You're just too perfect for me." He kissed down to my shoulder. "I wanted you to feel secure in our relationship first. I wanted to treat you like a princess. I wanted to make sure you knew that…" He gripped my shoulders and spun me around to face him. I forgot the fact that he we were both naked with the bedroom blanket lying on the floor between us. At that moment I wasn't ashamed of anything.

I looked into his deep bottomless eyes that were created just to look at me.

"I wanted to make sure that you knew that you and me are forever."

"You and I." I corrected him grammatically as I placed my arms around his neck.

He chuckled and placed a soft kiss on my lips and shivers ran all over my body.

"I love you." I finally spoke the three words that my heart was too scared to say.

"I love you too." He replied gripping my waist and pressing me closer to him.

* * *

**A/N**: As always I appreciate the reviews. Thank you so much for taking the time to read my story and I hope you enjoyed this chapter.


	23. Vixen

**A/N**: Pure Fluff

I don't know how to describe the happiness I felt when we made love again. I was able to tell him that I loved him as he pushed me to another climax. It was utter perfection.

The climax after that was amazing too.

And the one after that.

And the one after that one.

I woke up the next day sometime in the afternoon or maybe early morning. I didn't know the time, nor did I care much. The day didn't matter to me either. Edward only mattered.

He was softly snoring into my hair with his arms wrapped loosely around my waist. I could only sigh happily; heaven has nothing on Edward. I would choose eternal damnation every moment of my life as long as Edward was there.

Sadly, I began to fidget and was unable to remain still when Edward was in his dream world – where I hopped he was subconsciously dreaming of me. Gently I lifted Edward's arm off me and he didn't budge. He was a deep sleeper.

"Bella." He mumbled softly but remained unconscious.

_He talks in his sleep too! _

I bit my lip to keep from giggling as I smiled.

I set my feet on the floor and slowly sat up – trying my hardest not to disturb Edward. That was the last thing I'd want to do, especially since he was dreaming of me. I looked over my shoulder, to see his angelic sleeping face. He was a sculpture of perfection. I loved him so much. It felt as though the words, "I love you" were not enough to describe the connection I felt with him. The perfect bliss he created by existing in my world was so supernatural that words could never do it justice. My heart felt it, and there was no other way to describe it besides to feel it for yourself.

I tip toed across the room and found his shirt on the floor on my way towards the door. I put it on and tried to button it but realized that I ripped off almost all the buttons with my hormonal lust our first time having sex.

_Stupid buttons. _

With his shirt draped over me, I walked out of the bedroom. He gave me a tour of the house, pointed to doors, explained the difference between limestone and marble, and gave a background to all the artworks throughout the house. I appreciated it, and I'd love to have spent more time in each room but my curiosity was the driving force of my actions. It was one thing to learn from lecture, it was another all together to explore.

When I went into the hallway earlier, I had noticed a half open door. I couldn't remember what was in it or if Edward told me anything about it. But I couldn't resist a mystery.

I walked down the hall, shivering with each step on the cold marble – or was it limestone? I forgot.

I noticed the wooden door that was creaked open immediately. I made a quick dash towards the room and opened it slowly. It squealed as though it hadn't been moved in 50 years. It completely ruined my goal of being deaf silent throughout my adventure.

Before entering I waited patiently, holding my breath, staring in the direction of our bedroom. I didn't hear Edward emerge and took it as a sign to proceed.

I felt like a secret agent or a spy as I snuck inside the unknown room. It was silly for me to feel that way considering that Edward and I now shared the house. Well kind of shared the house. I was a guest and guests were allowed to snoop right?

_Am I a guest? _

I pushed those thoughts out of my mind and turned my attention to the darkened room – half expecting Dracula and Wolverine to jump at me. But neither happened.

My eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness of the room as I took a step inside. The floor creaked – it was wooden paneled and felt unsterdy, almost as if I could fall through at any moment.

My heart began to race.

I paid extra attention to the floor as I walked into the room. I didn't want to trip, break my leg, and have Edward save me. At least not at that moment. Edward could save me when I wasn't pretending to be a spy.

I trailed my fingers along the wall, it felt rusty at first.

_How can a wall feel rusty?_

Finally my finger hit something that felt like a switch. I pressed every possible part of it till eventually a light bulb went off on the ceiling. I looked up and noticed it was only a single bulb; like the kind people keep in their closet – nothing special. I shouldn't have expected a French chandelier in every room.

My eyes grazed across the room. It took my breath away. The reason the wall felt rusty was because of the wallpaper. It was a light gray with protruding dark gray flower-petal patterns. In the middle of the room were 2 old brown leather couches that were covered an inch of ancient dust facing each other and a gray overstuffed chair against a naked wall. I moved across the room and noticed a book shelf up against the back wall. A dark wooden 10 story bookshelf that was pact with hundreds of leather bond books. The room didn't look like a library and I was almost certain that Edward said the library was in the other wing.

_Didn't he? _

I trailed my finger on the bindings of the books and my finger left a dustless print on the old books. I took a deep breath and blew at the shelf that was closest to me. Dust danced all around me and I fanned my hand in my face as I began to cough.

I should have expected that.

When the dust finally settled down I looked back at the books. Most of the books were so worn out that I could not read the titles. I closed my eyes and grabbed the first book I touched and pulled it out of its place.

"As I lay dying by William Faulkner"

I blew at the book once more, getting all the dust off of it. I've read some Faulkner in my graduate days, but never "As I lay dying". It was a relatively short book and it would be a perfect read while Edward slept.

I took another look around the room. I wasn't sure what color anything really was since the dust made everything seem gray and brown. I felt as though this room was frozen in time and remained unchanged for years. I was an intruder.

Slowly I walked out of the room, carefully looking down and watching my every step. I noticed the dust footprints I was leaving on the floor. I failed as a spy.

When I got out of the room, I cleaned my legs off and walked back into our bedroom. Edward was still in the same place. Still looking like a perfect angel.

_My perfect angel. _

"I love you." I whispered as I sat beside him and lifted his forearm to cover my abdomen again.

He still didn't move.

I opened the book and began to read.

I was so drawn into the book that it took Edward biting my neck for me to come back to reality.

I let out a sharp yelp and turned to slap him.

"You wouldn't care if a big asteroid was coming to blow Forks up as long as you were reading." He whispered after taking my playful hit.

"Not that I wouldn't care. I wouldn't notice." I replied leaning in to kiss his plump lips and to apologize.

"What are you reading?" He asked sitting up and put his arm around my shoulders.

"As I lay dying." I replied looking at him with a smile.

His face fell and looked slightly horrified.

"What?" I asked.

"After we've made love, you read a story about the most fucked up family known in literature?"

"The two aren't connected." I grinned.

"What part are you up to?"

I lifted the book off my lap and looked at the page I was on. I cleared my throat and added a little childish pep into my voice; "Vardamin; my mother is a fish."

He groaned. "Was I really that bad?" He asked pulling me closer to him.

I placed the book back on my lap, turned over slightly and leaned into his chest. I placed a kiss on his cheek. "You were." I whispered placing another kiss on the edge of his mouth. "Absolutely." I kissed his chin. "Delicious." I mumbled as our lips connected and we kissed deeply and passionately.

He grabbed me tightly and pulled me as close to his body as I could possibly get. "I love you." He whispered.

"I love you more." I whispered as I licked his lips playfully.

He looked over his shoulder at the digital clock that I kept forgetting to notice. It didn't look as though it belonged in there and my mind just blocked it out. It read 1:03 P.M.

"You have to teach class soon." He said turning back to me.

"It's Monday?" I asked.

"It's Monday." He said.

"Wow." I said.

"I could have sworn…" I began.

"Me too."

"Ugh." I said burying my face into his chest.

"I'll shower first; you can keep reading about the dysfunctional family."

"They're not dysfunctional!" I said defensively.

"Alright. Keep reading, and then argue with me." He said leaning away from me and getting off the bed.

I stuck my tongue out at him.

"I love you." I whispered watching him walk out of the room. His ass was absolutely perfect.

He was literally a Greek sculpture as far as I was concerned.

I smiled as I turned my attention back to the not-so-dysfunctional family's epic adventure.

----------------

"I can't believe he took her abortion money!" I yelled as he opened the door to his car for me. "I mean honestly, and he's ruined everyone's lives for his new teeth! He is a horrible father! And did he notice how they described him. Oh my god. The scar and hunchback. Plus the whole I'll die if I sweat! What the hell is that!?" I paused as Edward walked around the car to the driver's seat. I ran my fingers through my wet hair.

When Edward got in, I screamed; "Frankenstein!"

"What?" Edward asked placing the key into the ignition.

"Frankenstein. He's like Frankenstein."

"I told you the family was messed up."

"But oh my god! How messed up can you get?! That was sick and twisted and and and, oh my god." I was at a loss for words.

Edward chuckled at my rant. "I can't believe you've never read that book."

"I am teaching that book next semester." I declared. "I bet the kids will love it."

"Uh huh." Edward muttered in a sarcastic agreeance as he drove down the road of his front yard that was over a mile long.

"They will!" I said.

"Sure, just wait till you start analyzing it."

"What?"

"The ideas some kids come up with to explain that book is just…" Edward paused searching for the right word. "Let's just say you start questioning your students own sanity." Edward flashed me a grin.

"How bad?"

"Oh, I won't spoil anything for you." He said looking at me and giving me a wink.

"He reminded me of Woolf's stream of consciousness." I said.

"She's not as demented as him."

"Really? You think so? Faulkner was secretive. He hated being public about anything. His biography is utterly scarce and he pretended to be an uneducated southerner which was the furthest from who he was."

"I love it when you talk." Edward smirked.

"I'm being serious!" I pouted crossing my arms across my chest.

"So am I."

"Well….nya!" I said sticking my tongue out.

He broke out into a chuckle.

"How old are you again?"

"42." I answered.

"Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy." He replied simply.

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times."

"Tail of two cities."

"Tropic of Capricorn."

"Henry Miller."

"I damn a man who only knows how to spell a word one way."

"Paraphrased, but Mark Twain."

"The man in black fled across the desert and the gunslinger followed."

"The Gunslinger by Stephen King."

"Ten things I hate about you."

"Heeth Ledger. Based off a Shakespeare's play."

"Emma."

"Jane Austen." He said shaking his head.

"Gilmore Girls."

"What?"

"HA!" I squealed.

He rolled his eyes at me.

"It's a T.V show. Alice took a week off of work and the whole time she made it into a Gilmore Girl's marathon with me while eating the most disgusting foods."

"What's disgusting foods?" He asked as we finally got out of his drive way and onto the street.

"Donuts, gummy worms, hot chocolate, coo-coo-puffs, rice crispies, peanut butter and jelly, ice cream, frosting, sprinkles, chocolate, and milk."

"That doesn't sound so bad."

"All mixed in a bowl."

"Oh." He gave me a disbelieving glance as we stopped at a red light. "I hope you don't put me through the same torture."

"Alice's plans are unstoppable and unpredictable." I said

"Oh, do tell me more." Edward said with a smirk and a hint of sarcasm. So, to entertain him – I did tell him more.

"Alice throws these themed parties. During our college years she threw a nude themed party." I said slowly, carefully watching his reaction to my words.

He clenched his jaw and his hands tightened on the steering wheel. I wondered if he was imagining me naked.

"Mmm hmm." I replied enjoying myself. "Everyone was supposed to arrive in a trench coat and completely naked, except females were allowed to wear a thong."

"Is that even legal?" He asked in a deep horse voice.

"Who knows?" I shrugged, enjoying his expression.

"Did you go?" His eyes narrowed as he stared onto the road ahead of us.

"Of course."

Silence.

"Not." I grinned and heard him exhale.

"But I did get pictures. The detail I failed to mention was everyone came in body paint. It was actually very classy and no one got knocked up."

"Alice still throws those parties?" He asked after chuckling, his mood immediately lightened when he discovered I wasn't a part of it.

"Of course. It's Alice."

"We should go then."

"You just want to paint my body."

"And partake in some pre-festive activities."

I gently hit in across the arm.

"Hey I'm driving." He said faking a wince.

"And I'm naked under these clothes." I said as-a-matter-of-factly.

"Don't tempt me."

"You liiiike me. You liiiiike me. You wannnnnt me. You liiiiiiike me. You wannnnnnnt to kissss meeee. You wannnnt to touuuuuuch meeee." I chanted teasingly.

Edward swerved immediately and pulled over to the side of the road. The wheels have his car squeaked in protest at the sudden change of course.

I gasped as my hands tightened on my seat belt, before I could register what Edward did, his lips crushed against mine and he completely took my breath away with the most in-the-moment kiss I've ever had.

When my mind recovered from the initial shock and registered that I was safe, I leaned into Edward and tried to kiss him back but he pulled away and sat back into his seat. He placed his car in reverse to get back on the road.

"You liiiiiike meeee. You wannnnnt meee. You wannnnt to kissssss me." Edward mimicked my voice.

I sat there completely stunned. This was a side of Edward I never imagined. A grin spread across my face.

_Two could play. _

He chuckled as he glanced at my face – he was probably admiring the feverous blush he caused to spread across on my cheeks.

"You forgot something." I said as he got onto the highway.

"What is that kitten?" he asked flashing me a crooked smile.

"IIIIIIIII alsoooo." I whispered leaning towards him. "want to touch youuuu." I said as my hand slide towards his knee and rubbed up to his thigh and lingered close to his manhood. His whole body froze. I placed a small kiss on his cheek and quickly retreated back to my seat with my arms crossed across my chest and victorious smile upon my face.

He gulped and tried to compose himself.

"You are a vixen."

"Your vixen." I said casually as I fumbled with the car controls till i was able to finally figure out how to turn on the radio. I remained content to listening to the classical music the station was playing. After a moment his right hand left the steering wheel and extended towards my armrest and we intertwined fingers.

That was the moment I realized how important life was. The action of placing his fingers between my gaps was when I realized that it was real. It's when everything had dawned on me. Everything was real. Everything that had happened and was happening was not a dream. It was all real. My life was real. Edward was real. We were real.

I was really happy and most importantly it wasn't a story. It wasn't in text. It was my life. My life made me happy.

Edward made me happy.

I looked over to him, and his peaceful expression was so masculine and content that I couldn't take my eyes off him. It was real, no matter how unreal it felt, it was real.

"Edward." I whispered. The music was loud, and I wasn't sure he could hear me, but he still looked over at me with concern in his eyes.

"Yes kitten?" He continued driving.

"I'm happy." I said foolishly.

I felt it, and felt as though someone should know.

"I'm happy too." He replied squeezing my hand.

"Road! Look!" I said pointing in front of him – terrified we would get into a car accident.

"But you're so beautiful!" He whined, glancing at me from the corner of his eyes.

I felt my cheeks burn. I loved his compliments. I didn't believe I was beautiful, or wonderful, or even smart for that matter. But when he said it, for that moment I was.

"Well, get a picture of me and paste it on your windshield." I deadpanned sarcastically.

"Maybe I will."

"I wasn't serious!"

"Mmm hmmm." He grinned as he got off the next exit. "But you did give me the idea."

"Oh my god, please don't!" I felt a new wave of embarrassment spread through me, but the smile remained plastered on my face.

"Well, how else am I going to look at you while I'm driving?" He asked.

"You can look at me any other time you want." I said honestly. "Oh wait, no. Except I have a bad hair day."

"Hah." He squeezed my hand once more as he pulled into the University parking lot. "My dear, you and bad don't work together in the same sentence."

"Cute." I replied as he parked his car and let go of my hand to exit. My hand felt empty and lonely. It felt wrong to be without him.

By the time he got out of the car I only just finished unbuckling my seat belt. He was there to open my door and help me out.

"You're inhumanly fast." I said stepping out.

"Not fast enough." He said closing my door and grabbing my hand. "I do recall someone saying, 'faster, faster' a lot last night."

"Edward!" I snapped.

"I tease love." He placed a kiss on my temple as we walked towards The Center to pick up our mail and have the person filling in for Esme clock us in.

"There's this class being offered this semester that I really want to sit in." I said surprising myself that I was telling him that. I normally didn't sit in for lectures, but it seemed incredibly interesting to me.

"Oh, which one? We can sit in on it together." He said.

"You might find it boring." I said as he opened the door to The Center for me.

"Nonsense. If it's boring I'll pass high school notes to you. 'Circle yes or no. Will you go out with me?'"

"Yes." I said immediately and we both laughed.

"Hello dears." Esme's voice carried across the room. My eyes shot to the center desk where Esme was sitting.

"Esme I thought you were on bed rest?" I asked.

"That's a very impolite and improper way of saying hello." She replied sweetly. Her voice sounded stronger than the last time I heard her. She also looked much better, not completely recovered but she no longer carried a weak aura around her.

"Hello Esme. You look lovely as always." Edward said and whispered to me, "look who's being rude to Esme now!"

I pinched Edward's arm as we walked towards her. "I'm sorry. Excuse my manners. I'm just worried about you is all."

"I'm fine. Carlisle comes to check on me every hour. I can't stand being in bed, it's so frustrating not to be doing anything."

"It's a talent my dear." Edward replied and I rolled my eyes.

"So the sloth is talented?" I asked him.

"Can you be slother than a sloth?" He asked.

I opened my mouth to speak then closed it with a chuckle. Edward squeezed my hand and Esme spoke.

"Here's your mail my darlings." Esme placed 2 small stacks of papers on the desk top. Edward grabbed both before I could even lift my hand.

"So Carlisle finally ask?" Edward grinned catching a glance at Esme's huge diamond.

"Yes." Esme blushed, bringing a pink color to her lackluster face.

"Congratulation!" I said unable to erase the huge smirk on my face. I already knew he proposed, but I didn't tell Edward what I saw. Esme was my inspiration to be able to tell Edward how I feel and I wasn't sure I could explain it to him...yet. Esme reminded me I could be myself and still be loved. And Esme was happy, and I was happy. It was wonderful. Esme proved what a real relationship should be like.

Unconditional. Constant. Understanding.

"I'm glad. Congratulation." Edward said.

"Thank you both so much." She smiled.

"Have you set a date?" I asked.

"Oh, we're already married." She said taking a smile reminiscing glance at her ring. "We decided to just fill out the papers. No parties."

"We have to have a party for you!" I reasoned.

"Oh, I'm sure Alice will not let us get away with it." Esme smiled.

"Alice!" I gasped remembering my best friend for more than just a memory. I forgot to call her.

"Oh that's right. Alice called a few times. Carlisle checked your apartment but you weren't there. Then Alice said something or other about spying and finding out you were with your new…" Esme cleared her throat for a dramatic effect, "boyfriend."

"Uh…yes..Ummm." I was at a loss for words.

"It was a pleasure seeing you Esme. We better get to class." Edward said saving me. He placed a friendly pat on her shoulder and they both exchanged private smiles.

"Bye Esme." I mumbled.

"Good day to you both." She replied with a friendly warm hearted smile.

"I'm so happy for you." I said truthfully before turning away with Edward.

"And I for you my dear, and I for you." She said with love in her eyes.

Edward and I walked out.

"I need to call Alice!" I said as we walked across campus.

Edward nodded and I reached into my pocket and grabbed my cell phone.

**145 missed class, Voicemail box full, text message inbox full. **

I sighed inwardly as I pressed call on her contact name.

"Oh Edward."

"Yes?" Edward looked down at me.

"I love you." I smiled.

"I love you too." He replied kissing the top of my head as I placed the phone to my ear.

* * *

**A/N:** I warned it would be pure fluff. I will get to Alice/Jasper and Rosalie/Emmett soon I promise. This story is (sort of) just Bella's PoV, so it takes time to explain the other relationships. I promise (to try) not to disappoint! Hope you are enjoying it so far! Also sorry for the infrequent update. As soon as finals are over I promise I'll update regularly. Thank you again. My appreciation for all the reviews goes beyond words. I love you guys. You really inspire me, and boost my ego into an endorphinic state. I am very grateful. Thank you again.

**Edit**: Just for those who didn't get it. Bella is NOT 42...42 is the answer to life, the universe, and everything in the book Hitcherhiker's Guide to the Galxy that Edward immiedelty referenced after she said it. Also thanks Hadi, I fixed the Woolf/Austen mistake, I had both books in front of me and the authors just meshed in my head for some odd reason. :)


	24. You Do Not Insult Mark Twain

"YOU!" Alice squealed into my ear and I flinched; having forgotten just how squeaky her voice could be. Edward and I continued walking across campus towards the building my office was in. The campus was decently scarce with only a few students rushing to class.

I hoped Alice wouldn't freak out on me too much.

I was about to reply but she continued speaking so quickly I thought she would eventually choke on her own words. "YOU! YOU! How could you leave me out! I have been your best friend since forever! And we shared the blanky! Do you not remember the blanky! Then ! We shared that too! Lost virginity! That too! You were the first person I told! Now you go running off all hot and bothered and completely leave me out of the loop!" She took a deep breath, and I knew she wasn't done. "Out. Of. The. Loop. I had to call Esme, and then Carlisle had to go and check on you. Then I called Pete! Do you have any idea what you did to me?!"

"Wait wait Alice. Pete?" I had to interrupt her, I was becoming vastly confused.

"Pete the pizza guy!" She said in an obvious tone as though she was explaining colors to a fifth grader.

"Oh." I remembered who Pete was.

_Wait – what? _

Alice lost me again.

"It was embarrassing, and what was even more embarrassing was that I had no idea! No idea where you were! Did you end up in the hospital again? What happened to you! Dear god Bella you trip on thin air! Then I find out your at his place and you still haven't called me! No calls and no texts! Nothing! It's like you don't love me anymore!"

"Wait, wait Alice. First off; I love you to death. Second off; what the hell does Pete have to do with anything?" I looked up at Edward who just tried to remain diplomatic but his confusion was sipping through. He was only getting one side of the conversation, but it wasn't like I even understood the other side.

"Well I kinda sorta…you know."

"No I don't?" I said leaning into Edward to give him a kiss on the cheek.

"Well I asked him to drive to Edward's."

"What?!" I screamed into Edward's ear and he jolted slightly. I quickly moved away and apologized to him. Edward squeezed my hand and whispered, "Bella, is everything okay?"

"He didn't see anything! At least nothing naughty."

"How would YOU know that?" I stopped walking and Edward waited patiently beside me.

Have I mentioned he is the best boyfriend ever?

"I was on the phone with him the whole time." Alice justified herself.

"Alice, you sent a pizza delivery guy to spy on me?!"

"You didn't call me!"

"That's illegal!"

"No, there is no private property between best friends."

She used that line when she opened all my college acceptance/rejection letters without telling me.

"Alice." I hissed.

"I was worried!"

In the scheme of things, taking into perspective the many things Alice was capable of, sending a pizza delivery guy to spy on me should have been considered a perfectly normal reaction.

She continued trying to explain herself; "I thought something happened and I just had to be sure you were okay…and Pete saw two shadows walking around hand in hand in the living room, and then in the tower. And holy crap your house has a tower did you know that? I didn't realize he bought the Adams mansion. Really nice taste if I do say so myself. Needs a butt lot of restoration though. Oh and tell Edward to change the gate code."

I sighed. "Alice I forgive you. I'm sorry I didn't call you."

"It's okay. BythewayIalsoscheduledademolitionofyouraparentment. So tell me, how was he in bed?"

"Wait what!?"

"How. Was. He. In. Bed?"

"The other thing! You did what to my apartment!?"

"I was upset!!"

"So you destroy where I live!?! Alice!" That was a bit much, even for Alice.

Edward ran his hand through his hair and stared intensely at me. "Are you okay?" He mouthed again.

"Can I live with you?" I whispered back.

His expression widened to the smile of a Cheshire cat and he nodded.

"You didn't call me!" Alice yelled, deviating my attention from Edward once more.

"Alice…" I tried to keep my temper.

"How was he in bed?"

"Alice!"

"You didn't call me!"

"You said that already!"

"That's the truth! And I plan to rebuild it! It was ugly!"

"Alice! God, what else did you do?"

"Nothing…"

"Alice…" I sighed knowing there was more.

"It's nothing THAT big…"

"What did you do?"

"I bought an island."

Silence.

How do you respond to something like that?

"So how was he in bed?" Alice asked again.

"How do you buy an island?"

"Well I made an island actually."

"You made an island."

"Yeap!"

"Why?"

"Esme and Carlisle are married!"

"So you boug – I mean, _made_ them an island?"

"Don't tell them!"

"Alice." I said softly, and then took a deep breath, "I love you."

"I love you too, so how was he in bed?"

"I am not answering that question."

"Why?"

"He's right next to me!"

"Fine!"

The next thing I heard was the dial tone. I sighed and nudged Edward that it was safe to continue walking.

Edward glanced at me confused. "She sent a pizza guy to spy on us, blew up your apartment, and made an island?" He asked making sure he got it right.

I put my phone back into my pocket as I grimly nodded to his assumptions. "I love her…to death." I hoped that somehow justified Alice's actions.

"I know you do. I'm sure she means well." Edward said opening the door for me.

I gave him a kiss on the cheek. "I love you, and you do realize Alice is going to become your best friend now?"

"She comes with the package." He replied simply as we began to climb the stairs to the 4th floor.

"And you're okay with that?"

"Bella, as long as I have you – I don't care if I get the damn devil and Hemingway following me around all day."

"God I hate Hemingway."

"Me too."

"You must love me."

"You can't even being to fathom."

"Putting up with Hemingway for me very sweet…Now if it was Conrad, I might be impressed."

"Joseph Conrad?" Edward asked shocked as we climbed the stairs.

"The very one."

"The man's a genius."

"The man's a damn snooze fest! Have you not read Heart of Darkness!? That damn book is ridiculous."

"It's one of the most well read books in the collegial world." Edward defended.

"Yes, we have to know crappy literature so we could enjoy the good literature."

"That was not crappy literature."

"It was a load of racist, stereotypical, dehumunizationed, cruel thing ever! Plus all the characters were so flat they might as well not have existed at all!"

"You are absolutely absurd." He said as we reached the third flight.

"You're absolutely delusional for even believing Conrad has any shred of talent."

"That's like insulting Mark Twain."

I turned around and looked down on him since I was 3 steps above him. I pointed my finger to his chest. "You. Do. Not. Insult. Mark. Twain." I said poking his chest with every word.

"You are so sexy when you're mad."

"I love you." I smiled as I leaned in to kiss his lips.

"And amazingly bipolar." He replied kissing me back.

"Whatever, Tom."

"Want to go sailing Huckleberry?"

"Through Neverland." I replied turning around and climbing the last flight of steps.

"Going James Barrie on me?"

"Now that man is a genius."

"If I induce psychogenic dwarfism will you consider me a genius too?"

"Oh shut up and kiss me." I said as he reached in front of me to open the door after planting a kiss on my head. "Nice kiss." I deadpanned.

We stepped into the hallway, and once more I found myself feeling incredibly happy. Amazingly happy. Perfectly happy. Edward was everything I wanted. Even when he was wrong and disagreed with me.

He grabbed my waist and bent over slightly, dipping me down and gave me a Hollywood movie kiss in the middle of the hallway. He left me as stunned and breathless as he did with his car kiss. He placed me back to my upright position before I could even react.

There was no way I'd ever get used to Edward's spontaneousness.

Suddenly his phone rang and I quickly tried to compose myself.

Edward checked the Caller I.D on his cell phone. "I love you." He said leaning down to give me a kiss on the nose before he flipped it open and pressed it to his ear. I ran my fingers through my hair trying to make sure it was tamed.

"Hey Alice."

I froze when he spoke into the phone and stared at him with disbelief. He grinned in return.

_How did she get his number? _

"Yes I did kidnap her."

"Very sorry."

"I'll make sure she calls you next time."

"Yes I promise."

"I promise on my manhood."

"Alice…is that necessary?" He began to look uncomfortable.

"Uh…is that legal?"

I chuckled.

"Alice!"

"Okay, I swear."

I watched him slightly amused.

"Uh…Alice." He seemed desperately lost.

I grinned as he realized what he got himself into.

"Yes, yes, no, yes, no, never thought of that, no, no, 4 times, yes, no." Edward answered quickly trying to keep up with Alice.

"What did she ask?" I whispered going on my tippy toes to try to hear the conversation.

"Uh, infinity?" Edward looked startled and I grabbed the phone from him.

"Stop terrorizing my boyfriend!" I yelled at Alice.

"I was not terrorizing. Simply interrogating." She replied sweetly.

"Well stop it!"

"He thought you were great in bed by the way." I could hear the smugness in her voice.

"Well…he was too."

"I want details."

"I'm not giving you details right now."

"Did you do it on top?"

"Yes."

"Did he make you cum?"

"Each time, Alice this is crazy."

I heard a loud squeal from her. "I'm ordering my ticket back to Forks now! I'll be there tomorrow!! I can't wait!"

"You're coming back to Forks because…I have a boyfriend?"

"Yes, this should be declared a nationally holiday! I can't wait to come back!"

"Careful I might blow up your house." I replied sarcastically.

"Oh Bella get over it." I could just imagine Alice rolling her eyes as she said that.

"I love you my little devilish pixie." I said waving the white flag of defeat. You just don't argue with Alice. You can't win.

"Mwah! I love you too!"

I hung up and gave the phone back.

"Thought it would be fun didn't you?" I stared at him.

"I didn't know she was so…demanding. I only wanted to compliment you profusely to your best friend."

"Alice is difficult that way." I grinned and grabbed his hand as we walked towards my office. "So compliment, eh?"

"Profusely."

"Well I'm waiting." I said smugly as I unlocked the door to my office and held it open for him.

I turned around to lock the door and then put all my attention back into Edward.

He sat in my chair, with his black button up shirt begging to be taken off. He had a lazy smirk on his face as I walked towards him.

I sat in the middle of my desk and brought my feet up to the edges of his chair.

"You're beautiful." He said leaning towards me.

"You're handsome." I replied leaning towards him.

"I am the luckiest man alive to have you." He said placing his hands on my waist and rubbing circles with his thumb.

"I am the luckiest woman alive to have you. You're all mine you realize that?" I said placing a small kiss on his nose and my hands traveled to his collar and tugged him closer to me.

"You realize you're stuck with me."

"Forever." I replied

"Not enough." He whispered as he leaned into me and our lips connected.

"Forever and a day." I muffled into his mouth.

"Not long enough." He said grazing his tongue on my bottom lip.

Our kiss soon became demanding and passionate and he pulled me off the desk and onto his lap. I straddled him as my hands trailed downward and I tried to carefully unbutton his damn shirt.

"Ancient….Indus…." I mumbled into his mouth. He broke the kiss for unwillingly.

"What?"

"Buttons were…first discovered in the ancient Indus Valley." I replied panting. I needed his mouth on mine and didn't realize that I just told him useless history trivia while making out.

He stared at me, slightly baffled and slightly confused.

"Me…I…we were having sex, ripped shirt, wondered about buttons." I mumbled leaning my lips against his. "I just remembered."

"Just kiss me." He whispered squeezing my body closer to his.

_Gladly. _

Then my phone rang.

_Ugh. _

"It might be important." I reasoned. I had yet to understand the vast capabilities of a cell phone; such as ring tone caller I.D.

"Hello?" I picked up and pulled Edward's arm tightly around me.

He kissed the top of my head and I smiled.

"Hey Bella. It's Angela."

"Angy, is everything okay?" I asked concerned.

"Oh yes yes! The twins got sick, and I have to stay and take care of them."

"No problem. Just read up to the end of the Bastille."

"Alright. Thank you so much Bella."

"Oh, and don't forget to pay attention to narration and metaphors."

"Always."

"I hope they get better soon."

"Thank you, I really appreciate it."

"No problem. Let me know if there's anything I can do for you."

After a very polite goodbye, I turned my attention back to Edward, wanting to continue where we left off.

"It's almost time for your class." He said, and I could feel the agitation in his voice. He didn't want me to leave either.

I turned around and checked the clock on the wall.

I had 5 minutes.

I sighed.

"Come to class with me." I begged pouting.

"I'd love to. But I highly doubt I'd be able to restrain myself. You are just so damn sexy teaching, and honestly, would you be able to concentrate?"

"Sure." I lied.

He looked me in the eyes.

"No." I said honestly and groaned.

"Go teach class. I'll be here when you return."

"Promise?"

"I'll never leave."

"That's a dangerous promise."

"I'm willing to risk it."

"You know, a promise means everything when it's made, and nothing when it's broken."

"Then let me be your everything." His voice rang of honesty and loyalty.

I stared into his sunset forest eyes. The key to my heart were in those eyes. I nodded, not needing words to ruin the emotions the moment caused. I leaned in to kiss his lips. Soft and gentle. Sweet and sentimental.

The missing piece to my puzzle.

I looked at Edward one last time, and sighed dreamily. Everything was too unreal.

"Don't trip." Edward joked as I walked out the door.

"Bite me." I said rolling my eyes.

"Don't tempt me." Edward muttered as the door closed behind me.

I was sure Edward would find some form of entertainment in my office. I had no skeletons in the closet or deep dark secrets hiding anywhere. He'd probably find something to read to pass the time. I had plenty of books in my drawers. I was boring. I lived in books.

_Not anymore. _

I had to remind myself Edward was not fictional. He was real. He was mine.

_Mine. _

I grinned as I walked into my classroom. All my students were seated and talking amongst themselves. I didn't bring my folder or planner, so I thought I'd just wing it. I had enough practice teaching to be able to pull a good lecture out of my ass.

I was able to go with the flow easily. Everyone hated the book and two students admitted to using Sparknotes to know what the hell was going on. I made a mental note to finish the book that week and start something interesting.

I remembered the next book on the syllabus was One Hundred Years of Solitude, and I was positive the students would enjoy it more. And if not, I hoped it was on Sparknotes.

Class went by quickly; maybe it was the debate over the meaning of knitting, or the argument between James and Kiran about feminism in the novel, but most likely – it was my eagerness to see Edward again.

I enjoyed being my own person around him. I loved it. I felt as though I didn't have to change one bit. I could continue reading books and living through them, and I could continue to despise Conrad and Edward would never think less of me. Edward saved me from the olives, and from crashing into the pavement, and most of all he saved me from being alone. I never realized how alone I was till I spent a few moments without him. Everything happened so fast, but we had the look so I knew everything would be okay. Everything had to be okay.

He gave me that look, and that was all I ever needed in my life. He looked at me as though I was the only person in the world and I returned the same look to him.

I smiled to myself as I ended class and asked if there were any questions. No one said anything and I was the first to leave. It took a lot of my energy not to skip to my office, partially because I'd look like a fool and partially because I'd probably break my neck.

I opened my office door and walked in to see Edward sitting with his brows furrowed with a small book in his hands. I cocked my head to side to get a better look.

_Ahhh_; The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery.

I grinned internally. That book was probably the simplest philosophical work of genius ever written. It was a copy I held in the very back drawer in my desk and took out during times of despair.

I closed the door slowly and it clicked shut. Edward's head shot up and his concentrated expression melted into one of compassion.

"Hi there stranger." I greeted him.

"I am amazed at how many notes you fit around the boarder."

"Eh, yea." I mumble.

"I think I've read more notes then actual text." He said extending his hand out to me.

"Is that a bad thing?" I asked hesitantly grabbing his hand.

"Not at all." He said pulling me onto his lap and wrapping his arms around me. "I've missed you." He whispered into the curve of my neck.

"I missed you too." I said leaning my head back, letting it rest on his shoulder.

He kissed my neck and whispered; "How was class?"

I closed my eyes.

"Fun. I'm making them read Gabriel Marquez next. Though I wish I could do Faulkner." I mumbled enjoying his lips on my body too much to care how I sounded.

"You have an obsession with him."

"It's healthy – I swear."

"Mmmm." He kissed right under my ear. "Where did we leave off?" He asked taking my earlobe into his mouth and sucking on it gently.

"Nmph." I muttered incoherently.

"I think you were saying something about the Indus Valley." He whispered tugging my earlobe between his teeth.

I inhaled sharply and turned my body around to face him. The book fell to the floor –and I really didn't care. "And I believe you demanded me to kiss you. Listen to your own advice Edward Masen, and kiss me."

Edward looked at me with a highly amused expression; "Yes ma'am."

Our lips connected and the world around us melted. It disappeared.

This was real; I desperately tried to convince myself.

As he opened his mouth, my tongue darted in – harassing his to a frightening level but Edward didn't mind, he kissed me back just as feverishly as I kissed him.

_This is real. _

"Edward?" I whispered between the kiss.

"Yes kitten?" Edward asked slowly and gently broke the kiss.

I watched his eyes open, revealing my reason for existing.

"How do you feel?" I asked, and then felt beyond idiotic.

"I don't understand?"

"I feel like this is too good to be true. I feel like everything is to perfect. Not only do I love you, but I love this. I love us." My subconscious was speaking at that point, and I was spilling my thoughts out to him without editing any details.

"I love this too, but most of all I love you. And I feel amazing. I feel alive. Bella, I've loved you for over 5 years now." He smiled.

"Well that's not fair." I grumbled pathetically.

"Well, I didn't mean for it to come out like that." Edward said petting my hand gently. "I mean, I've known this was all I wanted."

"This is all I want."

"Good, may I please go back to kissing you?"

"Wait, this is real right?"

"As real as a looking glass."

"Edward! I'm being serious! No Wonderland references!"

"Bella I absolutely adore your mind. I love what a strong woman you are. I love your crazy bipolarness. Hell I even like the fact you hate Joseph Conrad."

"With good reason." I added.

"Bella. I like you. This is real. This is for good." Edward reassured me. "I think we're a tad bit old to be playing games."

"Yet we're making out in school." I grinned.

"We're not that cliché; we haven't done it in the janitor's closet."

"Yet…"

Edward grinned back at me.

"Can we just talk?" I asked.

"Of course." Edward nodded, shifting his weight slightly. "We can do whatever pleases you."

I nodded.

"By the way, I want to have sex in the office one day. So what's your favorite ice cream flavor?"

"Grape, yours?"

"Cookies and cream. What's your favorite fruit?"

"Kiwi, and what's your favorite fruit Bella?"

I loved the way my named rolled off his tongue.

"Grapefruit. What's your favorite cereal?"

And with questions similar to that, we passed the time getting to know the simple quirks of one another till my next class, which I ended up having to wing once more.

I needed to have that conversation with Edward. I knew that I connected with him deeply on a physical level, and I knew he told me all his dark secrets. But he told me his past so impersonally that I needed more of him. I could never ask him to retell his story out loud, but I wanted to know more _about_ him.

I found out he'd never been on a Rollercoaster, and always wanted to ride a Ferris wheel. He's always wanted to hold a snake and make a snowman. He loves to walk around at night and look at the stars. He loves camping and hiking.

I made sure to make a mental note of a road trip. If he was going to be taking me to Australia and Greece, I was going to take him to Six Flags and I'd find the most romantic Ferris Wheel in the world to take him on. And I'd do more for him. Slowly I was learning on things he missed out, or things he wanted to try and I'd make sure I would make them happen. We'd do it together.

_Okay, maybe not the whole holding a snake thing. He could do that on his own. But I'd be there…trying not to faint. _

My Creative Writing class went by smoothly, since I mostly talked about the passages they had previously read and the narrations they've come across. My mind kept trailing off to Edward now and then. It was hard to ignore the fact that everything changed so quickly in my life that I almost didn't feel like I was myself anymore.

So then my lecture took a turn to change and character development, because that was all that was in my mind. Edward was the climax in the story of my life. And I meant that as both literally and as an innuendo.

I checked the time – 5 more minutes.

"Does anyone have any questions?" I asked, looking out into the 100 or so faces staring back at me.

Someone raised their hand. "Yes?" I asked and noticed right away that it was Jacob.

"What type of novel structure would you recommend for stream of consciousness?"

"Well, some of the best stream of consciousness came from modernized books. I'd recommend reading an abundant amount of Virginia Woolf, James Joyce, William Faulkner, Dorothy Richardson, and Jack Kerouac's On the Road, if you want to get an idea of the appropriate novel structure." I answered his question that returned my attention to the class; "But remember, just because it's appropriate and it works doesn't mean it will work for you. Mix it up and discover your own writing style. Homework assignment." I cleared my throat, and continued pulling things out of my ass. "This one's a short one, I'd like the action scene that's due next week written in another structure. Not different perspectives, but different narrative structures of telling the story. So you'll owe me two papers. Anyone have any questions?" I paused. "Alright. Have a wonderful evening I'll see you guys Wednesday."

I watched as the students began to pack and leave. I couldn't just jet out of a lecture hall class – no matter how badly I wanted to.

"Professor Swan?" Jacob's voice disturbed me from my blank gaze.

"Uh, yes?" The kid made me too uncomfortable.

"I was wondering, if maybe you can help me?" He asked coyly.

I couldn't deny a student, even if the student royally creped me out.

"Sure Jacob, how can I help you?"

"I was wondering if you wouldn't mind reading a personal piece I've written."

"What kind of personal piece?" I asked carefully.

"It's kind of sci-fi. It's about shape shifters." Jacob looked slightly embarrassed.

"I'd love to. Do you have it on you right now?"

"Not at the moment, but I'll bring it next class."

"That works." I replied with a smile. "Well class is over, have a good evening Jacob." I said walking up the stairs of the now empty lecture-hall.

Jacob followed behind me like a lost puppy.

I was about to turn to walk down the corridor towards my office when Jacob spoke again.

"Professor Swan?"

I turned on the heels of my feet to face him once more.

"Yes Jacob?" I asked trying to fill my voice with patience.

"I just wanted to tell you that you're a great teacher."

"Awww Jacob, thank you. I really appreciate that."

"I think you do a great job teaching, and I was just reading over some of the comments you made on my paper and I really appreciate what you said. It means a lot."

_Help me! _

"No problem, you have a lot of talent."

He's blushing!

_What do I do!? _

_Make it stop! _

"I think –"

"Professor Swan can I see you for a moment?" Edward's powerful voice cut off Jacob.

I looked over my shoulder at Edward leaning up against the wall with a crooked grin plastered across his beautiful face. I mouthed, "thank you" to him before I turned to face Jacob again.

"Well I have some teacher talk I need to get to. I'll see you Wednesday!" I smiled giving him a soft and slightly awkward pat on the back as I turned and walked towards Edward.

"What is it that you wanted to see me for Professor Masen?" I asked as I exaggerated the sway of my hips.

"I don't like him." Edward replied flatly.

"Hush now. He's my student."

"He was too close for comfort." Edward said taking my hand into his.

Forks didn't have a no dating faculty rule because, well the damn town is so small that it's one of the only ways to even get into a relationship.

"Don't worry Edward; he's too young for my taste." I teased him.

He eyed me for a moment. "So you like older men?" He asked seriously and seemed honestly interested in the answer to the question.

So of course I had to tease him. "Yes, old and decrepit are my favorite. The kinds that walk around with an oxygen tank and have so many wrinkles that you can't tell an arm limb from a leg limb. Oh god, and that old people smell…don't even get me started." I said doing a fake moan.

"You are disturbing." Edward said opening the door to my office.

"And you loooooove me." I said skipping into my office and doing an over exaggerated twirl before landing in my seat.

"Yes, I suppose I should get my head checked." Edward teased back.

I puffed my cheeks and did an "hmph". He stared at me with a huge grin on his face as he sat on the edge of the desk.

"We switched places." I said.

"Yes, I guess we did." Edward mused for a moment before pulling my chair closer to him.

"I think that means I should be undeniably sexy and I need a grin on my face, oh and I need the Edward sex hair!" I said running my fingers through my hair and trying to tease it out to give it a wild just got out of bed look.

"Well that means I have to be a Mark Twain loving, over reactive, witty, drop dead gorgeous Bella." He said with a wide smirk that showed off his pearly whites.

"God, I love you." I said leaning up to kiss him.

"I have so much competition." Edward did a fake sigh as he returned my small kiss.

"Hmmm?"

"Mark Twain, George Orwell, Ralph Ellison, William Shakespeare, Walt Whitman, Leo Tolstoy, Jonathan Swift, Yasunari Kawabata, Gregory Mc–"

"There's no competition." I said cutting him off as he was naming authors that I adored.

He seemed to muse for a moment on that concept.

"I like reality too much." I said wholeheartedly.

Edward leaned in to kiss me again but froze when his phone began to ring. He groaned as he placed a soft kiss on my lips and leaned back to get his phone from his pocket. He flipped it open without checking the Caller I.D.

"Hello." He snapped.

"Umm, yes?" Edward looked into my eyes for a moment and then his gaze dropped to my thighs were my fingers fidgeted with one another.

"Oh." His face fell.

"Is everything okay?" He stood up from the desk and I began to worry.

"Everything okay?" I asked barely above a whisper, but Edward didn't answer me.

"We're on our way." Edward spoke darkly as he shut off his phone and his eyes hesitantly met mine.

"There was a serious accident."

And I thought reality was finally being nice to me…

* * *

**A/N**: Props to _bella-loves-edward_ for the button tidbit trivia! Sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes, I just typed this up this mornin'. And I'd like to say finals are almost over, I just failed my Latin final with flying colors – Ukrainian final is the only one left and I will be updating with more juicy storyness! This story had too many lit references, sorry, but seriously all good reads except Conrad….

Thank you for reading! Thank you for reviewing! Thank you thank you thank you! I love you guys. I really appreciate all the reviews - they totally brighten up my day and add a point to my self esteem. :) Thank you.

Sorry for the cliffhanger...hehe.


	25. The Accident and the Suicide

**A/N: **Bear with me.

* * *

_**Ring Ring – Ring Ring – Ring – **_

"_Hello?" _

"_Bella!" _

"_Hey mom, how are you?" _

"_Great! Great! I have great news for you!" _

"_Great…heh. What is it mom?" _

"_Phil and I are getting married! He proposed an hour ago!" _

"_Wow! Awesome! Congratulations mom!" _

"_We just bought a place in Florida and he got signed onto a team! Oh honey, I'm so happy." _

"_I'm really happy for you! About time! I was wondering when Phil would pop the question." _

"_I have even more great news!" _

"_Great. Hehe." _

"_Well, you know USF is a really good college, and it's right there in Tampa, and the beach is so close…and –"_

"_Mom, I'm really happy here with Charlie." _

"_Oh honey, are you sure?" _

"_Positive mom. I like Forks and I have Alice and Jasper. Besides I just love teaching, and I'm really comfortable here." _

"_Well I do know how much you love those books but you can always teach in Florida, I mean it's so much warmer there and you remember how much you love the heat?"_

_"Mom, I really want to stay in Forks. It's home for me. And besides I'm 24 and I kind of like living on my own." _

_"...I know. I guess your right. I just miss you Bella."  
_

"_Yea mom, uh…I'm – I hope that I didn't upset you." _

"_No no! Honey I only want you to be happy!" _

"_Did you tell Charlie yet?" _

"_Oh no! I'll call him right now to tell him the great news!" _

"_I love you mom." _

"_I love you too Bella. Be good! Oh wait, you're the bridesmaid just FYI!" _

"_Haha, thanks mom." _

_----_

_**Ring Ring – Ring Ring – Ring Ring – Ring Ring – Ring Ring **__** – Ring Ring**_

"_H-hello?" _

"_I'm sorry to disturb you, but may I please speak with Bella Swan." _

"_ahem-mm, thi–this is Bella." _

"_I'm sorry Bella, there's been a terrible accident." _

_---- _

"Bella? Bella? Are you okay?" Edward asked squeezing my hands tightly.

"Edward?" I snapped back to reality for a moment. "Edward! Oh god, is dad okay?"

"Bella? Kitten?" Edward got on his knees in front of my chair. "Sweetie, Emmett just got into a car accident." Edward spoke gently.

_Emmett…_

"What, no. No!" I yelled at Edward as if my words had the power to change what already happened.

"Bella…shhhhh. He's in the hospital right now. Carlisle just called me. He and Esme are on the way right now. Come on, you want to see him don't you?" Edward spoke to me softly with only kindness flowing from his voice.

I gasped, unable to exhale or inhale anymore. My lungs felt as though they were filled with water and I was drowning. My heart went into overdrive, and I could hear the thumping in my ears, banging like a hammer on a nail.

I didn't know what to make of anything.

It was like déjà-vu all over again.

Except this time I had Edward.

Edward leaned into me wrapping his arms gently around my waist and slowly he pulled me to the edge of the chair. He whispered in my ear, "Sweetie, do you want to see Emmett? Keep him company while he gets better like he did for you? Kitten?" His voice seemed distant to me. Like he wasn't even really there, as if everything was a dream – no – a nightmare.

I might have nodded, but I wasn't sure. I felt numb and limp and no part of me felt like it belonged. My body was fake. Edward tenderly lifted me off the chair. "Come on sweetheart. I'll hold you." Edward didn't lie, he held up nearly all my body weight as we walked out the door. I didn't feel my feet touch the ground, and slowly everything around me became hazy with shapes meshed together creating an array of erratic colors that served no purpose but to make me dizzy and nauseous.

I felt as though I was having a bad trip without the use of illegal and dangerous substances. Nothing was in my control and everything was beyond fucked up.

_Emmett? _

_Charlie? _

_Emmett? _

_Charlie? _

"I…ugh…Ed…mmph." I tried to speak but it felt as though my tongue was injected with Novocain.

I couldn't handle it again. I couldn't lose someone else to rejection. I had to save them.

"Shhh, Bella it's okay. We'll just get into the car and drive around for a little bit okay?"

"Emmett?" I whispered.

"He's fine Bella."

"Fi-fi-fine's a-a lie."

"He'll be okay." Edward promised as he opened the door for me and helped me walk outside.

It was raining so hard I could not see anything past a few feet in front of me, or maybe the blur was more from the tears streaming shamelessly down my cheeks. I wasn't sure.

All I knew was that Edward was desperately trying to hold me up and walk at the same time. "Shhh, Bella don't cry." He whispered over the drizzle.

My insides tightened violently and I gasped quickly, not realizing that I hadn't been breathing. Edward swiftly picked me up bridal style and swiftly made his way across the campus to the parking lot.

I squeezed his neck tightly, digging my fingers through his hair and began to cough forcefully. I didn't feel the rain beat down brutally on my body, or the strength of his arms as he squeezed me, or the bouncing motions of him nearly breaking to a run…all I felt was the urge to throw up all my insides and be left completely empty so I wouldn't have to hurt. My heart begin to tug at the stitches I sowed on years ago. It threatened to split open.

_Rejection_.

_Sometimes you love someone so much that rejection becomes too painful to live with. Death becomes the cure to pain. _

My heart felt an intense pressure pushing and pulling at it.

Somehow Edward set me down in the car and buckled my seatbelt for me.

I felt like a lifeless doll. Unable to do anything.

_----_

"_What? Who?" _

"_Charlie Swan was in an accident." _

"_What happened!? Is he okay? Oh my god."…… "It's 2 in the morning! He should be home!" _

"_Ma'am please, someone from the police force will be over shortly." _

"_NO! What happened!? Is he in the hospital? What happened? What kind of accident? A car accident? Did he get shot?! What happened to my dad!?" _

"_I – I'm so sorry Isabella." _

_----_

"Bella." Edward's hand brought me back.

I looked down and had to concentrate to be able to see his fingers tightly wrapped around my cold numb hand. I couldn't feel his hand as he squeezed or the warmth of his touch on my flesh. I looked up into his eyes. His beautiful eyes that screamed and shouted concern at me. His eyes swore protection and loyalty. I couldn't look at them.

My gaze dropped down.

"Edward." I whispered slowly. My throat burned with indescribable poison.

"Shhh kitten. I'm right here. We'll see Emmett soon I promise."

"Edward." I repeated again, barely hearing his voice. I needed to convince myself that Edward was there. Edward was real.

The sounds of police sirens from years ago echoed so loudly in my head that I couldn't tell if I 24 at home waiting for my dad or if I was 27 and in the car with my boyfriend.

I couldn't tell which was real.

"I'm right here. I'll always be here."

I hoped it was Edward's voice that said that.

**----**

_"What happened to my father! Tell me!" _

_"Isabella he was a very very good man. Everyone loved him." _

_"You're not answering the fucking question!" _

**----**

The sirens got louder and louder.

"Bella. I'm going to start the car. We're just going to drive around, okay?"

I closed my eyes.

"We'll be very close to the hospital, okay my love? Whenever you're ready we'll only be a moment away from there."

"Edward." I whispered again but I couldn't hear my own voice.

"Kitten I'm right here." He might have tried to squeezed my hand for some form of comfort but I only felt the panic and worry in his voice. He was unsure of what to do with me.

I was unsure of me.

The blaring sirens evaporated like mist and everything went silent.

Almost everything.

_----_

"_Hello Isabella." _

"_Harry! Where is my father!?" _

"_Isabella please relax." _

"_NO! Where is my father?!" _

"_There was an accident." _

"_Is he okay!? Is my father okay?! I need to see Charlie! Take me to my father right now!" _

"_Isabella please. Calm down! Let go of me."….. "Shhhhh. It's okay honey. I got you. Your dad's car went over the Quileute Bridge. He wasn't able to open the door to get out." _

"_No…no…that didn't happen." _

"_Shhhh, it's okay to cry. You can cry. Charlie loved you very much, I'm sure you miss him." _

"_My dad's not dead!"_

"_Oh honey…" _

"_It was all an accident." _

"_Car's don't just go over bridges Harry! My dad didn't go over a bridge! He doesn't! He isn't! He – He – He! NO!" _

_-----_

"Hmmmm….hmmmm…mmmm…..…mmmm..MMmm….mmmmm………HMMmm…mmmm…….….hmmmm."

"Wh-what is that?" I glanced up at Edward, but all I saw was a blurred figure with my lover's eyes.

"A song I've been composing for you."

"Oh." I said looking down. His eyes were too good for mine.

"Do you like it?"

"Y-y-yes." It was the thing keeping me in the present. I needed him to continue singing for me. Holding me frozen in time.

I tried to squeeze his hand, but my body wouldn't move.

I closed my eyes once more.

He continued humming the song after my request. It was a beautiful song that was perfect in its own way. It was special. Somehow it sounded like everything I've ever heard and nothing at the same time.

The rivers continued to flow from my eyes and damp my cheeks.

I tried to open my eyes but my lids were too heavy.

Edward kept singing and I kept crying.

The rain continued to pound on the car, creating a rhythmic beat that acted as the base for Edward's hum and as a support for my crying.

I took deep controlled breathes, concentrating on the sounds around me.

_The real sounds. _

Slowly my muscles relaxed and I didn't feel as limp. Edward repeated the hum numerous amounts of times before my perpetually crying eyes fluttered open. I felt a warmth on my hand. For that moment things seemed to be getting better.

Only for a moment.

Then through my blurred vision and I saw a sign glowing bright with lights.

**Quileute Bridge Ahead.  
Speed Limit: 30 MPH**

"STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! NO! NO!" I screamed in a voice that didn't seem as though it belonged to me.

I snatched my hand away from Edward and scrunched my body up as far away from him as possible while repeating, "no" over and over through my heaving sobs. My eyes shut out everything. In complete darkness as I screamed for sanctuary.

The car came to a screeching halt and Edward reached towards me but I was scrunched up in a fetal position in my seat and became too far for him to touch.

"Bella. Bella." He repeated my name over and over trying to lean over towards me as I continued to mutter the two letter word; "no".

I heard the car door open and close and then my door opened and Edward's wet arms were wrapped around me tightly cradling me into his chest as I proceeded with my breakdown. He was on his knees in front of the passenger's seat. He let the rain pour down on him and let the cold wind blast at him. Protecting me from everything.

"Hmmmm…..mMMmmm…..mmmm..mmmmmmmm…MMM……mmmmm" He continued to hum my song as I started to hyperventilate.

"Mmmm….mmmm…mmmmmm…….mmmmm……mmmmm…mmmmm….mm." His voice never wavered a beat – he only tightened his grip of me.

I could feel him.

I prayed he'd never let go.

I tried to speak but nothing came out, so I only cried. I could not explain anything yet and Edward was not pressing for any information.

He was just there.

He was existing.

He was there for me.

I cried for not allowing myself to think of the suicide. I cried for my father's broken heart. I cried for Emmett's broken heart. I cried for the pain they left for doing nothing wrong but loving someone else. I cried for the pain I would feel if Edward ever left me.

"Edward." I muttered into his shirt through my reflexive gagging.

"Yes Kitten?" He stopped humming.

"Don't – please, ple-please. Don't leave me, please. Do-Don't ever leave me." I didn't care that 3 days into my relationship I was already clinging onto him as though he was the very reason for living.

I knew I was strong. I knew I was my own person. I knew I was a very capable woman in the 21st century. I knew all that. And I knew that love would bring me to my knees and make me into nothing. I would now be nothing without Edward.

Nothing.

"Bella I swear I won't ever leave you. I never want you to leave me either." Edward was heartbreaking as his voice cracked at the end. He did not sound as though he was trying to convince me, but as though he was telling me the most obvious truth the world had to offer.

My breathing was inconsistent but it became more controllable as my sobs weakened.

"I won't. I promise. I promise. I'll nev-never leave." With one deep breath I spoke the words that allowed him to kill me, to become my murder. "I love you."

"I love you too." He replied without hesitation.

"My dad – Charlie, he loved mom."

I began to sob again and Edward waited till I was able to speak again.

"They div-divorced but Charlie was never over it. He lo-loved her. Re-really really loved her. He knew he loved her, and worse. Oh my god. So much worse, she didn't love him back. Rosalie doesn't love him! Rosalie doesn't love him. He loves her so much. He'd do anything for her. He bought a house for her. Everything for her. She doesn't love him. He tried…he tried…So hard! Edward! So-so-hard." My voice cracked.

I began to sob again.

"He's dead Edward! He's dead!" I shouted till my lungs gave out and my throat burned with an intense fire.

"Emmett's not dead." Edward spoke as if he was moments away from crying with me. I was sharing my pain with him. "He's not dead. It was an accident."

"He drove off the bridge. He drove off the bridge." I repeated.

"Emmett was hit by a drunk driver. He's going to be okay."

"He died for her. He died because she didn't love him. He can't live without her love."

"It's okay honey. It's going to be okay. I'll love you forever. For all eternity."

I tried hard to control myself. To breathe properly, to stop my sobs, to calm my voice, but I couldn't. So I continued sobbing and the rain continued to cry with me.

Edward was caught in the middle of it all.

"For all eternity, my Bella." Edward repeated.

"And a day." I inhaled deeply and exhaled sharply, but again I began to hyperventilate.

"Kitten, Emmett's not dead. You'll see him soon. He'll be happy to see you." Edward began to rock me back and forth.

Then with the force of a meteorite, it hit me.

_See him? _

_I'm going to see him? _

_I can't see dad. _

_Emmett...  
_

_Emmett's not dead. _

Somehow finally what Edward was saying sunk in, but my childish cries wouldn't subside.

"Emmett's – Emmett's okay?" I asked trying to look up at Edward, but he had my head pressed tightly against his chest and I could only see his Adam's apple.

"Yes, he's in surgery right now. He'll be okay. We'll make him okay, alright my love?"

We stayed silent, still gripping each other madly, for an incomprehensible amount of time. Edward kissed the top of my head over and over as he gently cradled me like an infant. My heart continued to race, my breathing continued to rage, and my eyes continued to tear.

Edward never let go.

"My dad committed suicide." I whispered.

He didn't respond. He only remained still with me. Ready to do whatever I needed him to do.

"I loved my dad." I squeezed my eyes shut and took a deep breath. "I wrote for h-him, that's the only way we un-un-understood each other. I ca-can't write anymore. I can't do anything anymore! I miss him! I miss him. I do."

"He loved you too Bella. I'm sure he's watching over you."

"He loved mom more. He loved her so much." I inhaled slowly. "He couldn't handle her getting remarried. It was rejection."

"I will never reject you." Edward reassured me.

"And I'll never reject you either." I said trying to somehow bring him closer to me. I heard his heartbeat thumb rapidly against my ear, it was beating at the same pace as mine.

We were one.

"Even if I insult Mark Twain." Edward teased.

"Even if you insult Mark Twain." I whispered back letting a small chuckle escape my lips.

_Even if you insult Mark Twain, I'd never reject you._

_I'd never leave you. _

_I love you. _

"Emmett's okay Bella. He'll be good as new." Edward promised me.

"You make so many promises."

"And I plan to keep every single one of them."

"I love you Edward. And it's not enough. I love you isn't enough. It's more than that. I feel something more than love to you. God. Don't reject me Edward, please don't. Please."

"I won't." He said simply. "And you won't reject me. Those are facts Bella." He sounded so confident I earnestly wished I could believe him.

"Sing it again." I pleaded and Edward obliged.

I listened to his humming, the beating of his heart, and the pouring of the rain. It sang the song of the moment perfectly.

And for the first time in my life; I prayed.

I prayed for my father.

I prayed that if there was an afterlife that he lived a good one.

I prayed if there was a heaven he was there.

I prayed if I had a guardian angel that it was him.

I prayed for Emmett; for him to be alive and for him to get better.

I prayed for Emmett and Rosalie's happiness,

and Alice and Jasper's loyalty,

and Esme and Carlisle's perseverance.

Most of all, I thanked whoever there was to thank for the fact that I had Edward.

* * *

**A/N:** Received a wonderful Beta (_twilightluver11_), so hopefully less mistakes. :)

Thank you for reading. Thank you for reviewing. I love you like crazy. Please don't question why Edward was called first, that will be explained in later chapters. I love you guys so much. Let me know what you thought of this chapter.

By the way; To my reviewers; you are my perfect brand of heroin. Just so you know. :)


	26. The Perfect Proposal

Edward held me until I came halfway to my senses and begged him to get in the car and turn on the heater. He was soaked from head to toe, and I could feel his violent shivers through his thin shirt. With some persuasion and reassurance, Edward eventually listened to me.

We remained in the car without driving for hours. We held each other hands and I leaned over till I could rest my head on his shoulder.

We talked.

I told him about my father, from his inability to cook to his love of the police force. I told him how he got me my first car, and how every time it snowed he would chain my tires up in the middle of the night.

"I think he'd like you." I whispered.

"I hope he would." Edward smiled warmly at me. "Charlie sounds like an amazing man."

"He really was. Heh, he was just a bit overprotective of me. I remember this one time I fell down the stairs and out a window."

"You what?" Edward asked surprised.

"I'm clumsy. I tripped and Charlie wouldn't let me go outside alone for half a year after that."

"I'd imagine."

Edward listened to everything I said and asked an abundance of questions about my father. He was really interested, and I was surprised at how easy it was to tell him about Charlie. It eased me in a way that I felt as though talking about my father was keeping him alive. At least alive in my heart and that was exactly what I needed.

"Do you think your dad would have approved of me?" I asked tentatively.

"Oh Bella, I think my whole family would have loved and adored you." Edward kissed my forehead.

"What was your dad like?"

"Um, well he was a businessman, so everything was a business to him. A deal, a transaction, that sort of thing. But he was a good man if you looked past that."

"I don't know much about business." I mused for a moment.

"Well that pretty much all he used to talk about, the economy, the stock market. But he knew and understood that not everyone was interested in that junk."

"What about your mom?"

"Mum was very motherly. She was calm most of the time and never freaked out about anything. Oh, and she loved music. There was one year where she only played Debussy, and then she went through a 3 year Mozart obsession."

"Hehe, I liked the Magic Flute."

"She did too." Edward smiled again and I nuzzled myself closer to him.

"I love you Edward Masen."

"I love you Bella Swan."

"I'll be okay." I told Edward.

"Everything will be okay." He replied reassuringly.

"I'm sorry…for earlier. It was just…hard." I said taking a deep breathe and let my sore eyes travel to the bridge sign. I exhaled slowly.

"Don't. Ever. Apologize." Edward's voice was deep and husky. "Never apologize for feeling. Ever."

"I love you." I repeated as I started playing with his fingers.

"I love you too."

I couldn't get enough of saying and hearing those three words.

"Emmett got rejected by Rosalie." I blurted out.

"He told me something of the sort."

"You spoke to him?"

"On a couple occasions."

"Is that why you got called?"

"I think it's because Emmett's my emergency contact and I'm his."

"Why not me?"

Edward kissed the top of my head. "Because we weren't together when Emmett and I were filling out our University Worker's Forms."

"Make me your emergency contact."

"I will." Edward rested his head upon mine for a moment. "You know the two situations are not the same."

"I hope they aren't."I whispered.

"They aren't." Edward rubbed his thumb across my fingers. "They aren't." He repeated.

"Do you think Rosalie will be there?"

Edward sighed. "I hope she will."

"Me too."

A few moments of silence passed between us.

"Are you ready to go to the hospital sweetie?"

I stiffened slightly and squeezed Edward's hand as I replied; "I'm scared to see Emmett. I'm scared of making it all real. I don't want it to be real. I keep thinking as long as we stay here, it keeps everything else unreal, but I know that's not true."

"I'll be right there the whole time."

"How bad is he?"

"I don't know. When Carlisle called me; he said they just got him into surgery."

"Surgery means bad right?" My voice trembled as I spoke.

"No, it means fixable."

"So Emmett's all fixed?"

"I don't know."

"We need to see him." I demanded.

"Alright. I'm going to drive there, okay?"

"Okay."

"Across the bridge, will you be okay? I can take the long way around through La Plush if you want."

_La Plush would take an hour…_

"No, bridge is fine."

Edward squeezed my hand as he turned on the car without letting go of my hand and placed his other hand lazily on the steering wheel.

"Tell me if you want me to stop."

"Okay."

For the first time in 3 years, I was about to drive over the bridge where my father died.

I couldn't make myself look out the window as he drove, so I stared at Edward's shoulder.

"I remember there was this one time my mother got into painting. I still have her favorite." Edward said the moment I felt us cross the bump to enter the road of the bridge.

"What was your favorite painting of?" I asked trying to remain calm.

"She said it was a picture of the place where my father proposed to her."

"Where did he propose?"

"Well, he proposed twice."

"She rejected him the first time?"

"Heh, umm…here's the story my mum worked as a waitress in a diner back in New Jersey. One day my dad came in with some friends and fell head over heels for her. He came back to the diner every morning just to share a small conversation with her."

"That's so sweet."

"My mother only worked there for the summer. So when fall semester started she quit."

"Did your father know?"

"Nope. He eventually found out from one of the other waitresses. So he waited a year till the following summer and started coming in again just to see her."

"Did he see anyone else?"

"No, he said she was the woman of his dreams the moment she poured his coffee."

"Hah, what happened then?"

"The next time he saw her, he asked her out on a date."

"What did she say?"

"She asked him why, and he said because one day he'd marry her. She laughed at him, and he asked her again, and she said as long as he waits for the third date to propose."

"When did he propose?"

"On the third date."

"Oh my god! What did she say?"

"No." Edward chuckled. "She told him to ask when all the stars fell from the sky."

"That's mean."

"He proposed to her during the next Leonid storm."

"Leonid storm?"

"It's a meteor shower."

"Oh, wow that's so…wow...That's perfect."

"How did your dad propose to your mom?" Edward asked curiously after I recovered from his romantic story.

"Well they were high school sweethearts; the way he proposed to her was really cliché."

"During graduation?"

"Yeah."

"By the way love, want to get out?"

"Out?" I looked around and noticed we were parked in front of the 4 story hospital building. The bright lights illuminated onto the car and caused the pouring rain to look like transparent rocks falling from the sky.

_I crossed the bridge. _

_I did it. _

I small smile crept across my face.

_I love you daddy. _

"We're parked in the handicapped spot." I noted as Edward took the keys out of the ignition.

"Oh. That's right." Edward reached over towards the compartment in front of me and popped it open. He shuffled his hand around and got out 4 mutli-colored signs.

"What are those?"

Edward hooked a blue handicap sign over the front mirror of the car. "So we can legally park here."

"But that's illegal!" I said snatching the other signs in Edward's hand.

"Firefighter? Police officer? Are you hiding something from me!?"

"Haha, no Emmett just had extras."

"I'm going to kick his butt."

"Let's go then?"

I stared at the firefighter one for a moment longer, "You'd look sexy as a firefighter."

Edward chuckled. "I'll keep that in mind. Are you ready?"

_Daddy, please watch over Emmett…_

"Okay." I placed the signs back into the compartment and by the time I took off my seatbelt Edward was holding my door open for me. The rain didn't light up at all; it was still pouring as though the skies aimed to drown the earth.

I immediately shivered from the cold. Edward had the heater blasting inside the car and the temperature outside suddenly felt as though it was below zero. The diamond sized droplets of melted ice falling on me were no help.

"Oh my god! Edward you're still wet!" I shrieked as I stepped outside the car.

"Come on, before you catch a cold." Edward closed the door and grabbed my hand as we rushed towards the hospital entrance.

The doors automatically opened as we walked in. The hospital walls were painted a dull orange, with proactive health posters on every wall. The chairs were an ugly barf green and were lined up in 4 aisle, facing each reception desk was in the far back wall, surrounded by nurses doing paper work and civilians filling out forms.

Right away, my eyes spotted Esme, sitting in a wheelchair in the last aisle of chairs by the wall, holding Jasper's hand.

"Esme!" I said rushing towards her with Edward by my side.

Our shoes squeaked across the floor as we walked, and Esme immediately noticed us. There were only a handful of people sitting in the waiting room and all their attention was focused upon us.

"Oh, dears we were so worried about you." Esme said as we approached her. "This weather is just terrible. Goodness! Edward you're soaked to the bone!"

"I'm alright." Edward smiled his dazzling smile at Esme. I was grateful the heaters were on full blast here as well.

I bent down to give Esme a hug. I wished I could squeeze her with all my strength but she still looked incredibly fragile and I had to restrain myself.

"How's Emmett?" I asked as Jasper and Edward shook hands.

"He should be done with surgery soon."

"What? How long was it supposed to go?" I knew Edward and I were held up because of my breakdown for a long time.

"I was told anywhere from 2 to 6 hours. It's been about 5 or so hours now."

_Surgery should never take that long…_

"Oh my god, will he be okay? Where's Carlisle?"

"Carlisle was able to go to the surgery as an observer, and he's trying to get approval to take over as Emmett's doctor after."

"God." I said running my fingers through my hair. "This is so messed up."

"Sit, sit, both of you, please sit." Esme begged us and we sat in the aisle across from them.

"What are you doing here Jasper?" I asked trying not to sound bitter.

"I ran into Esme here. I grabbed some poisonous sumac without gloves by accident. Bad allergic reaction and I needed to get a shot."

"Why do you have sumac?"

"My sister left them here by accident."

"I thought your sister was in France?"

"She –"

"Carlisle!" Esme cried when a very distressed looking Carlisle approached us.

He looked beaten and worn out. I knew dealing with Esme's surgery and recovery had done a number on his wellbeing, and now this…I couldn't help but feel sorry for him. At the same time, I was immensely grateful for him as well. Carlisle was a very hard working and caring doctor that always did his best for his patients.

"Esme, sweetie, stay in the chair." He said as his wife tried to get up.

"Carlisle I don't need this ridiculous vehicle to transport me around when I have two perfectly good legs." Esme let out a sharp exhale as she asked, "How is Emmett?"

Carlisle let Esme's complaint slide as he took a deep breath and opened the chart he was holding. "Surgery went well. Doctor Massimo is a very talented surgeon."

"What happened to Emmett?"

"He had 3 broken ribs, a broken leg, fractured elbow, a collapsed lung, and his pancreas exploded under the impact." He dictated from the chart and then closed it again.

"Oh my god." Esme whispered and I gasped in utter shock. Edward wrapped his arms around me and whispered, "Everything will be okay".

"We took care of the lung and pancreas and set all his broken bones in casts. He has a total of 59 stitches. He's in serious but stable condition at the moment."

"What do you mean serious but stable? That's an oxymoron. You can't be serious but stable. Is he more serious or more stable?" I panicked.

Edward squeezed me.

"When can we see him?" Edward asked Carlisle.

"He's in induced coma at the moment, if he remains stable in the next 4 hours we'll move him out of the ICU."

"Induced coma!? Is he going to wake up?" I never heard of such a thing as induced coma.

"It's not actually a coma. They sedate you to the point to where your body just basically functions on its own with no cognitive responses. It's a bit like sleeping." Edward answered me and I watched Carlisle nod in agreement.

"We'll take him off the sedatives in a few days. We have to make sure the results of the surgery were successful." Carlisle quickly added; "I think everything went very well and he'll probably be awake in, at most, 3 days."

"Emmett will be okay. He's a strong boy." Esme said softly.

"Yes, I think he will be okay." Carlisle said tapping the chart on his knee. "If you're hungry you guys should go to the cafeteria, I'll call Esme when Emmett can have visitors."

"Oh Carlisle, honey, can you find Edward something to change into, he's soaking wet and I don't want him to catch a cold."

Esme was always such a mother to everyone.

"Alright." Carlisle said giving Esme an endearing smile. "Edward come with me; let's see if we can steal a pair of scrubs for you."

"Bella, want to come?" Edward whispered in my ear.

"No, I'll be okay here." I replied.

"Thank you Dr. Cullen." Edward said letting go of my body and walking with Carlisle.

I sat back down and took in a deep breath.

"Emmett will be okay." Esme told me. "Carlisle will make sure of it."

I smiled weakly at her.

"Do any of you ladies want anything to eat or drink?" Jasper asked cautiously.

"I'm a bit famished, and could use some caffeine. I'm not young like you two."

"What time is it?" I asked.

Esme checked her watch, "2:30" she replied.

Jasper got up and went behind Esme to push her wheelchair.

"Bella?" Jasper asked me.

"I'll wait for Edward. We'll join you."

"Alright."

I watched them as they asked a nurse in floral patterned scrubs for directions.

I buried my face in my hands and bent over.

_Broken ribs…_

_Broken leg…_

_Collapsed lung…_

_COLLAPSED LUNG! _

_Oh god…_

_Emmett… _

"Paging Doctor Massimo. Paging Doctor Massimo."

I tried to keep my emotions in check and my mind straight. Emmett was alive, that was the most important thing. Surgery fixed him. He would be okay. Edward said so.

"Paging Doctor Cullen. Paging Doctor Cullen."

I straightened my body and looked up. I wiped my eyes with the back of my sleeve and checked out everyone in the waiting room. There was no beautiful distressed blonde in sight.

Rosalie wasn't there.

I hated her for what she was doing to Emmett.

"Bella! Bella!" A squeaky voice called me. I turned my head around to see a very distressed Alice rushing towards me.

In her pajamas.

Pink flamingo pajamas.

"Alice?"

She gripped me as tightly as her tiny arms would allow her. "Are you okay?" She asked looking up at my face.

"I'm okay, what are you doing here?" I asked trying to get a grip on reality.

"Is Emmett okay?"

"He just got out of surgery they have him in the Intensive Care Unit right now. I thought you weren't coming back till tomorrow?"

"I called Esme to girl talk with her and find out her favorite type of houses, you know for her island, and when she picked up she told me that she was in the car with Carlisle to the hospital. Victoria lent me her plane and I came as soon as I could." Alice said giving me another hug.

"Thank you so much for coming." I returned her hug.

"He'll be okay. I mean he has to be okay if Carlisle is his doctor." Alice reassured me.

I could only imagine how blood shot my eyes were and how pale my face was for everyone to continually reassure me that Emmett would be okay.

I smiled.

"Where is Esme?" Alice asked taking the seat Edward sat on. She quickly bounced back on her feet. "Wet!" She squealed and moved away.

I gave a soft chuckle. "Yea Edward sat there. He got soaked."

Alice smiled and took the other seat beside to me. "Where is he? And Esme?"

"Edward went to change. Esme is downstairs in the cafeteria with…um…Jasper."

"Why is Jasper here?"

"Hey Alice." Edward said strolling in wearing navy blue scrubs.

In which, by the way, he looked absolutely divine in.

"Why hello Dr. Masen." Alice said stretching her hand out towards him.

"No flirting with my man." I teased Alice as Edward kissed the top of her hand and he bowed down, completely overacting his movements.

Edward let go of Alice's hand and squatted beside me, placing his head between my knees and put his arm across my thigh rubbing it gently. He looked up at me from his long lashes, and asked; "How are you doing my love?"

I ran my fingers through his messy constant sex hair.

"I missed you." I whispered under my breath.

He smirked sheepishly. "I love you."

"I love you too."

He reached for my hand and we interlocked our fingers.

I tugged on his hair and he squeezed my hand.

"Why did Carlisle get called on the speakerphone thing?"

"I don't know." Edward sighed and turned his head to the side, still keeping his chin on my knee. "So you really did demolish Bella's place?"

"I had the people make boxes of the important stuff and put it into storage."

"Furniture?" I asked as I continued to play with Edward's hair.

"Donated."

"T.V?"

"Donated, that thing's ancient."

"You bought it for me last year!"

"There are better ones out now!"

"God, Alice."

"You can blame Emmett too!"

"What?"

"Emmett agreed that the place needed a renovation and helped set things up."

"I'm so going to put him back in the hospital when he gets out."

Edward chuckled and I pulled his hair threateningly till he winced.

"So kinky." Edward muttered sarcastically, receiving another not so playful tug.

"What about my books?" I asked Alice.

"Books, papers, any smarty-pants stuff have been boxed up. So have my clothes. I'll send them to Edward's next week."

"I don't think that's very nice of you Alice."

"Well, now you'll think twice before not telling me something!" She pouted crossing her arms.

"In my opinion, I think it's wonderful." Edward said kissing my thigh.

"I think it…um..wonderful kind of too…but I mean…that was my apartment." I said trying to sound diplomatic.

"No worries, I'm going to fix it up and when it's all fixed up you two can stay there during the weekdays and at Edward's during the weekends!"

_That doesn't sound like such a bad idea…_

"Oh, by the way…ahem Edward." She said stretching her hand out at him; palm facing the ceiling.

"Oh." Edward groaned as he stood up and reached into his pocket.

I watched him curiously.

He placed a key in her hand.

"What's that for?" I asked.

"The key to the house." Edward replied disheartened.

"What?! Why?!"

"I made Edward promise to let me keep you fashionably acceptable, and of course I needed to make sure the living conditions he is providing are suitable AND I'm your best friend."

"Alice." I hissed at her as I grabbed Edward's hands and pulled him back down. He squatted once more and rested his head on my lap to allow me to continue playing with his hair. "I'm not going to forgive you for that." I whispered leaning towards him.

"Punish me for it later." He mumbled resting the left side of his face on my lap.

Suddenly Alice gasped; I looked up and followed her gaze.

Jasper…

He was coming from the cafeteria, pushing Esme's wheelchair towards us. Jasper's eyes locked on Alice's.

I froze.

"What's wrong?" Edward asked glancing up at Jasper and Esme.

_What do I do?_

"Alice." Jasper said almost sounding confused, and probably slightly stunned by her choice of wardrobe.

"Jasper." Alice's voice sounded shaky and uneasy. She didn't have enough time to prepare herself to meet with him.

"Oh, Alice it is so good to see you." Esme cut after she took a sip out of her plastic cup.

"Esme, are you alright?" Alice asked getting up from her seat. Edward also stood up to give room in the aisle to allow Esme to pass.

"Oh you know Carlisle; overprotective, and will use any excuse to keep me resting." Esme replied as Alice leaned in to give her a hug.

Jasper stared at her with such an expression that was drowning with emotions. I didn't know how he felt, but I knew he was feeling too much all at once.

Jasper parked Esme in her previous place, and the moment Jasper sat down Alice spoke, "I'm going to go get some fresh air."

"It's pouring." Edward replied staring at her with a raised eyebrow.

"I'll stay under the entrance hood." She promised.

"I'll go with you." I said standing up, and Alice only nodded slightly. "We'll be back soon." I told Edward as I turned to follow Alice out.

Alice stood outside, with her arms crossed across her chest, watching the rain blanket the scenery around us.

"Cute P.J's." I said standing beside her.

"Jasper got them for me last year." She said sighing out warm fog into the cold night.

"Have you spoken to him?" I asked stepping closer to her.

"No, he's called over a thousand times since I left. But I just couldn't stay. He smelled so wrong. How can I be okay coming home to a man that smells like a woman?"

_Smells like a woman? _

Then everything clicked in my head.

_Oh my god! _

"Alice!" I nearly squeaked it out, but my voice was overpowered by a masculine shout of; "Alice!!" by Jasper.

We both turned around to see him rushing towards us. I could tell that he was trying to restrain himself from breaking into a run.

"Alice, Alice, please talk to me." Jasper begged stepping between us.

"Jasper…" Alice looked away.

"Alice please talk to me." Jasper repeated himself.

"I don't want to break up with you…"

I took a step back. I was about to interrupt Alice to try to explain but Jasper spoke frantically.

"What? Alice? Don't! Alice...What happened?"

"But it's not fair." Alice continued. I could hear her voice shaking with each word she didn't want to say.

"Alice what are you talking about?" Jasper was beyond confused.

I wished I could speak but my voice was caught in my throat. I stood there frozen, wishing I could help Jasper and also wishing I wasn't there. I felt completely out of place. I didn't belong there.

"You coming home late all the time!"

"I can explain that."

"You smelling like a cheap whore."

"I can explain that too."

"Really, can you explain you and the black haired woman!?!" Alice squealed with tears threatening to burst out of her eyes.

"What? You saw Tanya?" Jasper asked surprised.

_I knew it…_

"Oh my god! You're having an affair with your sister!?!" Alice screamed.

"What!? Alice! Dear god woman! I am not having an affair with my sister!"

"Then what is she doing in America!? She hates America! She's a god damn Frenchie!"

"Alice calm down." Jasper said putting his hands on Alice's tiny shoulders. "You realize you're trying to rationalize me having an affair with my sister?"

"Why is she here then?" Alice pouted as tears streamed freely down her cheeks, messing up her mascara and eyeliner.

"Because I called her here. I needed her help, you remember her don't you?"

"All I remember about her is that she insulted my fashion line and was an incredible first class bitch."

"Well she owns a high class perfume store, and had connections here."

"So?"

"Alice can you just take that explanation right now." Jasper begged her.

"What?! What kind of explanation is that?!"

"It's the explination that works for now."

"What!? It does not work! It does not work for me! Jasper! Jasper it does not work for me!"

"This isn't the right time."

"Why the fuck-tarts not!?" Alice shouted trying to move away from Jasper but his grip on her wouldn't allow it.

"Because we're in a fucking hospital! I'm not going to propose to you in a fucking hospital Alice!" Jasper snapped.

My jaw dropped.

I didn't see that coming.

"What?!"

"Oh god, Alice…" Jasper sighed deeply as he let go of her but she didn't move away.

"What makes you think I'll even say yes to YOU?" Alice tried to sound bitter but her voice gave way her real emotions too easily.

Jasper dropped down to one knee, becoming eye level with her.

"Alice, you insane, crazy, wonderful, psychopathic, beautiful, mutli-personality disordered, emotionally unstable, goodhearted, illogical, caring, irrational, amazing woman of my dreams, will you marry me?" Jasper said as he took out something from his pocket.

It was a bottle of perfume. It was the size of his palm and shaped like a diamond. The cap of the bottle was shaped like a ring.

I remembered how Alice began to hate rings after her first failed engagements and swore that she never wanted to receive another ring as long as she lived.

Alice raised an eyebrow as she pressed her lips in a tight line.

"God Alice, do you have to be so difficult?" Jasper said rhetorically as he popped the top opened and sprayed it near her.

Alice inhaled and her eyes lit up.

"This is…this is…oh my god. Flora Gardens!?"

"Yes, Tanya helped me get together all the plants that were on display to try to make a perfume from the scent."

The floral smell finally traveled to me; it made me think of a tropical rainforest in far away exotic lands.

"From the first time we met." Alice realized.

"From the first time I fell in love with you."

Alice took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "Frangipanis, hedychiums, mmmmm…Osmathus….Oh god! Jasper! Lily of the Valley!"

"And Night blooming jasmine."

"It smells so good."

"It took forever to get it right, and I had no idea so many exotic plants were poisonous. Can you believe I thought Rafflesia Arnoldii was one of the plants we smelled?"

"That plant smells like a corpse when it blooms."

"Worse…much worse." I saw Jasper shiver from disgust at a recent memory.

"Jasper, why didn't you tell me!?" Alice complained as she stepped closer to him.

"Because you've known every present I wanted to get you since we started going out. I've never gotten a chance to surprise you."

"So you make me think you're cheating on me!"

"You came to that conclusion yourself princess. I'd never ever, not in a billion years, consider even thinking about another woman remotely to one millionth of the way I think about you. Now can you just say yes?"

"Yes!" Alice squealed as she grabbed the bottle and sat on his extended knee.

She sprayed it in front of herself and took a deep breath of her present. "Jasper, you ever even think about surprising me again, I'll kill you."

"Okay pixie." Jasper said leaning his head on her shoulder.

"OH! I have to tell Bella." Alice shot up and turned around to look at me.

"I'M ENGAGED!" She squealed and I didn't even have the heart to tell her that her face looked like a raccoon as she turned back around and plopped her butt onto Jasper's knee again. "This was a terrible time to propose by the way." She said spraying the perfume on Jasper and sniffing him.

"You made me do it."

"Did not."

"You left, to wherever the hell you left to, without a note." Jasper complained.

"No more surprises from you, deal? I like knowing what you get me ahead of time."

"You're so strange." Jasper sighed happily.

"And you love me." Alice said spraying her perfume in front of her again.

"Are you happy with your engagement present?"

"Mmmm hmmm." She nodded placing a kiss on Jasper's cheek, nose, and then moved to kiss his lips. Their kiss quickly turned passionate and I forced myself to move back into the hospital. I had the largest smile on my face.

My best friend just got engaged.

I desperately wanted to believe that my father was watching out for me and my friends...

* * *

**A/N:** I love you, thank you for reading, and thank you to those who review, favorite, and/or alert this story. I appreciate and love you guys so much. I wish I could tell you how amazing it feels to receive reviews with someone's opinions, suggestions, compliments...it's the biggest honor ever. Okay total sap moment over.

I'll try to get the next chapter out by the weekend. I just got back home to NYC and I've missed it too much to actually stay home! Have a wonderful week everyone. Stay healthy and happy.


	27. I'll take care of you

**A/N**: I'm sorry for disappointing a lot of people because of lack of updates. My mum passed away and things have just been…well…anyway it's been hard writing because my mum used to read this story and comment on every chapter so...ugh... Please just don't feel sorry for me and I hope you can continue reading and enjoying my story. Thank you.

* * *

For hours we sat in the waiting room without any information or contact with any reliable doctors that knew anything about Emmett's condition. The waiting room slowly weaned down to just us with everyone else's problem hopefully taken care of. Light was shinning in through the glass windows and all that was missing was a roster to sing us good morning.

Alice had fallen asleep on Jasper's shoulder while clenching her engagement present close to her chest and Esme had fallen asleep long before Alice's first yawn. Jasper's head did the repeated bobbing motion of someone trying to stay awake but failing perpetually. It seemed as though only Edward and I were able to stay awake.

Edward's thumb made circles on my hand and brought me out of my miniature trance. I turned to look at him.

"I'll go ask if there's any news yet." He whispered in my ear before he stood up.

He had approached the front desk at least five times throughout the night, and finally before Edward could take another step, Carlisle appeared from around the corner – looking overworked and tired but not hopeless.

_That means Emmett's okay! _

I quickly jumped to my feet to meet Carlisle. Edward followed suit and Jasper tilted his head towards us, his eye lids drooped down and he looked as though he was fighting hard to stay away. He seemed unwilling to move for fear of waking Alice up and I couldn't help of being grateful for them being so perfect for one another.

"How is he?" I asked so impatiently that the words came out slurred together.

"We needed to perform surgery again. He had a lot of internal bleeding."

"Is he okay?" Edward asked while my eyes widened and jaw dropped in disbelief.

_How much surgery can someone handle? _

"He should be okay. You can see him if you like. You won't be able to go in for a few more days and we don't plan to take him out of coma for at least another week."

"Do you want to see him darling?" Edward asked me softly squeezing my arms.

I gave a pathetic nod and Carlisle motioned us to follow him. I looked back to see Jasper twirled his hand for us to go. Carlisle led us through white swinging doors and down a hall that had yellow and orange tape running parallel to one another across the floor's blue tiles. I didn't look through the glass windows on every side of the wall or try to peek into any other rooms – I could only stare at the heels of Carlisle's black leather shoes while Edward squeezed my hand tightly.

I didn't know what to think. I didn't have any assumptions on how he would look. I had never visited anyone in the hospital before. I was usually the one in the bed being hooked up to various monitors with people looking at me with worried expressions.

The floor turned black and the yellow tape went right and an orange tape continued to the left. Carlisle made a left. He finally stopped and pointed at a glass window on our right. Edward remained silent as he put his arm around my waist and tugged me closer to him. I felt like a coward as I reluctantly had to force myself to lift my eyes to look through the glass.

_Not real…_

It didn't seem real at all. My first wish was for Emmett to jump out of his half body cast like a stripper popping out of a cake and scream "Surprise".

Emmett was not supposed to look so fragile and small. It seemed wrong.

Everything through that window looked wrong.

_Wrong and unreal. _

From where I stood, Emmett looked like a little five year old boy who got beaten up really badly by some demented older bully and then tied onto a train track like in those old western movies. But Emmett wasn't five and we weren't in the cowboy days.

_It's real…_

Emmett looked helpless lying there with two swollen black eyes that looked as though they would never open again. He had a white bandage tied numerous times around his forehead and I could see red stains on his bandages that were secured on his neck. He looked like a war veteran. Both his arms and legs were in plaster white castes and looked like body parts from the Pills Berry Dough Boy…not my Emmett. My Emmett had strong powerful tanned arms and legs that were always exposed since the idiot doesn't know how to dress properly for the weather.

There were multi-colored tubes and wires connected all over his body that were hooked up to numerous machines.

I lifted my hand and placed it on the window. I wished I could have comforted him or held his hand. I wished I could have told him that I loved him like a brother and everything would be okay.

But I didn't even believe everything would be okay.

Carlisle spoke in a soothing voice as though he read my thoughts. "He'll be okay. We just need to keep him asleep until his body recovers some more."

"He looks so small." I crooked out.

"He'll be okay." Edward reassured me.

"Edward's right. And you know Emmett. He's as strong as an ox."

"As strong as a bear." I corrected Carlisle.

But then and there, through the window…he was a little cub. A little injured cub that needed protection and help. He needed to be taken care of.

He tried so hard to take care of Rosalie…and she left him. Who would take care of him now?

My hand dropped from the cold heartless window.

_I'll take care of you. _

"You two should probably go home and get some rest. I'll call you when he'll be stable enough to have visitors." Carlisle said as he started to walk back.

We followed him silently and slowly. The image of little Emmett became forever embedded in my memory. Emmett was so vulnerable and...just not Emmett.

When we walked back to the waiting room, everyone was awake and staring at us for information. Jasper stood up slowly and Alice hopped up immediately when her eyes met mine.

"Is he okay?" Alice asked.

"He's doing well. He'll be awake in about a week." Edward answered as Carlisle walked past us towards Esme.

"Esme, my butterfly, why don't you go home and get some rest?"

Jasper chimed in; "Alice and I have to get going right now too. We can drive Esme home, or she can stay with us."

"I'd like that deary." Esme replied smiling as she tugged Carlisle by the collar so he'd bend over to kiss her. "Be home soon?" Esme asked Carlisle.

I turned to Edward. "I don't want to go home." I wasn't sure which home I was talking about, but I didn't feel right leaving the hospital.

"Then we won't go." Edward smiled at me without any sign of disagreement or resentment.

"I don't mind filling in for you." Jasper said leaning towards us.

"Thanks Jaspy. That would be great. I really owe you." I said sincerely and hoped he heard the apology in my voice.

"Remember how great I am next time the little Pixie starts believing in Peter Pan fairy tales."

"I think you should go home Bella. You too Edward." Carlisle said as he moved Esme's wheelchair out of the corner.

"I really don't want to." I replied.

"I'll stop by after work with a change of clothes for both of you." Alice said grabbing Jasper's arm as he took the handles of the wheelchair from Carlisle.

"Thanks Alice." I smiled weakly in appreciation.

We said our goodbyes to Alice, Jasper, and Esme and watched them leave into the puddle filled streets.

At least the sun was out.

"When did it stop raining?" I mumbled to myself.

"Sometime around 6 in the morning." Edward replied with a kiss on my cheek. Then he turned his attention to Carlisle. "You'll let us know of any news right?"

"Of course. You know, there's a hotel a few blocks away, you can stay there if you want to be close."

Edward turned to look back at me to indicate that it was my choice.

"No…I feel like I need to be under the same roof as him."

Carlisle nodded knowingly. "You two should get something to eat. The cafeteria is just around that corner, through the first staircase on the right and down one flight."

"Will you come with us?" I asked.

"I have to sign off on some papers, make a medication schedule for Emmett for the rest of the day, and make some final checks on everything. I'll be a while."

"You should probably go home when you're done." Edward smiled. "Esme will miss you."

Carlisle's mouth twitched into a small smile and he nodded. "Enjoy your breakfast."

The doctor walked away and Edward and I remained in the waiting room a few moments longer.

Edward leaned his head on my shoulder and gave my neck a soft kiss. "Hungry?"

"A little..."

Then my stomach growled.

"Liar." Edward whispered kissing my neck again.

"Famished."

"Then let's get something eat." He said grabbing my hand and walked me down the isle of chairs.

"Edward this feels wrong." I said stopping.

"Feels wrong?" Edward asked turning around to face me.

"Eating. Doing things. It feels wrong. It's like we should just wait…till he's okay."

Edward closed his eyes for a moment longer than normal and nodded. "Now imagine telling Emmett that. What would he say?"

I let Edward's words truly sink in.

Emmett would shove food down my throat.

I could picture Emmett with his half body cast on and a fork in his mouth, stabbing a plate full of food on his chest and forcing me to eat it since I wasn't trustworthy enough to use utensils on my own.

_Emmett…_

I nodded at Edward. "He'd want me to eat."

"Then let's go kitten." Edward said tugging me along, and I followed him willingly.

"You know when I was in the clinic thing, Emmett fed me."

"And kissed you too." Edward said smirking as he opened the staircase door for me.

I opened my mouth, but couldn't think of anything to say. Then Edward chuckled. "Get through the door princess. I'm only teasing."

"What? Who told you?" I asked walking down a flight of stairs.

"Emmett obviously. He said it was the most disgusting kiss he's ever had."

"What! I am not a bad kisser!" I pouted as I turned the knob on the door and Edward pulled it open for me.

"I'll make sure to pass along the message when he wakes up."

I turned around and stared at Edward wide-eyed, the moment I saw his eyes filled with joy and laughter, I pinched him for teasing me.

"Owww. What was that for?" Edward asked as I turned around and walked down the cafeteria hall. It brought back memories of high school lunch period.

"Pick one, kiss or pinch. I think I'm rather good at the pinching."

"I prefer the kissing." Edward said grabbing my waist and spinning me around planting a rough short kiss on my lips.

"Yummy." I grinned at Edward as we walked holding hands down towards the line. "Oh, we have to see if there's anything for Emmett here."

"There's something Emmett won't eat?" Edward asked faking surprise.

"Touche." I muttered grabbing a tray for Edward and I. "Oh, I know what we can do."

"What is it?"

"When Emmett get's better we can cook him dinner! I'll need to get a Ukrainian cook book though. I'm sure he'd like that. Oh and we need to get Emmett new boxing gloves too. Oh, and maybe a treadmill too so he can work on getting better. Or wait, they have those handicap treadmill things don't they?"

Edward chuckled. "We'll google it."

"You know what else we should do for Emmett?" I asked as I grabbed a foil wrapped hamburger, fries, pea soup, chicken sandwich, and a fruit salad.

"Hungry much?" Edward teased as he grabbed a chicken wrap and fruit salad.

I ignored Edward's comment. I wasn't eating just for me. I was eating for Emmett too. "We need to get Emmett tickets."

"To what?" Edward asked as I grabbed a loaf of pumpernickel bread.

"To that game thing." I said looking at him like he should know what I was talking about as we inched down the line towards the cashiers.

"To an arcade?" Edward asked as he grabbed two bottles of water and placing one on my tray.

"No! Oh! We should do that. Take him to an arcade. That would be fun."

"That will be 35.32." The cashier lady said in a monotone voice that indicated decades of smoking.

"Together." Edward replied.

"45.98." She replied with a wheeze.

Edward handed her his credit card.

"You know I can pay for myself." I said quietly to him.

"I know." Edward said signing his name on the recite and handing it back to the cashier and placing his card back in his pocket.

"But I'm too wealthy for my own good and I enjoy the classical chivalry of relationships. It makes me happy paying for things and spoiling you." He replied as we walked towards the mesh of tables and chairs.

"Well that sucks for me." I said sitting down at a table by the window.

"Oh?" Edward asked confused.

"What will I get you then if you can get anything that money can buy?"

"I'm sure you'll figure something out. Besides weren't you talking about getting Emmett presents?"

"Oh that's right!" I said unwrapping my hamburger. "I want to get him tickets to that big game thing."

"You need to be more specific."

"That big game. All those raunchy men like. With nachos and salsa. You know…the big one."

"The Super-bowl?"

"Yea!!! That's it!"

Edward chuckled. "Okay, I'll arrange something for him."

"I wonder what else we should get him." I pondered as I took a large bite.

"I'm sure we'll figure something out. He can probably stay at the house with us while he's recovering."

_Recovering…_

I didn't like that word. I wanted to pretend that he'd be okay in a week. That he'd be healed up and ready to continue living life as he was meant to.

_Recovery…_

Recovery meant admitting something was wrong in the first place. It meant remembering how small and fragile Emmett looked. I needed to take care of him. Make him better. I didn't want to have him recover. I wanted to make him instantly better.

"Shhh honey. Don't cry." Edward said grabbing my hand.

I stifled a sob and gave a weak smile. "I hate thinking about him like that…"

_Because there's no one else to take care of him…_

"It will be okay. We'll take care of him. Promise."

"Pinky promise?" I asked foolishly.

"Pinky promise."

"Pinky promise on the Mona Lisa?"

"What?"

"First thing that popped into my head."

"Pinky promise on the Mona Lisa." Edward repeated my foolish words.

"Okay. Then, we'll have to find ways to entertain him while he…re-recov…" I cleared my throat. "Recovers."

"You can read to him." Edward said taking a bite of his wrap as I finished my hamburger and moved on to the fries.

"And what else?"

"Movies I guess."

"We can do so many movie nights. I bet Emmett would love that. What else?"

"Sweetheart, we live in America. Americans have perfected the art of being entertained while doing absolutely nothing."

"I take offense. I am an American!" I pouted.

"As am I." Edward grinned. "Dual citizenship is a wonderful thing."

"That just means you can insult either country while claiming to belong to the other one."

"Like I said, wonderful thing."

We ate in silence till I was up to my chicken sandwich.

"You know what makes me sad?" I muttered staring at my half eating sandwich.

"That you have to eat a fruit salad next? I know, something healthy…very terrifying."

After a little giggle from me, I threatened to throw the chemically enhanced chicken breast at him. "It's just…Rosalie should be here…She needs to be here. I mean, Emmett needs her here."

"Ahhh, Rosalie."

"He loves her."

"She loves him too, at least I think so." Edward said after he finished chewing another bite and then placed the wrap back on his plate. He stared at me intensely.

"I don't think so."

"Relationships are tricky." Edward said opening the top of my fruit salad bowl and stealing a piece of cantaloupe. "You guys thought Jasper was cheating on Alice."

"Well, wait…so did you!"

"Did I?" Edward gave me one of his famous challenging smirks. "Or did I just refuse to get into a debate with you over it?"

"You knew?"

"I didn't know. But Jasper just didn't seem like the type of guy to do that kind of thing. That and I mean, he really did smell like a trashy whore for a while. No man is that stupid and he really doesn't seem like he'd be into skanks."

"Well then what's the deal with Rosalie? Oh wise guru." I said sarcastically as I bowed my head for effect.

"I don't know." Edward said shrugging.

"Well she's not Jasper."

"Who is she then?"

"She's a rich, spoiled, Italian girl."

"Hmmm, you name her social status, one characteristic, and her ethnicity and you think you have her laid out? I'm a rich, misunderstood, American-Greek boy. Now, how much did that tell you about me?"

"You're different."

"How come?"

"Because I know you."

"Well then, goes to show you don't know her. Besides if Emmett loves her, there has to be a plethora of reasons to back up an emotion that strong."

"Then what good excuse does she have for not being here for Emmett?"

"I'm not her. I can't tell you."

"Well I think she's just a rich, spoiled, Italian girl who enjoys breaking hearts."

"I love you." Edward said smiling.

"Admit I'm right." I pressed on.

"I admit I love you and I admit you're stubborn as all hell."

"Good enough for me." I rolled my eyes at him before finishing off the chicken sandwich. "Oh and by the way Edward." I said after I chewed the last bite.

Edward raised his eyebrow at me as he gulped down some water.

"I love you too." I said popping a grape in my mouth.

Edward gave me another smirk, except this one was sincere and I appreciated it more.

"Wouldn't it have been wonderful if we would have met when we were younger? Like in high school?" I said looking around the cafeteria that looked as though it was taken from a high school chick flick.

"Well if we would have met in high school then I'd have to have gotten left behind for a handful of years or been your teacher."

"That would be kind of sexy."

"And illegal."

"But sexy."

"Not everything illegal is sexy."

"Most are."

"Bestiality is illegal too."

"I just ate."

"I'm sorry kitten."

"Gross, you can't call me kitten anymore."

"But I had such a huge crush on Catwoman."

"Bite. Me."

"Gladly."

I rolled my eyes at him. "You know, that would cheer Emmett up!"

"What?"

"A kitten!"

"You want to get Emmett a kitten?"

"Yes. I read this article about how helpful it is for people to have pets. It's also known to cure depression or…"

"Sweetheart, isn't a cat too small for Emmett?"

"Too small? Oh, you're right…he might step on it or sit on it. Do they sell lions?"

"You want to get him a lion?"

"Yes."

"Isn't there another animal that might be more suitable for Emmett?" Edward asked wearily.

"Oh… I guess getting a dog would be better."

"And saner."

"I wonder if Emmett likes dogs."

"I'm sure he'll like anything you get him." Edward replied grabbing a watermelon chunk and placing it in his mouth.

"I wish I could get him Rosalie…" I sighed again. The moment any of our conversations gave us hope, it fell right back in the dumps because of Rosalie.

"Maybe he'll get her and she'll get him a dog."

"He's too good for her."

"Kitten." Edward tried to make me see my ignorance of their relationship.

But I wasn't buying it.

I sighed at Edward and gave him a pathetic, "Roar" as a response.

"Heh. Honey come on, let's take a walk."

"Where?"

"Outside, there's a park right behind the hospital."

"I..uh…"

"Only for a little bit, for some fresh air."

"Okay." I agreed as I grabbed the rest of the fruit bowl and we walked out of the cafeteria.

*~*~*

**5 days later: **

Edward woke me up with a kiss while holding a cup of coffee and a chocolate chip muffin in his hands.

"Good morning beautiful." He said smiling.

Today he was wearing green scrubs. Ever since I hinted on a little doctor-patient fantasy of mine he refused to wear any of the clothes Alice brought us.

"Emmett looks better today." I said examining Emmett's unconscious body across the room.

_Still in casts. _

_Still bruised up face. _

_Still hooked up to this and that. _

But somehow, he looked in less pain.

_More serene._

As serene as an almost dead man can look.

I pulled the light blue blanket Jasper got me off and folded it next to me. Edward handed me the coffee and muffin as he sat on the hospital chair next to my sofa that I claimed as my bed the past few days.

Edward let out a monstrous yawn; sleeping upright in a sitting position was catching up to him.

"Coffee?" I offered him some of mine.

"I'm okay." Edward replied weakly, sinking back into his chair and I took a sip from the coffee that had too much milk.

_Just the way I like it. _

"I was thinking, maybe I should read to him. You hear it all the time, people who come out of comas say they could hear things around them. Maybe it will ease him a bit."

"Want me to stop by and grab some books?" Edward asked sitting up.

He was ready to do anything I asked of him without a single utter of complaint.

I nodded as I took a bite out of the muffin.

"You sure you don't want to come with?" Edward asked raising his eyebrow at me.

"You have me on a 10 minute walk in the park twice a day…I can't do more than that. I need to be here."

"Alright sweetheart. Have any book requests?" Edward asked getting up and stretching his arms over his head. His scrubs shirt lifted up and showed off his love trail causing me to blurt out the first author that came to mind.

"Henry Miller."

"You want to give him a hard on while he's in coma?"

"And Faulkner."

"Poor guy." Edward said shaking his head from side to side. "Want me to bring you back anything?"

"Can you get a box of Special K with the strawberry things?"

"Hospital food getting to you?" He teased.

"I see you sneaking those protein bars!"

"I'm not sneaking them, I offer you one every time."

"But they're gross."

"Kashi and South Beach make some decent ones."

"Special K."

"Kay my special little kitten." Edward leaned down to give me a kiss.

"You're corny."

"You love it."

I smiled at Edward as I watched him leave and then turned my attention back to Emmett. Carlisle said it was safe for Emmett to receive visitors two days ago. Edward let me make a million plans to do with Emmett when he got out and we already secured super-bowl tickets for this year for all of us.

I took a deep breath and wiped a tear trying to escape from my eye.

_Emmett…everything will be okay. _

We made so many plans that Emmett didn't really have a choice. He had to be okay. In a few days we were going to do a marathon of Lord of the Rings. Emmett needed to be around for that.

_He will. He'll watch Lord of the Rings with us and Gossip Girl and Scrubs and Breakfast at Tiffany's…_

That was all I could remember of the movies and shows we talked about last night. Jasper loved all the Lord of the Rings movies, and Alice's new show fetish was Gossip Girl, and Edward enjoyed early episodes of Scrubs, while I longed to watch a classic like Breakfast at Tiffany's…or maybe Grease.

_Grease would be more fun for Emmett…_

I concentrated all my attention on Emmett. His body was healing up and with some physical therapy he'd be as good as new. At least that was what the doctors said.

I took another bite of my muffin and slowly chewed it. I had planned out the first month's meals that I was going to cook Emmett when he got out of the hospital. I was sure that would make him happy and they would have plenty of protein to help with his muscles.

_Everything will be okay. _

A part of me wished to go up to Emmett and hold his hand, but I was scared to for some reason. I remained as close to him as the wall of the sofa. Getting closer would mean getting a better look. I didn't want a better look. I wanted Emmett to wake up and come home with us.

Esme was working on one of the rooms across from the bedroom Edward and I shared. She was renovating our home to be handicap friendly and making sure Emmett would feel at home and welcome. At least for the most part. We had too many unfinished rooms for it to feel homey yet.

I noticed Emmett's lip twitch and immediately sat up. The doctors said that there would be minor twitching, but that was the first time I witnessed any movement from him that didn't involve breathing. Suddenly from the corner of my eye I noticed someone standing at the window.

At first I thought it was a nurse.

Then I turned my head.

Rosalie.

She stood there in a dark blue sweater dress with her light golden locks pulled back into a high pony tail.

I blinked...she didn't disappear.

There she was, staring dead straight at Emmett with no sign of emotion anywhere on her face. She was a statue with no sign of guilt or pain. Not even love. Nothing. It was as if she was looking through the window of a cheap 99 cent store.

_Bitch. _

I put down on my coffee and muffin and got up.

I was going to give her a piece of my mind.

And then some.

* * *

**A/N**: I hope you enjoyed it and fingers crossed that you still find the story entertaining! I'll try to get the next chapter out as soon as possible. Thank you for reading, and thank you for all those who will review! You guys seriously make my day.

Sorry for any mistakes in this chapter, I didn't submit it to my Beta first. :x


	28. Engaged

_Calm…be calm…calm...Breathe… _

"What are you doing here?!" I spoke an octave or three higher than I wanted to.

Rosalie didn't look at me or even acknowledge my presence and I took a step out the door, leaving Emmett alone in the room.

Then the undeniable scent of cigarette smoke hit me and I almost coughed from revulsion. She was bathed in it – she reeked of it. I hesitated to step closer at first from surprise and than from fear of instantly getting lung cancer.

"Would have been nice of you to come 5 days ago." I said crossing my hands across my chest.

"Yea…would have." She replied as though I said, "would have been nice of you wear green instead of blue". She turned her head towards me and later her eyes followed.

Her lovely blue eyes were glazed and dead but expressionless.

_Did she not possess a single emotion? _

I needed to know she felt pain, to know she cared because I didn't want to believe all of Emmett's feelings were in vain. I was barely coping with Emmett being in the hospital, I had to make lists and plans and be immature because if I thought too much on the present it would break me. Anytime I thought of losing Edward like Emmett was losing Rosalie, my heart would ache so much that it would feel as though it was being ripped apart into little pieces.

"How could you do this to him?" I asked risking a step closer to her nicotine intoxicated body. I wanted to hit her, slam her head into the window, and spit on her. At least that would probably get her in the hospital, and maybe we could move her bed next to Emmett's so she could be with him.

I knew that my logic bordered insanity, but it was Emmett; the boy that loved her so much, that he would give up anything and everything for her. He would wait for her forever and she didn't care.

You don't reject a love that powerful if you feel the same.

And I almost didn't believe she had the capabilities of loving anyone.

"Why…do you love him so much?" She asked with ice and venom in her voice.

The question surprised me and caused my mind to race with questions.

_Is she jealous? _

_Does she know he kissed me? _

"Because he's real and honest. He's caring and sweet and nothing like you." I replied back like a snake.

"I suppose that does make him a better person." She agreed with me and for some reason that frustrated me. She looked back at Emmett through the window and let out a whimpering sigh.

I wanted to yell at her and have her yell back at me so I could hit her…I desired to hit her…and hurt her. Hurt her like she hurt him.

I usually wasn't a violent person, but she seemed to be bringing out the worst in me because I kept trying to imagine how Emmett would feel…and every time I put myself in his shoes I wanted to jump out like a coward. It was too much pain.

I believed physical pain is minuscule compared to emotional pain.

No one would ever be able to hurt Emmett the way she could.

"He was going to surprise you and try to win you back." I spoke softly. Maybe I didn't understand her…

_Maybe it's her way of dealing with it…_

"He's an idiot." She deadpanned.

_No…I'm right. She's a bitch. _

"And you're a dumbass bitch."

She looked at me and her eyes narrowed as though she was squinting to see the invisible letters on my forehead that read, "I hate you."

"What the fuck do you know?" She hissed.

_Better. _

"I know that he loved you to death. I know that he was willing to do anything to win your fake Gucci ass back. I know that he cried for you and I know he suffered for you. Fuck, he's suffering right now for you!" I felt my cheeks flush deeper with every word. I hated her so much more with every passing moment and I had to grip my arms to keep from doing something excessive.

A nurse in pink scrubs and thick blue rimmed glasses walked out of a room behind us and stopped when she noticed our little confrontation. "Excuse me ladies, is everything alright?"

"Fine." I said sarcastically.

Rosalie gave a nod and the nurse walked away slowly, looking over her shoulder a few times.

"You don't know anything Isabella Swan." Rosalie said after the nurse turned the corner.

_Isabella…_

I hated when people called me Isabella. Only my dad could call me that.

"Is daddy dearest's money really that much more important to you? You heartless cunt."

Suddenly, before my mind could register her movements, a swift quick pain stung across my cheek.

She slapped me.

SHE SLAPPED ME!

"What the fu –" I unclenched my own arms.

"Shut up! What the hell do you know?! Living in your perfect little world with Edward. What problems do you have?! What do you know about life? I heard you talking, living in books….Books…sweetheart, real life hurts and life's not fucking simple." Tears threatened to escape her eyes and I didn't care, my fist was ready to knock her jaw off.

My mind no longer thought about the words coming out of my mouth and I didn't care that she was finally showing some emotion. Everything was happening in that impromptu moment.

"You caused this to Emmett! You fucking selfish bitch!"

"You know what, your right! Absolutely right." Rosalie's voice lowered. "I did this to Emmett. Do you see why he needs to stay away from me? We shouldn't be together. I don't want to hurt him anymore."

"So stop hurting him!"

"I can't!"

_My turn. _

My left hand moved on its own and I backhand-slapped her beautiful face.

"Feel better Swan?" Rosalie spat, not bothering to even touch her cheek. "I came here to break up with him. I came here to end it. To make him move on and stop waiting for me."

"He's still going to wait for you!" I shrieked out. I was so close to crying and hitting her again.

"He can't."

"He will, and he's going to get hurt. Again and again! You're such a masochist!"

"You think I enjoy this!" Rosalie took a shaky step closer to me. "You want to know why I can't be with Emmett? Because I'm engaged!"

"You are a...wait what?! What the hell do you mean your engaged?!"

"I am fucking engaged to Sir Rosario the third! The wedding is next month! I'm expected to give him everything I want to give Emmett. Everything! He'll expect a family from me. I belong to someone else and I'm not Emmett's nor will I ever be!"

I had no words…none. Only a look of disgusted shock to offer.

"Oh don't look at me like that. It was arranged. That was the agreement I had with my parents. I had 8 years of freedom, and then I was to marry Sir Rosario and expand the family estate and name. My time of freedom is up." She said as she fixed her long blonde hair and placed a random strand behind her ear.

"Your family is sick and twisted." I muttered.

"They are my family and I have a responsibility to them." She replied looking away from me and stared at Emmett.

I wanted to slap her again.

"Your father married a none royalty or whatever you are." I said while trying to rationalize her words.

"My father was the third child, I'm an only child. There's no choice for me."

"So you pick a life of misery."

"I pick it?!" She looked at me again, her bottom lip trembled and tears threatened to escape the confines of her cold eyes. "I picked it? I picked the countries to visit, I picked the volunteer work to do, I picked my adventure…that's what I got to pick for eight years. That's what I had. Now I have nothing to pick."

"Do you love Sir Ferdinand or whoever the fuck it is?"

"Of course not."Rosalie spoke as though she was speaking to a child.

"Do you love Emmett?"

"What kind of ridiculous question is that?"

"The kind that needs to be answered."

"Yes, always and forever." She finally looked at him with such passion in her eyes that I thought she might just explode with emotional overload.

"Then why don't you call off the engagement?"

"What part of family obligations do you not understand you retarded imbecile?"

"Your parents are supposed to want the best for you. Your happiness...You know that thing you feel when you're with Emmett when you don't have a ten inch stick up your ass."

"They are giving me what's best for me."

Then I snapped. No slapping. No crying. No disgust. No pity.

Just anger.

My fist connected with her cheek and the force that I exhorted had pushed her up against the window. Her eyes stared at me with surprise, pain, shock.

"Get the fuck out of this hospital. Get the fuck out of this country. Get the fuck out of Emmett's life. I'll take care of him. He has friends that actually love him. That would do anything for him." I took a deep breath and continued, "Emmett's too good for you. He's not scared of fending for himself. He's not scared of other people. He would do anything for you. He loves you unconditionally, while you love him with limits. Go fuck your Ferdinand and pop out a few babies. That's all your good for anyway. You'd never be able to take care of him. Ever. Go run along to your daddy since he's taken better care of you than Emmett ever has. I'll make sure to tell Emmett what a low class, selfish, scumbag you are."

I didn't let her respond; I just walked away from her and went back through the door to Emmett's room. If I would have stayed, I might have gotten arrested for what I planned to do to her. When I looked through the window, the only thing left was glass smudges. The only proof she was ever there and eventually the custodial staff would clean it off.

I grabbed the handles of the chair Edward slept on and pulled it close to Emmett. I sat in it and put my hand on his chest – feeling his heartbeat. Rosalie wasn't going to take care of him. She wouldn't hold him. So I stayed still like that, somehow hoping my action was going to keep Emmett's heart from breaking.

~*~*~

Edward came back an hour or so later with a bag full of goodies; Tropic of Cancer, Black Spring, Light in August, Sanctuary, The Sound and The Fury, and The Rescue. He also brought some double stuffed Oreos because he loves me.

"Everything going okay?" Edward asked pulling the sofa closer to Emmett's bed.

I opened the box of Oreo's and contemplated lying for a moment. But I had never lied to Edward before, if I lie then that would have given him every right to lie to me. So I told the truth.

"Rosalie stopped by."

"Oh?"

"I was right. You were wrong. Don't want to talk about it."

"Alright. Give me a cookie."

I gave him the first cookie out of the box and took the second for myself.

"By the way, King Ferdinand, he was an Italian King person right?"

"Umm, Spain. Catherine and Ferdinand …with Columbus and Spain went bankrupt with the over abundance of silver from America."

"Oh, damn."

"Why do you ask?"

"I made an inaccurate insult."

Edward laughed at me as he leaned to give me a kiss on my temple. "So what book do you want to start reading him?"

"The Sound and the Fury."

"That books a little hard to digest."

"The Rescue? Whose that one by?" I asked leaning towards the bag to pick up the book.

"Conrad."

"You want Emmett to recover or have to be treated for trauma?"

"You will respect Conrad one day."

"No." I replied simply and glanced back at the bag. "Tropic of Cancer."

"That book is –"

"Oh, hush puppy and hand over the porn." I teased.

"Yes master." Edward said grabbing another cookie from the box on my lap and then reached into the bag and brought out the book. I snatched it from him and flipped it open to the first page.

"I am living at the Villa Borghese. There is not a crumb of dirt anywhere, nor a chair misplaced. We are all alone here and we are dead." I sighed. "I love Miller."

"If Emmett wakes up insane, I know who to blame."

"Anyway…" I cleared my throat and continued. "Last night Boris discovered that he was lousy. I had to shave his armpits and even then the itching did not stop. How can one get lousy in a beautiful place like this? But no matter. We might never have known each other so intimately, Boris and I, had it not been for the lice."

.........

2 days, 1 1/2 books, 19 poker games, 4 chess games, 1 incomplete game of 52 card pick up, 2 nurse's life stories, and 1 game of hide n seek later…It was time for Emmett to wake up.

His eye swelling had gone down tremendously. His right eye still looked unopenable but his right one looked like a normal black and blue eye that wasn't involved in a deadly accident.

_We_ were all there when Emmett was taken off the medication…_we_ as in all the _we_ that mattered. As in no Rosalie.

Alice had taken the liberty to spray every inch of the hospital in her perfume, getting herself kicked out 3 times for health violations. Jasper had purchased dozens of flowers to brighten up the room since Emmett's had no real window for sunshine. Esme and Carlisle got Edward a brand new blanket with butterflies all over it…not that manly but it was the softest thing on the planet. I had bought him a 5 foot tall teddy bear…well Edward bought it for me to give to Emmett since I refused to leave the hospital. Edward got him a mini dvd player, claiming for it to be the ultimate lazy tool next to portable and vibrators. I disagreed with him on the later…you could certainly work up a sweat.

We sat around for an hour before Emmett actually woke up. All of us yelled "Surprise" in horrible attempt at trying to say it in unison.

Alice snapped a picture of him and he groaned from the flash.

"Come now, give him some space." Carlisle asked.

Everyone moved away but me.

"Hey you." I whispered leaning close to him so he could see me with his good eye.

"Hey Bella." He tried to clear his throat twice before speaking again in a hoarse voice. "What, no kiss?"

"No kiss." I rolled my eyes.

"You're no fun."

"Be grateful I'm not Chaucer." I said making a literary reference.

"Do I look like Edward?" Emmett groaned trying to sit up and then realized he had no use of his arms and legs. "Ugh, what happened? Did I sleep walk off a building?" I was so surprised at how calm Emmett remained, or maybe it was all just sinking in.

"Car accident." Carlisle said.

"Not your fault!" Alice chimed in. "Stupid drunk driver."

"Is this permanent? Like am I paralyzed?"

"No son, not at all." Carlisle said trying to reassure Emmett. "In about 3 to 4 months you'll be as good as new. In about 2 months you'll start physical therapy, and you'll make some outstanding progress."

"And you'll be okay. You're coming home with me and Edward as soon as you heal up some more."

"Where's Rosalie?"

Silence…

"She left to Italy." I said sadly.

Emmett nodded knowingly, like he should have expected that much from her.

_Yes…it's to be expected. _

"So Carlisle, how long till our big bad bear can get out?" I said rubbing Emmett's chest and smiling at him.

He gave a weak smile back. His face had healed up nicely, with only a few scratches remaining.

"Well, his vitals are stabilized; he still needs to be monitored for another three or so days. We kept him suppressed a little longer than needed but the rest was really good for him. If we can get him eating solid food in a few days I don't see a reason for him to stay too long."

"Bring me a cow!" Emmett shouted with a big lopsided grin.

"You're going to have to be on shakes for the next two days." Carlisle replied smiling.

I think we were all smiling – so relieved that Emmett was okay and not panicking.

"Shakes? Like protein shakes?"

"They will have protein in them, but mostly some antibiotics and a lot of vitamins."

"Sounds good doc." Emmett smiled. "Have you guys been here long?"

"Jasper, Esme, and I were here every night and Edward and Bella refused to leave."

"Awww thanks munchkin." Emmett blinked at me, which was supposed to be taken as a wink. "So, by the way, do I only have one eye now? Because I'd totally appreciate a pirate patch."

It was slightly awkward about how light hearted Emmett was about everything. Maybe he didn't understand what was going on.

"Two eyes, one's healing a bit slower." Carlisle said grabbing a chart and filling some things out.

"How do you feel honey?" Esme asked sweetly brushing his little blonde curls with her fingers.

"Fine mommy." Emmett teased Esme.

"Do you feel tense anywhere?" Carlisle asked not looking up from his chart.

"I really don't feel much of anything it's like Novocain all over my body."

"We'll be decreasing the pain killer dosage tonight. Make sure to keep the nurse updated on how your feeling. Do you feel light headed?"

"Don't think so."

"Alright. What is the last thing you remember?"

"Ummm, leaving my house? Or wait no, getting into the truck and calling Rosalie. She didn't pick up though." He closed his good eye.

"Alright. Esme and I will leave you all alone. Try not to make a ruckus. The nurses didn't appreciate the last game of hide n seek."

"Sorry." Alice chirped and we waved good bye to them.

"This is totally going to kill my muscle mass." Emmett complained when they left.

"We got you a WAFT!" I squealed.

"It's a wheelchair treadmill." Edward said before Emmett could question me.

"Thanks a lot you guys, but you really don't have to do this."

"We don't mind." I said.

"Man, just accept their help. Bella's been a damn wreck." Jasper said tugging Alice closer to him.

"Have not!"

"Have too!" Japser and Alice shouted at the same time.

"Freaky." Emmett muttered.

"I do believe she has planned out the rest of your life." Edward said putting his arm around me.

"Watch it mister." I warned Edward.

"Oh, Edward, careful I might steal her away." Emmett teased Edward.

Edward just grinned. He knew his love spell was woven so tightly that nothing would ever break us apart. Ever.

"Emmett are you sure your okay?" I asked him with love and concern drentched in my voice.

"Positive. I mean, well no...it's annoying to want to move and not be able to. But this junks not permanent...and besides, you guys are here. How can I not be okay?" Emmett cocked his head to the side.

"Oh! Let's play a game!" Alice danced across the room to her big Prada luggage.

"What?"

"Clue!"

"How are we going to play Clue?"

"It's not twister! Emmett pairs off with Jasper and then we solve a mystery! Oh wait…" Alice said handing the board game to Edward and skipping back to her luggage.

"I'm so glad you guys aren't acting like it's my funeral." Emmett said adding a chuckle.

"You have absolutely no idea how much restraint it's taking for me not to burst out crying on how happy I am that you're okay."

"No tears. Please." Emmett's good eye glistened for a moment and then he began to cough.

Alice had gotten out her perfume bottle and began to spray the whole room till we all threatened to stuff her pixie ass into a garbage can.

"Well that's just rude!" She squealed.

"Death by suffocation is kinda rude too." Emmett let out an over emphasized cough.

"Oh! Emmett! I'm engaged!" Alice squealed.

"Oh pip squeak, congratulations. Who's the victim?"

"My little Jaspy-poo!" Alice said walking behind Jasper, stood on a chair and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Victim is a terrific description." Emmett said smugly.

"Shove it." Alice said.

"Jaspy-poo, I think your girlfriend's talking dirty to me." Emmett teased and let out a laugh.

"Shut up you before I throw this bottle at your head!" Alice threatened.

"Break your engagement present?" Emmett asked.

"Oh no, this is a copy. The real thing has been put in a missile proof glass case with the same basic structure as the black box they put in planes as a center peace in the den with laser security all around it. My baby was smart enough to get me an order of 500 similar bottles. Of course these are crystals and not diamonds, but still." Alice said giving Jasper a kiss on the neck.

"How many bottles have you used already?" I asked Alice as I tried to help Edward while he was setting up the board game on Emmett's chest.

"32 bottles so far. The world needs to smell our love." Alice smiled handing out little notepads and pencils.

"Just don't get a sex tape lost on the internet and we can remain friends." Emmett grinned at Alice.

Alice looked the other way.

"Oh my god!" I gasped. "You made a sex tape?"

"So the rules for Clue are –" Alice tried to change the topic.

"Oh my god you made multiple sex tapes." My jaw nearly dropped.

"Oh fine! We made about 10…or so. Give or take 50." Alice shrugged. "Don't worry they're only for when one of us has to go out of town and we're unable to have phone sex."

"I am officially deeply disturbed." Edward said.

"Man I should have thought of that. Yo Jazz, is it weird to tape yourselves doing the dirty?" Emmett asked as though he was asking a science professor the chemical makeup of a toad.

"First few times yeah. Then Alice installed these spy cameras and –"

"AHEM!" Alice cleared her throat and slapped Jasper upside the head.

"Come on Ally-cat, a boy's curious." Jasper defended himself.

"Yeah and so am I." I replied.

"You are?" Edward asked taking his attention from the board game.

"Ugh….fine Jasper. Tell them about my sex life."

"Is that a tell them and you'll never get laid again or tell them and you'll wish you hadn't naughty style."

"Jasper!" Alice squeaked.

"I tease." Jasper said grabbing Alice's tiny waist and pulled her close to him.

"So anyway, yea Alice set up spy cams all around the bedroom and then we just edit all the tapes and make a smoking hot movie. Plus it's really good foreplay to make the tape since we have so many angles to work with."

"Interesting…" Emmett and I said at the same time.

"Freaky." Jasper and Alice replied at the same time back and we all had a good laugh.

Finally after a few too personal questions of which Alice threatened to tickle Emmett until he peed into his little tube baggy, we began to play Clue.

Edward seemed out of it the whole time afterwards and Jasper and Emmett won all the games.

I can't lie…my mind wander a bit too.

~*~*~*~

Eventually we all fell asleep in the hospital after 2 hours of clue and then an hour of truth or dare till Carlisle came in, politely; threatening to kick us out…apparently putting whip cream beards on patients was looked down on.

Jasper and Alice had fallen asleep cuddled together on my couch and Edward had fallen asleep on a chair with his legs up on Emmett's bed. I on the other hand was only pretending to sleep. The relief of Emmett being okay…was too great.

I was too happy to be able to sleep.

They decreased the amount of morphine and Emmett still seemed fine, though Carlisle said that they might keep him a bit longer than planned.

"Bells, are you awake?" Emmett whispered.

"Mmm hmm."

"Sorry for worrying you."

"Just get better Em."

"Yeah, I just don't want to be a burden – you know?" Emmett said sounding really upset. "It's like if I have an itch…I'm going to have to ask someone to scratch it. That's so messed up."

"I'll scratch any itch you have."

"Any?" Emmett asked wickedly.

"Almost any."

"Hah."

"We're friends. We do things for each other so don't worry about it."

"So how do I get Rose back?" Emmett said sighing. "I have enough money for a trip to Italy…I just have no idea where to start or if she'll stay there. God, she's like a wild horse."

"Em, don't go after her."

"Bell?"

"She's not worth it." It hurt me to say those words…but it was true.

Silence.

Then Emmett chuckled. "Oh Bella, are you in love with me?"

"Gross."

"You're being serious." Emmett's voice lowered. "What happened?"

"She came by a few nights ago."

"Really?" His voice sounded hopeful.

I hated telling the truth.

"She's engaged." I whispered.

"What?"

"She's engaged." I spoke a little louder, so he knew that he heard right the first time.

I felt worse than the Grim Reaper…at least he ended things…at that moment I was making things unbearable for Emmett.

He was stuck with his legs and arms in casts. He was hooked up to half a dozen monitors and machines. He couldn't do anything. He needed athletics to get his emotions out…and he was chained to the bed.

Confined without an outlet.

The silence carried on for so long I thought Emmett had fallen asleep.

I closed my eyes and then Emmett spoke again.

"No, love doesn't work like that. No one suppose to give up."

"Rosalie gave up." I tried to reason with him.

"She didn't give up. She's running away. She's scared. She didn't give up."

"Oh Emmett…"

"Bella, imagine Edward running back to Greece right now…you're telling me you wouldn't go after him?"

"Em, of course I would…but that's different."

"How's that different Bella?"

"Emmett she's going to reject you again."

"Let her reject me for as long as I live…but I swear I won't quit. That's what Rosalie's scared of. She's scared of me quitting on her. I'll never quit supporting, loving, caring, spoiling her…ever."

"But hasn't she quit on you?"

"No, because she never tried. She was only one foot in the relationship; I'm going to get her whole body into it….one day."

I started to cry because it was hopeless.

_Utterly hopeless._

* * *

**A/N:** Thank you for reading. Thank you for those of you who will review. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I'm eternally grateful for everyone :)


	29. Will you be my friend?

The morning was better…we didn't talk about Rosalie anymore but when I looked into Emmett's eyes I saw the dark oceans of pain that he was drowning in. It was a raging battle that the most skilled seaman Captain would surely lose his best ship to. It wasn't something that would go away, but the least I could do was numb the suffering.

Emmett would be Emmett.

He would go after her.

With all my heart I wished she didn't run away. I wished she would have made this easier on Emmett and stayed because this prolonged suffering was tearing Emmett's insides apart.

For Emmett to travel by airplane he needed to have medical clearance that Carlisle said he refused to give for at least another 2 months.

2 months…

Rosalie would be married by then.

The torture Emmett must have been going through was unimaginable to me, but Emmett never let his hurt seep through his playful smile. I only saw the pain when I looked deep into his eyes.

I believe, only during the darkest, quietest, sleepless nights did Emmett allow be engorged in his emotions and feel the waves pain that were tearing his soul apart with no remorse.

I felt like a doctor watching a patient die on the inside and being unable to do anything but keep them comfortable.

So we all kept Emmett comfortable.

After a week of glorious hospital pranks, being reprimanded daily, and sneaking in Oreo Ice Cream cakes to the hospital, Emmett was finally discharged.

He could open both eyes, and was able to survive on strong prescription pain killers. His head Band-Aids were removed and x-rays showed his ribs to be healing up nicely. He was still stuck in his half body caste but that wouldn't last forever.

Soon Emmett would be out and about. Running and hiking, punching and kicking, and doing all other god forsaken dangerous activities…including going after Rosalie.

I wheeled Emmett out of the room and into the hallway as Carlisle explained to all of us what Emmett required. Regular diaper changes, nightly ointment application on wounds, regular massages, sponge baths and he needed to physically be turned over a few times a night so no part of his body cramps up. Then he handed Edward a list of Emmett's dietary needs and then a big bag filled with all the Medication Emmett needed for the month.

Carlisle gave us his personal number to call just in case of emergency and told us that in a week he would be returning to The Center. He also questioned Emmett a dozen times on how he was feeling before he allowed us to leave with our soldier wounded in the battle of love.

Everyone walked and I pushed Emmett's wheelchair out into the parking lot. It was fairy warm outside – maybe not warm enough for the micro-mini skirt Alice was sporting but warm enough to not need a sweater.

"The weathers lovely. Perfect for a nice stroll later." I said smiling.

"Bella, I'm 25 not 85. I don't take strolls." Emmett complained.

"Shhhh. You're strolling after dinner." I said between my teeth. Emmett needed strolls. He needed fresh air and as much sunlight as the desolate Forks forecast provided.

"Crazzzzzzy Bella." Alice sang at me as she skipped ahead towards our little bus.

Emmett gave me a fake whimper and I rolled my eyes.

Jasper had gone out and rented one of those miniature buses for handicapped people. It was short and small and dirty white. Alice mentioned about getting a car wash for it when we were in the hospital. I now understood why, it looked as though it just came out of a mud flood.

"I'm going to be riding a short bus?" Emmett asked watching Alice hand gesture towards it like the model from wheel of fortune.

"We're all riding the short bus." Jasper reassured Emmett.

"Joy." Edward replied sarcastically. "Why didn't we just get a blimp and fly Emmett back."

I shot Edward a look and he did an Alien come-in-peace sign and I tried to stiffen a giggle.

I loved Edward too much to be anything but totally head over heels for him.

Alice began jumping up and down like a seven year old in a candy store as Jasper approached the vechihal.

"Open it! Open it! Open it!" She squealed.

I couldn't help but laugh at her. I loved how we were all adults but somehow still stuck at 17. Hopelessly in love and happy. We had our adult problems with taxes and bills but we were still carefree in a way. Still surprised by the little quirks of life.

And seeing a little short Alice bounce up and down and then trip over her own feet was just hysterical.

Jasper of course ran to her aid in seconds while trying to stop his snorting laughter.

I was happy that at least we would continue to have ridiculous memories like these…it made me feel young and awake. It's like I'd been asleep for most of my life.

Jasper opened up the short bus and led Alice on. He went to the controls in the driver's side and began to press some buttons and a door opened in the back.

"I'm going to get the lift thing going. I think." Jasper stated with uncertainty.

The front door closed.

"Wait. Wrong button." I heard his muffled voice through the door.

The windshield wipers started going.

The front door opened.

The back door closed.

"Jasper, need help?" Edward offered.

"No, I got it."

The back door opened again and then a little plate of metal extended from within.

"Strap Emmett to that when it lowers."

We followed Jasper's instructions and began to strap Emmett on.

"Nice Ass." Emmett commented as I bent over.

"Don't you wish you could slap it?" Edward said straightening up and giving my ass a playful spank.

"Hey!" I squeaked.

"Tease." Emmett grumbled.

When we finally clicked and secured Emmett to the plate of metal Edward called for Jasper to get Emmett into the bus.

No answer.

"Jasper?" Edward called.

Nothing.

Edward walked to the front of the bus and said, "Jasper stop dry humping Alice and get Em in the bus." I watched Edward shake his head and walk back. "They were getting down and dirty." He explained.

After a few minutes of doors closing and opening, some strange noises, and an unexplainable vibration – Edward went to the front of the bus and kicked Jasper off the driver's seat and tried to figure it out himself.

The base where Emmett was secured rose an inch and then stopped. Then the back door opened and closed again. Then Emmett rose half a foot and then back down.

Emmett threatened to head-butt Edward in the balls if he didn't stop pressing the wrong buttons for the miniatures elevator. I saw Alice sigh and out of apparent bored she got up from her seat and started to twirl around in the aisle between the seats.

Jasper began to shout something or other about Alice needing to wear full ass covering underwear and grabbed her to him when his vigilant shouts proved pointless.

I started to giggle like mad. Suddenly everything became funny.

It was like I was back in senior year of high school, hanging out with Jessica, Lauren, and Alice when we all tried pot for the first time. I was laughing pot head.

Laughing.

Laughing.

Laughing.

Edward stopped pressing buttons in the driver's seat and I saw him turn his head and look at me.

I couldn't stop laughing.

I just couldn't.

_Life is beautiful. _

_So so so beautiful. _

And when I met Edward's eyes, sudden warmth filled me that for a moment I understood Emmett's desire to chase after Rosalie forever.

It was as if the sky's clouds cleared and a ray of sunlight emerged bringing spot light onto me.

And then I stopped laughing…as I realized I'd chase Edward till the ends of time around the world a hundred times if I had to…another realization struck me so violently that I almost puked my cheap coffee up.

_Edward had chased me. _

_Edward had gone after me. _

I once rejected Edward and then I hadn't realized I was in love with Edward for so long…I was blind to the love I had for him.

But I took the chance after Edward opened up my eyes with the letter.

Emmett needed to open up Rosalie's eyes somehow.

He would.

He would open her eyes.

"Baby cakes are you okies?" Alice asked popping her head out the window and then she disappeared – apparently too short to be able to stay there long.

"Uh, yea. Yeah. I just realized something."

"Oh?" Jasper asked as he looked at me from behind Alice who he was probably holding up.

_We were still in lunch period in high school. Still in middle school sex ed class. Still in elementary school at show and tell. _

_Still learning…still experiencing…still loving. _

_We never grew up. _

_Do people ever __**really**__ grow up? _

I thought I lost every piece of my adolescence after my father's death…but I was wrong. I just hid it. In a dark corner where Edward had found it and brought it out into the open.

_We were all just kids in love. _

_In love with each other. _

_And in love with life. _

Edward eventually managed to press the right button and the tray finally lifted up correctly and got Emmett inside the little bus safe and sound.

I went around to the front of the bus and got on, giving Edward a loving look. I loved him. I loved him more than words would ever be able to tell.

Then I turned around and looked at Emmett who finally got onto the bus through the cooperation of the evil contraption. Emmett was like the brother I never had. I felt so protective of him. I had to keep him safe and alive, if not for his own sake, but for mine. Emmett was something wonderful and amazing, and I couldn't let something that spectacular get hurt. So I would protect him as long as I could, and when I couldn't protect him I'd be there for him to fall apart…because he would be there when I'd fall apart.

"We should paint the bus yellow." Jasper said unhooking Emmett's Wheelchair and bringing me from my own thoughts.

"But then it will be the retarded bus." Alice answered dumbly.

"That's what he meant Alice." Edward laughed as the joke went way over her head.

"Oh my god! Meanie! I haven't had decent coffee in four days! What do you want from me? The quadratic equation!?" Alice said pouting as she bent over to help Jasper and Edward and I got a nice view of her goodies.

"Alice, no panties?" I asked cocking my head to the side.

"Ekkk!" She squeaked and jumped up and quickly sat on the nearest seat. "They're in Jasper's ass pocket." She explained like a little kid who just got caught stealing candy in the movie theater.

"Alice!" Jasper growled.

"So what? You can talk about our sex life and I can't? Jasper and I like to have sex in public too." Alice said as-a-matter-of-factly.

"Can I drive?" Edward asked as Emmett was safely put into the proper place on the bus and belted in tight.

"Have you ever driven a bus before?" I asked.

"Sure." Edward replied.

"I don't see why not." Jasper said shrugging as he took a seat next to Alice.

"Sure is not a response. Sure is not yes or no. Have you ever driven a bus before?" I asked again.

"Sure." Edward replied looking over his shoulder at me, giving me a lazy smirk.

"Edward!"

"Bella sit your ass down!" Alice demanded.

It wasn't as though she could _see_ my ass…I had jeans on, thank you very much.

"Trust me." Edward said and to that I could never say no to.

_Or sure…what kind of response is sure!? _

_Hmph. _

I sat down in the nearest seat to Edward and put my seat belt on while flashing him a dirty look to which he responded to by blowing me an over emphasized kiss.

"I wish I could stick my ass out the window." Emmett said sighing. "I swear I am going to do every dumbass thing I have ever wanted to do in my life after I get these casts off."

"Like what?" Jasper asked.

"After I get Rose, everything." Emmett said in that dreamy far-away voice.

I wished Rosalie didn't take my advice to leave the country. It felt like such a childish thing to do.

We hit a speed bump really hard and everyone bounced up.

"EDWARD!" We all screamed unanimously.

"Well, Bella has never been on a roller-coaster. I was just preparing her." Edward replied chuckling.

"Preparing me?" I questioned.

"Alice has never been on one either." Jasper chimed in.

"And she will never go on one!" Alice screeched at Jasper.

"I want to go on a Roller-coaster!" Emmett whined.

"We'll push you down a hill!" I shot back.

I did not want to ever go on a roller-coaster. They were terrifying and just plan pointless.

"Bellllllllla….you're not giving me anything to look forward to." Emmett cried.

I grinded my teeth together, grateful that Edward came to my rescue with a change of subject; "Emmett's place first to pick up some essentials?" He asked and Emmett yelled a big "Yeap!" with a pop in the p.

Edward had been just fantastic. He had agreed to give Emmett sponge baths and change him and do everything and anything to help him get better. Edward could not have been a better boyfriend or a better friend….hell a better person at that.

Edward never complained and never back-lashed on anything that Emmett needed – of course there was plenty of teasing and stupid exchanges between the two but everything remained friendly.

Then Jasper began to sing "The Wheels on the Bus go Round and Round", and we all screamed in horror.

Eventually Alice shut him up by stuffing her tongue down his throat... and a few less terrifying moments later we arrived in front of Emmett's house.

I glanced at Jasper and Alice who were getting it on. They were so into their kissing that Jasper began to tug at Alice's flimsy excuse of a shirt.

"Don't get up now." I said sarcastically as I walked past them. "I'll hook Emmett up to the contraption."

"Don't kill him." Edward shouted back as I unclipped Emmett's wheelchair and rolled him to the retractable piece.

"Bella." He lifted his head up and looked at me and with all utter seriousness said, "never let go!" and then he snorted and laughed at my surprised expression.

_Stupid Titanic quote. _

"Dork." I rolled my eyes as I squatted down to secure him.

"Ready!" I shouted taking a step back and going to the front of the bus while Edward pressed the release button.

We didn't want to disturb the lovebirds who were sucking face for the gold medal, so Edward and I left the bus and went around to the back to help get Emmett out of the god forsaken contraption.

Finally, when we managed to unlock his wheelchair, Emmett muttered Rosalie's name…and it broke my heart again.

She was a ghost that would haunt him forever.

Then he said her name again, louder and I looked up at him and his gaze was narrowed to the doorstep. I turned my head and in front of his house there stood Rosalie in an oversized royal red USC shirt and basketball shorts that probably belonged to Emmett. Her bloodshot eyes held such emotion that it over flowed into her face and she looked foreign to me. She wasn't the Rosalie I saw in the hospital.

Her left cheek was still slightly swollen and was tainted with a black and blue that she didn't bother to cover with makeup. Although one of the most striking differences about the new Rosalie that stood before us was the short hair. She had chopped up the majority of her hair and it barely reached her chin.

She stood there, at the steps of his house, clothed but naked. Her body trembled as though the wind was pushing her to and fro. Unable to leave her alone.

"Rosalie…" He repeated again. His voice was filled with disbelief and love.

If he had working arms I could imagine him reaching out to try to touch her, to make sure she was real.

"Prevet." **{Hey}** Her eyes were looking at him for the first time…really looking at him. Seeing him.

"Ya podumalab shto tgi v Italiyou poyehala." Emmett said staring back at her shocked. **{I thought you had left for Italy}**

"I'm sorry." She said walking down the steps barefoot. I saw the goosebumps attack her whole body as the wind blew at her now shortened hair making her seem even more vulnerable. "Ya..Ya boyalaca." **{I…I was scared}** She said as she stood a foot away from him and all I smelled was sweet peaches and no signs of cigarette smoke.

I felt Edward grab me and pull me away from Emmett and Rosalie to give them their space but I wouldn't move more than a few feet away. I wanted to witness their reunion first hand.

I was wrong.

There Rosalie stood, with raggedy clothes on, jumping from Ukrainian to English; barely letting me understand what was being said. But I did understand the main thing, she didn't leave to Italy.

She stayed.

Or maybe she left to Italy and came back.

What difference did it make? She was waiting for Emmett. She picked Emmett.

That's all that mattered.

"Oh my god." I heard Alice's voice above me. I looked up and saw her tiny head peeping out of the window looking at Rosalie and Emmett.

And we watched them and listened to a conversation we barely understood. Thankfully love doesn't speak with words, but with feeling. If you were to take a picture of them in that moment, words would be pointless anyway.

"Sho stalosa s tvom lichkom?" **{What happened to your face?}** Emmett asked gently. I could see the annoyance in his face that he couldn't move his legs or arms.

Rosalie brought her hand up to her face and her fingertips grazed the bruise I gave her. "Ya polochila…ummm." **{I got….ummmm.}** She looked at me, "a rude awakening" and smiled as she looked back at Emmett.

"Lapochka…moya krasivaya rosochka…" **{Baby…my beautiful rose.}** Emmett spoke to her with a cracking voice.

Rosalie got down on her knees in front of Emmett and placed her hands gently on his casted lap.

"Ya doomaya sho ya vas kohayou…" **{I think that I am in love with you}** She spoke and the words sounded so familiar to me. "This time…I'm ready." She said in English.

"But, what about the marriage?" Emmett asked, and I could see a stabbing pain that fact brought to her face but immediately it disappeared.

"There is none unless you're proposing." She smirked at him with such cockiness that it might have been able to rival Edward's classical smirk.

"What about your family?" Emmett asked in disbelief. The past week he was preparing for a battle for the rest of his life to win Rosalie over. And there she was in front of him, waving the white flag.

"They will probably disown me. No more trust fund or bank account. No more bottomless wallets and no more art collections and no more country hopping trips." She didn't sound sad at all. "I get something much better. Ya tebe ma-you." **{I have you}**

"A broken man." Emmett chuckled letting his dimples show.

"That will heal, because I'll take care of you." Rosalie promised.

"And then I'll take care of you." Emmett promised back. "Obetsayou."** {I promise you.}**

"I'd like that…a lot." Rosalie smiled as she leaned up towards him and gave him a kiss on the lips.

Edward leaned into my ear and whispered; "You were wrong."

"Yeap." I agreed unable to remove the huge smile from my face.

_I'm wrong. _

"You're not wearing a bra." Emmett grinned when their kiss ended.

"EMMETT!" Alice and I screamed and both of them looked over to us.

"At least you could have said that part in Ukrainian!" I said rolling my eyes at him.

Rosalie gave him another kiss and whispered something in his ear which caused a tiny blush to appear on Emmett's overly zealous face.

"Odno secondoe mishka."** {One second my teddy bear}** Rosalie said to Emmett as she got up and walked towards the peeping toms.

"Hey." I smiled at her, already forgiving her for everything that transpired in the hospital.

"Hey." She smiled back and then nodded hello to Edward and even Alice. Jasper was probably under Alice since there was no way she would be tall enough to get up to the window on her own without some major acrobatic skills…like a split on the top of the row of seats.

"Listen…Uh, I mean." Rosalie said running her hands through her short hair.

"Want to be friends?" I asked like a third grader.

"You accept me?" Rosalie asked with astonishment dripping from her voice. "I've never been a friend to anyone." She said honestly.

"So, will you be my friend anyway? I'm willing to take the chance."

"Yeah…I'd like that." She smiled.

"And friends with me and Jaspy-pooh too!" Alice squealed sticking her hand out the window and waving.

"And me too, although you might find me the saner of the bunch." Edward said raising an eyebrow at Alice's antics.

"Is he good in bed?" Rosalie asked me bluntly.

"Extraordinary." I replied quickly and then blushed.

She shrugged and smirked and I was too embarrassed to look at Edward and his reaction.

"Maybe everyone can come in. Some football game is on that the guys might enjoy and the girls can do…ummm…girl things…whatever that is." She invited us.

A squeal more painful on the ears had never been heard until that moment. Alice ran out of the bus screaming down and jumped up on top of Rosalie and wrapped her legs around her.

Rosalie looked stunned and Emmett only laughed.

"I LOVE YOU!!!! Bella never wants to do girl things!!! I had to tie her up last time!" Alice cried into Rosalie's shirt.

Alice always had a problem with coming off too friendly. At 27, she looked and acted like a 12 year old.

"Oh really?" Edward asked coyly.

Before I could answer Jasper tumbled out of the bus with his hair in more disarray than Edwards…and that's saying something.

"What the hell were you two up to?" I stared at Jasper as he walked towards us.

Alice jumped off Rosalie and smiled. "That's something we talk during girl's night! We need nail polish, tea, chocolate, and facial masks! I have Gossip Girls in my bag!" She said pointing to the blue chunky bag she carried on her shoulder. It looked as though it weighed half of Alice.

Rosalie stared at me – utterly confused and I could only shrug. It's not like Alice was normal….

_Welcome to insanity of the cougar. _

"Come on!" Alice said grabbing both our hands. "Jaspy and Eddie get Emmy inside!"

Alice was always out there…and I always had a feeling she was waiting for me to acknowledge that gene in me that screamed to be girlie but apparently I came with defective D.N.A. I could tell Rosalie was going to be Alice's new adoration as she tugged us towards the front of the house.

I swear I heard Jasper utter, "Oh dear god" under his breath. Alice stopped us at the front door and whispered, "Look at them, they're ours." I looked at the boys that had stolen our hearts. Edward was standing behind Emmett's wheelchair getting ready to push him around the back where there were no steps while Jasper stood with his forehead against the little bus. I wish I had a camera to take a picture.

"We should have taken them to Alice's room." Emmett said staring back at us.

"Why?" Edward asked.

"The cameras…"

"They are not going to have a threesome." Jasper said running his hands through his hair.

"That's what you think." Rosalie replied tugging us inside.

We broke into a feverish giggle as the boys thoughts were ambushed with naughty fantasies.

~*~*~*~

We walked into the kitchen and Rosalie put a kettle full of water on the stove, while the boys came in through the back door.

"Wow. The house is beautiful." I said looking around, admiring the homey feeling that Edward's house lacked.

There were over stuffed coaches in the living room and blue drapes in the kitchen. There were matching dishware on the counter and multi colored coasters on the kitchen table. Everything was wooden and stone, and all the walls had hanging frames of art that I could not even begin to interpret. There was even a fireplace in the living room and another one in the kitchen.

"I like it a lot too." Alice said sniffing the centerpiece of multi-colored spring flowers.

"Ladies, anything we could help you with?" Jasper asked popping his head through the door.

"No we're good Jaspy-pooh!" Alice said rushing towards him to give him a peck on the lips.

"Then do you think we could get some Salsa and Chips?" Jasper asked and Rosalie nodded rummaging through the rosemary wooden cupboards above her. She got out the desired items and Alice skipped over to grab them and delivered them to Jasper's hands.

"Thank you."

"Kiss me." She demanded and he kissed her softly on the lips.

I turned to look at Rosalie who stood behind the kitchen counter looking slightly uncomfortable.

"You okay?" I asked.

"Yea, just…this is all really new to me."

"What's new?" Alice asked turning around and turning her attention back to us after Jasper left.

"This life."

"I think it's a good life." Alice said looking around. "I mean I'd spice it up a bit. It looks like my grandparents would live here."

I sighed. Leave it to Alice…

"Um." Rosalie's eyes traveled from Alice back to me. "Bella, I'm really sorry."

"Huh?" I asked being caught off guard.

"Everything I said in the hospital."

"Don't be sorry. Jeez, Rosalie relax!" Alice said taking a seat at the counter. "Bella isn't one to hold grudges for long."

"Yea, Alice is right. Besides in the hospital you just told the truth and so did I, and look how nicely things worked out." I said smiling. "And like Mark Twain said, 'make a speech when you're angry, and you'll make the best speech you'll regret', or something like that."

"Wow, Bella must like you. She just quoted Mark Twain for you." Alice said giggling. "That's like foreplay in her book."

"Heh", was the only response Rosalie gave.

We heard the T.V turn on in the living room and the volume went to full. The boys were watching a commercial for some sort of 5-energy drink.

"What are you worried about?" Alice asked trying to interpret Rosalie's emotions through her face.

I leaned over the counter and examined the dishes and silverware put out. Everything really did look like old people would live here. But I could see Emmett and Rosalie in the kitchen, kissing each other while Rosalie should have been making lunch. I could also see Emmett frisking her by the dishwasher and bending her over the counter…and my over imaginative mind got the best of me.

I silently cursed Miller for providing me with permanent visuals, and drew my attention back to the conversation at hand.

"I'm just…nevermind." Rosalie said looking back at the kettle as it began to hum a soft whistle. She sighed and then finally explained her fears, "I'm just worried I won't be able to take care of Emmett."

"We're all here to help." I said smiling. "But you're the only one that could heal him emotionally. We'll help you out physically anyway we can."

"Except I'm not doing any diaper change." Alice said.

_Ditto…_

Silence.

"Rose, why did you come back?" Alice asked as the kettle began to whistled loudly, begging to be turned off.

Rosalie turned the knob and cut the gas.

"I never left." Rosalie flashed me a smirk as she turned around with the kettle in hand.

"Why didn't you?" I asked.

"Because," she turned her whole body to face me, "you made me think of my life with Rosario…really think about it. And as lavishing and wonderful as it would have been it made me feel empty. I actually made it as far as to the airport before I thought of what I was really giving up. I could live with Emmett in a billion dollar mansion or a cruddy shack…it would be the same to me just because he was there."

"Oh my god that's so romantic." Alice said as her eyes sparkled. She was always a sap for romantic stories.

"Do your parents know?" I asked as Alice looked at me curiously.

"I'm sending them a letter." Rosalie replied as she poured hot water into 3 cups with Linton tea bags.

"Why not call them?"

"My family is Italian. We have a habit of interrupting everyone. I'd never make my words clear."

"Can I read it?" Alice asked trying to understand what we were talking about.

"Sure, it's upstairs though."

"Let's go!" She said getting up from her seat.

"Take your teas." Rosalie said placing the kettle back on the stove. "I'll grab some cookies."

We walked through the living room where the guys were watching a football game on the big screen. We saw Jasper feeding Emmett potato chips and Edward lounging about with his legs crossed on the wooden coffee table.

"Hey boys, we're going to go upstairs to have naked pillow fights on the bed!" Alice squeaked as she ran up.

I knew if I attempted to run up the stairs I would have definitely broken the mug Rose gave me along with my collarbone and maybe a leg or two.

"What!?!" Emmett screamed. "Carry me up! Carry me up!"

"We're just teasing." I said giggling as I measured every step I took up the steps.

"Or are we?" Rosalie replied slyly.

"Don't trip." Edward advised me. I wasn't sure if he meant on the pillow fight or stairs.

"Take pictures." Jasper said nonchalantly.

"Rose! I have a new birthday wish!" Emmett screamed as we made it to the second floor.

"Shou?" She asked in Ukrainian. I figured it meant what.

I was going to be bilingual in no time.

"Threesome!"

Rosalie rolled her eyes as she led us to their room.

"How did you two meet?" Alice asked as she twirled around their room.

"It's a long story. But we met in Ukraine." Rosalie replied as she watched us admire their bedroom.

The bedroom had a king sized bed covered in a royal blue bed spread with a thread count I would not have been able to comprehend. There were dozens of throw pillows scattered around the head of the bed and four bedposts and a handcuff hung on the left one for decoration. The most profound feature of the room was that all of the walls, including the ceiling had mirrors. The floor was such a shiny white marble that I could see my reflection.

"Wow. Sex room much." I commented.

Rosalie grinned as she went over to her nightstand and took out a piece of ivory paper and handed it to Alice. "Want to go somewhere more comfortable?" She asked.

"Yeah…I'm starting to imagine freaky sex between you and Emmett." I replied.

"And it's making her wet beyond belief." Alice finished for me.

"Alice!"

Alice shrugged me off as Rosalie lead us back into the hallway and towards the study.

"Emmett made this house everything I wanted it to be. He's really amazing." Rosalie said as she let us in.

The room was an artist's dream.

The wall on the right was a bookshelf, filled with various leather bond books. The wall directly in front of us was a window looking out into a lake and past the lake a beautiful green forest. The room was rectangular with the window wall being the longest; it gave the room a very spacious feel to it.

"Wow." I whispered at the view. It was stunning.

In front of the window was a tripod holding up canvas paper and a little stool for the artist. On the other wall was a dark wooden desk filled various paint tubes and papers scattered all over.

In the middle of the room were 6 plush chairs arranged in a circle around a small oval wooden coffee table.

"Sit." Rosalie instructed and we placed our teas on the table and took a cookie each.

"I really like the room." I said in approval as I nibbled on my chocolate chip cookie.

"Me too. It's my favorite." Rosalie smiled proudly.

Alice cleared her throat and placed the letter in front of her. "Bonjurno." Alice looked back at Rosalie. "You know I don't speak a speck of Italian except Voulez vous coucher avec mo ice soir."

"That's French." I said recalling it from a song Alice was once in love with years ago.

"Oh. I always did think that it sounded pompous." Alice nodded to herself.

"I'll translate." Rosalie said leaning over towards Alice to see her note better; "Hello. Father, mother, I hope you are both in good health. Umm. Please find it in your hearts to forgive what I have done. I cannot be married to Sir Rosario. I have found love. A love that…eh…ummm…A love that is so passionate that it can fuel the fire of the sun for eternity. Sorry it's hard to translate. Ummm. I plan to one day marry this man because he has done everything for me. I have known him for 6 years. I love him. I do not want to return to Italy and I will not return unless I will be welcomed back and my choices will have been accepted by my beloved parents. Sincerely, Rosalie."

"So your parents are against the two of you?" Alice asked being completely unaware of most aspects of the relationship between Emmett and Rosalie.

"Yes, I was to marry someone else." Rosalie replied sipping from her mug.

"Awwww! That's so tragic and mean! Tell me about how you first met. Please, please, please."

And so Rosalie told her version of their first encounter. Alice fell so madly in love with Rosalie that she begged her to be one of her bride's maids.

Rosalie was hesitant about it.

"Come on pretty please!" Alice begged.

"Alice, I would love for nothing more to say yes…but are you sure? I mean…you warmed up to me awfully fast, I've done so many terrible things."

"Bella's been grrrr at you for those terrible things and you made amends. You're here for good, right?"

"Right." Rosalie nodded.

"And besides, my relationship with you is nowhere near as fast as Edward's and Bella's."

"I resent that."

Alice stuck her tongue out at me. "Things are just meant to be. We're all in relationships with each other."

"Relationships?"

"Well yea. Bella and I are your girl friends now and Jasper and Edward are your male friends. We're here for each other."

"Just please promise me you're here for Emmett. Please don't leave him." I begged.

"I promise." Rosalie nodded. "I want to be here for Emmett."

"Good!" Alice chirped. "Everything okay now?"

"This is really all so overwhelming." Rosalie said looking so vulnerable. It was so hard to register this Rosalie being the same Rosalie I had known.

She had perfected the bitchy persona so well.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"The changes." Rosalie explained. "I mean, everything's just filled upside down."

"Oh…well…Yea they have, haven't they." I realized how different my life was. I didn't have a definition for normal anymore. Nothing was the same. My Same Shit Different Day membership had been terminated. "My life has changed drastically since Edward came into the picture."

"Yeap, and now look at her! She can smile and laugh at my jokes and doesn't look like she has a perpetual cloud looming overhead trying to drown her."

"I wasn't that bad."

Alice gave me that look…the look that asking who was I trying to kid?

She was right. I was always cold and distant and lost in the pages of my books. Now I was warm and friendly to almost everyone. I felt alive and I love to laugh. I enjoyed being immature…well maybe not as much as Emmett and Alice…but in my own special way.

Love had changed me.

Not too drastically of course. I would go back to work the following week and I would read and teach…but I would also have fun, laugh, and love. Adventure wouldn't be just for the pages of the books…it would be for my journal too.

"We want to be your friend." I reassured Rosalie. I really did.

I wanted her to be a part of my new memories.

"Well…yes. I'm…I'm honored that you think so highly of me as to call me your friend." Rosalie said, with sincerity in her voice. "Besides Emmett, my nana was the only person I spoke to freely."

Learning more and more about Rosalie, I realized how much of her life and actions were due to her upbringing and not just her bitchiness. I could relate to her when she spoke about her feelings and the way she described her relationship with Emmett was with the most heartwarming words I had ever heard. I dare not even try to repeat what she said for doing her emotions injustice.

Alice got Rosalie to agree to be one of her Brides Maids for a wedding that she was planning way too soon…next month. But Alice claimed to have everything set up in her head and it wouldn't take much time to put it into action.

I made a mental note to prepare myself for countless hours of useless wedding trivia and crazy late night visits of her being unable to decide what type of fork to use.

"How did you guys meet?" Rosalie asked us as our conversation progressed.

Alice took it upon herself to answer, "I met Bella in elementary school and we've been inseparable since. We've always gotten along, even though she killed my cat."

"Oh my god." I muttered.

"But besides her death streak with all things living, she's a great friend." Alice complimented.

"And she," I said indicating Alice with my thumb, "is out of her mind."

"Whatever."

"What about you and Jasper?" Rosalie asked.

"Me and Jasper met in…OH!!! You haven't smelled it yet!"

"I'm sure she has...I bet the whole damn town has smelled it without knowing it by now. It's permanently embedded with our oxygen."

"Shut up Bella." Alice said cheerfully.

Alice reached inside her purse and brought out the duplicate of the original engagement present.

"That's beautiful." Rosalie commented before Alice sprayed it in her direction.

"The original is remarkable. Diamond and platinum…absolutely breathtaking. Jasper made a ton of copies for me to go spraying as much around as my heart desires."

"Which means suffocating the entire population of Forks."

"Stuff it Bells." Alice replied spraying the perfume in my face.

I began to fake exaggerated coughs but Alice continued to talk to Rosalie, ignoring my false state of pain.

"Jasper and I met through Bella actually."

"How old is he? He seems awfully young."

"He just turned 21 recently. I'm a cougar. I can't help it."

"Age is just a number." I said snatching the perfume bottle from Alice.

"Hey! Give that back!"

"Not until the days over. You can kill Jasper's sense of smell on your own time. I personally prefer to be able to smell."

"Hmph." Alice pouted.

"Are relationships hard?" Rosalie whispered softly.

Alice glanced at me, unsure if we should answer or not.

"Well of course they are. They're always going to be hard. Edward and I just started so we're on the happy and carefree train but I'm sure a stop is coming up, we just have to make sure not to get off." I said.

"Eventually you find obstacles that you have to hurdle through." Alice continued. "I mean first half year with Jasper was just perfect 1960's courtship. Then we had our first argument over money. He hated when I paid, but come on, he was 18 and without a job. So to solve the problem, he got a summer internship and opened a joint account with me. That became our money which we both had cards to. It worked for us. Most of the money goes into that account and neither of us has kept track of who contributed more or not. It's our money."

"But you know you've put in more right? I mean you own your own company." Rosalie tried to reason.

"Not necessarily. Actually, Jasper created a…ummm…techno-something-something-emissions-something-something-engine for N.A.S.A and patented it. He got 2 million dollars for it and bought the house we're currently living in. He tried so hard to hide it…he really sucks with surprises." Alice mused.

"Wow." Rosalie said being impressed.

"I think, well for Jasper and I, we can't keep tabs on things. Also another big fight we always have stems from our personalities. I could lock Jasper up in the basement with a drill thingie and a computer and some wood and he'd be happy for a week. But when Jasper becomes engulfed in his work, it pisses me off…it's selfish of me. I know, but still. I want him to spend time with me, not his computer stuff."

"What do you do about stuff like that?" Rosalie asked.

"Simple. Every Saturday is our time. Only me and him. And another rule we have is, unless it's a business trip or something, always come home by 7 P.M."

"You develop little rules and traditions along the way." I said reassuringly. I was looking forward for when Edward and I would have our own special traditions.

"You should be excited." Alice chirped. "It's a wonderful thing to belong to someone. Just believe in your relationship."

"Emmett taught me that." Rosalie said.

"What?" I asked misunderstanding.

"Emmett taught me to believe in our relationship." Rosalie clarified.

"Awwww." Alice smiled sweetly. "These boys are really something."

I twirled Alice's engagement present in my hands.

_They really are something special. _

"Jasper taught me how to trust." Alice said sorrowfully as she watched me play with her beloved gift. "I didn't realize how untrusting I was until last week. I'm changing that."

"Edward…Edward taught me to love." I said.

* * *

**A/N: _Not the end_...NOT THE END! NOOOOOT THE END!!!! **

Thank you for reading! I just realized when FF was down that 90 percent of my self esteem stems from reviews. With that guilt trip in mind, review please! Thank you :)


	30. Marry me?

**Dear Edward,**

**Marry me?**

**Bella**


	31. You, me, a love story, and a ring

_**EDWARD POV! EDWARD POV! EDWARD POV! EDWARD POV! EDWARD POV! **_

_**

* * *

**__**EDWARD POV! EDWARD POV! EDWARD POV! EDWARD POV! EDWARD POV! **_

**3 years, 9 months later. **

Winter break was going exactly as planned, well maybe not exactly but it was following the plan close enough for me not to panic. We started with a week in New York with Alice, Jasper, their 3 year old daughter Coco, along with Rosalie, Emmett, and their golden retriever Piroghi. Emmett refused to travel anywhere without Piroghi since Rosalie got him for Emmett as a gift for their 'official' one year anniversary. Also Piroghi seemed to only listen to Emmett, so it was impossible to leave him with anyone else to petsit for vacations.

We saw the grand opening of Alice's brand new line for children dedicated to Coco, called Coco Pixie and the whole time Emmett was trying to convince Alice to open up a pet line because Piroghi needed some more fashionable clothes. Emmett treated Piroghi like his little baby; it sometimes repulsed Rosalie when he would literally feed Piroghi with a spoon. But Emmett would be Emmett.

We did the touristy sightseeing business and Alice bought us tickets for a Broadway show every night. Coco didn't like Broadway shows since they required too much sitting still and her blood seemed to be made out of sugar, which is probably a direct trait from her mother. After the massive complaining from Coco, Jasper rented Disney movies to watch with her and Piroghi while we went to see our nightly shows. Jasper was so in love with his fierce little blue eyed blonde princess that he reverted back to his childhood self whenever she wanted to play.

Our of all the shows we saw, Spring Awakening ended up being Bella's favorite, although I loved the classic Phantom of the Opera. Alice and Rosalie did insane amounts of shopping while Emmett, Jasper, Coco, and Piroghi in a custom made dog stroller raided all the toy stores. Bella and I got to spend some time together but usually one of us was being dragged off by another group. It was alright, because when the week would be over, I'd have Bella all to myself.

On the last day of our group vacation, Alice, Rosalie, Bella, and Coco went to the Spa at Mandarin Oriental while the rest of us went to meet with one of my Simon G. representatives for the ring I had requested. Everyone approved, I only hoped Bella would too.

I had ordered the Marquise Classic Engagement Ring by Simon G. with a specific request of replacing their diamond with one of my own. My great-great-great grandmother had been a world renowned jewel collector back in her time and her collection had gone unnoticed until I was forced to go through my inheritance. She had collected the rarest diamonds in the world, ranging from purple to red to colors I didn't even believe existed within the diamonds species. I choose the large blue diamond she had as the center piece diamond for Bella's ring.

Engraved on the ring I put "The Lion & The Lamb", although Emmett commented that Rosalie's engraving on their wedding ring beat that. Rosalie had Emmett's ring engraved with, "Put it Back On" since Emmett hated wearing rings and kept wanting to take it off before working out. Emmett of course, not wanting to be out witted by his darling, got Rosalie's ring engraved with "Resistance is Futile" when he discovered her plans.

But this ring was for Bella. My sweet Bella. My lamb, my kitten, my angel. And I had the perfect plan of proposing to her.

Perfect.

In Australia.

We were the first to leave N.Y.C, Emmett, Rosalie, and Piroghi were leaving the next day to vacation on Isle Esme as everyone had nicknamed it after Alice 'gifted' it. Apparently Rosalie decided she wanted children after Alice found out she was 2 weeks pregnant with her second…so I doubted there would be much relaxation between the two. Alice, Jasper, and Coco were staying in New York City for the rest of the break for the Antique Auction of Gucci. While Esme and Carlisle decided to remain in Forks and spend time with their four wonderful adopted children.

Bella and I had a midnight flight departing from J.F.K airport to Sydney, Australia. The whole taxi ride there Bella kept spouting useless facts about Australia…she couldn't have been more excited.

"Apparently the first European settlers in Australia drank more alcohol per person than any other community in the history of mankind."

I did not plan to get her drunk, but she was fascinated by their alcoholic consumption.

"In 1954 Bob Hawke made it into the Guinness Record Book: he sculled 2.5 pints of beer in 11 seconds. Bob Hawke went on to become the Prime Minister of Australia."

I could only laugh at her silly curiosity as I paid the taxi driver and carried our bags inside.

We went through security swiftly and only waited an hour in the reserved section for first class before boarding. She continued reading off from the "Fun Facts of the Aussie life!" that she bought in the Barnes and Nobles in Union Square. I was more than happy to sit through all the useless information she provided.

"Australia has the world's largest population of wild camels with one hump."

"Really? We'll have to rid one." I said.

"There are more than 150 million sheep in Australia, and only some 20 million people."

"Bahhh." She slapped me for that one.

"The Australian Alps, or Snowy Mountains as they are also known, receive more snow than Switzerland."

I would have suggesting climbing them but my Bella wasn't one for hiking.

"The Sydney Opera House roof weighs more than 161,000 tons."

Little did she know I was going to propose to her after our visit to the Opera house tomorrow.

She only lasted till 1 A.M Eastern time before passing out in the plane. 22 hours later, and a very confused feeling of jetlag, we arrived in Sydney. Unsure on how to feel with the time zone difference we decided not to sleep until Australia's sun goes down.

Bella tripped over her own feet as we went to the baggage claim. Thankfully I caught and steadied her before she caused herself any real harm. She agreed not to walk and read after giving me a thank you for saving me kiss. After we got our luggage, we were picked up by the complimentary shuttle provided by our Hotel. The drive was short and Bella managed to take a ten minute nap on my shoulder. Still having her in my arms after all these years was a pleasure that I savored and I hoped I would be able to show just how much she meant to me with my proposal.

While checking into the Observatory Hotel, Bella kept yawning so we decided to walk around the beautiful streets of Australia instead of going up the penthouse suite where we would probably fall asleep.

I managed to convince my beautiful angel not to bring the Australia fun fact book with her. She obliged without a complaint and the kind lady behind the front desk held onto it for us.

We walked out of the marble floored, chandelier hanging, old fashion decorated hallway and into the outside world. I've been having trouble registering our surroundings when around my girlfriend.

Bella gave my hand a squeeze as we walked out of the hotel and I looked down at admired her angelic face. She had laugh lines from always smiling and crow's feet at the corner of her eyes from the countless nights we forgot to sleep.

She was beautiful, her pouty lips were mine for kissing and her deep brown eyes were mine for staring. She was mine for loving.

"What?" She asked me perplexed at my deep gaze.

"You know how beautiful you are?"

"Edward." She grinned slyly, but I could see the pink blush forming on her cheeks. "You're far prettier than me."

It was a pet peeve of mine that she called me pretty. She always knew how to tease me.

"Let's go down here?" I asked pointing down a random street.

She nodded and we were off.

The streets were filled with smiling faces and every store we walked into we were greeted with "G'day mates!" which caused Bella's face to glow with excitement. She was loving the accents and even tried to imitate them.

"G'day mate!" She would respond back with a huge open mouthed smile, and then she would whisper to me, "How was that? Less touristy?"

This was our fifth vacation together, and our second vacation without company. I took her to Greece the first summer we were dating and she literally refused to get on the plane when it was time to leave. So I had to extend the visit for another month before she was satisfied. Leave it to Bella to need to see every single aspect of my life in Greece. She had to go to the same coffee shops I went to and the same book stores. She had to walk the same block I did when I was going home from work. She had to go to the all the places I got my inspiration from. She just _had_ to…and I just had to make her happy.

After an exhausting summer vacation in Greece, we went to Esme's island for winter break with everyone. On that trip, Alice ended up giving birth to her first child on the island. It was amazing…and disgusting. Whoever tries to glorify childbirth has watched too many thriller flicks. We were so grateful the medical team was able to get there within twenty minutes of Alice's water breaking. Jasper was in such a panic he fainted…twice. Emmett screamed like a girl and Rose threatened to break his arm, and then proceeded to hit him every time Alice screamed. Alice and Bella seemed to be the only sane ones. I was slightly panicked as well…I mean, since Jasper passed out, it was my arm Alice was squeezing.

Our next trip was to Italy during summer break with everyone which was actually meant for Emmett to met Rosalie's parents…which turned into a disaster but that's why we planned the family reunion the day before we were scheduled to fly back home.

For the following winter break we went to California so Emmett could introduce his wife to his parents, which went slightly better if you consider his mother had only one breakdown and there were no death threats. Em's mother cried the whole time when she realized she had been missing out on her son's life. She now calls to talk to Rose and Emmett daily and even Emmett's father calls to say hello once in a while although I think he is still keeping a grudge on Emmett for not inviting them to the wedding. Rose and Em figured that it would be best not to invite any family members…they would have done a Courthouse wedding if Rosalie didn't love all things grand…and Alice made sure the wedding was grandest ever.

The following summer, we took another group trip to Japan for Alice's chain store openings. That was a very fun and adventurous trip, where all of us went sky diving and cross dressing. Thankfully no pictures were taken of the later event.

And now, just Bella and I, we were in Australia.

This would be the trip I would propose.

"I love life, don't you?" She turned to me after she asked the baker for a fresh loaf of bread.

"I love you in my life." I responded as the baker handed Bella a thick loaf of delicious smelling bread in a brown bag.

I handed the cashier my credit card and smiled at Bella.

She was more than everything to me. If she would not exist…my life would have no meaning.

We walked around some more, sharing a loaf of bread and talking about our dear friends.

"I can't believe Alice is expecting another one." She said as she looked up at the beautiful trees that shaded us from the sun. I could tell she was enjoying the weather. Another perk about Australia that she reminded me of as we landed, was that it was summertime during our winter season.

"I wonder if she will name the kid Puffs." I joked.

"Coco Puffs." She let out a giggle. "I doubt it. She told me she doesn't want to know if it's a boy or girl this time. Jasper really wants to know though, plus I think he's been mentally preparing himself for round two."

"I'd want to know if I was Jasper too." I said, hoping she got my underlining hint.

She looked up at me and gave a wicked grin as she broke off another piece of bread and put it in her mouth. "If I were pregnant, I'd find out and not tell you."

Every single time she made a reference to our future together, she justified my reason for living.

I couldn't wait to propose to her tomorrow.

"Well, isn't that sweet of you." I said letting go of her hand and wrapped my arm around her small shoulders and pulled her close to me. "I love you." I kissed her on the top of her head and wished she was already my wife. Sometimes I wished I had already proposed but after the big leap we took into our relationship, I wanted it to feel natural to her.

"I love you too." She said smiling as she handed me another piece of bread. I opened my mouth and she placed it in.

She gasped, "Oh, we need to call Rose and Alice. I promised I'd call them."

"Sweetheart it's like 3 in the morning for them right now." I said after I finished chewing.

"Oh, I keep forgetting the time zone difference."

"We'll call them in the morning or later tonight." I reassured her. "How's Rose doing? I heard Emmett say she's getting off the birth control."

"Yeap." Bella said popping the p. "She wants to have children."

"Because of Alice?" I asked.

"Partially yes. She loves Coco and wants to have a baby girl too. And also because her father called to wish Emmett Happy Birthday last month." Bella said grinning. "Oh! Look, a park! Let's go over there." Bella tugged me towards the park entrance.

"There's a bridge there too." I said pointing ahead.

"We can feed the ducks the bread." She said smiling as I grabbed her hand again.

I returned to the previous topic as we crossed the street, "But does this mean that Rose's parents are okay with them now?"

"I don't know. I just found out about it last week from Rose. Apparently when Em told her, she threw out all her birth control and proceed to screw his brains out…her words not mine."

"Emmett didn't tell her right away?"

"Nope, Emmett kept it hush-hush for a while. He explained that he was convinced ninja assassins sent by his father in law were after him." Bella replied in an over emphasized whisper.

"Somehow, I see that making sense in his head." In Emmett's head everything made sense.

"Hehe. Oh! Baby, look at that duck, it has an orange neck." She squeaked.

I looked where she was pointing to.

"Yeah, and look over there. Behind the lily pad, the two black swans."

"Oh my god! I've never seen black swans before. They're so beautiful." Bella was in complete awe as we stood in the middle of the wooden bridge looking over the lake.

"Throw them some bread." I encouraged her.

"Are you sure?"

"Of course."

We were there till the early evening feeding the ducks and swans and talking about our lives. Bella just finished reading my new novel that would be published and available to the public next month and was giving me her insightful criticism.

"I loved the part where she said I love you in her sleep." She grinned as we walked out of the park. "I wonder where you got that idea from."

"Inspiration comes from experience." I replied grinning like a fool. I still remembered the first that she said she loved me. Unconscious, half drunk, with drool crust on the edge of her mouth…it was the most beautiful thing on the planet.

We arrived back to the hotel before the sun set and we decided to order room service as she went to take a shower. We had plenty of time to visit lavishing restaurants, like the one we would go to tomorrow. I had managed to reserve the whole place, with a world class piano player to play the many songs I've written for her and a dance floor in the middle with no one to watch her so she could dance as foolishly as she wanted.

That was the plan.

I asked her if she wanted company in the shower but with a sly wink she said she wanted to consume real food some time tonight. She did have a point; once we got started we usually kept going till we passed out, and I wasn't doing a good job of taking care of her since all she had for the past 35 or so hours was airplane food and half a loaf of bread.

I picked up the hotel phone and order her the salmon dish with a bowl fresh fruits for desert and I got myself the steak with chocolate mousse for desert. I didn't bother ordering the salad since none of them had bleu cheese…and Bella somehow got me addicted to that condiment.

I looked at the closed bathroom door.

If ten years ago someone would have told me that my life would turn out this way I would have called them some of the worst names available within the English language.

The past four years of my life were the best I've ever had. Everything was more than I could ever hope for…well there was one thing that I still hoped for but I was no one way going to push for it.

I wished that one day, Bella would write again. Her writing saved my life, it bound me to her spirit, and was the original reason I fell in love with her. Of course, my love for Bella had developed throughout the years to something unbreakable and perfect…it still didn't change my desire to read her writing.

I took off the black polo Bella bought me last month for 'just because I love you' day. She did that often, and I can't say that I minded it at all. She told me she would let me pay for everything as long as she could buy me presents whenever she pleased. That was the first compromise we made.

The second one was over sex toys. I agreed that they would be fun to try in the bedroom but I just didn't want her stuffing a dildo into her pussy when mine was ready for use any time she touched me. So we settled on external vibrators.

The third big argument we made was over the car. I wanted to get her one but she refused to drive because it was too scary for her. Though there were times I had to go out for a book signing and she had to teach class and I wanted her to be taken care of. Thankfully Rose stepped in and drove Bella around for the weeks I was gone. We're still trying to find a common ground on that argument.

But I enjoyed it nevertheless. Every moment with Bella. When she would under dress and get sick – I would spend the week taking care of her. When she would get so engorged in a book that she forgot to sleep or cuddle with me. The nights when she would get so heated about what an author said about another author that she would spend the whole day and night dissecting every single word that was said instead of kissing me. It was all wonderful. Every little thing she did that made her – well her. My Bella. I loved every quirky aspect.

I loved how when I finished my new novel she locked herself up in our newly rebuilt library and refused to come out until she finished reading. I loved how every single page had comments in the margins.

To be blunt, I loved how much she loved me.

I especially loved when I found out she was taking Greek classes secretly. Of course, she only managed it to keep it a secret for 3 sessions before I found out, but it was the thought that counted.

I took out the little black box from the pocket of my jeans and put it into the drawer on the nightstand.

I believed she would say yes to marrying me, but a part of me was still scared of the changes that would undoubtedly occur. I mean, we'd be husband and wife. I was comfortable with where we currently stood in our relationship but a part of me wanted a little more…maybe it was a subconscious desire to start a family, or maybe I wanted to be like everyone else.

After all, we were the only couple in our little cliché that still haven't made the marriage commitment, which was surprising considering how fast we moved in the beginning of the relationship. I just knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Bella and what better way to do it than to make her my wife.

Since Jasper knew about the ring, I was almost certain Alice was already designing dresses for Bella to pick from. I knew Bella would look beautiful in anything. Although, imagining her walking down the aisle in a white long dress had my heart racing.

A knock at the door retracted me from my wedding fantasy. I went to open it just as the shower water in the bathroom stopped. I let room service in and gave the man a 20 dollar tip after he set up the cart.

_No need to be cheap. _

After ten minutes of waiting and flipping through mindless channels on the flat screen television, Bella finally came out in the adorable baby blue silk pajamas that Rosalie got her for Christmas. I loved blue on her. It was her color.

"Hello gorgeous." I said sitting on the edge of the king sized bed.

"Hi." She said crawling into my arms and cuddled close to my chest.

Holding her warm body in my arms and breathing her fresh strawberry freesia scent was heavenly. But her stomach grumbled and I gave her a final squeeze before letting her go. I needed to make sure my baby was happy and healthy.

We grabbed our plates and ate them on the bed laughing at a sitcom on T.V.

Even something as simple as watching T.V and eating with her was a magical event. The way she giggled and snorted when she laughed too hard was angelic. The way she glanced at me from the corner of her eyes made my heart skip a beat.

Every minute of our dinner I wanted to just blurt out and ask her to marry me. The ring was so close and I knew that the 3 words would roll off my tongue smoothly.

But I didn't ask. I kept my ground and my self-made promise.

I was going to make it a night to remember. I was going to make her feel like a princess when I asked.

After dinner and desert was over we stayed cuddled in bed, watching the rest of The Big Bang Theory episode. She admitted to having a newly developed crush on Lenard.

"And here I thought my only competition was Mark Twain." I teased her.

She giggled at me and placed her fingers between the gaps of my own. Holding hands with her brought a jolt of electricity to my nerves that made my palms sweat and lustful desire rise. I turned to kiss her and then I noticed an expression of worry in her face.

"Love, is everything okay?"

"Yea." She said unsure, and then I noticed how her legs were fidgeting.

"Bella?" She was making me worry.

"Edward, can you wait here. Just for a moment?"

"Why? Is everything okay?"

"I just need to get something." Bella said letting go of my hand and crawled out of bed. She walked towards the closet. I sat up watching as she opened it up and tugged out one of the large L.V luggage bags we bought for the trip.

She unzipped the front pocket and took out a thick stack of papers and walked over to me with it. I noticed that she took small measured steps towards me, as though she was walking to her doom.

I was confused and terrified. Somehow fearing the papers held some sort of bad news that she couldn't say herself.

Bella was rarely this nervous.

"Can you read this?" She asked handing it to me.

"What it is it?" I asked grabbing it from her trembling hands.

"Just read it. Please."

The first page read, "Teach Me to Love by Bella Swan."

"Bella, did you write this?" I looked up at her. She somehow looked ashamed.

She nodded.

"Come here love, lay with me. I'll read it. I promise."

"Right now?"

"Right now."

She gave me a weak smile and crawled back into bed with me.

I flipped her manuscript over to the first page.

"Same Shit Different Day?" I chuckled at the title.

"Shhh, no comments. Just read." She begged of me.

"Alright." I agreed and let myself get lost in her story.

I let out another chuckle when Jasper reminded her of what she wrote to me. My Bella had such a way with words.

Bella shifted slightly and I placed my hand on her thigh and began to rub it, reassuring her that I was enjoying the story.

"I dazzled you?" I asked as I read the second chapter.

"Shhh, you promised no comments." I heard her mutter into my shoulder.

She must have been blushing bright red at that point.

I was slightly hurt by the "Esme deserved better company" but I knew that she thought poorly of me at that point. Hell, I would have thought poorly of me in her shoes too.

I loved seeing the world through her eyes and understanding how she felt when everything was happening.

"I like the Australia comment." I said grinning in chapter three.

I adored how angry she was at me in chapter four. It was enticing and anger suited her. Although, I did try to be on her good side most of the time.

Most of the time. It was impossible to be a good boy all the time. After all, when else would we have the rough passionate sex?

I was amazed at how many times she mentioned my sunset eyes yet she never referred to them that way out loud before.

My eyes could not pull away from the paper and I flipped each page, feverishly awaiting the next line. I relished the memory of our first semi date in the restaurant with everyone.

The vodka. The olives. The passing out. And all the good stuff in-between.

I was honored how much time and dedication she put into my published works when she was trying to figure me out. I gave her a kiss on the head and she just grumbled something unintelligible back at me.

I continued reading.

"Edward will be single too, eh?" I mumbled not expecting a response from my little embarrassed sunshine.

From the upcoming chapters, I learned about Emmett's and Bella's relationship that made certain things about them comprehendible. Then I understood why she had such a deep desire to take care of him and make sure he was happy. I also learned why Jasper got the black eye.

I found out she dreamed of me in chapter fourteen.

"Wow, you kept this?" I asked as I turned to chapter fifteen.

"It's only the copy of the letter you wrote. The original is laminated and in the memory box." Bella replied turning over on her side so her back was to me.

"Oh honey, come on. I'll finish reading this later if it's too embarrassing for you."

"No, you have to finish it tonight."

And so I listened to my maybe-hopefully-soon-to-be-wife and continued reading.

I understood how her heart was tortured with the prospect of loving me or if she even did love me in the first place. She revealed to me her inspiration of the response she gave me and Carlisle and Esme earned a new found respect from me for all they've been through.

"Haha, you had condoms in the cabinet." I couldn't keep myself from chuckling.

I loved reading the dirty bits and most of all I loved the italics she made to symbolize her thoughts. That was one of my deepest wishes, to one day be able to read her thoughts…very invasive on personal space but I was always intrigued by what went on in her head.

Now I knew that it was fifty percent smut and fifty percent love and care.

"Oh, you made a spelling mistake here." I noticed and as soon as the words left my lips she kicked me in the leg. Not footsie-kick-in-the-leg-giggle-giggle but hard-kick-in-the-leg-die-bitch-die kind of kick.

I didn't point out anymore mistakes she made.

It broke my heart to read what she experienced with flash backs of her father's death. I tried my best to be there for her but I never understood what she was going through and I didn't ask her about it. I figured if she wanted to tell me – she would. Apparently she did want to tell me.

My suspicions were confirmed. My baby socked Rosalie. That made me smirk.

"Oh this is one of my favorite moments." I said as I was getting to the part where Rosalie was waiting for Emmett.

Bella rolled over and cocked her eyebrow at me. "What part?" She finally spoke to me after hours of silence while I read.

"Rosalie and Emmett reuniting."

"Oh." Bella's eyes widened as she quickly sat up. "You're near the end."

"Yes?" I asked.

"Keep reading." She said staring dead at me.

"Am I allowed to comment?"

"Not until the last page." She said and bit her lip as she fumbled with her fingers on her lap.

So I continued reading. And on the last line of that chapter I couldn't wipe the smile off my face if I wanted to.

I taught her how to love.

Those were the most beautiful words ever written.

I turned to the last page.

**Dear Edward, **

**Marry me? **

**Bella **

I thought my eyes were deceiving me. I had to reread it.

It said the same thing.

I looked up at Bella, whose eyes were overflowing with worry. She looked like she was on the verge of a breakdown.

I was a day late apparently.

I smiled at her and leaned in to kiss her lips softly.

"What kind of response is that?" She snapped at me.

I understood her reaction completely and couldn't help from laughing a little. I mean, she just asked me to marry her and in less than twenty-four hours I had planned to do the same. She looked ready to slap me and possibly kill me.

"One second love." I said leaning over towards the nightstand. I opened the drawer and got out the little black box that I was saving for tomorrow.

I popped the cover open to reveal the blue diamond engagement ring, and showed it to her.

"Will you marry me?" I asked.

We were both in bed and I wasn't wearing a shirt and she was in her pajamas with her hair still wet and wild like a haystack. I didn't go down on my knee and there was no romantic candlelit dinner with music in the background. Just me, her, a love story, and an engagement ring.

"I will if you will." She replied back as a single tear escaped her eye.

"I will." I said.

"I do." She said.

I carefully took out the simple platinum, blue diamond ring from the box and placed it on her dainty little ring finger.

It fit perfectly.

"It's perfect." She said taking the words right out of my mouth.

"So are you." I smiled.

"I'm so telling everyone I proposed first." She said leaning towards me for a kiss.

"Whatever you want, my fiancé." I said testing the word out before our lips connected.

* * *

**A/N**: This is the official end of the story...but I plan to do one shots once in a while after this in different PoV's of the missing scenes. Like in Greece and Italy...weddings, pregnancies, juicy lemons, and such. I'll be concentrating on my other two stories for the most part though, so check them out if you'd like.

I love you all, and thank you so much for reading and review. I love you!!! Hope you enjoyed the ride! LOVE YOU!


	32. I'll stop the world and melt with you

**A/N:** Pickles, peanut butter, chocolate pudding, frozen strawberries…and you get an update and I; a stomach ache. It took me a while to figure out how to connect two situations without feeling bored. Enjoy…

* * *

**Edward PoV (The day of the last real BPoV chapter) **

I watched as Bella wrote down my cell phone number and Alice dictated Bella's since she still didn't remember it. I made a mental note to work on Bella's techno-suaveness.

"Call us at any time, oh and here's Esme's home number."

"Bella! Alice! Come on," Jasper demanded for the nth time as he leaned against the doorframe. We'd been saying our goodbyes for too long to even count the first ten "we'll be going now". The first attempt to leave resulted in Rosalie wanting to show off a painting, and then Bella _had_ to give her an oatmeal recipe that would be good for Emmett, and Alice _had_ to go show off her new designs…and a few other twenty 'we-have-to-do' things.

Emmett, Jasper, and I just passed sly comments towards one another as we watched our loves prolong 8 P.M to 9 P.M to 10 P.M. I was sitting on the arm of the overstuffed chair, with Emmett next to me and Jasper near the door. He seemed most eager to leave.

"Man, that skirt is so…" Jasper muttered to himself as Alice bent over to pick up the pen Bella accidently dropped.

"The makeup sex must be amazing…" I mused.

"You have no idea…" Jasper replied in a slightly dreamy voice.

"Man, one more word of sex from either of you and I'll make sure to cock-block you every damn day till I get out of this cast." Emmet growled.

"Can't have sex?" I asked curiously.

"Unless Rosalie wants to become a new member of Circus De Sole. I can't have any pressure on my thighs or ribs for the next two months."

"That wouldn't be a problem…Alice is soooooo flexable…" Jasper muttered cocking his head to the side as he continued to undress his fiancée with his eyes.

"Stop having mental sex," Emmett whined.

"Or what?" Jasper challenged with a huge fake post-orgasmic smirk on his face as he and Em's eyes met.

"Or I might suggest Alice spends the night…"

"So?"

"Guess who'll have to give me a diaper change when Alice and Rose are asleep?"

"Below the belt…" Jasper raised his hands in defeat.

"Okay, we realllllly have to get going now," Alice squeaked as she took a step towards us.

_I don't even believe it anymore…_

"Oh wait, you said you'd show us the basement!" Bella interrupted, and Alice spun towards the girls.

_See? _

"Oh yeah!"

"Come on, I'll show you. Emmett did a great job turning it into a lounge. Pool table and everything. There's even this leather couch that feels great." Rosalie led the way, and there went another false goodbye.

We remained in the hallway, staring at the girl's behinds as they walked away. Bella's ability to sway her hips side to side so effortlessly and teasingly was making me want to spank her three ways to Sunday.

"I can't wait to get out of this shit." Emmett said with a sigh.

"Dude, be happy you're not paralyzed. Besides, now when you get out you'll be human sized instead of hulk sized," Jasper reasoned as he banged his head against the wall.

We loved all the girls….but seriously. We all planned to be back tomorrow, and wanted to each spend some alone time.

"You know those bite sized candies? I swear those tiny snickers taste better then the originals," I said – it's amazing how easy it is to divert conversations.

"Ugh, now I want a Reese's," Jasper flashed me a dirty look.

"Reese's got it right the first time with the cups, all the other shit they've come up with has been epic fail."

"No way, Reese's pie and ice cream is fucking amazing," I defended the peanut butter chocolaty goodness.

"I prefer me some fried Oreo ice cream," Jasper said.

"I've never had fried ice cream," Emmett mused.

"I've got a southern recipe that I'd literally die and go to heaven for every time my ma would make it," Jasper said.

"He means it quite literally. I bet it has fried chicken in it," I teased.

"Not every southern meal has fried chicken," He defended.

"Fuck, now I'm horny and hungry," Emmett groaned.

"Me too," Jasper and I said at the same time.

Then we heard giggling as the girls approached us again. One could only pray that the end would be coming soon.

"Okay, totally ready to go now, Rose. We'll be over tomorrow morning." Bella said giving her hug and that gave me hope…but they hugged goodbye seven times throughout this ridiculous prolonged exchange of farewells….

"Thank you so much, both of you," Rosalie hugged both Bella and Alice.

Now, they approached us…

"Oh!" Alice squeaked.

And there went that goodbye.

We all looked at the little pixie.

"Never mind! I just remembered I need to throw an engagement party soon," Alice said as she skipped towards Jasper.

They made contact with a soft kiss, and Bella came into my welcoming arms.

"Hey, baby," I whispered to my sweet angel's ear as she blushed.

"Okay, you guys shoooo. Emmett and I need our alone time." Rosalie said opening the door.

_Sha-BANG! _

_I do believe we have lift off. _

We finally gave our real goodbyes to the couple, promising to visit tomorrow as we walked out. Emmett reminded us of the football bet we placed on tomorrow's game. I had a feeling I was going to be out of 50 bucks. I watched Rosalie wave goodbye as she wheeled Emmett back into their house.

Jasper opened the door to the short bus and Bella tugged at my pants gently. I looked down at my cutie, who was looking at me with her big brown eyes. She really looked like a helpless kitten and I couldn't help myself from kissing her nose.

"Can we walk?" She whispered, and I nodded.

I wouldn't deny her anything…except, maybe; if she ever wanted to join the ministry…I'd be strongly opposed to that.

"Hey, we're going to walk home," I said in a loud clear voice to Alice and Jasper.

"You sure?" Jasper asked as he slid out of the short bus driver's seat.

"Yeah, it's only like an hour away," I reasoned as Alice and Bella exchanged a girl kiss and hug.

Jasper and I shook hands and my love and I watched them get back on the short bus.

"Get this hunk of junk into a car wash!" Bella screamed as she waved goodbye, as though she was a sailor's wife seeing him off for a long mission.

When they were out of sight, Bella took a deep breath and smiled at me.

I was grateful for my photographic memory, because I was burning every detail of her smile into my mind. "Let's go?" She asked as she tugged my arm up the block.

"Wrong one, kitten," I smirked as she did a terribly clumsy twirl, grabbed my hand and walked the other way. Everything she did made me smile.

"It's a beautiful night," she said looking up at the stars.

"Mmm," I nodded but I couldn't look away from her face. A million stars in the sky were not worth looking at when I had her near me.

"I really love this about Forks, the rare nights when the clouds are all gone. It's just…perfect."

"Yes you are," I said being completely corny and gaining a giggle from her. I was willing to make a fool of myself over and over just to hear her wonderful laugh.

We walked, swinging our hands, being all couply and silly, stopping every few steps to have a quick heated twenty second make out. Our one hour trip home was turning into a two hour with all our distractions.

Although eventually Bella said; "Can we talk?", which killed the mood a bit.

"Eh?" She caught me off guard.

"We need to talk," she clarified and looked at me concerned.

We passed a lamp post and my shadow danced across her face, as I waited for her to continue. Thanks to movies, novels, and pop culture, whenever a woman said, "we need to talk" – bad thoughts traveled through my head.

"I don't know how to say it…" She bit her lip as she looked down.

_Not good. _

My heart began to race and my body temperature rose at least five degrees as she tried to continue with fumbled words, "Uh…It's like….ugh….oh my ….blah, I sound so…oh god! I don't want to break up," She stopped in her tracks and looked up at me with the most innocent eyes.

It seemed as though she just realized what she sounded like.

"I just….I'm scared. We need to take it slow."

I raised an eyebrow.

"I love you, Edward."

"I love you, Bella," I replied with a soft smile as I gently pushed a stray piece of hair behind her ear, "What is it you're scared of?"

"Everything's hit me so hard so fast. I've never…ever….ever….felt like this. I didn't think I'd ever fall in love or be this happy. Or even have friends besides Alice and Jasper."

"Don't forget Esme and Carlisle," I grinned teasingly. I finally caught on what she was getting at.

"I mean…I thought I'd become that old lonely lady with books for furniture and 42 cats."

"And a depressing robot?" I couldn't help myself from The Hitchhiker's reference.

"Edward! I just thought things would be different. I have other things to look forward to now."

"Is what you have to look forward to bad?" I asked, carefully.

"No, not at all. I just want to have it in the future for a while."

"Baby, can you elaborate?" I made sure to keep my voice smooth, to let her know I was respecting every single word that was coming out of her mouth.

She nodded as she continued, "I want to marry you one day, Edward Cullen…I mean if you'll have me as your wife…I mean…ugh. I don't want to get married right now and I don't want to have children right now," she said pleadingly with her eyes for me to understand her.

"Well you're not married and not popping out any babies right now," I teased her.

She pouted, "Edward be serious!"

"I am!" I replied defensively as I pulled her closely to me till her chin was pressed against my chest.

"Edwarddddd…" She whined, "I'm serious. It's important to me right now…I don't want to move too fast. I'm scared this is all too good to be true."

"Bella, I'm not leaving you," I told her what she needed to hear.

"I know," she replied, but her voice was unsure.

"We'll be okay."

"This isn't right. It's not suppose to go like this. There's suppose to be courting, and…and…"

"And-and-and?" I chuckled, "Bella, would you like to go to the movies next Friday night?"

Her eyes widened as it took her a moment to realize what I was doing.

I was slowing things down for her. I was in the driver's seat and she picked the speed limit. We were going at 90, and now she wanted to go at 30. That was fine. I didn't care how fast or how slow we went, because we were together.

"Yes, I'd like that," she went up on her tippy toes, and I bent my neck down to kiss her softly on the lips.

"I'll get one of the other bedrooms cleaned and fixed up, so you could have your own room at the house," I added hoping to give her the reassurance she needed.

"No!" She gripped my sides in surprise to my words, "I want to sleep with you."

_Okay…how could I pass that up? _

"Sleep with me, eh?" I wiggled my eyebrow suggestively.

"Not like that! Well…yes, like that. I mean…sleep sleep too. Like snoring sleep."

"You don't snore, you mumble," I countered.

"Edward!" She slapped my chest playfully as she tried to move away from me, but I held her hips tightly, keeping her as close to me as possible.

"Bella," I whispered seductively.

"I just don't want to do anything till the times right."

"Then we'll be boyfriend and girlfriend for ten – twenty – thirty years, till it feels right."

"How will we know when it's right though?" She asked, genially perplexed.

_So that's what's eating her. _

"Just how we know, right now isn't the right time."

"You know right now isn't the right time?"

"Yes," I placed a kiss on her forehead, "and sweetheart please talk to me as soon as your head conjures all these thoughts of fear. Please. We'll take it slow. I'll do all the courting you want. Flowers, chocolate, movie nights, fancy-smancy dinners…all that. Alright?"

"Alright," she smiled and all the burden she was secretly carrying disappeared from her eyes. She truly looked happy again.

"Let's go home?" I asked.

"Yes," She smiled grabbing my hand once more and intertwined her fingers with mine.

"Bella?"

"Mmm?"

"I love you."

"I love you too."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~

Time Skip: Edward's Birthday (A few months later)

Edward PoV

I woke up to an empty bed. Which only happened on the nights Bella spent in the smaller library with her new favorite author; James Joyce. I recalled her climbing into bed with me the night before, so I quickly shot up.

The clock said, it was almost noon. We had stayed up much of the night because she wanted me to tell her about my past birthdays. The story sharing carried on till three in the morning, with lots of cuddling and kissing. I walked out of our bedroom in just my boxers.

I considered the prospect of Bella throwing me a surprise party and walked back to our bedroom to put on some pants. Then, in my flannel pajama pants, I rushed downstairs and when the echoing clanging sound of pots reached my ears – I walked towards the kitchen.

I found my Bella in a sexy little maid outfit.

LITTLE. SEXY. MAID. OUTFIT.

_Happy birthday to me. _

It was a tight black dress with thick white lace lining, with a low v neck and a white frilly apron that was tied in a big bow in back. She had on white stockings and black stilettos that shocked me, but she looked soooo damn good in them, and her hair was put up in a loose pony tail that I loved.

She was putting dishes into the dishwasher. I could feel myself begin to harden in the nether regions as she bent over. More dishes clanged, but all I could pay attention to was the outline of her behind.

She closed the dishwasher and clicked the button to turn it on; when she turned around she jumped at the sight of me.

The outfit was so short…so tight….so hot. Her cleavage was so prudent thanks to the tightness of her top.

_God. _

"Bella."

"Good morning, sir," She smiled and gave me a nineteenth century bow.

_Sir? _

"What are you up to?"

"It's your birthday. I'm here to serve you, sir."

"I must be dreaming," I muttered as my eyes didn't have the decency to look above that prominent cleavage.

"I made you an ice cream Reese's cake, would you like it now?" She asked going on her tippy toes and going back down so her breasts jiggled a bit.

My cock hardened so fast it hurt.

"Sure, Bella. That would be great," I half muttered as I finally looked at her beautiful innocent face. Maybe not so innocent. That evil glimmer in her eye was unmistakable, and that sly smirk was a tad bit unnerving. I went back to looking at her breasts as I walked towards the dark stone kitchen table. There was no way I'd be able to walk towards the dining room with my hardening hard on without ravaging her on the way.

That was only natural I reasoned. We hadn't had sex in about a week because of her trying to finish grading her student's finals so she could get the student's grades out on time, and me working on my three part lecture. We spent a lot of time in the library together, she would mark and grade, and I would type and do research. Although, most of the time we were in our pajamas or lounge clothes with junk food and both wanting sex but not being able to sacrifice the time. Well I was willing to sacrifice the time, but Bella wouldn't let me. She was a very get work done now, play later type of girl.

And it was playtime now.

_God she was hot. _

She quickly pulled out the chair for me, and in a daze I sat down.

_This was all too hot. _

She planted a soft kiss on my cheek, shoving her breasts right in front of me and then sashayed behind the island where I finally noticed a huge plate of cake. I watched as she carefully lit all 37, plus one for luck, candles around the perimeter of the cake and then walked towards me slowly. I could tell she had practiced with her new heels before. Probably preparing.

I couldn't help but snort when I saw what she did. In the center of the cake was a poorly frosty drawn picture of Joseph Conrad.

"Conrad?" I asked as I looked up at her.

She smiled triumphantly, "it's psychological. If you see and hear enough about him, you'll eventually get sick of him," she reasoned.

"I doubt it," I smirked.

"He committed the most intense crimes against literature, he should be punished for the eighth amendment….you'll come to your senses eventually."

I raised an eyebrow, "One day…I'll make you accept him as an amazing author."

"He is an Austen to my Twain."

"I thought you liked Austen."

"I do, now blow out your candles."

"Haha, yes ma'am," I replied blowing out the candles and making one single wish.

_For Bella's happiness. _

I looked back up at her as she began to pick out all the candles from the cake.

"How could you like Austen, while you have your affair with Twain?"

"Affair?"

"I see how you ogle him." I teased her.

"Why you! I do not ogle him! I respect him! Who else could rewrite history and make a schizophrenic into an icon!"

"What are you talking about?" I asked looking at the cake…it looked real good otherwise. I had no idea how long it took Bella to perfect it.

"Joan of Ark only became important because of Twain, she didn't even have a real impact in the war. Also she was a schizo, you know loco, crazy…"

"Why am I getting lectured on my birthday…what happened to sir, and all that cute maid stuff?"

"I'm sorry, sir," I could hear the giggle trying to escape her lips. _Fuck, those lips._

"So…you're my…erhm, servant for the day?"

"Yes, sir."

"So you have to do as I say?"

"Yes, sir."

"Take off your clothes."

"What!?"

"You said you'd do as I say?"

"But – but…"

"How about this, do as I say today, and I will not say a word on Conrad for a whole year."

"Not one word?"

"He who shall not be mentioned will never come across my lips again."

"He's worse than Voldemort."

"So deal?"

She looked as though she contemplated the pros and cons, but I knew that deep down she understood that I'd never embarrass her. She just had a habit of always contemplating before a deal. Repainting the rooms was agonizing because of her thought process. What should have taken two weeks took nearly three months.

"Deal," she extended her arm towards me to seal the deal. I guess my sneaking Conrad books into her purse weren't seen as cute little love gestures. Especially when I discovered them in the trash can the next morning.

We shook on it and I repeated myself, "Clothes. Off."

"You are wicked…." She muttered as her hands reached behind her back and untied the white frilly apron.

"Gregory McGuire Wicked or –"

"Shut up and enjoy this." She looked at me sternly as she slowly unzipped the back of her tight little dress.

Slowly she slid that beautiful masterpiece of a piece of a fabric off her slender shoulders.

Somehow my hardness increased to the point of creating a very visible tent in my pants, and I saw the way Bella was eyeing it.

She licked her beautiful plump lips nonchalantly as the dress slid down her torso to reveal her hot pink lace bra that was pretty much see through.

_Happy…fucking birthday. _

"You look so hot," I muttered as I leaned forward in my chair.

Slowly she pushed down the dress, and just like her bra, her panties were made of the same see-through pink lace. Then…she revealed that her white stockings were in fact thigh highs.

Gracefully one of her legs escaped her dress, followed by the other.

Her legs were so perfect.

She gently grabbed the seams of her thigh highs and I stopped her.

"Leave those on," I asked. I wanted those heels and thigh highs on her.

_There was no fucking way this woman was approaching 30. _

Her eyes met mine as she straightened up and stared at me.

"Come here," was my next command.

She slowly walked towards me, and her nipples erected with anticipation.

"Sit on my lap."

"Yes, sir," She obediently sat her bubbly behind on my lap, making sure to get 'comfortable', which caused my cock much irritation.

I wanted her so badly.

But I loved the foreplay and teasing too much to jump straight to business.

She looked at me from over her shoulder, "What would you like me to do now, sir?"

"Feed me."

_Fuck me. _

"I need to get the fork, sir." She replied batting her eyelashes at me.

"Finger it."

Slowly she fingered the top of the cake, completely distorting the face of Conrad, and held her frosty finger in front of my mouth.

"You first, you know, to make sure it's not poisoned," I whispered leaning closer to her as she put her finger between her lips and sucked the frosting off while opening her mouth slightly to let me see her tongue swirl around it.

I subconsciously lifted my hips slightly.

I needed her.

She fingered the cake again, this time getting in deeper and before she could bring her chocolaty finger towards me, I pressed it against her shoulder.

Slowly I licked the cold ice cream cake off her shoulder. I could see goosebumps form all over her back and that gave me enough satisfaction to continue my little cake game.

"Delicious," I whispered as she fingered some more cake and then turned her body around so her legs were around mine and she faced me. She wiped it all over my chest and slowly licked it off, making sure to suck around the area with the dripping ice cream. I leaned back in the chair to give her better access, because fuck, it felt so damn good.

I couldn't keep the groan from escaping, and before I could comprehend what I was doing, I unhooked her bra and fingered the cake myself.

She carefully slipped her bra off, letting it fall on the kitchen floor as I violated her nipple with the cold ice cream. I heard her mutter something incoherent as she straddled me tighter and arched her back. I placed my clean hand on her lower back to keep her steady.

I lowered my mouth to quickly assault her nipple my sticky cold finger gently grazed her other breast. Now, she moaned and whispered my name.

I bit her nipple just rough enough for her scream in surprise. I sucked on it, begging for forgiveness as I fingered the cake some more and dressed her other breast will the creamy, cold, peanut butter choc lately goodness. I could almost hear her heart accelerate as my mouth traveled to her other nipple.

"Edward…" Her hands traveled to my hair and she began to tug.

That was too much, I couldn't hold out much longer. I pushed the cake away and lifted her onto the table. She quickly crossed her ankles behind me, keeping me close to her. My mouth found hers and we began to make out like crazy teenagers, with battling tongues and deep gasps of desire.

I tugged at her panties and gave up and just ripped them off, because seriously, who has time. I fingered the cake once more, but only to get my finger as cold as possible. Then I fingered her right away, feeling her hot wetness tighten around my cold sticky finger.

"God, so wet." I muttered between kisses as I increased to two fingers.

"Want….you," she muttered back with intense desire as she tried to lift her hips towards my fingers when I pulled out.

My thumb gently stimulated her clit and her head shot back as she moaned loudly in satisfaction. I quickly went to her neck, sucking, biting, and kissing it all over. That was one of my favorite spots and the fastest way to get her in the mood.

"Edward….Edward…Fuck me," she was absolutely breathless as she tugged my hair harder.

"What happened to the sir?" I teased as I bit her neck harder then I should have.

"UGHHHHH! Edward!" She screamed as I curled my finger to rub against her g-spot. We spent nearly a week working on the g-spot orgasm months ago, and now I could manipulate her body perfectly.

"Edward! Edward! Oh. God! Fuck! Edward!" I continued to rub her clit and play with her g-spot as she shut her eyes tightly and began to mutter incoherently.

I could feel the walls of her vagina begin to clench up, preparing to orgasm, and a second before I pushed her off the edge, I shoved my pants and boxers half way down and plunged into her.

Her first orgasm felt amazing against my cock; the wetness and tightness nearly doubled. The throbbing of her body rushed all sane thoughts out of my head as I began to thrust deeply into her.

Her arms wrapped tightly around my neck and she tugged my hair as she continued to scream in ecstasy. "Bella…fuck…Bella….I love you. I love you." I muttered into her neck as I continued to fuck her on the kitchen table.

"Ed-ed-Edward….Oh….MY GOD!" She screamed as I rotated my hips slightly with my last thrust.

I loved to make her senseless.

"Every fucking hour….I daydream…." I took quick gasps as I went faster and deeper, "of fucking you, in every spot of this house. God, Bella. Fuck. You're so tight," I was a dirty talker…

I could feel my orgasm building up, and by her gasps and body movements I could tell she was nearing her second. I wanted to prolong it…so I grabbed her ass and lifted her up off the table as close to me as possible.

She whimpered in disappointment when I exited her and placed her on the floor.

"Turn around, hold on to the island," I commanded her and she bent over with her arms locked, pushing against the island table. Seeing her in only thigh highs and six inch heels, bent over the counter was too much….

I went back inside her, and both of us moaned in the perfect feeling. I spanked her twice before pushing myself closer to her and thrusting harder and deeper. My hands quickly found her nipples and began to twist them and grope her boobs roughly.

Everything about her drove me over my edge. Her smell, her moans, her feel…I loved it all, especially the way her skin glistened with sweat.

Her body trembled and then I felt her knees give out, as my cock stiffened and twitched as we both reached our climax together. Her arms bent and her whole body was barely held up by the table.

We both eventually slid down to the cold limestone floor, wrapped up in one another. No words needed to be said, no pleasantries needed to be exchanged. It was all clear.

I love you was on both our minds.

It was nearly a half hour later that Bella finally spoke with a slightly strained voice, "your birthday's not over yet."

"I melted the cake," I mused as I looked at the puddle of frosting, chocolate and peanut butter ice cream on the table across from us.

"I'll stop the world, and melt with you…." She sang softly into the crevasse of my neck.

"Making love to you was never second best…." I half whispered half sang back.

"There's nothing you and I wouldn't do."

"The future's open wide."

"You've seen the difference….and it's getting better all the time…." She muttered with a happy sigh, "We messed up the lyrics."

"I think kids call that a remix."

"Kiss me," She demanded and I obliged and gently pressed our swollen lips together. She was making me horny all over again.

"That's our song now," She said running her finger tips down my chest.

* * *

**A/N: **Next chapter is with some Alice and Jasper goodness. :) I hope you liked this chapter, I love you guys! Please review :)


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